Q&A with Tim โ€” Three Life Commandments, 4-Hour Workweek Exercises I Still Use, The Art and Joy of Inefficiency, Stoicism Revisited, and Much More (#813)

Welcome back to another in-between-isode, with one of my favorite formats: the good old-fashioned Q&A.

I answer questions submitted by the small-but-elite group of test readers of my upcoming THE NO BOOK. The community is closed for new members, as we have the right number of people now, but I hope to potentially expand it once the book comes out.ย 

This episode explores everything from childhood nostalgia and the outdoor activities Iโ€™d want to share with future kids to what my personal, highly comfortable, cult uniforms might look like if I were ever so inclinedโ€”donโ€™t worry, Iโ€™m not. We also cover how I work with AI, Stoicism, tools from The 4-Hour Workweek that I still use, and much, much more.

Please enjoy!

Listen to the episode onย Apple Podcasts,ย Spotify,ย Overcast,ย Podcast Addict,ย Pocket Casts,ย Castbox,ย YouTube Music,ย Amazon Music,ย Audible, or on your favorite podcast platform. Watch the Q&A on YouTube. The transcript of this episodeย can be found here. Transcripts of all episodesย can be found here.

This episode is brought to you by Monarch Money track, budget, plan, and do more with your money; Eight Sleep Pod Cover 5 sleeping solution for dynamic cooling and heating; and AG1 all-in-one nutritional supplement.

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This episode is brought to you by Monarch Money! Traditional budgeting apps can help, but they donโ€™t compare to the complete financial command center you get with this episode’s sponsor, Monarch Money. Monarch is like your own personal CFO, giving you full visibility and control so you can stop merely earning and start growing.

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This episode is brought to you byย AG1!ย I get asked all the time, โ€œIf you could use only one supplement, what would it be?โ€ My answer is usuallyย AG1, my all-in-one nutritional insurance. I recommended it inย The 4-Hour Bodyย in 2010 and did not get paid to do so. I do my best with nutrient-dense meals, of course, butย AG1ย further covers my bases with vitamins, minerals, and whole-food-sourced micronutrients that support gut health and the immune system.ย 

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This episode is brought to you by Eight Sleep. Temperature is one of the main causes of poor sleep, and heat is my personal nemesis. Iโ€™ve suffered for decades, tossing and turning, throwing blankets off, pulling them back on, and repeating ad nauseam. But a few years ago, I started using the Pod Cover, and it has transformed my sleep. Eight Sleep has launched their newest generation of the Pod: Pod 5 Ultra. It cools, it heats, and now it elevates, automatically. With the best temperature performance to date, Pod 5 Ultra ensures you and your partner stay cool in the heat and cozy warm in the cold. Plus, it automatically tracks your sleep time, snoring, sleep stages, and HRV, all with high precision. For example, their heart rate tracking is at an incredible 99% accuracy.

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Want to hear a Q&A from the not-too-distant past? Listen here as I discuss reinvention, snacks, intriguing investments, modern dating, personal heresies, incentivizing potential mentors, making room for the irrational, workout routines for older parents, and much more.


What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

Continue reading “Q&A with Tim โ€” Three Life Commandments, 4-Hour Workweek Exercises I Still Use, The Art and Joy of Inefficiency, Stoicism Revisited, and Much More (#813)”

The Tim Ferriss Show Transcripts: The Random Show โ€” New Health Gadgets, Timโ€™s Latest Adventures, How to Drink Less, Zen Retreats, AI + Your Genome, and Colonoscopy Confessions (#812)

Please enjoy this transcript of another wide-ranging “Random Show” episode I recorded with my close friendย Kevin Roseย (digg.com)!

We cover dozens of topics: from the cutting edge of health tech to pro-tips for colonoscopies; AI; adventures in Japan and Taiwan seeking out perfect coffee and tea; tips for drinking less alcohol; powerful documentaries likeย 32 Soundsย and books such asย Awareness;ย the unexpected joys and therapeutic benefits of adult Lego; and much, much more.

Transcripts may contain a few typos. With many episodes lasting 2+ hours, it can be difficult to catch minor errors. Enjoy!

Listen to the episode on Apple PodcastsSpotifyOvercastPodcast AddictPocket CastsCastboxYouTube MusicAmazon MusicAudible, or on your favorite podcast platform. Watch the conversation on YouTube.

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DUE TO SOME HEADACHES IN THE PAST, PLEASE NOTE LEGAL CONDITIONS:

Tim Ferriss owns the copyright in and to all content in and transcripts of The Tim Ferriss Show podcast, with all rights reserved, as well as his right of publicity.

WHAT YOUโ€™RE WELCOME TO DO: You are welcome to share the below transcript (up to 500 words but not more) in media articles (e.g., The New York Times, LA Times, The Guardian), on your personal website, in a non-commercial article or blog post (e.g., Medium), and/or on a personal social media account for non-commercial purposes, provided that you include attribution to โ€œThe Tim Ferriss Showโ€ and link back to the tim.blog/podcast URL. For the sake of clarity, media outlets with advertising models are permitted to use excerpts from the transcript per the above.

WHAT IS NOT ALLOWED: No one is authorized to copy any portion of the podcast content or use Tim Ferrissโ€™ name, image or likeness for any commercial purpose or use, including without limitation inclusion in any books, e-books, book summaries or synopses, or on a commercial website or social media site (e.g., Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.) that offers or promotes your or anotherโ€™s products or services. For the sake of clarity, media outlets are permitted to use photos of Tim Ferriss from the media room on tim.blog or (obviously) license photos of Tim Ferriss from Getty Images, etc.


Tim Ferriss: Kevin, good to see you, sir.

Kevin Rose: Tim, Tim, always a pleasure. Good to be here.

Tim Ferriss: So the ravages of childhood illness are ripping through your household at the moment?

Kevin Rose: Yeah. It was one of those things where I hit you up this morning, I was like, “Yeah, there’s a cold going around. Can we boot this podcast?” You’re like, “I have to have my colon examined.” And so we decided to do it today. So I feel pretty good though, actually. All things considered.

Tim Ferriss: Yes.

Kevin Rose: True story.

Tim Ferriss: True story. True story. We have all of the fun things to discuss in our advancing years, but one step at a time. One step at a time.

Kevin Rose: By the way, I have a lot of pro-tips for the colonoscopy if you haven’t already done one.

Tim Ferriss: Let’s do it. I have done a colonoscopy before.

Kevin Rose: Okay.

Tim Ferriss: The reason that I am methodical about this is, not to immediately start on a down note, but a friend of mine ended up getting terminal colon cancer which metastasized prior to that diagnosis to his liver.

And so I have been very much on schedule with doing this type of checkup. Even though it’s inconvenient, even though it’s unpleasant, you’ve got to do it. You just have to do it.

Kevin Rose: I had a friend who actually had a big massive chunk of his colon removed because of this. He had some cancer, so very important to stay on top.

But I will say the drugs they give you when you’re going in, the propofol? Propofol. Yeah, that shit, that’s what Michael Jackson died on. Do you know that? That’s what he died on.

Tim Ferriss: Wow. That’s why I won’t self administer.

Kevin Rose: No, you don’t self administer that. But I will say, if you have a cool doc, and it’s typically the anesthesiologist that does this, they will do what’s called the slow ramp, where rather than push it all in and give you that bull’s dose where it just knocks you out, they’ll let you just chill and ride it for about a minute or so.

And I can see why Michael Jackson was hooked on this shit. I did that with them. I asked for the slow ramp the last time I got it. Dude, you feel amazing when they give you that stuff. Yeah, that’s crazy.

Tim Ferriss: That sounds like an anti-sales pitch. I think if it’s likely that I will just remember the bliss of that experience and want another bite of the apple, maybe I won’t ask for the slow ramp.

I’ll just say, “Hey, just blow dart in the back of the neck. Take me out as quickly as possible.” So that is, I think, where I’ll go with tomorrow’s lovely procedure.

Kevin Rose: I didn’t tell you this, but the last time I did my colonoscopy โ€” it’s always hard when there’s a really attractive nurse in the room and they’re like, “Flip on your side.” And you know what they’re going to do and it’s just like, I don’t really feel like this is the right crew.

Tim Ferriss: Right setting.

Kevin Rose: Set and setting was not right for me there, but there was โ€” I went through with it. There’s nothing you could do with that point. You’re just flip on your side.

Hopefully, you don’t remember anything and you don’t and you’re good, so I was okay. But anyway, godspeed tomorrow, Tim. Wishing you the best.

Tim Ferriss: Godspeed. Well, the reason we were comparing notes for self-care and how that can change over time is you said that you have a scan scheduled for this week, right?

Kevin Rose: Yeah, I have a Prenuvo tomorrow, so a full-body MRI scan done. I had mentioned this on a podcast we did a while back, but they found basically a little tiny thing in my brain that could turn into a larger vessel rupture and so they have to keep tabs on it.

So, I go back once a year and it’s been stable. It’s been totally stable for the last, call it a year and a half. So they’re like, “Yeah, you could have had this your entire time.” That’s part of the problem with getting these full-body MRIs, right?

Because you go in there and on the plus side, I’ve had a friend that found a tumor in his brain and he had it removed. It was the size of a golf ball, it was crazy. He was fine.

Tim Ferriss: Jesus.

Kevin Rose: And you catch that stuff early and it’s amazing because it saves your life and then on the downside, lots of false positives, right? Little tiny cysts and things that have just been there your entire life.

Tim Ferriss: Or just positive positives, but there’s small things that you can’t or won’t do anything about. So you just need to accept that you have.

Kevin Rose: Exactly. Like a brain aneurysm, which is what I have, and now I know that I have it.

Tim Ferriss: Fun times. So there is that.

Kevin Rose: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Well, what are your suggestions for people psychologically if they’re listening and, for instance, I think of my parents who have been by and large, especially one more than the other, averse to getting comprehensive checkups in part because ignorance is bliss until it isn’t, right?

If it’s something serious, then you just accidentally signed your death warrant if you take it to an extreme extent. But they are afraid of what they might find. So what are your thoughts on this? My thought is step number one, honestly for me, is just develop a baseline of scientific literacy.

You could listen to studying the studies or read that from Peter Attia. There’s a book called Bad Science that I actually excerpted for The 4-Hour Body at one point, just to give you an idea of what matters and what doesn’t, because a lot gets sensationalized in the news.

And so you can train yourself to blow things out of proportion. And once you realize just how inert and unimportant, for instance, I have a number of, I don’t know if they’d be termed cysts or otherwise, but one on my kidney and then one in another place. And it’s not fun to see those things.

But I suppose having done so much in terms of medical checkups, blood draws and so on, there is also a conditioning over time where you become less sensitive. But if you only do it once in a blue moon, you’re more prone to overreacting. Any other thoughts on that?

Kevin Rose: Yeah, I think you nailed it where it’s like, for me, it’s an annual thing, so I’m just automatically going to do it no matter what. And once you get two or three of them under your belt, you’re much better off.

But I would say that one of the things that I’ve heard time and time again is people don’t like going into MRIs because they put you in this little tiny tube. And a lot of people have claustrophobia around that. And I know that you can watch Netflix on some of them now and they’ve got all these little displays, but it doesn’t help people.

So I would say there’s two things that I’ve seen that people have done to sidestep this. One is if you talk to your doctor and you really do have a severe anxiety around claustrophobia, they’ll give you some kind of benzo and just chill you out for a little bit. And you can go in there and you’ll get through it.

And the second thing is there’s another test called GRAIL. I don’t know if you’ve ever done the GRAIL test, but my physician does that as well. And it’s just a blood test and it’s going to screen for a bunch of cancers as well.

And so if you’re like, “Hey, no way, with the MRI, I don’t want to know about the cyst, but I still want some cancer screening,” I think the GRAIL’s probably the best to market for just general blood work cancer screening.

Tim Ferriss: All right. Should we move on from old man roll call?

Kevin Rose: From dying? Yeah, exactly. From death.

Tim Ferriss: From death. All right, I’ll kick us off with something that I think is pretty fun that I certainly was not aware of, and it’s a documentary. So this is a documentary, it’s called 32 Sounds and people can check this out if you’re going to watch it, watch it with a headset.

It could be in-ear AirPods, something like that. But certainly, if you have higher quality headphones, I would use those. Here’s the description. It has 96 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.

32 Sounds is an immersive feature documentary and profound sensory experience from Academy Award nominated filmmaker, Sam Green, featuring original music by J.D. Samson. The film explores the elemental phenomenon of sound by weaving together 32 specific sound explorations into a cinematic meditation on the power of sound to bend time, cross borders, and profoundly shape our perception of the world around us.

It’s just a fundamentally different movie going โ€” or film watching in this case โ€” listening experience in anything I’ve ever seen. So from that perspective, I thought it was worthwhile, very worthwhile. And it will certainly lead you to, for a period of time afterwards, relate to the world of sound and this ability that sometimes we take for granted, which under the hood, is pretty bizarre or at the very least, amazing. So that’s a recommendation to get us out of death land and into savoring life land.

Kevin Rose: Walk me through this as someone that hasn’t even seen a trailer for it, are we talking sound bath action here? Are we seeing visuals on the screen? What is it?

Tim Ferriss: You’re seeing visuals. There are points in the documentary, for instance, where they’ll prompt you to close your eyes if you are sighted because they don’t assume that everyone is. And it weaves the visual and the auditory together along with background context from the filmmaker into a documentary that is just unlike anything I’ve seen.

Kevin Rose: That’s awesome.

Tim Ferriss: For that reason I thought I would throw it out there because as you know Kevin, and maybe we’ll talk about this, but we spent some time together. My first time with Henry Shukman in New Mexico, we did a mini Zen retreat. And you can really sharpen your awareness, broadly speaking, by [homing] in on the specific.

So you might do a session where you’re focused just on breathing in and out and the sensation at the nostrils, for instance, you might also focus on soundscape. And when we were sitting, we did a lot of focusing on soundscape, different types of sounds, things that are intermittent, things that are one off, things that are droning in the background.

This documentary can be a tool in the toolkit. I just think it’s a nice way to jumpstart that type or magnify the awareness that we already have.

Kevin Rose: Yeah, this is one of those things where, I don’t know about you, but I found myself drawn to more kind of indie, weird documentary style stuff lately just because there’s so much commercial shit out there where I’m like, I don’t need another show, I don’t need more violence in my head.

I watched Flow not too long ago. I think we talked about that once before. That was a fantastic movie. You didn’t like it though, right?

Tim Ferriss: I haven’t watched it yet.

Kevin Rose: Oh, shit.

Tim Ferriss: And I guess what I want to know is how long does it take for you to get accustomed to the sort of low-fi aesthetic of that particular animation? Right? Because it looks, I’m not even sure how you would describe it, very polygonal, right? If I’m getting the pronunciation right.

Kevin Rose: Polygonal. Low poly.

Tim Ferriss: I think I’m getting there. Low poly. Yeah, which polygon? Polygonal. There we go. Something like that. I’m getting too fancy for my own good. But how long does it take you to get accustomed to โ€” and, if my memory serves me right, it’s from a filmmaker somewhere in Hungary or Lithuania, something like that. Animated film, all about animals, the visual aesthetic, the look is what kept me from watching it. So maybe you could just speak to that for a second.

Kevin Rose: Yeah. So it does have this very low poly kind of Nintendo-type vibes to it where it’s not the PS5, it’s like a crappier version where you can see some of the artifacts, but there’s no speech at all. It’s just a completely silent film.

Well, not silent. It has its sounds, but there’s no talking at all. And it’s kind of post-apocalyptic vibes. This cat is trying to make its way through this new world. It’s beautiful. I’d say about five minutes of that weird, “Where am I? Why is this low poly?” And then all of a sudden you feel you’re โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Used to it.

Kevin Rose: Polyamorous. What is it when you get used to something like that? Is it polyamorous?

Tim Ferriss: Low polyamorous? Yeah.

Kevin Rose: Low polyamorous, yeah. So you get used to it whether you like it or not. But it was Latvia was where it was โ€” it came out of โ€”

Tim Ferriss: There we go. Sorry, Latvia.

Kevin Rose: It’s beautiful. Watch the trailer. It’s a minute and a half long. It’s absolutely stunning. It’s like this cat forms these relationships with these birds and these dogs and they’re all trying to survive. And it’s 84 minutes of just good, fun, low poly documentary.

Tim Ferriss: Is there a minimum required amount of enhancement before you watch such a thing? Or were you watching it stone-cold?

Kevin Rose: No.

Tim Ferriss: Okay, just making sure.

Kevin Rose: Dude, I’m clean. I’m clean these days. In fact, that’s something I want to talk about. I’m so clean right now.

Tim Ferriss: Let’s talk about clean, because sometimes when I hear you say clean, that means that you’ve been clean for 13, 14 hours. So what are we talking here? Let’s hop right into it.

Kevin Rose: 24 hours. No, I’m just kidding.

Tim Ferriss: I’ll watch it. And I’ll watch Flow tonight. I’ve been meaning to watch it and for whatever reason have kept pushing it. I don’t really have a great excuse. So since I’ll be up all night, shitting my brains out, drinking these various potions that the doctors prescribed me, I might as well try to watch something.

Kevin Rose: Yeah. So to give you, just real quick on the Flow movie, $3.5 million budget to create this. So it was very scrappy. 36 million in the box office and was at the Cannes Film Festival. They premiered and it just won a bunch of awards.

So anyway, I highly recommend checking it out. I think you can stream it for free. But anyway, onto โ€” should we switch โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Kevin being clean?

Kevin Rose: Yeah, clean. Let’s do it. So dude, here’s the deal. Okay. We’ve had this conversation a few times and you and I will get on a phone call and I’ll be like, “How you doing?” You’re like, “Oh, dating’s hard because you have to drink every night.”

And I’m like, “Life’s hard. So you have to drink every night.” I’m like, “Being married’s hard, you have to drink every night.” So it’s like you’re damned if you do, you’re damned if you don’t.

No, but all jokes aside, one of the things that I realized is that earlier this year, I made this very proud statement that I’m going to go 90 days without drinks and everybody says 90 days is where the magic happens, this and that, classic Kevin bullshit where I fail after a week.

And so I went close to a month. I had a couple little things where I was like, well, I’ve got this event, I’m allowing myself to have two or three drinks, whatever. And so it was cheating, but I did a month ish.

Around the holidays and then after I lost my house in the fire, I realized that there was this moment where I just realized what I’m doing is no longer serving me. And it’s really, I just didn’t feel like drinking was the solution to anything.

I wasn’t having the same joyous kind of fun with friends type drinking. It was more out of habit and also continuous. So what I mean by that is rather than I’ve never been to like, oh it, I had six drinks last night. Those were, I mean, maybe a donation or some stupid shit like that.

But outside of the random podcast once a year, it was more a consistency thing. And then I got some really scary blood work back from my doctor where I went to have my quarterly blood check and my liver enzymes were 150, which is just insane. So that’s, it should be under 20.

Tim Ferriss: That’s like Barry Bondsโ€™ peak level liver enzymes.

Kevin Rose: Right, exactly. I should have been jacked as from juicing, but instead, it was just me hitting champagne or drinks the problems. I would have two things. One, my liver is just not what it used to be as I get older. And two, the consistency, like I said, two or three drinks just a lot of nights in a row.

And it was really easy for my wife and I to crack a bottle and just finish it together and just call it a night. So long story short, I was like, I need to change something and what I’m doing is not working. And if I really want to go 90 days, I have to surround myself with people that can help me here.

And so I have had, now, three friends that have done one version of a 12-step program, one I think has actually been on your podcast before. But I called them all up and I said, “Hey, I don’t think I can do 90 days by myself. I need some help. I need some support here. What can I do? What tools do you have at your disposal that I can lean into for support here?”

And they were super helpful. Each of them had a slightly different recommendation and I pulled some of those tools and I started applying them to my everyday life. And now as we speak, I’m 26 days completely, perfectly sober. Not a single drink. And it was freaking hard, dude, to get here, but I’m feeling really good now.

Tim Ferriss: So having known you a long time, and maybe if people are first time listeners, this is a remarkable stretch for you.

Kevin Rose: Oh, my God. When was the last time you went 30 days, brother?

Tim Ferriss: I’m actually close to 30 days right now. I had two days probably where I had some drinks in the last almost 30 days actually.

Kevin Rose: Really? You’re hitting 30 days?

Tim Ferriss: We can talk about it. It is almost entirely because of the people around me and that’s it. So I have some follow up questions for you, but what were the tools or the things that you did, the things you tweaked that made it more successful this time around?

Kevin Rose: Well, it’s ongoing, but I will get to three months and I have no doubt about that at this point. But I would say first and foremost is to reach out and connect with people that have done some type of assisted programs.

There are multiple different types of 12-step ish type programs that are out there. And I’d say that the first thing was that a friend of mine said, “Hey, listen, one of the things that โ€” the tenets of AA โ€” that it works quite well โ€” is it’s not about going 90 days.”

All it is about waking up that morning and saying, “Not today.” It’s about 24 hours. It’s always about 24 hours. It’s about the recommitment every single morning to wake up and say, “Hey, I could have a drink tomorrow, just not today.” And then saying that over and over and over again.

And when you’re someone that went through COVID and I didn’t drink a lot, and then all of a sudden, I thought we were all going to die, so I drank a ton. And it’s this itchiness that appears at around week one and a half or so. There’s a saying, a snake shedding its skin, this withdrawal type thing that you have to go through that is very challenging. And it’s at that point that you have to realize you’re in the thick of it. And I wasn’t having DTs or anything crazy.

Tim Ferriss: What was that? Delirium tremens, you’re talking about shakes?

Kevin Rose: Yeah, shakes and stuff like that. So this was more just like how do I get to a point where I can be comfortable in my own skin and sit here and be okay with just being myself? And it’s a very weird thing to say I wasn’t able to pull that off.

And actually, what it is is these phone calls to these people. What happens in a lot of these different programs, and there’s two of them that I looked at specifically, is that one of the first things that happens when you join these different various programs is they surround you with like-minded people and phone numbers, phone numbers of people to call.

And you call them up and it’s not like, “Hey, talk me out the ledge, here.” I’m sure for some people it is, but for me it’s just like, “Hey, help me get through this next half hour,” and “How should I be thinking about this?”

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Kevin Rose: And so once you build up enough of a runway here, and I’m finally at a point where I feel really, really good in a way that I haven’t in a long time, and I don’t want to go back on that.

And so that support network I think is one of the strongest pillars of a 12-step program is like you said, surrounding yourself with people that are just going to be there to pick up the phone and have that conversation. And then it’s a bunch of hobbies to fill out the rest of the time.

Tim Ferriss: And it’s not just people to, like you said, talk you off the ledge, which may or may not be the case, but people to whom you feel accountable also. You just got on the phone and talk to someone, and if you drink, chances are you’re going to have to talk to them.

And you don’t want to be the person who breaks rank or who doesn’t live up to your commitment. So that accountability is really powerful. You’ve said there were two organizations that you took a look at. What were the two organizations or groups?

Kevin Rose: I would just say use ChatGPT and type in, “12-step programs not drinking.” You’re not supposed to talk about these things โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Oh, it’s like Fight Club.

Kevin Rose: โ€” when you go and check them out. 

Tim Ferriss: You’re not supposed to talk about them? Why not? I know people, for instance, who have been like, “Yeah, I’m in Narcotics Anonymous,” or whatever.

Kevin Rose: I’ll give you an example. So Brad Pitt got a bunch of shit for saying he was in AA. And if you’re in AA, you’re not supposed to say you’re in AA.

Tim Ferriss: Oh, he got from AA people or people in AA?

Kevin Rose: Exactly.

Tim Ferriss: I feel like it’s a good thing because he would draw attention to โ€” 

Kevin Rose: I would too.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” a lifeline for people who are having trouble with alcohol? That’s interesting.

Kevin Rose: Right, exactly. Exactly. So most of these organizations don’t want you chatting about them. And so it’s really fascinating.

Tim Ferriss: Weird.

Kevin Rose: But not in a culty way. It sounds very culty-ish, but in reality, it’s just to protect who’s in them and also not make it be about the organization if someone fails.

Because if I were to go back and say, “Hey, listen, I’m trying this thing out right now,” or “I tried this thing,” or “I went to two meetings of this thing,” and then later you hear, “I only made it 45 days,” you’re like, “Oh, that must suck as an organization.”

And so it’s like you don’t associate yourself with any of these things. A lot of people might see that as a failure and then never try it. So that’s one of the other things that they say.

Tim Ferriss: Okay.

Kevin Rose: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Well, I don’t want you to come under the wrath of the spider web of AA.

Kevin Rose: One thing that I can suggest is LEGO.

Tim Ferriss: LEGO?

Kevin Rose: LEGO. If you’re not watching the video, I’m holding up a massive Japanese wave called “The Great Wave of Kanagawa,” which is a woodblock that was done.

Tim Ferriss: Hokusai?

Kevin Rose: Yeah, Hokusai from the, what was it, Edo period, I think, when he did these woodblock prints. But I spent three days making this with my oldest daughter, which is amazing. So much fun.

Tim Ferriss: So much fun. Just a quick note on that particular piece. So it’s very easy to find. Most people have seen it. A lot of people have seen it. If you just search “Hokusai, H-O-K-U-S-A-I, Hokusai’s wave,” you’ll see this pop up.

But if you search “evolution of Hokusai’s wave,” you get to see over time his prototyping and tweaking and changing of that particular wave until it landed on what we now recognize as this timeless, iconic piece, which is quite cool. So people can take a look at that if they’re interested.

Kevin Rose: It’s so cool. Yeah, his stuff’s amazing. And the fact that LEGO makes adult LEGOs now, it’s so much fun.

Tim Ferriss: Are they just bigger for larger hands? What makes them adult or they’re just instead of being the Batcar, they’re Hokusai’s wave?

Kevin Rose: Well, the pieces are smaller, so they tend to look a lot more realistic. You could hang this on the wall and actually see art versus a LEGO, and then they’re doing it with little mini bonsai trees, and I did with the bamboo shoots, and they’re actually pieces that you want to have around your house.

Oh, check this out. This one you’ll like too. I haven’t done this one yet, but this is one that you can only find in Japan, but I think you can find them on Amazon. This one’s called Nanoblocks. It’s like a LEGO competitor.

So these are really tiny little pieces, I bought this one when I was in Tokyo, but this is a cherry blossom tree, and I can’t remember how many pieces this one is, but it’s like they can be in the thousands. Yeah, this one’s 990 pieces for this little tiny tree. They’re fun to do, but it just gives you something. 

I realize what I need is โ€” a friend of mine actually said, he took up golf with his wife and he was like, “Hey, I took up golf with her because all we did was drink or talk about our kids. It was one of two things.” And you need to have something that you go and do in the evening, whether it be rock climbing or some type of physical activity that is not that substance.

Tim Ferriss: The physical activity piece, I’ve always found super effective because you get punished if you’re drinking too much, if you’re doing something that’s really physically intensive. You mentioned this guy going to play golf with his wife.

So my question for you, we can always cut this too, but since it is about your surroundings and so on, is Darya also on board with the not drinking or are you able to take that on yourself while she’s partaking? How is that working out?

Kevin Rose: So she’s still drinking, and I would say that the one nice benefit has been that she’s cut back a lot just naturally, which was cool to see. So her consumption, and she’s always wanted to cut back, but I don’t know how much of it is a result of seeing just my general energy levels going up and I feel a hell of a lot better.

Oh, by the way, my liver enzymes are back down to low thirties, which is great. So I’m starting to see my complexion and all these weird things that are happening that are just getting better, turns out not drinking is actually good for you.

But it’s one of those things where I think that is inspiring her to drink less, which is fantastic, but she still drinks and it doesn’t bother me. It is what it is. She has a hard time with certain things around the house when it comes to the kids and noise levels and stuff that I think it’s easier for her to have a drink or two just to calm the nerves a little bit. But I think it’s already showing, it’s wearing off on her as well, which is great.

Tim Ferriss: Nice. Well, I’m excited to see what happens at day 90. It seems like a huge difference now as you have the phone-a-friend support system put in place.

Kevin Rose: Yeah, the phone-a-friend is huge. But also, there is this group of people that get together and they have a weekly Zoom. And I jump on that and this one’s guys only. It’s a bunch of guys that don’t really want to be drinking, and it is a bonding moment to just talk about how these people are showing up.

And to hear stories about people that are showing up as better dads in particular really hits home with me. Not that I was showing up as a bad dad, but when I think about my father and some of the verbally abusive stuff and his wasn’t related to alcohol, but just dads showing up as the best versions of themselves means a lot to me.

It means a lot to be an awesome dad to my kids. And when I see these other dads that would’ve otherwise been alcoholics in their home, talking about how much they love their children and how they have more patience for their kids now, and patience for their partner because of the fact that they’ve stopped drinking or severely cut back on drinking is just like, it’s a blessing to watch that unfold. I’m seeing it in this large group of people that talk about these things.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I’d be curious to know, we can also cut this, obviously, we can cut whatever, but it’s top of mind because I had Terry Real on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, and his first book, which put him on the map is, I Don’t Want To Talk About It, which is โ€” 

Kevin Rose: Love that book.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” specifically focused on male depression, and he talks about covert depression, meaning men have these common modes of covering up depression, whether that be workaholism, alcoholism, sex addiction, fill in the blank.

Typically, some type of compulsive busying or dulling addiction. It could be drugs, I suppose, that could be cocaine that’s not dulling, but it’s quite a laundry list of things that he discusses as coping mechanisms for depression.

And I don’t think that substance abuse is always that. Some people just meet a molecule that is really not a good fit from an addiction profile perspective. I do think that it could be certainly a predisposition as simple as that.

It’s like your body, your bloodline really shouldn’t play with this molecule. But then there are other cases where there’s other stuff under the hood. Do the people in your group talk about that at all? Does that come up?

Kevin Rose: A hundred percent. Yeah, absolutely. I would say that if I had to guess, the vast majority of it is under-the-hood stuff. It’s not addressing all of the childhood trauma or our family of origin stories where and how we grew up, and there’s almost always a bit of that.

So as we popcorn around the Zoom and talk about different things, one of the things that commonly comes up is just not only how are you showing up today, but some of these little bits get exposed around these traumas that were largely left unaddressed and so led to this kind of dependence or this escape that alcohol can provide, which is just this dulling of my general ease, being able to sit there and be comfortable in your own skin because of a lot of the things that occurred to you as a child and not even knowing it.

And so addressing that stuff I think is a big part of a lot of these different step programs that are out there. They have different means and ways in which you can go and get that, put pen to paper, get out a lot of those things and address them and put them out there to the world, and hopefully, move on from them and heal from that.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, totally. All right, so I just got back from the most travel I’ve done in quite a while, four to five weeks. I was in Taiwan for a week, which was spectacular, and I’ll come back to that. Japan, as always, fascinating, interesting, beautiful, frustrating, depending on which side of it you hit. We’ve talked about this before, but it’s kind of like Japan is like 20 to 30 percent Blade Runner and 70 to 80 percent DMV in terms of rules and paperwork, and so on. But I love Japan. And then also spent a bit of time in the UAE, actually in Abu Dhabi, unexpectedly. So lots of travel updates. I will say for Taiwan, I had not been back to Taiwan since 1999 or 2000. So 25 years. I had had a very tough time when I studied abroad in Beijing. I studied at two universities, and this was 1996. It was a very, very rough experience at the time for a host of reasons. One was there was a lot of political tension between the US and China. I had my head shaved and looked like military, particularly back then, and I was a bit bigger. And it was just not a particularly welcoming environment.

Also, there were concerns about foreign students affecting domestic students, Chinese students, so we were put in a foreign experts dormitory. We were completely separate. So it was actually very hard to learn Chinese in the way that I was hoping to learn Chinese. My Japanese got better because there were a lot of Japanese students in the dormitory and also met some great people who lived in Beijing.

So it wasn’t exclusive, but I had a really rough time and when I got back to the US, basically decided to stop studying Mandarin. And a friend of mine who is a white guy born in the south of Japan, so he had perfect Japanese southern dialect. His English was a little unusual because he sounded like a Japanese person who had learned to speak English very well. This is a guy who looks like you or me. So there was something funky and really funny and awesome about that.

He also spoke Korean really well and spoke Chinese really well, and he said, “You have to at least go visit Taiwan before you lay down your pen and retire your Chinese.” And so I ended up spending about a month in Taiwan and it just blew my mind, right, because without the cultural revolution in Taiwan, a lot of the older culture from China had been preserved. Also, native sort of indigenous Taiwanese culture and cultures have been preserved. Very different from a kind of interpersonal perspective and just had the best time one could possibly imagine.

And in fairness, I have been back to mainland China in other places more recently and it’s a very different experience now. Although once again, we’re back in tension city between the US and China. But what I would say is if you have the chance to go to Taiwan, you should take the chance. And this might sound also โ€” I don’t think it’s pessimistic. I think it’s inevitable that at some point Taiwan will be reabsorbed by mainland China and it’s going to change really dramatically, culturally, linguistically. Perhaps the ability to travel there will get more complicated. I don’t know how it’s going to change, but it will change a lot and that I could see happening within the next few years.

Very surprisingly to me, people on the ground, at least the Taiwanese locals I spent time with, and I was with locals the whole time I was there. I wasn’t with any expats. They’re completely unconcerned. They really don’t seem to be thinking much about this type of transition either because they think it’s not going to happen or because they view it as I just said, somewhat as an inevitability. So they’re like, “Yeah, it’ll change. Things will change.” So it goes. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of hand wringing and fretting about it, which was super surprising to me.

I will say though, if you want to visit a place that is really warm where the people are really funny, where the food is outstanding and it almost feels like there’s a blended courtesy that you might recognize also from Japan, and certainly Japan has a long history there, so it could be some of the influence. Really I encourage people to check out Taiwan and do it soon, and I want to give a shout out to a restaurant there that two of the locals I know are involved with. You’re going to love the name of this restaurant. It is customized, although it predates โ€” I’m pretty sure it predates Google. The name of this restaurant is Really Good Seafood. That is the actual name.

Kevin Rose: I mean, it’s very descriptive. You know what you’re going to get.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, it’s very descriptive. Fantastic sculpture. Also like bronze sculptures in this restaurant strangely enough, but Really Good Seafood. Highly recommend people check it out and you just can’t go wrong in Taiwan. Try to get at least outside of Taipei for a short period of time, and there are amazing hikes in the mountains.

Kevin Rose: Yeah. I was going to ask you, did you do any tea? Because obviously the oolongs out of Taiwan are just absolutely stunning.

Tim Ferriss: They’re stunning.

Kevin Rose: Did you do any tea tours?

Tim Ferriss: We drank a lot of tea. I did not do a tea tour, but actually if you hold on for a second, let me go grab some tea. I haven’t even unpacked. I literally got back yesterday. So hold on one second.

Kevin Rose: Oh, sweet.

Tim Ferriss: I’m going to go grab something.

Kevin Rose: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: All right. So I brought some tea back and Taiwan has a lot of everything from a tea perspective, but certainly what gets the most airtime is oolong tea. You really hear about oolong. They have so many incredible teas, but this right here [foreign language 00:39:26] which certainly is not Chinese, but they have these incredible teas and this one in particular was recommended, which is called Oriental Beauty Oolong Tea. And there are a million different varieties. Certainly if you spend time there, I would say do not miss out on the tea.

If you think tea is boring, if you think tea doesn’t really spark your interest, doesn’t capture you, I would suggest just going whole hog on as much tea as you can. And get out in the mountains. I mean, even an hour outside of Taipei, you can go on these walks in rainforests that are to my eye denser than the Amazon. I mean, it is so lush and so dense. Waterfalls, rivers, monkeys. You just get to see it all. It is really incredible from a biodiversity perspective.

And I do think sadly, at least for ease of travel with Taiwan as it exists right now, the window could be quite narrow for a lot of tourism. So I would say maybe things will change, maybe they won’t. If and when the big red dragon basically subsumes Taiwan, but I would say get there. Get there sooner rather than later. You will not be disappointed and certainly check out Really Good Seafood. I have to give a shout-out โ€” 

Kevin Rose: Really Good Seafood.

Tim Ferriss: That’s the restaurant. And then of course going from Taiwan to Japan, pretty easy transition. It’s a very short flight and I guess somewhere between three and four hours. And instead of tea in Japan, just went on the rampage with coffee actually this time around. And one of the main reasons for the trip was to visit my host family, who I stayed with when I was 15. I’m still very close to them, and so we were able to go out to this rambunctious local ramen joint and just act like old times and catch up as if no time had passed. It’s just so nice to have those deep relationships. And like everyone everywhere, they’re getting older, meaning my parents, my host brothers, their kids. And it was wild to see my oldest host brother’s older boy is now 16. He’s taller than I am. I remember seeing him โ€” 

Kevin Rose: Oh, shit.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” when he was a baby, right? Because I went to my host brother’s wedding prior to that. And he’s the age that I was when I was in Japan, which is just โ€” 

Kevin Rose: Oh, it’s wild.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” so wild. It’s so wild. And wanted to give a couple of recommendations for people if they want to try a bunch of coffee. There are a million options out there, but I don’t know how to explain it, and people are going to think this sounds really funny, but the latte at Glitch Coffee in Ginza, for whatever reason, a number of people had it and we were all like, “What did they do with this latte?” I don’t know. I don’t know if it was how they blended it.

Kevin Rose: It’s the kind of milk, of course.

Tim Ferriss: Well, no, no, no. That’s the thing though, because we had 20 different lattes, but at Glitch in Ginza specifically, the way that they blended it was โ€” and put the whole thing together was so obscenely good. It is very small. It’s a pain in the ass to wait outside, especially if it’s raining like it was when I was there. But I would highly recommend checking out. But you’re right that Hokkaido milk is famous throughout the world, certainly without all of Asia.

Kevin Rose: It’s just a different thing.

Tim Ferriss: It just tastes so much better than the milk that I’ve had, at least here in the US. And I’ll give one more, which is Sendai Koffee and people can check that out as well. Very cute. Different style. And there I would suggest checking out โ€” they have a few varieties of Colombian coffee. Colombian Quindio, wine yeast, peach infused honey. Now, there’s no sweetener in this, but all of these notes are super, super obvious, this stuff right here. They really know their coffee man. They really do.

Kevin Rose: Have you been to Koffee Mameya out there?

Tim Ferriss: I was going to go to Koffee Mameya, but we did not end up going, so I’ve not been.

Kevin Rose: Okay. Mameya is by far my favorite in Tokyo. It is insanely legit. They have a couple of different locations, but there is one that they have that is they serve the coffee in wine snifters. It’s like $35 a cup and they get the world’s best Geishas in there, and they’re just making this fantastic varietal of coffee. 

Tim Ferriss: Just for clarity, the Geisha is the coffee, not the people.

Kevin Rose: That’s right. Have you tried any of the aged coffees in Tokyo?

Tim Ferriss: I mean, I might have in the course of going to all these different places, but perhaps not Mameya. I wanted to go to check that out. It’s a whole production. If you go to the one location where they give you the omakase, it’s like a whole three-hour commitment. And just at that point in the trip with the amount of time we had, I was like, number one, because tourism has exploded, I mean, I have never seen even a quarter of the number of tourists in Japan that I saw this last trip because the yen is weaker and a lot of people are coming in from all over, not just China, but also Thailand and many other places.

If you want to book a reservation, you need to do it far in advance. For instance, you want to go to Ghibli Museum, you need to book โ€” I used to be able to do that a week or two in advance. Now you got to do it months in advance.

Kevin Rose: Yeah. The last time I was out there, it was just insane how many tourists are coming over, and I saw Craig Mod out there, which is fantastic. He took me to a secret little coffee spot that I don’t want to blow up and ruin by mentioning on your podcast, but it was fantastic. Another one, just Google, L-A-M-B-R-E aged coffee beans Tokyo, and they have coffee beans that they’ve been sitting on for over 20 years. So they’ll serve you coffee beans that are 20 to 30 years old. It’s a different experience altogether when you get these kind of slightly fermented aged coffee beans. This little shop seats, like, eight people, is fantastic. Highly recommend.

Tim Ferriss: So that was my sort of deal with jet lag plus enjoy Japan this time around, which I hadn’t done. I had done a lot of like โ€” well, we experienced it together, sake tastings and things like that. Didn’t want to go the alcohol route. I was very tempted to go to Gen Yamamoto again, who’s incredible.

Kevin Rose: Gen is the best.

Tim Ferriss: But I didn’t want to do the booze, so ended up doing the caffeine route and absolutely loved it. It was also a great way to explore. There’s a place, I want to say โ€” let me look it up. I want to say it might be NEZUCAFร‰, but it does not allow any photographs or social media or laptops, and I just thought that was so fantastic.

Kevin Rose: There’s a handful of those out there. Did you go to Bear Pond Coffee out there at all?

Tim Ferriss: No.

Kevin Rose: That’s a little bit further out. So Bear Pond is amazing. There’s a guy there. He does the angel stain. There’s one cup of coffee he makes like this really highly processed over the top exspresso, not processed, but dense, dense, thick, rich exspresso. And then they have Hokkaido milk there as well. I think it’s some of the best. It’s just unbelievable. But there’s no social media.

Tim Ferriss: Kevin, I have to stage an intervention. If you’re going to be a coffee nerd, you can’t say “exspresso.” You’ve got to say “espresso.”

Kevin Rose: Okay, espresso. Did I say exspresso?

Tim Ferriss: You said it twice, yeah. Okay. All right.

Kevin Rose: Listen, cut that out, fucker.

Tim Ferriss: Look at you. It’s too good. It’s too good.

Kevin Rose: I have these sayings that โ€” Darya always calls me out on where I say things where I think I picked them up from my parents, and there’s like three or four things that are completely not even close to the actual word. It was from my family, my upbringing. I think. Exspresso was one of them.

Tim Ferriss: Well, my mom, her mom, as a joke, would say certain words totally incorrectly. Like instead of horizon, she would say “the hor-eh-zon.” And then my uncle went into school to give a presentation when he was a little kid and he said “hor-eh-zon,” and just got laughed out of class. And then his mom was like, “Oh, yeah, no, that’s totally wrong. I was just kidding.” He was like, “Come on. Come on, Mom.”

Kevin Rose: Well, I’ve got to tell you before we move on, people should know if they don’t get a chance to go out to Taiwan, and something I desperately wanted to do, and I wholeheartedly agree, it seems that sadly tensions are rising. So there is a small window, but a friend that I met in San Francisco, have you ever been to that Red Blossom Tea Company in SF?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Kevin Rose: I think they are the best domestic importer, at least in the United States, of high quality oolong tea. So if you cannot make it out, and I have no affiliation with them at all, but if you can’t make it out to Taiwan, but you want to try some of these teas that Tim is talking about, Red Blossom Tea Company. Just Google them. The website has fantastic oolongs. And they’re reasonably priced. They’re pretty awesome.

Tim Ferriss: And also, just to be clear, guys, this doesn’t need to be expensive. These coffees, you might have to wait a little while, or these teas, but they’re not going to cost, necessarily. If you go to a super fancy place, sure, but 99 percent of what I had is going to cost less than what you had at Starbucks.

Kevin Rose: A hundred percent.

Tim Ferriss: It’s not expensive. It is not outside of reach. All right, man. Where should we move next?

Kevin Rose: Yeah. I mean, I definitely want to cover how you did on that meditation retreat. We can talk about that at some point, but I can also talk about some tech stuff as well.

Tim Ferriss: Why don’t we do a tech debrief and then we can talk about the Zen retreat.

Kevin Rose: Yeah, so the tech debrief, I would say for me, the latest and greatest is that the new WHOOP finally came out, which is this little guy here on my wrist. It’s about, I think 12 percent smaller. Now, I’m Ouraโ€™ed, WHOOPed and Apple Watched up all at the same time. So the WHOOP band, the reason I like it, or I had historically liked it is that it does not have a display on it. And so it’s not competing with your time in any way. You check the stats in the morning or at night or whatever you may be. And they really maximized the hell out of this hardware because they had not updated the device in four years, so it was the same hardware, but they kept doing firmware updates and the heart rate tracking got better. Everything was just continually getting better via these firmware updates.

This is the first new device in four years. This one is called the MG, which stands for medical grade. It does feel a lot smaller, and there’s some new features that I think are worth mentioning that are pretty awesome. Some stuff that the Apple Watch doesn’t do. So this one now has blood pressure monitoring as well. So you calibrate it with your cuff, which I did last night, and then it’s going to give me insights throughout the week. It will give you a range or a score range, so it’s not going to give you exact cuff measurements, but it’ll generally let you know how you’re doing, whether or not you want to pay more attention or not.

So it’s in beta right now, but it seems so far, it seems pretty good and pretty accurate. And granted, I’ve only had this for a few days now. The VO2 max tracking is awesome. The zone training is great. It’s gotten better. They have this feature called WHOOP Age. I think it is pretty cool because basically what it does is it takes a look at a bunch of different metrics across the board. So you can think of this as resting heart rate, sleep quality, heart rate variability, stress levels, which is getting through a couple of different algorithms that they have, your VO2 max, a slew of different things. And it combines them all into this score and it says, “Okay, how do we think you’re doing? Are you at an accelerated aging pace right now? Are you flat or do we think you’re actually below average in that you’re aging slower than most people, which is where you want to be?”

And so they give you this cool little WHOOP age insight, which is fun. I would say out of all the devices that I’ve played with and own, the WHOOP probably is the geekiest of them all. And then it gives you the most data points and the most insights. Now, they have this little AI agent that you can have a conversation with. You can say, “Hey, how did I do yesterday? Is there anything I should be paying attention to?” And it’ll come back and pull from your real-time data that’s on your phone. So I like it. It’s a little bit pricey. But the one I have is 359 a year, and they do have some that are less expensive, but it’s early days.

I’ve only had it for a few days, but it’s something to pay attention to in terms of the wearables out there that track everything as related to all the different metrics that you can pull from.

Tim Ferriss: I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to do this, but I’ve really been increasing the frequency of my Zone 2 training. And the way that I’ve typically calibrated that is with the talk test. Sort of Peter Attia, right? Keeping it simple like you’re on a bike and you could hold a conversation on the phone or with someone in full sentences, but you wouldn’t really want to, right? That’s my understanding of the simple way to measure it.

Now, I’ve talked to other people who are involved with professional cycling teams and they’re like, “Well, actually, you really want to do A, B, C, D and need to calibrate it,” which sounds very complicated, and I’m probably not going to do it. Have you had a chance to compare what the WHOOP says about Zone 2 and something like the talk test to see if they correspond?

Kevin Rose: Yeah, it’s a great question, and I think one that I’m with you and that I want to get more Zone 2, I’m trying to get a half hour in per day at least. Attia really pushes for close to an hour or tries to get to an hour. There’s an equation for this as well, which is age divided by plus. There’s a few of these out there that are like, how do you figure out what Zone 2 is for you?

For me, this one is they’re using their own model, so they have their own model that they kind of give you a range. But one of the things that I do like, because I was messing around with this last night is if you go in and you do a real legit VO2 max test where they’re actually hooking up to the full gear, they’re putting it in the treadmill, you can plug that in and it will feed it into the model, or you can manually define the zones as you see them.

So you can go in there and type in what you want your zones to be, and it will use that versus their own internal tool, which is quite nice. But they’re using some type of model. I’m not sure which one they’re using.

Tim Ferriss: Okay, cool. Maybe I’ll compare them since I’m in Austin, so I have access to the 10-squared facility. I can go in and I did a VO2 max test not too long ago with the whole kit and caboodle, the band mask on and everything, which is very uncomfortable as a first timer. So I’m curious to see what type of acclimating or practice effect there is on my next VO2 max training. Even if my capacity hasn’t increased, do I get better results because I’m just more comfortable with the gear and the settings, and the cycling and so on? We’ll see. We’ll find out. It’s going to be hard to tease that out.

Kevin Rose: The one thing I will say is that there is a great YouTuber that I like called The Quantified Scientist. And what he does is he goes in and he takes every single wearable, at least mainstream wearable that’s out there. He has the hardcore VO2 max devices at his house. He has all the ECG devices that measure sleep. And he’s basically a statistician and comes in and gives you the data that says, “How does this actually compare to the gold standard for these different measurements?” And he has yet to do that on the new WHOOP, but in the Oura Ring and the Apple Watch and the Garmins and everything out there, he’ll actually put on the full VO2 max mask, like you’re saying, and then compare them and say, “This is the closest to the gold standard without having to wear the mask.”

Tim Ferriss: That’s cool. I’m would love to check out.

Kevin Rose: The Quantified Scientist is awesome.

Tim Ferriss: For sleep, I guess it could be any number of things. It might be EEG if we’re talking about brainwaves. The ECG is โ€” 

Kevin Rose: That’s what it is, EEG.

Tim Ferriss: Electrocardiogram. That’s right, yeah.

Kevin Rose: This one does the ECG. If you hold onto the side of it’ll tell me if I have any AFib or anything like that as well on the new WHOOP, which is great.

Tim Ferriss: Okay. All right. I’m literally getting another bike. Well, I shouldn’t say bike. It’s more of an ergometer this week because โ€” I love so much about this company, but the Peloton seat is just completely breaking my cock. It’s so bad. And to retrofit it or to try to modify it is really, really challenging. So I think that in the interest of reproductive health, and I’m not kidding about that, actually, you can do with the wrong seat with cycling, you can actually โ€” 

Kevin Rose: How are you flexing all this?

Tim Ferriss: โ€” do a lot of damage. Well, because of my โ€” 

Kevin Rose: I’m so massive. The seat is just absolutely just destroying my junk.

Tim Ferriss: Well, my elephant trunk, I need to wrap it around this pole in the front to make sure.

Kevin Rose: Just loop it over the front bars. You’ll be fine.

Tim Ferriss: Safety first. But I’m serious that if people are doing a lot of cycling and they’re having any type of sexual dysfunction or reproductive issues, it’s worth taking a look at the seat. This is something that got flagged to me fortunately in advance because I was like, “Huh, as I was doing some of my workouts, I noticed it seemed like almost a tingling or lack of circulation in one of my legs. And I was like, “That can’t be good.” So as it stands, I’ll test the new device before I give it any kind of endorsement, but I’m moving to another ergometer just so I can do that. And have the ability to easily swap seats if need be. So I might have more on that. Should I hop in with some new experiments or at least observations?

Kevin Rose: Yeah. Actually, let me give you one more quick one that I think is going to be fun for people that a physician turned me on to that I have been using now when I travel, which is amazing. So again, no affiliation with any of this stuff, but it was a Stanford scientist that came out with this nasal spray called Profi, P-R-O-F-I, and I bought it on Amazon. And so it’s essentially this spray that, it’s like this hydrogel that goes up into your nasal cavity and you spray one per each side in your nose, and it is like a gel that basically if you just breathe in through your nose when you’re on a flight or you’re traveling or when you’re in a big room of people, it will trap and it holds all of the different viruses and bacteria that you’re inhaling into this gel and destroys them at the gel level.

And people are getting less sick. They’re not picking up the average cold when they’re in big rooms. They did a small study in a hospital setting around COVID. I’ll find it. It wasn’t with this particular brand, but I think it was another generic brand of the same type of gel. And they just showed that there was way โ€” the odds of you getting COVID or the flu were severely reduced for people that were using this gel inside of their nose.

It’s like 15 bucks or something. I was like, “Hell, yes.” And so I picked it up. I’ve been using it when I travel and, knock on wood, I’ve been doing a lot of travel like you. Over the last few weeks, I haven’t got sick at all. It was only when I didn’t do it at home when my kids were sick that I ended up getting a cold. But anyway, it’s pretty awesome. It was developed over at Stanford and I recommend checking it out.

Tim Ferriss: Okay. So we’ll get a link to that. And actually for years now, I don’t know if I ever told you this for at least 10 years when I’m about to go on any extended travel, I will get a saline mist spray from CVS or Walgreens and just simply moisturize or hydrate inside my nasal passages, which seems to make a big difference also for the purposes of just avoiding my nemesis, which is sinus infections. If my nasal passages and my sinuses get dry, I’ve had issues with sinus infections since I was a very, very little kid. And if I’m consistent with this type of nasal spray, it seems to help. So maybe the next step up is the Profi. That’s a hell of a brand name.

Kevin Rose: Exspresso!

Tim Ferriss: Exspresso! I literally saw a sign in a coffee shop in Romania. This was in Brasov, and it said, “Dear Americans, ‘espresso’ does not have an ‘X’ in it.” That’s amazing.

Kevin Rose: I’m not alone. I feel validated now.

Tim Ferriss: No, you’re not alone. You’re not alone. You’re not alone. Kind of makes sense, express. You want to be in the express lane? Exspresso, right?

Kevin Rose: Yeah, exactly. Thank you.

Tim Ferriss: I’ll share a couple of just rapid fire, like, Scooby snacks for people, and then I’ll talk about a recent experiment. So this is another one from Japan, and this is not very expensive, but if you can find it online, you might be able to find it at something like a Nijiya market or a Japanese market of some type. This is a dashi. And it’s got dried bonito and dried anchovies and dried flying fish and sweet kelp, all this stuff. It’s from a place called Okume, which was established in 1871. And you can see here, it’s a little hard to see, but the package basically looks like a tea package. You have these individual sachets that are full of this dashi and you put it into hot water so you can have it like tea in the morning.

Kevin Rose: Oh, I love that.

Tim Ferriss: Without making it a big production. And this is just their classic dashi. They have a million different options, but man, I feel like a dose of dashi and broth a couple times a week does a lot to keep the doctor away. So this is going to be a very easy โ€” I have tea so many times a day already, just to swap in one of these as part of the routine will make it more interesting. And also I think could potentially do some really nice things for health.

There’s a book that I read on my travels have been reading. I’ve read it at least 10 times, and every time I read it, particularly if I’ve taken a break of two or three years where I say to myself, “This is why I need to read the book more often.” And it’s this one. This is Awareness by Anthony de Mello.

Kevin Rose: I love that book. Fantastic book.

Tim Ferriss: It’s such a good book and different things hit you at different times. I started reading this, and we’ll get to it in a second. After our Zen retreat, because it talks about a lot that overlaps, even though Anthony de Mello was largely based, maybe entirely based in India, but he was a Jesuit priest, also a psychotherapist. And the density, I would say, of insights per page on this is just incredible. It’s effectively a cleaned up, organized version of his greatest hits given as lectures.

And it’s very easy to read. It’s very funny. It’s very short. It’s only about 170 pages. And once again, I’m reading it and different things are popping out at different points in life. I actually have multiple hard copies that I’ve highlighted at different points. And the highlights are different things. They’re really different. The passages that resonate at different points in time.

Kevin Rose: Oh, man.

Tim Ferriss: To anybody out there who โ€” and it’s not exclusive to this, but if you suffer from anxiety or depression or if you just feel like you have a little too much edge, you’re running a little fast, you feel a little overcommitted, clogged and stuck at points, whatever it might be, this book is fast-acting medicine. And it’s not a panacea, but it’s really complimentary for almost anything else that you would do to help with the types of symptoms that I just described, which are really symptoms of modern living ultimately, especially for people in urban environments.

And even if you’re not in an urban environment, if you’ve got one of these phones, you are plugged into the anxiosphere, right? It’s like the world of anxiety because that is how you keep clicking, and that is how platforms continue to gather data. They can sell in one form or another. So Anthony de Mello, Awareness, always recommend it. I haven’t read it myself in a while and long overdue, so I did want to mention that.

Kevin Rose: Oh, man, Tim, thank you for reminding me about that book. I don’t want to have to keep coming back to this, but when my house burned down, I lost all my books. And it’s funny, I forgot that that was one of my favorites that I had on my bookshelf there. And like, you, I know you do this as well, there’s three or four books I would buy five copies of. And I’d just leave them at my house because when I have a friend stop by, I’m like, “Oh, I need to give you this book.” There’s ones that you absolutely love so much that you just want to gift out because you just feel like you should give as many people as possible this book. This was one of those books, and I just ordered it on Amazon. It’s 10 bucks on Amazon in the US, and it said, “You first bought this in 2019,” probably via your recommendation, but yeah, fantastic book. Thank you. I just bought mine.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, for sure. Let me give a couple of other quick recommendations for folks. And one is an oldie but goodie, much like Awareness, that I had not seen in probably, I want to say 10 or 15 years now. Who knows? Maybe the brand was different back in the day. 

But as a quick status update on my increasingly eclectic laundry list of injuries, so my right elbow has been a problem for 20-plus years. It started with an accident in jujitsu. My arm got hyperextended, pop, pop. And then over time, I’ve developed these tears in my extensors. So people think of tennis elbow. So if you pull your fingers up on your arm towards your face where you’re looking at your fingernails, let’s just say you’re admiring a nice new manicure that you have โ€” 

Kevin Rose: Like this.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So if you’re just pulling your fingertips back towards your shoulder, you’re using your extensors, and I have tears in both of those. It’s gotten bad enough that I had to stop rock climbing. That was the first indication. When I started to get to, say, five elevens in the gym when you’re crimping and starting to pull the knuckles back, I think I basically grabbed the paper tear and ripped it further. So I’m at a point where I almost certainly need surgery, and I’ve tried everything โ€” 

Kevin Rose: This is your right hand?

Tim Ferriss: This is my dominant side, yeah.

Kevin Rose: Oh, man, that’s extra brutal for you.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, it’s my dominant hand. 

Kevin Rose: Yeah, if you’re going to lose that one, that’s not the one you want to lose.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, so fortunately the surgery is pretty straightforward. I don’t know what you’re thinking about, but โ€” 

Kevin Rose: I am not left-handed either.

Tim Ferriss: The stranger, yeah, don’t underestimate the stranger. Oh, hello. Have you heard it before?

Kevin Rose: Never underestimate.

Tim Ferriss: If you get it, you get it. All right, let’s move on. So I will probably need two to three months of rehab before I’m able to get back to full force. And even now, for instance, using barbells for any kind of weight training creates too much torque and tension at the elbow, and it really ends up being incredibly painful. So I’m using a lot more dumbbells. The reason this is relevant is because of the back injury and the back compression, I don’t really like putting barbells across my shoulders. I won’t get into all the details, but I’m holding dumbbells for extended periods of time, and normally that’s not a problem. But if you’re doing most of your leg workout by holding onto kettlebells or holding onto dumbbells, the first thing that’s going to go is your grip, especially because my right elbow is really compromised right now.

And to use standard basic lifting straps for dumbbells is really challenging. If anyone’s used these, you know what I’m talking about. You wrap the strap around multiple times and to get it into some type of symmetrical position with both hands. So this thing right here is another option, and what I’m holding is called Versa Gripps, V-E-R-S-A Gripps, G-R-I-P-P-S, and it’s a lifting strap, but really all you’re doing is folding it over once and then putting your hand on top of it. So it’s a lifting strap that is much more amenable, much more straightforward to use, pretty much for everything, but particularly for dumbbells, which I’m going to be using not just to train to do prehab, to get myself as strong as possible prior to surgery, but also post-surgery. So I would say if that’s of interest, you can check that out. I’ll give one more rec, and then we can move on.

This is a book that people have almost certainly not seen before. It’s called Everything Is Its Own Reward by Paul Madonna, and it is a book of beautiful architectural drawings. You might think to yourself, “Boring.” Most of it is in the San Francisco area or San Francisco Bay area, but it’s the philosophical musings and the writing that Paul has in this book that is so deeply fascinating and weird and thought-stirring to me. And I came across this the first time in a hotel in the Bay Area. I was just sitting in a coffee shop, and I was killing time before doing something. I picked it up, and I ended up sitting there and reading it for about two hours. I completely forgot to have dinner.

And I’ve once again, much like the 32 Sounds documentary, never quite come across a book like this. It is so strange, and I feel like the combination of 32 Sounds, Awareness, and this very, very weird, often funny, often profound Everything Is Its Own Reward by Paul Madonna, which is definitely going to sell out on Amazon, so the race goes to the swift, create almost an extended psychedelic experience in the sense that things that you’re accustomed to seeing, things that you think or do or hear on autopilot most of the time, because that’s the only way you can survive is to have most things on autopilot, you see afresh as if you’re encountering them for the first time after taking in a diet, it doesn’t have to be very long, even for a day or two with some of these different books and documentaries and so on.

And so it’s really just, I don’t use this word lightly, it’s more of a metaphor, but seeing the miracle in the everyday. And it makes me think of some people who are really creative, who seem to have one foot in that zone all the time. 

For instance, I was watching an NHK, which is the BBC in Japan, a miniseries on the creative process of Hayao Miyazaki, who’s the founder of Studio Ghibli, which has made pretty much every Japanese animated film most people have heard of. So My Neighbor Totoro, Spirited Away, Ponyo, etc, etc. He’s sometimes called the Disney of Japan, which is a description he does not like because he says, “Walt Disney was a businessman. I’m just a director.” Just a director, very Japanese.

But in one of the episodes talking about his creative process, he takes a video camera, this is an older docuseries, and tapes it, affixes it to the headrest of his driver’s seat in his car because he says, “I want to see what I’m seeing because effectively there’s magic hiding in the ordinary.” He’s like, “That’s what you want to find.” And I feel like all of these tools help you to do that, which for me is deeply therapeutic, beautiful, stress-relieving in ways that are hard for me to put words to, but you don’t need drugs to get there. These are all things that can help recalibrate you just a few degrees to change your waking experience in that way.

Kevin Rose: Tim, one other thing I’ll say is that you had mentioned a book that immediately sold out before called The Well of Being several episodes ago, and I’m actually re-buying it right now because it’s back in stock. I just want to let people know that it is now back in stock because it was going for several hundred dollars a copy after you mentioned it and it sold out. So now it’s back for $35 again, but that’s still one of your favorites, yeah?

Tim Ferriss: It’s a great book. It’s outstanding. Yeah, that’s the children’s book for adults. Yeah. That is an outstanding book.

Kevin Rose: I’m picking that up again as well. 

Tim Ferriss: And the book you mentioned and the book that I just mentioned are books that you really want in hardcover, if you can get them. That’s the intended medium for these two books, for sure.

Kevin Rose: One thing I’ll mention as a quick throw out there, not everyone can travel to Japan. We get that. There are lots of artisanal Japanese goods that are absolutely phenomenal. A lot of websites that import do so with a very limited supply, and then also they mark them up like crazy. So you’ll find some of these shops here, especially in L.A., there’s some of these shops you go to and it’s just things are just outrageously priced. One place I have found that I really like that, yes, it is a little premium, but I would say is one of the best curators of fine Japanese goods is a friend of mine turned me on to this, it’s called pojstudio.com.

Tim Ferriss: P-O-J.

Kevin Rose: You’ve got to check this out. I think you’ll really like it. So if you go to Poj Studio and then click on shop at the top there and just go bestsellers, shop all, or whatever, and then look at some of these pieces. It’s everything from high-end Japanese towels to incense to these beautiful tie-dyed door dividers, the hanging things.

Tim Ferriss: What was the name of the URL again or how do you spell it?

Kevin Rose: It’s pojstudio.com.

Tim Ferriss: studio.com.

Tim Ferriss: They’ve got all sorts of beautiful stuff.

Kevin Rose: Absolutely stunning, imported Japanese, small production, artisan stuff from little tiny trays and containers to room dividers to throw pillows to you-name-it. If you like that vibe, oh, they have these beautiful hand-hammered little singing bowls that you can use for meditation. I got their Japanese Hinoki wood incense, which smells amazing. Anyway, I think this is one of the best importers of small artisan Japanese goods that’s out there, so I highly recommend checking it out.

Tim Ferriss: Also, if you want to go low-end or mid-tier, I mentioned Nijiya Market. They only have 12 stores across the US, mostly in California and Hawaii. But you can find Japanese markets, and you can also find, broadly speaking, East Asian markets. If you find East Asian markets, whether that’s Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean, fill in the blank, chances are they’re going to have a lot of Japanese goods. And also they will have plenty of good stuff from their primary country in the sense that if it’s Chinese-owned, let’s just say China, if it’s Vietnamese-owned, although I would put them in the Southeast Asian, I guess, category, but Korean, etc. You can just find some amazing, amazing, amazing teas, as an example, because culturally, that is such a part of the lived experience of those places.

Try it out, walk through, pick up something you can’t read, make sure it doesn’t have any allergens that are going to kill you, and then give it a shot. 

All right. So let’s talk about the Zen retreat in a second. I will tell you one interesting hypothesis that I have related to something we’ve discussed once before, which is accelerated TMS, so the compressed administration of basically a magnetic coil. Oh, you bastard. There’s a squirrel on my squirrel-proof bird feeder just trying to go to town right now. You rat bastard. I don’t think he’s going to succeed. Oh, he is. Oh, you bastard. Squirrel proof, my ass.

Kevin Rose: Wait, pan over. I’ve got to see this. Can you pan the camera?

Tim Ferriss: It’s not going to work. I’ll knock all shit my over. Oh, you bastard. I think he’s been โ€” no, no, no, he’s really getting in there. All right, so I got distracted. Apparently accelerated TMS doesn’t help with that kind of distraction. I’ve just never actually seen my bird feeder getting pillaged so badly as it is right now by this squirrel. Nice work, squirrel.

Kevin Rose: I love this version of Tim. It’s bird feeding, hummingbird feeders, little anti-squirrel devices.

Tim Ferriss: He just got sent for a whirligig spin though, so there’s something.

Kevin Rose: You need to get a webcam out there, right?

Tim Ferriss: I do. Only squirrels. All right, accelerated TMS. I feel like the dog in Up. “Squirrel!”

Kevin Rose: Exactly. Squirrel.

Tim Ferriss: So the accelerated TMS, for people who are interested in learning more about this, I recommend listening to my podcast with Nolan Williams, who’s a scientist out of Stanford who’s the head of their brain stimulation lab. But effectively different types of brain stimulation, in this case, transcranial magnetic stimulation, particularly when applied in this condensed format, in this case it’s 50 sessions of brain stimulation, they’re about nine minutes long each. You’re doing 50 sessions in five days, so you’re doing 10 hours a day. Every hour on the hour you’re having this brain stimulation.

And in my case, it’s for an anxiosomatic target. That just means it’s effectively to reduce symptoms of OCD, compulsive rumination. I don’t wash my hands or flip the light switches, and not to judge anyone who does, but it’s like my form of OCD which I’ve been diagnosed with, and it’s not surprising at all, is this repetitive perseveration, a loop of thoughts that even though I’m aware it’s unproductive, even though I’m aware it’s unpleasant, I feel powerless to stop.

That type of perseverating, which then, of course, engenders anxiety and sometimes insomnia, etc. Of all of the things I’ve tried, and you and I spoke about this, when I did my first five-day sequence of accelerated TMS, bizarrely there was a two-week delayed onset. Nothing really seemed to happen for about two weeks. And then boom, for three to four weeks, I had, let’s just call it complete remission of symptoms. All of that stuff just went away, and nothing has approached that in terms of amplitude and especially durability of effect, and that includes psychedelic therapies. But what’s interesting about this is after that five-day treatment, I went back and I did a single-day booster, which did nothing. And then I did a three-day booster, which also did nothing. Now, I’m not sure if I’ve talked about this publicly. Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t. Part of the reason I wanted to do lower dosing was after my first five-day sequence, I remember after a week or so I was like, “Hey, doc, I can’t seem to ejaculate. Is that a known problem?”

Kevin Rose: Oh, shit.

Tim Ferriss: And needless to say, that did not help my anxiety.

Kevin Rose: You could still get the timber, you just couldn’t get the output.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I couldn’t get the output. And then the doctor was like, “Oh, interesting. We haven’t seen that because this is still a very new treatment,” and particularly for anxiety and OCD, the depression has been much better studied. But he said, “It kind of makes sense if we’re whacking down your sympathetic response.” And he’s like, “There’s this mnemonic in medical school, which is point and shoot, meaning parasympathetic to get the erection, and then sympathetic to have the ejaculation, to have the orgasm.” And he’s like, “It makes sense.” And I was like, “Okay, and is this fixable, or am I totally screwed forever?” And he’s like, “No, it should just return to baseline.” And it did.

I have an addendum to that though. So I wanted to use lower dosing to avoid that. One day did nothing. Three days did nothing also. And then I was like, “What the hell is going on? I guess I can do five days.” You get nothing done for five days. You’re getting your brain zapped every hour, and it basically feels like you did an all-nighter for the LSATs 10 times a day. You get very, very tired.

Kevin Rose: When you say zapped, does it hurt?

Tim Ferriss: It doesn’t hurt at all. It feels like somebody lightly flicking the side of your head. It doesn’t hurt. So basically for nine minutes, it’s like there’s nothing, and then it’s like bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. And then there’s a pause for, I’m just making this up, let’s just call it, I don’t know, 10 seconds, 15 seconds. Then bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. And it’s a paddle that’s pushed against your head. That’s it. I don’t find it painful at all. This is with a MagVenture or MagVentures device. There are other devices that can have different types of effects, which have different types of helmets and caps that are used and so on. It doesn’t hurt in this particular case.

So then I was chatting with the doctor before planning another round. And he was like, “Well, it is pretty strange that three days did nothing.” And I was like, “Okay.” And we were trying to brainstorm strategy. And what I did is I went back in my calendar and looked at the preceding few weeks before every one of these treatments. And for the first treatment, the five-day treatment, I had had some psychedelic exposure. And I was like, interesting, because I’ve long assumed that there could be some type of synergistic effect with these two things. And there are people who are looking at this very closely right now.

So this time around ,the hypothesis is that actually the improved neuroplasticity, and who knows, maybe it’s even anti-inflammatory effects, could be a million different things, from the psychedelic exposure worked synergistically with the five-day accelerated TMS to produce the effect that I then witnessed and experienced, which was incredible. If I could figure out how to replicate that, then I would do it, let’s just call it once a quarter, once every four months, something like that. Why wouldn’t I do it? And I will say that it took the edge off, and by that I mean I was less motivated to do a lot of types of work, maybe from tampening down the sympathetic nervous system. But what I found for myself was number one, at this point in my life, totally fine with it. And number two, I actually think it made me better at picking my targets and not doing work for the sake of movement.

Because I didn’t have the underlying anxiety that perhaps I was subconsciously coping with by some type of frenetic activity or overcommitting to phone calls or work or creative projects or exercise or who knows what it was. So that extra space that was created by not having as much compulsive behavior across the board, I would say, is no discernible decrease over, say, three to four months in my creative output. Totally happy with it. And so I’m very curious to see how accelerated TMS ends up being enabled or disabled, and I think it might depend on the dose, with different types of pharmaceuticals. And there’s one that’s been studied called sertraline with an S, S-E-R-T-R-A-L-I-N-E. People can find studies related to this. So that’s something I’m going to be watching very closely. Now I have an update, because I know you want to know about my ejaculation, Kevin. 

Kevin Rose: Always. It’s my first thing I ask you whenever we talk.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, exactly. I don’t think it was the TMS. So I actually had a theory that I tested, and it’s N of one, so take it with a huge grain of salt, but I thought it might be the trazodone, which some people use for sleep. And it’s interesting for sleep because it doesn’t seem to disrupt sleep architecture as much as other drugs. However, one of the less common but known side effects can be delayed ejaculation. And I was like, interesting. Well, let me take that off the table. And I did take it off the table, and lo and behold, no issues. So โ€” 

Kevin Rose: Back to two minutes.

Tim Ferriss: Back to two minutes! 

Kevin Rose: Boom.

Tim Ferriss: “Oh God, this never happens, I swear.”

Kevin Rose: “We normally have trazodone for this but ahhhhh!”

Tim Ferriss: But I thought that might be, if people are taking sleep medications, you can end up treating the wrong thing very easily or pulling levers for getting about certain medications that you’re using, where you haven’t taken a moment to look at side effects that are less commonly reported, but nonetheless, statistically significant. So not saying that was definitively the cause because I couldn’t prove that, but so far, so good, I guess.

Kevin Rose: So after these treatments, or the ones that were successful, was there anything else that was a positive? Were you sleeping better at night, or no?

Tim Ferriss: Well, for the three to four months that I mentioned, for sure, my sleep was so much better. Now is that because my rumination is less? Is it because I have maybe someone taking a Mounjaro or something, less compulsive behavior across the board, so I’m not drinking as much caffeine as like a fixation? Maybe, I don’t know. But I did sleep much, much better, and the quality of life difference before and after was hard to overstate. It’s really, really incredible.

I will say this time around, just like the first round of five days, if you were to ask me right now what difference has it made, I would say it hasn’t made a fucking one iota of difference. I happen to be in the middle of a bunch of very stressful things related to family health emergencies and various other time-sensitive situations that I think would contribute to almost anyone feeling quite anxious. But I am patient this time around because there was the delayed onset. And if it takes two weeks, it takes two weeks, so I’m just going to cross my fingers, not drink. That’s a big part of the not drinking, also, was preparing for that.

And then afterwards wanting to ensure that I’m giving my brain the best chance possible to adapt in the way that I wanted to adapt. So leaving out as many neurotoxins as possible seems like a good standard operating procedure, at least for the next little while. And we’ll see, man, fingers crossed. But I remain very, very bullish on this technology. I really feel like for people who fit criteria that would exclude them from psychedelic-assisted therapies, let’s say people with a history of schizophrenia or family history of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, this treatment could be very, very interesting in addition to maybe especially combining it with some type of metabolic psychiatry, which I had Chris Palmer from Harvard on to talk about a while back. So use of whether it’s ketogenic diet, exogenous ketones, maybe some combination. I think there’s a lot of promise. I think there’s a lot of promise. 

Kevin Rose: That’s awesome.

Tim Ferriss: That’s where the foundation is going to be spending more time also, in addition to the psychedelic stuff.

Kevin Rose: I’m curious, when you think about how these are obviously very expensive treatments, and you can’t find them in every city. Are you seeing any application of this technology at the consumer level that you have tried or you’ve heard good things about? I know it’s not the same, but Matt Walker, you’ve had him on your podcast, the sleep scientist that ran the Berkeley Sleep Lab, he had a device called Somnee, which I haven’t tried, which does transcranial electric stimulation 15 minutes before you go to bed, it’s supposed to increase your deep sleep. So he’s involved in that product. So I’m seeing more of these consumer brain stimulation devices pop up in the market. Anything worth playing with here, or is that just all not proven out yet?

Tim Ferriss: Not ready for prime time? Yeah, I can’t speak to Somnee. Definitely people, if they’re interested in unpacking sleep, Why We Sleep, I believe, is the title of Matt’s book, and then โ€” 

Kevin Rose: It’ll scare the shit out of you.

Tim Ferriss: It’ll scare the shit out of you in, I think, a productive way, and then he and I spoke on the podcast about things he might add to that or modify, update, etc. The consumer grade, it’s timely that you should ask me that. So right before recording this podcast, I actually had an investor deck presentation with a company that is working on something, so you and I should talk about that separately. I think it’s very interesting. As a category, it is incredibly hard to make work both as a technology, just scientifically. To show compelling cause and effect I think is very difficult in this category.

And from a business perspective, there are a number of different reasons that it can be very, very challenging. But I do think there might be some interesting tools on the horizon. What I will say is, as a general rule of thumb, and I can’t speak to Somnee, and Matt Walker is a credible scientist, so let’s exclude Somnee from what I’m going to say, but almost every at-home brain stimulation device, or let’s just for simplicity’s sake call it brain stimulation device, I’ve seen is that best a scam. And at worst could do a fair amount of damage. These tools, if they’re used incorrectly, TMS, let’s just say, transcranial magnetic stimulation, if used incorrectly, can actually worsen, so exacerbate the conditions that you’re trying to treat. So you see people online, you see people on YouTube or on Reddit who are just going nuts.

Kevin Rose: Oh, with burn marks and shit too. They get burns.

Tim Ferriss: Just DIYing this stuff, I would strongly advise against that. The brain is really, really, really sensitive. You don’t want to fuck with it without some real bonafide creds behind the device and instructions. So I would encourage people to, as a general rule, steer clear of anything that is being sold direct to consumer. I’m sure there are some exceptions, but I would say, for the most part, this is not across the board, but for the most part, you’re dealing with fly-by-night operations, and you should not trust the integrity of your brain to these devices. I’m sure there are exceptions, but just as a general rule, I would say that.

Separately, I would say that, for instance, the therapy that I just paid for is very expensive, because insurance doesn’t currently cover accelerated TMS, or at least I’m not aware of insurance that will cover accelerated TMS. But I was texting with a friend of mine who is seeing very good results for her PTSD, and it gets to the comorbid with depression and other things, so it’s hard to untangle all of that. But she is doing TMS conventionally, which is less frequent, and her insurance is covering it. So I would say I’m optimistic that there is a future where insurance, at least some insurance carriers, will cover accelerated TMS, particularly when the hopefully cost benefit is really made incredibly clear through patient results.

Because some of the stuff you see is incredible, like 70 percent plus remission of treatment-resistant depression after a week of treatment. These are the types of results that rival or exceed some of these psychedelic-assisted therapies. And when we’re talking about these intractable or very difficult-to-treat psychiatric conditions, these outcomes are really, really notable. The datasets are super small for a lot of the applications of accelerated TMS, but I’m supporting that through the foundation scientifically because I do feel like a lot of the issues we’re facing we’re facing because of effectively modern civilization, and I don’t foresee it getting any easier. So I do think it’s important to try to support these technologies and interventions, so that hopefully they can reach some level of scale. And I am skeptical that taking people for a six-hour ride on a mind-bending psychedelic that takes them to the 17th dimension is scalable. I’m not even convinced that it’s a good idea to do that with incredibly large numbers of patients. So that’s yet another layer of why I am really supporting some of these other technologies.

Kevin Rose: It’s super exciting. I think we’re about to enter into a golden age of tech meets life sciences and see a whole slew of different compounds and therapeutics that are just going to change the way that we live over the next five years. I didn’t tell you this, but I did my whole genome sequencing, so not the 23andMe, but I did the whole thing. You spend, I think it’s about $700 now to get your full genome done. 

Tim Ferriss: It’s incredible how cheap it’s become, huh? Isn’t that nuts?

Kevin Rose: It’s crazy. 

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, compared to back in the day.

Kevin Rose: Yeah, back in the day, it was insane. It was $20,000 or more or something just a few years ago or something crazy. That was even if it was available, if you could find it. Yeah, right, it was really hard to even get someone to do it. But anyway, long story short, I have had the most stubborn homocysteine, which is a biomarker that it’s not known to be causal, but it is oftentimes correlated with many different types of cancers and mainly heart disease. And even with multiple physicians helping me out, I have never been able to get it back to healthy levels. So I took my whole genome, dumped it into AI, and we worked out a playbook together on where we could find methyl donors to and which methylated B vitamins I could give to help fix the broken cycle. Because I have the MTHFR genetic mutation. It’s a very fancy way of saying one biomarker completely jacked up. My dad died of heart disease. I don’t want to die of heart disease. How can we fix this shit?

So we worked through a way for me to supplement and start adding on supplements. I’m eight weeks in, and for the first time, my homocysteine is at normal levels after many years of trying to figure this out. And I was working through this process in tandem with my AI, which was crazy. And it ended up being NAC was the thing that we had to add to the mix as a methyl donor to get it to work and hack around my MTHFR mutation. 

Tim Ferriss: Do you think any of that change in homocysteine could be a response to the cessation of drinking in the last whatever it is? 27 days?

Kevin Rose: Yeah, I’ve done drinking, bouts of not drinking before and tested and still completely elevated. So, it had nothing to do with drinking. I thought the same thing. But yeah, because the only thing I changed that I’ve added on now is, well, we slowly started adding on different methylated B vitamins, but it was the NAC that was the methyl donor that got me over the hurdle here and dropped it down dramatically. 

So I’m way in the healthy zone now, which is not, my physician is like, “What the hell did you do?” And I’m like, “Talking to AI.” But I’m just saying, this is one of many things. We will have an announcement next time we do a podcast together, where I just put 15 million into a protein, this novel protein coming out of the UCSF that is doing wonders around dementia and Alzheimer’s. I did this via True Ventures, where I’m a partner over there. And so I joined the board of this company and we’ve got some really interesting data coming out of that. It’s just a very fun time to be alive at the intersection of AI and life sciences.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, it is. And just for reference, so Craig Venter, back in the day, his personal genome sequencing, that was in 2007. And people can do more homework on this, but that cost 10 million, estimated to have cost 10 million.

Kevin Rose: Wow.

Tim Ferriss: And you just look at where we are now, and you can imagine moving forward, and actually, this ties into my visit to the UAE and to Abu Dhabi specifically because what they can do and what they are doing with AI absolutely blew my mind. They have, number one, I think it’s 70 percent of government services are administered through an app on smartphones and there are AI assistance that people interact with. So, for instance, if you’re driving, you want to report a pothole, you just take a photograph of it, it geotags it, deals with it, gets it to the right agency, and then off you go. And I suppose looking down the pike also with genomics, I think they’re going to be a global leader in genomics because of just how much data they have, not only from a full genome perspective, but from a behavioral perspective and centralized electronic medical record perspective. Actually very, very interested to see what they do specifically with life sciences and AI because this intersection is going to be so fertile. It’s just unreal, if you look at AlphaFold and what AlphaFold has done. 

Kevin Rose: Yes. The new AlphaFold’s amazing.

Tim Ferriss: We’re looking at eclipsing decades of human work in incredibly short periods of time.

Kevin Rose: So, have you done your full genome yet, Tim?

Tim Ferriss: I did my full genome a million years ago with a startup that effectively went out of business. So, I should probably do it again just to boot that back up. I did delete all my data on 23andMe, because I was panicked that they would get bought by someone. 

Kevin Rose: Which they did. Just got announced.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. So, I was able to delete mine just in the nick of time, but I saw a demo, this was years ago, of a company taking genome data and with a sufficiently large data set, creating basically like a suspect sketch of the person’s face based on their genome data. If they have photographs from multiple angles of these people, because this is what one of these companies was doing, and they have the full genome sequenced and who knows, maybe this is science fiction, they are peddling โ€” 

Kevin Rose: This is crazy.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” something in the future. But I guess what I’m saying is I don’t think you can anonymize your genetic data in the way that we would hope to be able to anonymize it.

Kevin Rose: Do you care though?

Tim Ferriss: Do I care?

Kevin Rose: Are they really going to clone me? Are they going to clone you? They might make your Peloton seat fit better if they have the full picture, but outside of that, what are they going to do with it?

Tim Ferriss: Well, I run more on the hypervigilant side than you do, right?

Kevin Rose: Yeah, I know you do.

Tim Ferriss: I would say, for me, it’s not a question of why do you care? It’s a question of what are the reasons to not have a tighter hold on it? And if there are secure ways to share it, I’m all for it. But for instance, the 23andMe thing, I’m not the only person who deleted their data for sure. And I suppose my feeling is we don’t know what we don’t know. I don’t know how this data might be used. I really have no idea. So, I would prefer to have as much control of it as possible. And also, way back in 2010 when I was writing The 4-Hour Body, I guess it came out in 2010, so I was writing it prior to that, and I’m not sure if this conversation happened shortly thereafter, but it was with a very credible scientist who is at NASA at the time working on all sorts of advanced like physics and chemistry and so on, and he was commenting on the fact that it was very foolish for very well-known billionaire at the time to release their full genome data.

And he said, because if you wanted to develop a customized biological weapon to say, walk up to that person in a crowd and blow powder into their face at TED or wherever, he’s like, you could do that very, very easily. He’s like, it’s actually not hard to design something like that. So I was like, “Well โ€” “

Kevin Rose: Okay, now, you’re freaking me out. That is โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. And I also don’t have the technical chops to call bullshit on something like that, but it didn’t seem, this guy didn’t have a tinfoil hat. He had a real job. He was producing really good work, he was published, and that conversation stuck with me. That was around 2010.

Kevin Rose: Think about this. If I have the resources and the power to build a custom gene killing Tim Ferriss powder agent, I’m pretty sure I can hire someone just to walk up and shoot you. You have the resources. You really don’t need to go that far to take somebody out with a custom โ€” 

Or you know what, the phlebotomist that leaves your house, I can just pay them for a little dip of your juice and go get it tested, right?

Tim Ferriss: There are ways to do that, but I guess what I’m saying is, within 12 months, we’re going to have LLMs that are capable โ€” hopefully, they have the safeguards in place โ€” of enabling your average Joe or Jane to create biological weapons from household items. So I’m just saying I’d prefer not to tempt fate as a public figure by keeping the reins too loose on that stuff.

Kevin Rose: Do you remember that LifeLock guy? You remember that company LifeLock that he โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: I do, yeah.

Kevin Rose: โ€” put Social Security number on a thing and he’s like, “I’m totally secure.” And then he got all hacked and everything. Identity stolen and all this shit.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, oops.

Kevin Rose: Amazing.

Tim Ferriss: Oops. And I will also say that something happened to me a couple of weeks ago that is the flip side of the Cambrian explosion of discovery with the intersection of healthcare and AI. I really am not sure how humans cope with this, but in a post-fact world where what you don’t touch and see with your own eyes in person is going to be a huge question mark and the reason I say that is a few weeks ago, I started getting all of these DMs and texts and so on saying, “Hey, is this you?” I was like, “Hey, is what me?” And I clicked through and there was a video of me selling or saying, “Sign up for X, Y, or Z, and I’ll tell you the three stocks that are underpriced right now that’ll make you rich.” Basically, something like that.

Kevin Rose: Your side hustle.

Tim Ferriss: My side hustle, yeah. The video I will say was like 90 percent indistinguishable from me. The background, clothing, facial hair, everything was dialed. There were just a couple of Max Headroom movements for people who get the reference, a couple of little glitches that raise questions, but in 12 months, that’s not going to be there. And I’m not sure, for instance, from a societal perspective, or let’s just say from a personal perspective, how will people know what is real Kevin versus fake Kevin. 

Do you have to train your whole audience to understand private and public keys? What do you actually do?

Kevin Rose: Dude, this is top of mind for me right now in a way that you would never believe. Yes. I’m working on this exact problem. So, Alexis, the co-founder of Reddit, and I, we mentioned this, we bought Digg back and we’re bringing back a, going to build a social platform for people to converse about a variety of different topics. And top of mind is that in an agentic world, where AI agents can be spun up for pennies because the cost is going to zero and they can have conversations with you, they can convince you of things, they can do all these different, both good and bad things, how are you going to know what’s real? Just as a test, what I did recently is I took a model, I picked a pair of $6 headphones on Amazon and I got all the details about the Amazon and I said, “Sell this to me as if they will outcompete and outperform a $500 pair of headphones.”

And it wrote this really detailed report about the craftsmanship and how they were able to get this in for only $5 and it was super compelling and convincing, and I was like, it’s game over. Anything we read online can no longer be trusted. And so there is a handful of people right now working on this exact problem, and we’re trying to figure out how we can know both who guarantee that there’s a human on the other end of the keyboard, number one. And number two, when you go out and you talk about something with authority, how can we have โ€” and prove โ€” that you actually have wisdom or authority that passes through to what you’re talking about. So, for example, I don’t want to get too geeky, but for example, and to your point about this needs to be something average consumers can understand versus private and public keys and everything else, but I’ve owned an Oura Ring for, let’s call it five years now.

Now, I could go on any forum online and say, “Hey, I love my Oura Ring. I’ve owned it for five years.” Now, that could be an LLM that’s providing you complete bullshit, or it can be actually someone that’s owned an Oura Ring for five years. There are technologies out there, they’re really geeky. They’re called ZK proofs that can go out and they can work with service providers and say, we can guarantee with an algorithm and create a proof that this person is doing and saying what they said, what they’re claiming to say, which is that I’ve actually had a paying subscription for the last five years and we’re going to need to have these proofs. A cheap way of thinking this is like sometimes, you see these trust pilot scores or whatever, or the Better Business Bureau scores or there’s going to need to be that around everything that we talk about online.

So, including a Tim Ferriss verifiable checkbox that when I click on it, it will say, “This was produced, created, published, and proven that it came directly from Tim Ferriss’ lips and not some AI-generated world.” That has to exist. Otherwise, everything is lost online.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, well, keep up the hard work, folks working on that problem.

Kevin Rose: I literally, I spent a half day over at World, which is Sam Altman’s other startup around proving humanhood or proving humanness. And the way they do it is they actually scan your eyeball and I had my eyeball scanned and now, I have an ID, a World ID that is proof that I am that human and they don’t own that. They don’t have a copy of that. It lives on my device and it’s sharded and kept separate, so it only can be reconstructed by me. But we’re entering into this really weird time, where there is a trade-off between privacy and proving that it’s me and ah, it’s going to be messy for a few years.

Tim Ferriss: For a few years. Yeah, it’s going to be messy for a few hundred years. It’s bad. Sounds like Minority Report, the eye scans. Yeah. It has to be something like that.

Kevin Rose: I’ve got a buddy right now that is a hardcore technologist that looks at these things and studies these things, and he claims right now, he believes that 30 percent of the Internet’s traffic, whether it be people writing back to you on Twitter or any of these social numbers, he thinks it’s all bots at this point, and he has proof of some of them that will friend you up, create long-term relationships with you, only to convince you of that one thing that they were trying to do that they spent six months building up rapport with you. And it’s all BS, dude. It’s all for pennies. It’s crazy.

Tim Ferriss: Have you seen โ€” great movie โ€” Ex Machina?

Kevin Rose: Oh, of course. Fantastically.

Tim Ferriss: So good. It’s so scary.

Kevin Rose: We’ve got to go revisit that. We also need to watch Her again. I haven’t watched Her โ€” that’d be another one to watch again.

Tim Ferriss: Watching Her, I remember watching that and feeling like it was further off than it actually is right now. I’m just realizing like it’s basically here.

Kevin Rose: Right.

Tim Ferriss: It’s basically right now.

Kevin Rose: Yeah. Did you see that lawsuit that basically there was a bunch of guys that got together and did this lawsuit against OnlyFans saying that they sued the platform because they found out that they were just talking to bots and not the actual models themselves? Did you see this?

Tim Ferriss: No.

Kevin Rose: So, they’re suing these creators.

Tim Ferriss: How much are you going to make from that, Kevin? 27 bucks?

Kevin Rose: Yeah, exactly. Here’s the best part. The number one upvoted comment on that was like, “You were talking to models โ€” you were just talking to large language models.” So true.

Tim Ferriss: Oh, man. Yeah. Well, here goes nothing, right? This is like the click, click, click going up on the roller coaster.

Kevin Rose: I know.

Tim Ferriss: And it’s like, here we go. And I came back from my travels realizing, wow, I really think it will behoove me to just take a few weeks to a month and do a very deep dive on what I can do with these models. Because a lot of what I saw traveling and just how prescient and invested and advanced certain places are, like Abu Dhabi as an example, I was like, holy shit, from a geopolitical perspective, this is going to be the haves and the have-nots, right?

Kevin Rose: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: And it’s like, okay, I guess I’ll keep brushing up on my archery skills. It’s why I need to the elbow surgery sooner rather than later.

Kevin Rose: Yeah. Well, real quick, before we wrap, dude, let’s touch on the meditation thing because that is what I need more of, which is getting off the computer and actually disconnecting. You want to talk about your experience? 

Tim Ferriss: Let’s talk about it. Let me give a quick update before we do that, like a commercial break, which is this guy. So, you remember this guy, Coyote, the game that we talked about?

Kevin Rose: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: It hadn’t launched last time we were talking, or maybe it had just launched now. So, this game Coyote, which is like rock-paper-scissors on steroids in a group dynamic where you can help or sabotage other players. The game has become one of the top-selling games at Walmart where it is exclusively for a couple months. It’s been one of the absolute top sellers. It has produced โ€” two or three of the videos of gameplay have become the most popular videos of all time from Exploding Kittens, which is the company I partnered with.

Kevin Rose: Oh, my God. That’s amazing.

Tim Ferriss: Tens of millions of views of gameplay. So it’s all to say it’s going super, super well, and there’s a lot more that I’m going to explore with this over the next couple months. But so far, including people with younger kids, they’ve modified the rules a little bit. But I have friends who played, Hutchins, our friend, Chris Hutchins played with his four- or five-year-old, I want to say. He sent me a testimonial video from her, not for public use, but she was a big fan. So, you can play with younger kids and I would just say couldn’t be happier with how it’s turned out. So, many thanks to Elan Lee and the whole Exploding Kittens team for going on this two-year journey of working on this thing together. So, if people want to check that out, tim.blog/coyote and you can find the game at pretty much any Walmart or order it online. Easy to find.

Kevin Rose: That’s awesome. Thanks for giving it out to everyone that came out to the live Diggnation at South By. That was awesome for you to do.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, those are the first people to ever get their hands on one. My pleasure. Okay, Zen, getting offline.

Kevin Rose: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: You want to kick us off? Tell us what it looked like. What was the format?

Kevin Rose: So, if you do a classic Zen retreat, at least in this lineage of Zen called Sanbo Zen, which is the lineage that Henry Shukman teaches, you’re in for it. You’re in for a little bit of an ass-kicking in that you get up at the crack of dawn and you sit and then you sit some more and you do a tiny little walk, and then you sit some more and then you have some mush in a bowl and then you sit some more. And you do that until about 8:00 p.m. at night and you do it all over again, completely silent, for five to seven days. I’ve done a couple of these five and seven dayers. They’re no joke. They’re meant to be slightly demoralizing/brutal. They’re truly designed to break you down in a good way, break down the ego, break down your willingness to live.

They’re pretty hardcore, but you’re working on Zen koans, so you’re trying to crack a koan. Tim has a great interview with Henry Shukman on his podcast. Check it out, all about koans. But anyway, long story short, this was not that. We said, hey, if we get together a small group of people, we can talk at night, have some dinners, really intimate, call it seven, eight people, small, and get Henry and Valerie, which are both Zen masters, to come in and instruct us during the day. No early call times. I think we got there around 9:00-ish.

Tim Ferriss: That’s perfect.

Kevin Rose: Which was perfect. Got that morning coffee in ahead of time and had a great lunch and then the afternoon sit, and then we all went to a dinner at night. So, did that for what was it? Three days. And it was fantastic. I loved it, but I’d love to hear what you got out of it.

Tim Ferriss: I got a lot out of it, and I think one upfront benefit was it was a very warm bath reentry to meditation retreat.

Kevin Rose: You had a tough go, your first one, right?

Tim Ferriss: So, for people who want to deep dive into what happened in my first extended Vipassana silent retreat, which I made a lot harder by fasting for a very extended period of time, and then also adding microdosing, neither of which I recommend, if it’s your maiden voyage, they can listen to my interview with Willoughby B. Britton, B-R-I-T-T-O-N, on some of the occasional adverse events with meditation, which are very, very similar to those of psychedelics actually. So, if you want to check that out, you can check that out. I also did a conversation with Dan Harris of 10% Happier, where we got into this in some length. But putting that aside, because the end result was basically complete nervous breakdown, getting back on the horse and doing it in this way was very much a form of recovery for me.

Getting back to a point where I feel like there are forms of meditation I can engage with, specifically extended meditation that don’t necessarily run the risk of the types of issues that I ran into on my first silent retreat, which by the way, I’ve spent, let’s just say a week in various jungles or mountains, fasting before by myself, and the same types of issues crop up, your mind really gets going. I think the fasting actually is the main culprit with increasing the intensity as much as it did, not the microdosing, but I’m sure they acted together. This particular format, and I think the type of meditation with a mixture of silence and intermittent guidance from Henry was not only just a less strained, less risky way to go about it. I actually felt like it was very, very productive. And I know Henry and Valerie both commented on how it seemed that people made a lot of progress in a very short period of time in this smaller group.

It could have been a function of the smaller group because if you have 40 people, there’s always going to be somebody coughing or farting or fidgeting or whatever in a smaller group, everyone’s on best behavior. And we’re also in a small group that was taking it very seriously. But much like with anything else, density of practice matters. And when you are sitting once a day, like I meditated earlier this morning, using The Way app, which we’re both involved with, that involves Henry, I sat this morning, I’ll sit again later today, but when you’re doing a few hours a day, you’re able to say to yourself, “Okay, in the next sit, I want to focus on this particular aspect.” And then if you have a very uncomfortable meditation session, or you’re just thinking about popcorn and cats the whole time, or something stupid and you’re like, “Ah fuck, I failed that meditation.” You have another at bat five minutes later, right?

Kevin Rose: Right.

Tim Ferriss: And psychologically, you can develop a certain level of not just confidence, but also momentum that you can take back into your daily less intense practice. So, I found it really, really beneficial. So, thank you for putting so much time and energy into helping organize that and the group makes the difference. This was just an outstanding group, very different perspectives. Some people had never really meditated before, certainly never done meditation retreats, for others like me, intrepid people dipping their toe back in. And I found it incredibly rewarding and I would do it again, for sure.

Kevin Rose: That’s awesome. Yeah, same. I had never done something with Henry that involved actually talking during the meditation because it was always like you get to sit with him in private interview once a day when you’re doing a silent retreat. So, either you go back into a room and then you get five minutes to talk about were there any hurdles or obstacles that came up and how might we address these? That’s typically how you do it on Zen style. So, to address those at length in real time was awesome. Yeah, I highly recommend trying to pick up a practice. It is challenging for monkey minds like myself, and after a few years, I’m just now starting to find my way. Ever since then, Tim, I’ve been doing close to pretty much 50 minutes a day since we got back from that, which has been fantastic. But it’s still a challenge. There’ll be days where your mind just goes off the rails and you say, “Hey, that was today.” So, it goes, you can’t beat yourself up, I think, at the end of the day.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. Yeah. I was busy with really good seafood, didn’t do as much meditating as I would like.

Kevin Rose: Yeah, love a good seafood.

Tim Ferriss: But I will give a shameless plug because the reason I got involved with The Way with Henry, this app that he has is because most people are not going to have access to Henry directly in person. That’s just not going to be feasible. But I get, look, I can call Henry, I can text Henry and 99 percent of the time, I just use the app, which should tell you something. So, if you go to thewayapp.com/tim, you can get 30 free sessions. And I’m pretty sure you don’t need to, at least in the beginning, you didn’t need to use your credit card, so you’re not in this, it’s not exactly a bait and switch, but this boiling frogs scenario is my understanding. Last time I checked, still didn’t require a credit card. So, 30 free sessions, you can try it out, thewayapp.com/tim, and I’ll literally be doing that in another two hours. I’ll be doing another session. 

KevKev, anything else you’d like to add?

Kevin Rose: No, I think that was great. People should know we did not plan to have that be a sponsor or anything like that for The Way, I know you have to say all that stuff, but also, it’s just a fucking awesome map. So that’s the nice thing about being able to pick your sponsors and pick people that you work with. I love that. I love that about podcasting. 

We started that Diggnation podcast again with me and Alex and I do that every three weeks now, and we have all these sponsors coming and it is so nice to be able to say no. You’re like, “No, I don’t want to do that because I don’t believe in it.” So it’s awesome that you’re in that spot. But anyway, I will leave you with one last bit of, we wrap up because I have one last โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Let’s do it.

Kevin Rose: โ€” quote of the day. So, my quote for you all would be one that a friend of mine that gave up alcohol said to me, and I don’t believe this originated with him, but I thought it was a great one, which is, “I had my first drink for the same reason that I had my last and that is to be a grown up.”

Tim Ferriss: It’s a good one.

Kevin Rose: It’s a good one.

Tim Ferriss: It’s a good one. Yeah. Well, keep it up, KevKev. I’m impressed. I say that very sincerely. That’s a very long stretch. And it sounds like you’ve cleared a couple of hurdles. You have the phone a friend option, and โ€” 

Kevin Rose: Oh, yeah.

Tim Ferriss: I’m rooting for you, man. I’m definitely rooting for you and having this conversation also reinforces that. I think I’ll just continue with my current cadence, which is like, okay, maybe once or twice a month, special occasion only. And outside of that, just really don’t feel the need to do it. And also with everything else I’ve got going on, I recognize that. I’ll give you another quote for booze. And this was actually something that a dear friend said to me at one point, and he likes to drink. He said, “Drinking is borrowing happiness from tomorrow.” And if you’re coping at night, in some respect with alcohol, it’s not a free lunch. You’re going to pay for it tomorrow. And that’s also true with recreational ketamine use. Don’t think that’s a get out of jail free card. So don’t fuck around with that. Kevin and I have talked about that ad nauseam before, so we can leave that alone. But for me, very inspiring to hear you talk about this stretch and everything that has improved. So I’m going to keep going.

Kevin Rose: I’ve got to say the main thing for me, man, that was unexpected without a doubt, is the mood boost. In the last week, I’ve noticed that I’m just, I never considered myself depressed or anything like that. Always happy person, pretty good. But I don’t take things as personally, which is, it is weird. For some reason, I’m just getting a little 10 percent little like lifting mood, which I’m loving. I’ll take it all day long. It’s great. So, last quote, last quote. I’ve got one more good one, too. I love good quotes. Okay. “Discipline is the strongest form of self-love. It’s ignoring what you want right now for a promise of a better future.” That’s along the same lines as your quote there.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I dig it. Was that from your last fortune cookie, or do you have a source for that one?

Kevin Rose: I don’t know where I found that one. Also, this one’s good, too. Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s the ability to take action despite it. That’s a good one, too.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. I’ve got some difficult conversations coming up this week, so that’s a good one. Good one to end on. Yeah. Talk for another time.

Kevin Rose: Yeah, I know this is going. All right, brother. Continue as always.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, yeah. Same to you, brother. Also, great to see you. And actually, no, it’s not what you think it is. It’s something else, but we’ll catch up offline and โ€” 

Kevin Rose: Not the premature ejaculation stuff together. Okay. It’s good.

Tim Ferriss: I need my level of trazodone. Yeah, no, it’s not that. And that’s an amazing place to end an episode. And for people who want links to everything we’ve discussed, we’ll link to the accelerated TMS, to Nolan Williams, to the books, to 32 Sounds, to all the stuff that Kevin mentioned, the Profi spray for your nasal gel needs.

Kevin Rose: Exspresso.

Tim Ferriss: Exspresso.

Kevin Rose: My favorite exspresso machine.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. We’ll link to Kevin’s favorite exspresso machine. You’ll be able to find that all at tim.blog/podcast. And until next time, be a little kinder than is necessary, not only to others, but to yourself. Thanks for tuning in.

The Random Show โ€” New Health Gadgets, Timโ€™s Latest Adventures, How to Drink Less, Zen Retreats, AI + Your Genome, and Colonoscopy Confessions (#812)

Welcome to another wide-ranging “Random Show” episode I recorded with my close friend Kevin Rose (digg.com)!

We cover dozens of topics: from the cutting edge of health tech to pro-tips for colonoscopies; AI; adventures in Japan and Taiwan seeking out perfect coffee and tea; tips for drinking less alcohol; powerful documentaries like 32 Sounds and books such as Awareness; the unexpected joys and therapeutic benefits of adult Lego; and much, much more.

Please enjoy!

Listen to the episode onย Apple Podcasts,ย Spotify,ย Overcast,ย Podcast Addict,ย Pocket Casts,ย Castbox,ย YouTube Music,ย Amazon Music,ย Audible, or on your favorite podcast platform. Watch the conversation on YouTube. The transcript of this episodeย can be found here. Transcripts of all episodesย can be found here.

This episode is brought to you by Vanta trusted compliance and security platform; Momentous high-quality supplements; and ExpressVPN high-speed, secure, and anonymous VPN service.

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This episode is brought to you by Vanta! Vanta automates compliance for frameworks like SOC 2, ISO 27001, and HIPAA, making it simple and fast to get enterprise-grade compliant. Just like 10,000+ other companies that rely on Vanta, my friends at Duolingo and Ramp (a sponsor of this podcast and an ultra-fast growing company) both use Vanta to handle security compliance.ย 

It all adds up to impressive results: companies save up to 85% of costs, get compliant in weeks instead of months, and complete security questionnaires up to 5 times faster. So check out Vanta.com/Tim to see how Vanta can help you level up your security program. My listeners, thatโ€™s you, can get $1,000 off.


This episode is brought to you byย Momentousย high-quality supplements!ย Momentous offers high-quality supplements and products across a broad spectrum of categories, and Iโ€™ve been testing their products for months now. Iโ€™ve been using theirย magnesium threonate,ย apigenin, andย L-theanineย daily, all of which have helped me improve the onset, quality, and duration of my sleep. Iโ€™ve also been usingย Momentous creatine, and while it certainly helps physical performance, including poundage or wattage in sports, I use it primarily for mental performance (short-term memory, etc.).

Their products are third-party tested (Informed-Sport and/or NSF certified), so you can trust that what is on the label is in the bottle and nothing else. Use code TIM at checkout and enjoy 35% off your first subscription order or 14% off your first one-time purchaseAnd not to worry, my non-US friends, Momentous ships internationally and has you covered. 


This episode is brought to you by ExpressVPN. Iโ€™ve been using ExpressVPN to make sure that my data is secure and encrypted without slowing my Internet speed. If you ever use public Wi-Fi at, say, a hotel or a coffee shop, where I often work and as many of my listeners do, youโ€™re often sending data over an open network, meaning no encryption at all.

A great way to ensure that all of your data are encrypted and canโ€™t be easily read by hackers is by usingย ExpressVPN. All you need to do is download the ExpressVPN app on your computer or smartphone and then use the Internet just as you normally would. You click one button in the ExpressVPN app to secure 100% of your network data.ย Use my linkย ExpressVPN.com/Timย today and get an extra three months free on a one-year package!


Want to hear the last time KevKev and I did a Random Show? Listen to our conversation here, in which we discussed the societal impact of reality-bending AI, the pros and cons of training to failure, inexpensive injury avoidance/reversal, ethical wild meat harvesting, aliens, aversion-defusing meditation, alternative field trips, and much more.


What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

Continue reading “The Random Show โ€” New Health Gadgets, Timโ€™s Latest Adventures, How to Drink Less, Zen Retreats, AI + Your Genome, and Colonoscopy Confessions (#812)”

The Tim Ferriss Show Transcripts: 2x Olympic Archery Medalist Jake Kaminski โ€” Behind-the-Scenes Stories of Coaching Tim, What Archery Teaches About High Performance, and Excellence Under Pressure (#811)

Please enjoy this transcript of my interview with Jake Kaminski (@jake_kaminski_), a two-time Olympic silver medalist in archery and a longtime member of the US Archery Team, with more than a decade of international competition experience. Known for his technical precision and deep knowledge of the sport, Jake helped lead the US to team silver medals at both the 2012 London and 2016 Rio Olympic Games.

Since retiring from Olympic competition, Jake has become a leading voice in the archery world through content creation, product innovation, and educational events. He runs a successful YouTube channel, writes training guides, and develops high-performance gear under the Kaminski Archery brand.

Sign up for the Kaminski Archery Backyard Championship here.

Transcripts may contain a few typos. With many episodes lasting 2+ hours, it can be difficult to catch minor errors. Enjoy!

Listen to the episode on Apple PodcastsSpotifyOvercastPodcast AddictPocket CastsCastboxYouTube MusicAmazon MusicAudible, or on your favorite podcast platform. Watch the interview on YouTube.

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DUE TO SOME HEADACHES IN THE PAST, PLEASE NOTE LEGAL CONDITIONS:

Tim Ferriss owns the copyright in and to all content in and transcripts of The Tim Ferriss Show podcast, with all rights reserved, as well as his right of publicity.

WHAT YOUโ€™RE WELCOME TO DO: You are welcome to share the below transcript (up to 500 words but not more) in media articles (e.g., The New York Times, LA Times, The Guardian), on your personal website, in a non-commercial article or blog post (e.g., Medium), and/or on a personal social media account for non-commercial purposes, provided that you include attribution to โ€œThe Tim Ferriss Showโ€ and link back to the tim.blog/podcast URL. For the sake of clarity, media outlets with advertising models are permitted to use excerpts from the transcript per the above.

WHAT IS NOT ALLOWED: No one is authorized to copy any portion of the podcast content or use Tim Ferrissโ€™ name, image or likeness for any commercial purpose or use, including without limitation inclusion in any books, e-books, book summaries or synopses, or on a commercial website or social media site (e.g., Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.) that offers or promotes your or anotherโ€™s products or services. For the sake of clarity, media outlets are permitted to use photos of Tim Ferriss from the media room on tim.blog or (obviously) license photos of Tim Ferriss from Getty Images, etc.


Tim Ferriss: Jake Kaminski. 

Jake Kaminski: Tim Ferriss.

Tim Ferriss: Nice to see you, man.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, nice to see you too.

Tim Ferriss: So glad to be doing this. We’ve had, I was joking before we recorded, that we could just treat this like conversation 678, something like that. We’ve had a lot of conversations.

Jake Kaminski: It might be double that.

Tim Ferriss: It might be double that. It is probably double that, if we count texts in the many, many thousands. And then videos, it just goes on and on. So let’s give people some context. We’re going to do a deep dive into the world of archery. We’re going to do a deep dive into the world of high performance, which transcends archery. So if you think to yourself, archery, I’m not interested in flinging arrows, still, listen, there’s going to be a lot here. And we’re also going to talk about your coaching, and our experience, coach and student, and what we did with that, which I think is pretty special, and fun to unpack.

So we’re going to go in a lot of different rabbit holes, but let’s start, for people who are not familiar with Olympic recurve, what does that mean? What is the sport?

Jake Kaminski: Sure. So the sport of Olympic archery, as I grew up, was just called recurve, because that was the discipline, but now it’s known as Olympic archery, because there’s many different disciplines that have spun off from that kind of bow. But essentially what it is, is a sport of hyper precision. It’s just how good can you work with a machine, your bow, to produce the exact same result every single time, at an extreme distance? So when I grew up, we shot up to a hundred yards, which is easy to see, it’s end zone to end zone on a football field. But now the Olympic distance is 70 meters, or 77 yards, or 237 feet. So that’s about three quarters of the way down the football field. So we’re shooting an arrow that distance, the arrow reaches 12 to 13 feet in the air, in an arcing trajectory, to the target. And it’s โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: No magnification โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: โ€” zero magnification, no rear sight, in fact. So you don’t even have something to align up in the back, other than a string. You’re using a blurry string that is very imprecise in your reference.

Tim Ferriss: And for people who are trying to get an idea of what it means to perform at a very high level, the center of the target, how large is that? And what does that mean for the amount of motion that is permissible at the arrow point?

Jake Kaminski: The 10 ring, the maximum scoring ring is 12.2 centimeters, or about the size of a CD.

You have to not only take into consideration your alignment with that arrow in that bow, but also you have wind. So there’s a lot of factors there.

Tim Ferriss: Or precipitation.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, anything, anything but lightning. And to hit that 10 ring, that 12.2 centimeter diameter ring, it is the margin of error to hit that repeatedly, is the diameter of an extra fine ball, in an extra fine ball point pen.

Tim Ferriss: So just to put this in perspective, if you’re not watching the video, you’ll still get it. But if you’re watching the video, all right, so you’re trying to hit a CD, for those of you who remember CDs, it would be like the type of dish you might have under a cup of coffee, maybe something like that. It’s small. And then the amount of variance at the arrow tip that will allow you to hit that consistently, is smaller than the point of this pen, not the pen, not the diameter of the pen, the actual rolling point in a ball point.

Jake Kaminski: Correct.

Tim Ferriss: It’s insane.

Jake Kaminski: Correct. And now how often, or how many arrows do you have to do that for? Because it’s not just one, right? It’s more than that. And so when you add in, we shoot for ranking round to seed us in our brackets for the Olympic games, we shoot 72 arrows. And your average, really high score, you’re hitting that 10 ring, probably 40 plus times out of 72 times.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: It’s insane.

Tim Ferriss: So that’s the level. I’ll give one more bit of trivia that I did not know, until we were literally just walking down this hallway, which is that you have also hit the 10 ring from three quarters of a football field away, while standing on an Indo Board. For people who don’t know what that is, it’s like a balance board. Imagine a skateboard deck that you could stand on, and there’s basically a huge rolling pin underneath it, and you place it on the pin, and then you have to balance as you wobble. And if you see someone try this for the first time it’s disastrous and comical. And so to be able to stand on that, and hit the 10 ring, you guys can put the math together. It is just an extra planetary accomplishment, it’s wild.

So let’s back up and share some context on how we first connected.

So the world of archery is, I’m not going to say it’s opaque, because it’s not opaque, but it can be difficult to navigate. And when I was first trying to find potential coaches, and I’ll come back to why I was doing that. I went where I went online, I went to YouTube. But one of the challenges, as most people will recognize, is that, let’s just say for trick shooters, and there’s some amazing trick shooters, which is not to discount that as a discipline, but people can take a thousand attempts, and then show their best outcome. And we were talking about this earlier, but when they actually go to retrieve their arrow, look at the rest of the target face.

Jake Kaminski: Not only retrieve their arrow, just look at the target in frame behind them. Oftentimes it’s like there’s a burlap wrap over the target, because people use bag targets, that’s what they’re called. And you know how worn out they can get, yours are nowhere near as worn out as 90 plus percent of those trick shooters. And yeah, they show you that one impact, but look at the target behind them.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. And I think what you’re alluding to is that if you’re hitting the center of the target consistently, you’re basically going to carve out a sweet spot, and then you have to replace that portion of the target face, if it’s replaceable. And there’s a lot of, I suppose, selection and highlights online. And it can make it very, very difficult, particularly if you’re coming in as a novice, you don’t know how to sort, or separate fact from fiction. You don’t know where to go. And so what I ended up doing was asking myself a question I ask a lot. 

And for people who’ve read The 4-Hour Chef, which is actually about accelerated learning, and this approach will sound familiar, but this is a chance to see it unfold in recent history, and sort of in real time, because we’re still training. How can I find an objective measure for this sport, for this discipline? And there are almost always options, for instance, I’ve had Susan Garrett on this podcast. She is a multiple time agility champion, so a dog agility champion, she’s a multiple national time champion. And that is an objective competition, with set scoring, with set penalties, under time and there’s nowhere to hide, right, there’s nowhere to hide. So that is how I ended up having Susan Garrett on the podcast, versus a million celebrity dog coaches, where it’s impossible to actually know what you’re buying, because you don’t have any of the outtakes. You don’t have a lot of objective measurement.

And in this case, I was like, all right, well I think archery’s in the Olympics, let me look this up. Oh, it’s in the Olympics, great. Let me try to use that as a sorting mechanism. And that is how I found your amazing YouTube channel. You want to give it a plug? 

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, it’s just Jake Kaminski.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I mean, when we have gone anywhere related to archery, it’s like trying to move around with The Rock, or Lady Gaga, or some combination of the two. You just get mobbed, because in a world where it can be very difficult to decipher what is legitimate, you offer the bonafides, and a lot of really good technical instructions. So that’s how I found you, then reached out. And then lo and behold, here we are. And it’s really worked out incredibly well. And my background, just quickly, it’s not that extensive, but I’ve been bow hunting for at least 10 years, a bit more than that. Did rifle prior to that.

First hunt ever was with Steven Rinella, during the writing of The 4-Hour Chef. So thanks to Steve Rinella, people can check him out, everything MeatEater, also an amazing writer. And I’ll give people a bit of a flash forward, and then we can talk about all sorts of stuff, including your training regimen for yourself, and development, and so on. But began taking barebow archery. We can talk about what that is, but it’s effectively, for the purposes of this conversation, it’s a competition classification. And it dictates that you basically strip off all the stabilizers, the clicker, don’t worry about these things, the sight, et cetera, from an Olympic bow.

Jake Kaminski: Essentially all the aids.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, all that โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Everything that makes it simple.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, you take off all of the performance aids, and then you shoot with that particular bow. And I became interested in barebow for a few reasons. I saw it online, on YouTube, while I was tooling around trying to find something. And there is something called Lancaster Classic, happens in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Lancaster โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Or Lancaster.

Tim Ferriss: Lancaster, yes, exactly. And Lancaster Archery Supply is a huge distributor of archery products, and they hold this competition once a year. And it is for the barebow discipline, I suppose, it’s the largest in the world?

Jake Kaminski: I think so, yeah. I mean it’s at least the most prestigious, I suppose, has the biggest reach. So it gets the most exposure, and I think actually the most participation now, at least as of this last year, and a couple of years leading up to this, it’s taken off. And it is the biggest, I believe it’s almost the biggest, if not the biggest class, as far as the amount of participation.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. So you’ve got barebow, they also have compound, they also have Olympic archery, Olympic recurve.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. They have hunting โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: They have longbow now, they’ve got all sorts of stuff, so many different classes. And barebow was interesting to me for a few reasons, I have not done any real physical competition, well now I have, but in 20 years, probably. Last thing was tango in Argentina, in 2004, I suppose it was a long time ago. And I wanted to compete, I love competing, but I thought to myself, all right, I want to take a bit of an oblique approach here, which I think is a misunderstanding about what I do, sometimes or what I often focus on, even as early as The 4-Hour Workweek. The goal is not to find the cheap shortcut. The goal is to look for oblique, maybe uncommon approaches to various problems, or goals or whatever. That’s it.

And in this case, I looked at the number of people competing in barebow, and I was like, all right, it’s a smaller population at the higher levels. And it is sometimes nicknamed the struggle stick for folks. And part of the reason it has so much viewership online, compared to some of these other disciplines is, as they would say, like in barebow, anything can happen.

Jake Kaminski: Literally, at any moment.

Tim Ferriss: At any moment. And if somebody lets their nerves take control, if there’s any number of issues, they could really fire on the target, but out of the bullseye, let’s just say, by a substantial margin, which opens up the possibility for comebacks, surprise turns, reversals of fortune. And it makes it fun to watch.

Jake Kaminski: Absolutely.

Tim Ferriss: And I thought, okay, well that seems like a fun place to bookmark as a possible competition. And ended up competing, end of January, and we will come back to that, and had, I suppose, about six months of real training, real focused training. And so we’ll come back to what that looked like. 

But let’s talk about Jake. So how did the archery thing start? And why don’t you just take that and run with it, then I might pepper in questions along the way?

Jake Kaminski: I grew up in a very small town, in Elma, New York, kind of south of Buffalo, New York. And my dad was a volunteer fireman at the local fire department. And they have a spring and a fall gun raffle every year. And they raffle off guns, and a canoe full of beer, or whatever else. And one of them was a bow, and he won the bow gun raffle, and I was five years old. And of course this was a hunting bow, for an adult, so there’s no way a five-year-old’s going to use that. So we found, I think we went to Kmart, and bought a bear hunting compound for a kid, just fiberglass, super cheap, very basic. My parents bought me that for my sixth birthday. So on my sixth birthday, after we got hay bales from a local farmer or whatever, threw up a target. And I shot my first arrow at 20 yards. And 20 yards is more than double the distance that you would really want to have any person, not just a kid, shoot their first arrow. I vividly remember my very first arrow I ever shot, because I literally shot an inside out X, on my very first arrow.

Tim Ferriss: You should explain what that is.

Jake Kaminski: So inside out X, meaning if you have your 10 ring, like the maximum scoring ring, inside the 10 ring is a X ring. It’s about the size, it’s like between a diamond and nickel, about that size. And inside out, meaning I put the arrow in the dead center of the target, where it did not touch the ring of the X. So it was inside of a dime, roughly. My very first arrow. We won’t talk about the next several hundred arrows.

Tim Ferriss: I mean, thank God for that first arrow, right?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. I mean, I was hooked.

Tim Ferriss: I mean it’s kind of crazy, I’ve heard this story, to think if your first 20 arrows had been all over the place, would it have been a different story? Maybe?

Jake Kaminski: Maybe.

Tim Ferriss: It’s crazy. Who knows?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, really no way to know. And I was with my brother Matt, he was out there shooting with me, and I don’t know if he shot before me, but after I shot the X, he’s like, “Give me that thing.” And of course he โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, he could not replicate โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: And then it just kind of started from there. We found that local club, that was down the street, it is a JOAD club, a Junior Olympic Archery development club. There’s many of those around the country in the US. They’re at local hunting shops, basically, if they have a junior development program. We found that club, because that’s where the bow was bought for the gun raffle. And luckily it was about a five minute drive from our house. And so every Saturday mornings they had a junior development program. And so I’d go there, and start shooting with them. And so every Saturday morning I’d be there, no matter what, because I enjoyed it so much. And yeah, I mean the progression, it went from shooting compound. So I shot compound for about six years.

Tim Ferriss: So let’s pause for a second, just for people who have no archery context. And by the way, my not too secret agenda for this is, I want everybody to go out and try archery. It has been such a godsend for me to have that constant, for a million reasons. It turns into a form of meditation. It can also be just as frustrating if not more frustrating than golf, but let’s put that aside for now. It has been such a gift to my life, to have archery, and to be able to train with you. It’s really been tremendous. So I have this not-so-secret agenda, of getting as many people as possible who are listening to try archery, which by the way, is very much within reach for basically everybody listening.

Jake Kaminski: Absolutely.

Tim Ferriss: If you have a smartphone and you’re listening to this, you can try archery.

Jake Kaminski: A hundred percent.

Tim Ferriss: You do not need to buy anything. But let me explain a term. So longbow is about the simplest thing you can imagine. It’s a, let’s call it a stick. It’s bent and then you have a string attached to it, and you’ll see this in many different indigenous hunting cultures, you’ll see it all over the world. Recurve, you’ll also see all over the world, because they figured out, well, you can make the bow a lot shorter, and have the ends of the bow recurve out, kind of towards the target, to apply more tension.

Jake Kaminski: It’s like an advanced longbow, using laminations of wood, instead of just a stick.

Tim Ferriss: Right? Exactly. So now you have exactly this laminated bow, and you see that all over the world, it’s all over the world. And there are different iterations of that. You’ve got the, well, slightly different idea, but horse bow, which of course I’m in love with, that’s a whole separate podcast, and so on and so forth. So if you imagine like a Robin Hood bow in your mind, I think it was a recurve, in maybe the cartoon at least, made out of fancier materials, whether it’s carbon, or aluminum, or something else. Then you have the idea of what I’m shooting when I’m doing say barebow. And then a compound has various cams, you can think of them almost like cams on a weightlifting machine.

Jake Kaminski: Pulleys.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, pulley, pulleys and cams. So it’s like when you are in a gym using a machine, pushing or pulling, there’s a strength curve. So the amount of exertion required changes over the course of that full range. And in the case of a compound bow, very similar. And what makes it such an efficient, amazing hunting tool, there are a few factors. One is, in the beginning it’s hard, it’s hard, it’s hard. And then there’s a let off, so you might have, I’m making up these numbers, but 60-pound draw weight. And then you’re holding, what would you say?

Jake Kaminski: Maybe between eight and 12 pounds.

Tim Ferriss: Eight and 12 pounds.

Jake Kaminski: Depending on if it’s a hunting, or a competition bow.

Tim Ferriss: Right. So eight or 12 pounds, when you’re at anchor, and to define that, that’s when you have your โ€” very simple terms, your hand that is attached to the string, whether you’re using fingers, or a mechanical release, when your hand is kind of glued to your face, and you always glue it to the same place, to set up the rifle barrel, so to speak. And that’s one element of what makes compounds so interesting. The second is, when you have these additional mechanical aids, let’s just say the speed of the arrow is just โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Dramatically more.

Tim Ferriss: Dramatically, dramatically more. All right.

Jake Kaminski: The main difference in the compound versus everything else, is there’s one string on every other bow, called a single string bow. Whether that be a trad bow, a stick bow โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Traditional bow. Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Recurve, a barebow, whatever that is. Whereas compound has three strings, essentially when you look at it, you can see multiple strings, because the string tension, as you pull it back, it builds, but then it transfers that tension into the cables, which are the other two strings that the arrow’s not attached to.

And so that then catapults the arrow at an incredible rate of speed, when you let it go.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. And when you go to your local range, which we’ll get to, and I recommend, you can try all of these different options, in a lot of places. And if you can only start with compound, great.

Jake Kaminski: That’s where I started.

Tim Ferriss: Maybe you stay with compound, and at the highest levels they do some absurd, absurd things. Actually I just have to give credit where credit is due. So also have had some fantastic conversations with Joel Turner, Shot IQ, his son, Bodie, do you want to just explain what he’s capable of doing?

Jake Kaminski: Sure. So you know that X that I shot the inside out on my first arrow? So he will shoot that X, so that same, hitting that dime, for about 120 arrows in a row, essentially, under pressure, when there’s $100,000 plus on the line. And you would not know, just looking at the kid, he is just stone cold, like ice in his veins. You’d have no idea that he even had a heartbeat, just watching him shoot, because he’s incredible. To be able to hit that thing repeatedly, with so much precision, and repeatability under pressure. Most importantly, it’s ridiculous, it’s different. It’s a โ€” we’ll get to talking about a little bit about compound, and how there’s a, I guess a less deep learning curve. You get really good, really fast as far as precision, but still to win with a compound, in a competition, it still requires immense amounts of effort, and energy, and training.

Tim Ferriss: So we’re going to come back to your trajectory in a second, pun intended, but let’s mention that briefly, because I didn’t really fill in the gaps. The compound bow that I used for hunting was fantastic. I thought it was a great transition for me, because I was more familiar with rifle, and so on. It was actually a fantastic transition. And I would hunt once a year, let’s just call it something like that. Use everything, eat everything, for those people wondering. And the hop from rifle and so on, to compound was actually quite easy. And I needed to brush up on a few things. Obviously I learned some technical details, think about back tension a bit, et cetera. But for someone with a sports background, it was pretty straightforward. And if you’re thinking about the target size, the kind of kill zone, on whether it’s a deer or an elk, I mean certainly a lot larger on an elk, but you can get to a point, if you have some kinesthetic awareness, very quickly, I would say within a week, for a lot of folks maybe. Maybe it’s โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: So to be ethical as a hunter, to know that when you take the shot, you’re not going to do the animal any suffering, it will be a very, very painless and fast end.

Tim Ferriss: It takes more time to get to that point.

Jake Kaminski: Well, depends, it depends on the distance that you’re shooting. So, say, we’ll say 20 yards.

Tim Ferriss: So what I was going to say is 20 yards, just as people can imagine.

Jake Kaminski: So 20 yards, your average person, I could get them to hit that pie plate. It depends on the coach, of course, and depends on explanations, and the individual person as well. But I would say easily within a week, you’re going to hit that thing nine to 10 times out of 10, every time. Within a day you’ll hit it probably six to eight times out of 10, because it’s just easy, relatively speaking, to get to that level, really quick.

Tim Ferriss: And there are a lot of reasons for that, right? I mean, you have the let off, you have the peep, which is โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: The rear sight.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” which is basically a rear sight. It’s a tiny circle, fixed to the string itself.

Jake Kaminski: You have a level on the bow.

Tim Ferriss: You have a level. There are many things that allow you to do that quickly, but then to get to the highest levels, we were talking about this at lunch, it’s kind of like, okay, let’s get you down the hill on a snowboard. Yeah, within a week we can probably get you down some easy terrain on a snowboard. Okay, now you want to compete in the X Games? Yeah. All right, well, good luck. That’s going to take a while.

Jake Kaminski: About 10 years, right? That’s a rule for a reason.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I mean that’s Bodie, and anyone who performs at that level.

Jake Kaminski: Absolutely. So not to take it away from them, their proficiency level is insane. And to be able to do it all the time, under pressure, is even more insane. It’s one thing to do it in your backyard, and be that backyard world champion that so many people claim to be, but to do it in front of other people, on a stage, with crazy lighting, cheering crowds, money on the line, potentially putting food on your table or not at the end of the day too. That’s just a whole lot of added pressure. And so it’s different.

Tim Ferriss: So we’ll probably end up talking about Korea later, and maybe we can just give a sneak peek. I know we’re going all over the place, but I remember you said to me at one point, and please correct me if I’m getting this wrong, if each country could field as many athletes as they wanted for a given sport, that Korea would probably place one to 100 at the โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Minimum, bare minimum, yeah.

Tim Ferriss: It’s basically their, let’s just call it basketball, football, baseball all wrapped into one. Right?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. It is their national sport.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. They are obscenely, obscenely good.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: And you’ve said to me before, if you or I were scouted and assessed early on, we wouldn’t have made the early cuts.

Jake Kaminski: No, you would’ve immediately โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Because I’m cross eye dominant.

Jake Kaminski: Because of your eye dominance, immediately โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. I’m right-handed but my left eye is my aiming eye. So I would’ve been gone. I would’ve โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: I get a little bit too excited, so I would’ve also been โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: You would’ve been cut.

Jake Kaminski: 100 percent.

Tim Ferriss: So what are some good decisions or habits that you made early on, let’s just say before you ended up in San Diego, that you think helped you to perform the way you performed in those early stages? I can think of one example, but I’ll hold it for now, which is where you’re placing yourself in the gym and how you’re training.

Jake Kaminski: I would say, for me, one of the biggest advantages as a human, not just as an archer but as a human, was the same kind of thing that you saw, was a meditative escape. Because when you’re shooting archery, that’s the only thing you can focus on. Because if you’re thinking about anything else, your scores go down. Your groups open up.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. You know if you’re meditating poorly very quickly.

Jake Kaminski: 100 percent. So I think for me, that gave me a place to go to. I escaped to archery. So I feel like that was definitely a big factor as to what led to that. It naturally worked for me. It wasn’t difficult for me. It is hard. It’s hard to stay focused on something so simple and repetitive over and over again, but it was very enjoyable because it’s just me, the bow, and the arrow. I love competing as well. I used to play baseball when I was a kid, and that competed with my archery time because I was trying out for the state team in baseball, or about to, and winning nationals shooting archery.

So I kind of had an easy decision there to make because I was already winning nationals in archery. So I went with that. But the overall enjoyment of shooting archery, and enjoying that, me and the bow, and no one else is going to prevent me from beating someone else. It’s not like they’re interfering with me or trying to prevent me from shooting my arrow. It’s very nice. And it’s also 100 percent objective. There is no subjectivity. There’s no way for anyone to influence the outcome other than maybe, at some weird position, a judge to make a bad call. But it’s almost never happening. It just doesn’t happen because it’s such a small community and everybody holds each other accountable, which is also another amazing thing about the community of archery.

So I think that was a big factor there. As far as what you’re alluding to and bringing up and saying is I choose to make things as difficult as possible when I’m practicing. Say if I’m out at a range. I’ll choose the lane nearest to the wall so I have the least amount of space. And we’ll probably get into why we do that in a little bit here, but I would suggest you to do the same thing as we were working together. And you at first were like, “Why? Why would I do that? It’s much better to just stand by myself out in the open and have no influence.”

Well, it’s because when you’re shooting on a line in a tournament, you have 24 inches of space, roughly, for yourself. And the next guy’s 24 inches, then the next guy. And so you’re stacked in there like a can of sardines.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. We could get a photo of me at Lancaster for people who want to see what it looks like.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. It’s โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: It’s like a Tokyo subway car. You just happen to all be holding bows with arrows.

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: It’s very crowded.

Jake Kaminski: It is. It is. It is. And yeah, so anything you can do to make things more difficult. To shoot in the rain, to shoot in the wind, to shoot in the heat, I would do because, I don’t know, maybe I just enjoy torturing myself. I don’t know. But I found it to be really important. And once I got to the training center, listening to some of the other successful athletes giving talks at the training center about their success and how things went and what made them successful. A lot of them [were] leaning into the same kind of thing โ€” training hard to make competition easy.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. Well, it’s very much an echo of, the more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in combat.

Jake Kaminski: Sure. Absolutely. Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: It’s just like you want to try to make your training harder, if possible, than your competition.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: There are limits to what you can do sometimes.

Jake Kaminski: Sure.

Tim Ferriss: We’ll talk about that.

Jake Kaminski: But even still, the range I grew up on, I would go there more than just Saturdays. And I’d shoot there by myself, because no one else is there. And I’m just shooting. And my coach / mentor at the time, Harry Staebell, would come downstairs, because it was down in a secondary level below. And he’d have a metal ashtray. Back then everybody smoked. And he would just throw it randomly on the concrete ground when I’m at full draw. And I’d have to regain composure and shoot a shot. Right?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: So there was all sorts of weird stuff that happened all the time.

Tim Ferriss: Some weird Mr. Miyagi action going on.

Jake Kaminski: There was a lot of stuff that happened that definitely would not fly in today’s day and age. So it’s like, “You’re dropping your bow arm.” That’s a thing that, when you shoot the shot, you have to maintain the bow up. You don’t want to drop the arm.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: So he’d take his pocket knife out, flip it open, turn it upside, and say, “Don’t drop your arm.”

Tim Ferriss: Put it under your arm?

Jake Kaminski: Under my arm. Or you’re grabbing your bow. Something else you don’t want to do is hold onto it. There’s a grip on a bow but you don’t want to grip it. You just saddle it. Right?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. You’re kind of pushing into it.

Jake Kaminski: Correct. And so you’re grabbing your bow. Guess what? Thumbtacks were double-sided taped on the front of my bow. Didn’t grab it anymore.

Tim Ferriss: God. That’s so intense.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: And it worked.

Jake Kaminski: It did.

Tim Ferriss: Look, I’m not recommending people do that with their kids. But the also supplement to our conversation: we’re going to put a number of videos up on my YouTube page, and we’ll link to Jake’s YouTube page, with archery 101. Both archery gear 101, just laying out the anatomy of a bow. And then technical 101s, so you have a couple of pointers which you may not get at some ranges, so that when you have your first, second, and subsequent lessons you’ll have some really good solid fundamentals, at least, to use. 

Tim Ferriss: All right. So you mentioned Thumbtack Billy. I forgot his name. Harry, right?

Jake Kaminski: Harry.

Tim Ferriss: And if I’m skipping any important chapters, let me know.

Jake Kaminski: Sure.

Tim Ferriss: But I want to know when KSL entered your life. And who or what is KSL?

Jake Kaminski: Sure. Quickly before we get into KSL, started shooting compound, the easier sport to get into. Shot that for six years. And then some other of the friends that I developed at the archery range that I was going to were going to the Empire State Games. It’s like a mini Olympics. And it’s for all of the regions within New York State, and they compete against each other, different events. You go to a place. There’s opening ceremonies, closing ceremonies.

Tim Ferriss: They have this for a bunch of sports.

Jake Kaminski: It’s amazing.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: And so I wanted to do the archery thing, but compound wasn’t in it. Only recurve. And I had really debilitating target panic. Basically dealing with aiming in the middle and the irrational fear to aim in the middle with the intention of shooting the shot. It’s like a โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Which is quite common.

Jake Kaminski: It’s a common thing.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: And so I wanted to shoot recurve because it’s a change, something different. Archery was starting to become unfun for the compound side of things because of that target panic. So I picked up the recurve. And it has a device called a clicker, which is essentially a psycho trigger that is both a draw check to make sure your draw length, the distance you pull the bow back, is the same every single time. But it also gives you a cue to tell you when to let go. So it allowed me to aim in the middle with more comfort to disassociate from that fear of letting go and missing the middle.

Tim Ferriss: Let me give people a visual that might help you imagine what a clicker is. It’s a flat piece of metal that goes on the outside of the arrow. I actually used one for the first time today, and holy God is it challenging to figure out. But if you were to imagine, let’s say you’re using a slingshot. Most people know a slingshot. But let’s say, instead of shooting a ball bearing, you’re shooting an arrow out of this slingshot. And there’s a piece of metal that is leaning against the arrow as you pull it back in the slingshot. Once it flips past the very front of that arrow point, this is not the perfect analogy but it works, and clicks onto another piece of metal, that’s when you let go, whether you think you’re ready or not. And what that’s going to do is standardize how much you pull it back. And it also takes away the decision to let go.

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: Right?

Jake Kaminski: Exactly.

Tim Ferriss: It’s just a Pavlovian response that you train in yourself.

Jake Kaminski: Yes and no.

Tim Ferriss: It’s more complicated, but โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Yes, but that is a brief look at it. So I switched to recurve specifically because of target panic and to go to the Empire State Games.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: So I literally took a bow off the wall. I still have the bow. That was a club bow. And took my stuff from my compound, my arrows and all sorts of other things, and threw it on the bow and started shooting it for a few months before Empire State Games. Made the team. I think I won some medals there. I don’t remember exactly, but it was a lot of fun.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Good time. Very good experience. And ultimately fell in love with archery again because it was enjoyable again. There was no target panic involved. And just continued to do that. Shot up through the ranks. Started winning nationals as a junior and then, at a tournament called the โ€” well, actually it was Junior World Championships at US Target Nationals. 

I was shooting against some other people that had just moved to the training center to work with KSL, who we’ll get to in a second. And I was the only person to beat the person who was working with KSL.

And he came up to me after the match and said, “Hey, you’re pretty good and I’d like you to come out to the training center and work with the Junior Dream Team.” It was a squad at the time that would go out there maybe once a quarter. And I said, “Actually I just applied to become an RA, a resident athlete. I’d like to move out there full time in a couple weeks or a couple months.” And he said, “Great. I’ll keep an eye out for your application. Keep it up.” And he disappeared. And so KSL is Kisik Lee, my coach. And he is the godfather of archery in Korea, essentially. He essentially left Korea and went to Australia for a few years โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: What did he do in Korea?

Jake Kaminski: He was the national head coach of the Korean archery team and formulated the entire program that is the current Korean archery training regiment to develop archers. And to put it as a quick example as to the type of celebrity level that he is: anytime we would fly to Korea, a limo would show up. He didn’t order it, but the limo would show up. We flew there for a tournament and a limo showed up, and he said, “I can’t fit the team in the limo. No thanks.” And I’m at a tournament in Puerto Rico. We’re in a sauna, me and another archer, with some other random Korean. He looked Korean and he ended up being from Korea.

And he said, “Why are you guys here?” “We’re here shooting archery.” “Oh, did you know archery is the national sport in Korea?” “Yeah. We do, actually. And our coach is actually Korean. It’s Kisik Lee.” “Kisik Lee? Oh, my God. Do you have any idea the level of celebrity and how important he is to the country culturally?”

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Just random sauna in Puerto Rico. You know?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: I don’t know.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: So that kind of level.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: And so he left Korea, went to Australia, worked with them to develop a national program. I think before he was working with them officially he went to biomechanics school to try to apply more efficient movements to his method. And he also, prior to that, to jump backwards, part of the development of the Korean National program was looking at the US program back in the ’80s. We were dominant worldwide and hadn’t lost a world championship for decades and were just powerhouses on the international scale.

And so he mimicked the program that we were doing, or at least the movements, positions, that kind of thing, and implemented that in Korea as a national system that would start from grassroots, from day one, no matter what. And then that’s why we would be thrown out, because we didn’t fit the mold. That’s how strict they are. So he went to Australia, made a better program, and then ultimately ended up coming to the States. And so he just got hired in 2006, in like January. So just before Junior World Championships, I moved out to the training center and started training under Coach Lee in 2006.

Tim Ferriss: Okay. We’re going to pick up there in a minute, but I want to just pause because you’re already doing very, very well. You mentioned a few things that influenced that. You found it appealing. Easy to use archery as an escape, a meditation. You made training as difficult as possible. Do any other things come to mind that were decisions you made or things you did differently that you think contributed to those successes prior to moving out to the training center?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. I think one of those things, honestly, was I did not really mesh well socially with other kids.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: And so I didn’t really have a ton of friends.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: It was a very odd situation. I think definitely a lot of it is, I’m an intense person as it is and so I take things very seriously.

Tim Ferriss: His wife is laughing from around the concrete pillar.

Jake Kaminski: Yes. Yeah, I take things very seriously. And as a kid that can make things difficult.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Even though talented in sports, baseball, any throwing sport, really, and archery, and just didn’t fit in in school. So I basically built a shell around myself, didn’t talk to anyone in school. Because I got made fun of and got overall, not attacked because it wasn’t physical, really. It just wasn’t something I was interested in. I wasn’t wanting to participate in social life, so I just made a shell around myself and stayed inside of that in school. And at archery, I didn’t have that identity.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. Right.

Jake Kaminski: I was a kid.

Tim Ferriss: Everybody’s shooting and doing their own thing.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, everybody’s doing their own thing. Everybody’s as interesting and different and awkward and normal and talented and just human.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: And so I didn’t have that aura of that negative experience of school following me around. So it supercharged my desire to want to do it more because it was just, I was normal.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: People treated me like a normal human. A normal kid, with respect. And it was great, right?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: So that was ultimately my life. Yeah. I think that really is what supercharged my desire to want to do it more, because it was something that I felt happy doing.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, totally. And I want to โ€” this is as good a point as any to say that part of what got me excited about archery was realizing how welcoming the communities are.

Jake Kaminski: It is.

Tim Ferriss: And there are different personalities.

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: It’s like compound crew’s different from the Olympic crew, which is different from the barebow crew, which is very different from the horse bow crew.

Jake Kaminski: Oh, yeah.

Tim Ferriss: They’re all like different, very different Burning Man camps with super different personalities but, broadly speaking, incredibly welcoming.

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: People are happy to give you advice, give you pointers, help you out. And I mean this in the best way possible. It’s also kind of like Weirdopalooza. I mean it’s like โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: For sure.

Tim Ferriss: And it doesn’t matter.

Jake Kaminski: No.

Tim Ferriss: Right?

Jake Kaminski: No.

Tim Ferriss: It’s like, “Okay, there’s some dude in a kilt. Okay, whatever.”

Jake Kaminski: Whatever. That’s normal.

Tim Ferriss: And then there’s some emo chick with a mohawk. Yeah. Okay, whatever. And everybody’s just doing their thing, shooting. And of course that’s not every archery range.

Jake Kaminski: No.

Tim Ferriss: But in Brooklyn, Gotham Archery, great spot, you see everything.

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: And those people will be right next to a dyed-in-the wool hunter who’s born and raised in Montana, who’s getting ready for a hunting season.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: And everybody’s cool.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: So that’s part of what I really have enjoyed about it. All right, so [transition sounds]. Austin Powers fade back to KSL. So you get to the training center and technically you’re perfect. And he’s just like, “Let it rip, son. Just move forth. Be bold and prosper.” Or was there more to it?

Jake Kaminski: Well, yeah. Perspective is I moved out there I believe in the end of August of 2016. World Championships, Junior World Championships, the trials that I met him at. It’s the first and only Junior Worlds I’d ever go to. And when we first moved there, we being other people, because I also had another buddy of mine, Dan Schuller, who moved out there with me. And my number one competitor, head-to-head, since like 14 years old. And we just pushed each other and kept competing and moving up the ladder as we got older and older.

And so we both moved out to there at the training center at the same time. And Coach Lee said, “I won’t change your form at all. Don’t worry. Train and compete through the World Championships and then we’ll work on your form.” Because part of the reason of going to the training center was to learn from Coach Lee. To really learn how to be a real archer. Because up until that point my shot cycle, which is a thing that you do for archery, it’s the same method over and over again. It’s like a mantra, but physically.

Tim Ferriss: It’s like a physical recipe.

Jake Kaminski: Yes, exactly.

Tim Ferriss: In a sense. Just like someone who’s, let’s just say an Olympic diver, right?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: They’re going to have their routine. Never deviates.

Jake Kaminski: Yep.

Tim Ferriss: They’re probably toweling off in the same way.

Jake Kaminski: Probably.

Tim Ferriss: They’re putting things in the same place.

Jake Kaminski: They probably fold it the same and put it in the same place on the railing.

Tim Ferriss: Exactly.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Exactly.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. Because all of that genuinely matters at a high level, at least to the routine, for sure.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: And so for archery, my routine prior to that was pull back the bow, anchor, look at the middle, and wait for the clicker to click. There was no activation, there was no mental talk, there was nothing. It was genuinely pull it back, look at the middle, and wait. That’s it. And so when I was there, there was about that two month time period before Junior Worlds, and I started shooting phenomenal. To the level of, I could be easily competitive, top two, top three in the senior division. Really starting to shoot high level scores and, frankly, to be a threat to actually metal at Junior Worlds. So that’s very exciting.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: And then about two weeks or so before the actual event, before we went down to Mexico, everything changed. Coach Lee just decided it’s time to change your form. And not just change my form, change my equipment, which is another part of it. And so to not exaggerate in the least, the only thing that was the same on my entire setup and in my entire shot process was my riser, the center part of the bow that’s made of aluminum, that the limbs, the piece that bends, snapped into. The riser and my sight bar, which is the thing that moves the sight.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: So my sight pin, my finger tab, my arrows, my fletching, my string, my stabilizers, my entire shot process, how I stood, how I thought, what I told myself. Everything had changed. And my scores went from nationally competitive as a senior, a threat on the world scale as a junior, to genuinely not shooting that terrible ever. Ever.

Tim Ferriss: Okay. It was the worst you’d been shooting?

Jake Kaminski: Literally the worst I had ever shot, even before I picked up my recurve for the very first time before going to the Empire State Games. So if I took my scores at Empire State Games, I probably outshot my scores at Junior Worlds in Mexico.

Tim Ferriss: Okay. Why would Coach Lee do that two weeks before the competition?

Jake Kaminski: He’s an interesting guy.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: And his reason was, “I can’t take an archer that looks like that to world championships.” In his defense, my technique was atrocious.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: A completely arched back and what we would call a hollow back. So standing very upright. I’m a young kid at the time. Just turned 18. Barely strength trained ever. I did some planks. That was my strength training, right?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: And yeah, just couldn’t control my body, and just didn’t look the part. He is known for having very specific looks in his archers. A very specific, biomechanically efficient movement with very precise loading of the structure of the body itself to maintain the weight of the bow. And I was not doing that in the least.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: So basically I asked him afterwards and he said, “I was embarrassed to bring those archers to a Junior World Championship.” And he was not afraid to say it. Ultimately I was there for the Olympic Games, not for Junior World Championships, so how could I ever say no? My ultimate goal was to make the Games, not to do anything at Junior Worlds. But it definitely had quite an effect on my overall mental perspective of how things were going.

Tim Ferriss: How long did it take you to build back up to the same scores or superior scores?

Jake Kaminski: I would say probably three to four years.

Tim Ferriss: Oh, my God.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: So what are you saying to yourself mentally over that period of time? Because I would imagine that could be incredibly demoralizing.

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: And you would have, I would think, moments of doubt. And I’m curious what kept you going and how you kept yourself going during that period of time. Because look, I think I’m a glutton for punishment and have pretty good pain tolerance, physical and mental, but I don’t know if I could do that.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. To put it in context, it took me three to four years to get back to zero, square one.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Whereas my buddy, Dan Schuller, three months.

Tim Ferriss: Oh, wow.

Jake Kaminski: Maybe. Maybe less. Yeah. I don’t know why, but maybe three months or so for him.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: So I see somebody who went out to the training center with me at the same time. I was at the same level, if not potentially a little bit better, at least the way I saw it, than him. And then extend my timeline times 15 times.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: That’s how long it took me. Much longer to take me to get back to zero. And so yeah, it was definitely very difficult mentally and emotionally, for sure, because it was more than challenging, to say the least. And not only that. Adding in physical challenges, too, because prior to that, prior to moving to the training center I was shooting maybe 100, 120 arrows at the most I could ever shoot in a single day. And I would maybe shoot that once a month. I would shoot often, don’t get me wrong, but maybe it would be 50 to 60 arrows a session at the most.

Tim Ferriss: Yep.

Jake Kaminski: And I thought I was doing a lot. And never strength training. I went to the gym at school and did planks and I don’t even know what. Some very basic, maybe wall sits or something like that. Really just not strength training. So move out to the training center. Started shooting upwards of 400 to 500 arrows every single day.

Strength training three days a week, on the track doing morning workouts six days a week, and shooting overall six days a week. So super crazy amounts of load. Developed tendonitis, tendinosis in shoulders, and dealing with all sorts of inflammation issues. I still deal with a little bit of that today, and I have learned a lot of things to deal with that. But at that time I’m going to the sports medicine for hours a day. So I’d do prehab, rehab exercises every single day, and I’m the only one complaining of the pain in my shoulders and all sorts of other things, whereas all my other teammates are shooting just as much, if not more arrows than me, with just as much, if not more draw weight. Going to the gym. Doing all the same things, and none of them had to go to sports medicine. Very few of them were even sore enough to feel like they needed to ice or do anything.

Tim Ferriss: That’s wild.

Jake Kaminski: And I’m there having to do all sorts of different things. And it was a big, big struggle and a challenge. And I don’t know really what pushed me through exactly. I can’t really put my finger on the pulse of that, but I think a lot of it actually I have to attribute to my sister, Liz. She was approaching things with a different mindset than pretty much that I have ever heard of in the past. Trying to manifest things instead of just going through the motions. Instead of just doing it and hoping the outcome changes, but to try to just overall bring what you want into fruition and to not just hope that it’s going to happen.

And so a big part of that was actually using affirmations. And I had no idea what they were at the time, but she started bringing me into that mindset of using positive affirmations to change everything. I was dealing with being on depression medication and all sorts of other things, because if I had to pick one word to describe to you how I felt during that timeframe, it was apathy.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Just a lack of anything. And so anyway, fast-forward to the positive affirmations. Using I am, period. We check our hand placement and our grip every single shot to make sure it’s exactly the same thing.

Tim Ferriss: So he has, “I am.” tattooed on basically, let’s just say the back of the hand. The webbing between the index finger and the thumb on the left hand, which you’re going to check every time.

Jake Kaminski: Correct, because that’s my bow hand.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: I want to make sure my bow hand placement is precise in the grip. And so it’s not just I am, It’s I am. Period. It’s a statement, right?

Tim Ferriss: Mm-hmm.

Jake Kaminski: And so what is I am? I am is whatever you want to be. For me it was, I am an archer. I am an Olympian, period. So changing my overall habits and mindset started with just self-talk. And then โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: And would you do that at basically that point in your shot cycle or โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. Yeah. It’s like trying to โ€” when you’re shooting an arrow there’s a difference between trying to hit the 10 ring and trying to not miss the 10 ring. There’s also a difference between fighting for position and owning a position. And so ultimately, how is your approach? And so if you approach from the stance of it has happened and you are that person, then your habits just change.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: And so genuinely it was like, “I am an Olympian, period.” Okay. I’m not yet. I’m not using the standard thing when I ask people, so what do you want to be? I want to be an Olympian. Okay, great. You’re going to always want to be one. Let’s change that thought to be, I am an Olympian, because then your habits change. And so my habits changed to be more of an approach of looking at myself from an honest perspective, of am I doing the right thing? Am I getting enough sleep? Am I strength training enough? Am I putting in enough effort? Am I being honest with myself? All of those things. Because if a champion would do whatever it was and I wasn’t doing it, I’d change that.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: I made a decision to make that change. I think a lot of it that took me out of that spiral, that negative spiral, was just believing.

Tim Ferriss: And using the present tense affirmations.

Jake Kaminski: Correct.

Tim Ferriss: Positive affirmations.

Jake Kaminski: Yes. Never a future tense.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Because the future tense is you’re just setting yourself up to continue to want that. It’s not done.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: If it’s done and you shoot from that position of, I have arrived, I am that. I am what I want to be. Then everything else can click.

Tim Ferriss: And for people listening, this is not the first time that affirmations have come up on this podcast with people who are top performers. It can be a really powerful tool. And to this day, I’m still chasing the dream here, but my best ever day of shooting was a day early on when I started using affirmations. And for me it was, “I am a top Lancaster competitor.” Right?

Jake Kaminski: Mm-hmm.

Tim Ferriss: And it was every single shot.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: And we will talk about practice scores versus competition scores at some point, but it is remarkable what that can contribute to. What it can do.

Jake Kaminski: For sure.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: All right. So you’re rebuilding, rebuilding. Three to four years. Good God. It’s an entire college experience, basically.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Talk about brutal. But you’ve made all of these decisions, you’ve had all this training, you’ve got Coach Lee’s input, you have the positive affirmations you’ve developed, maybe fine-tuned your shot sequence, right?

Jake Kaminski: Mm-hmm.

Tim Ferriss: You’re no longer just staring at the middle of the target and waiting until the clicker clicks. When does it all come together?

Jake Kaminski: Ultimately it really came together in 2012 at the Olympic Games in London. Put it in perspective, as we talked about Korea already. Korea is a powerhouse now. What the US was in the ’80s, Korea is today.

Tim Ferriss: Yep.

Jake Kaminski: It’s just dominant for decades at this point.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. So just to put that in perspective. If we take, could be the women’s team or the men’s team. How dominant? If you look at their medal record over time, what does it look like?

Jake Kaminski: With the exception of the Korean men, the Korean women haven’t lost a gold medal, individual or team round, in I think like โ€” I don’t know. 28 years or something crazy. I don’t know exactly. It’s an absurd statistic.

Tim Ferriss: It is as impeccable a record as a country can possibly have.

Jake Kaminski: Correct. And the only reason that I say with the Korean men as an exception is because they didn’t have an individual male Olympic gold medal for quite some time. They just recently got one finally.

Tim Ferriss: Why is that?

Jake Kaminski: I don’t know. Maybe the pressure. I don’t know. There’s a lot riding on it. There’s also a lot of benefit for them to perform well, but there’s a lot of pressure.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, for sure. I didn’t even really think about this because I guess on the one hand you could say, “Well, wait a second, they’ve been shooting 700 hours a day since they were a fetus. Why can’t they handle the pressure?” But at the same time, you told me โ€” I can’t remember who it was. You don’t need to mention them, but what did someone say to you to calm you down before one competition? I can cue you. Do you remember what I’m talking about?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: What is it?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. No one gives a shit.

Tim Ferriss: Meaning in the US about โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Meaning I’m not LeBron.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: I’m not Kobe. I’m not Michael. Right?

Tim Ferriss: Right.

Jake Kaminski: No one’s watching. No one cares.

Tim Ferriss: Right, so relax, take some pressure off yourself.

Jake Kaminski: I believe he actually said “No one cares.”

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. So in contrast, if you’re a top Olympic competitor in Korea, you are LeBron, you are Kobe. Everyone cares and everyone is watching.

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: So it’s a tremendous amount of pressure.

Jake Kaminski: For sure. Yeah, yeah.

Tim Ferriss: It’s a lot of pressure no matter what, but okay, so 2012.

Jake Kaminski: So 2012, the Korean men then, because of the team, so we’re leading into the team rounds because that’s where we’re heading here.

Tim Ferriss: And how does that work? Is it like the cumulative points of three people who go round robin or what โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, so we do round robins head to head, single elimination for elimination. We do that individually. We also do that as a team. So you seed yourself in the ranking round. There’s 64 men competing, one through 64. One versus 64, two versus 63, and so on.

Tim Ferriss: It’s like an NCAA bracket.

Jake Kaminski: Individual, correct. That’s how you decide the individual champion. Team round, it’s your three archers combined score that ranks you as a team amongst the other teams. And then there was 12 teams at the time and so you then, same thing, just like the March Madness style bracket, it’s single elimination and head to head. And so you shoot three archers together as a team. You shoot in rotation, so you step on and off the line and you have a very limited amount of time to shoot your arrows. So there’s no time to second guess, no time to let down. And you have to be a well-oiled machine to execute properly.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. Let me just say, so let down for people who may not get that, if you pull back and you make a mistake or you didn’t set up properly, it doesn’t feel right, you can choose, if you’re practicing, let’s just say, to let down, which means slowly bring the string back to the bow and start over.

Jake Kaminski: You essentially abort the shot.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, you abort the shot.

Jake Kaminski: You pull back, you’re like, “Eh, something doesn’t feel right. The wind’s blowing harder. I had a negative thought pop in my head.”

Tim Ferriss: Which is what I had to do over and over again today because I overdrew and clicked the clicker when I was not prepared to release the shot.

Jake Kaminski: Yep.

Tim Ferriss: And so not having any wiggle room.

Jake Kaminski: No wiggle room. There’s just really no time to second guess and you just have to go for it. So after the ranking round, Korea was ranked first and the United States was ranked either third or fourth. So that means that we would meet in the semi-finals. And so that meant whoever won the semi-finals would go for gold and then the loser of that match would have silver. And then the loser of the semi-final match would have the chance to win bronze in the next match. And so we were seated to meet Korea in the semi-finals. And so the first question that we got asked as a team and the coach included, Coach Lee, was, “So how does it feel to be shooting for bronze tomorrow?” Because that’s โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: That’s just the assumption.

Jake Kaminski: That is the assumption.

Tim Ferriss: That’s such a dick question. God.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, so I don’t even know who the actual media outlet was, but it’s like, “So how does it feel to be shooting for bronze?” It’s like, “Have you been watching at all?” We are at the US men at that time, we’re ranked number one in the world as a team round because we were winning World Cup events, which are world ranking events leading up to that and doing quite well. The Koreans were ranked second in the world and we had beat them several times on the World Cup scale, but of course everybody’s just assuming that they’re going to be dominant because they had won for the last decade straight or more. And so yeah, it was a interesting wake up call to all of a sudden be like, “What? Can you ask that question again?” And yeah, so it was just a shock to say the least, but the power of positive affirmations.

By that time, I started changing my thought process and talking, not just “I am an Olympian.” Period. It became much more powerful and actionable and timely. So tying smart goals into positive affirmations of “I am an Olympian,” or “I am 2012 Olympic champion because I run my mental program more than any other archer.” Period. So it’s not just “I am.” Not just “I am an Olympian.” “I am an Olympian at this specific time at this specific event for this specific reason. And that specific reason is something that I’ve identified as an absolutely crucial thing to do every single shot in order to succeed.” And so that’s how I ended up talking to myself at that time frame, to that level of detail. And so of course whatever our response to the media was at that time, I’m not exactly sure.

Tim Ferriss: What did Coach Lee say?

Jake Kaminski: Well, Coach Lee, we had a lot of opportunity to talk to a lot of media leading up to the event. So we get to London 15 days before the start of the competition and we’re there training and media’s there asking us questions during sessions that we book. And so the Korean media was coming in, asking Coach Lee questions about basically the same kind of thing. How does it feel to win silver before we haven’t even shot an arrow yet, essentially? And he started saying things in Korean, responding to them as their questions were in Korean as well. And you could just see the shock of this reporter’s face, right? And even the cameraman’s like โ€” just this response. And so after the media left, we asked Coach Lee, “So what did you say to them?” He said, “Let’s just put it this way. I don’t think I’m going to be welcome back in Korea.”

So I don’t know what he said. He didn’t really fill in the details there, but the idea was essentially that the power that we had as a team of the confidence. Not just the archers individually, the archers as a team because we were really the first and only team to compete as a team in that tournament. So normally, it’s individual. It’s an individual sport. That’s what it is. That’s what the prestige is. And you happen to have three individuals that come together to compete as a team, but they’re just still shooting as individuals. If somebody shoots, say, worse than the others, it’s easy to kind of point fingers and be like, “That’s the reason why we didn’t win.” Because it’s an individual sport. It’s like we’re a team. We win as a team, we lose as a team. And so we had that genuine change. Our main focus was team rounds. It was not individual, the three of us, because there’s 12 other teams and there’s 64 other individuals.

You only have to win three matches to be in the medals in team rounds, whereas you have to win five or six matches to be in an individual medal. And so statistically it’s much easier to medal as a team than as an individual. So we genuinely trained every day once we selected the team leading up to that event as a team. Encouraging each other, learning each other’s shot. Not just learning each other’s shot, but during this head-to-head match play there’s no time for equipment failures. So if your equipment breaks, you can’t go fix it. So usually you have a backup bow and the backup bow is just there and it’s kind of working. You do your best to make it as good as your primary bow, but it’s your backup bow for a reason. It just doesn’t shoot as well for whatever reason. And Coach Lee basically said, “Backup bows are pointless because if your main bow breaks, you’re mentally just going to be shot. So what’s the point? Don’t even bother setting up a backup bow.” And so we actually shot each other’s primary bows as our backup bows.

Tim Ferriss: Wow.

Jake Kaminski: So I shot Brady’s Bow and I shot Jacob Wukie’s bow.

Tim Ferriss: Well, hold on a second. Hold on. So how similar are your draw lengths and your ape index in terms of โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, not at all. But the thing is I’m using โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Ape index is โ€” anyway, you guys can look it up, but it’s just like your physical proportions are not the same. And at that level, certainly everything is โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Everything mixed.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” customized.

Jake Kaminski: For sure. Not just that, the balance of the bow, the feel of the grip, the sight pin, all of those things. And so the thing that is constant is our arrows, so we use our same arrow. And our clickers, the device that’s a draw check, was roughly in the same place. I think the only exception was one of us and Brady chose to not even bother with a clicker when he was shooting one of our bows as a backup. He would just pull back, control the shot and execute good shots and deal with that. Whereas I used their clickers and essentially I learned that I think Brady’s bow, maybe I hit low eight. So about eight, 10 inches low at 70 meters. So I would just aim high eight with his bow. And Jacob Wukie’s, I’d have to aim low right blue or something crazy to actually have the arrow land in the middle.

Tim Ferriss: Wow.

Jake Kaminski: So we just played this game.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, yeah.

Jake Kaminski: And so it was just this level of intimacy, per se, as a team that no one else had in the world because they all trained as individuals, not as a team.

Tim Ferriss: So a couple of questions, then, because I guess to even me listening, I’m like, “Well, it’s still kind of an individual thing.” I used to wrestle way back in the day, right? And it’s like, okay, yeah, you’re a team and you want to be supportive, the backup bow, using someone else’s primary as your backup? It’s super interesting. This is the first time I’m hearing of it. Are there any other strategies where, let’s just say, I’m making this up, but, okay, it’s like the wind is gusting and the first person up is going to have to deal with the brunt of it, you think. So you pick the person who seems to be best in high winds. I’m making that up. I have no idea, but is there any other strategy that you can build around the team?

Jake Kaminski: Yes. I mean, so for us, and the wind is actually was part of it, we’ll get to that in a second, but if you approach team rounds as an individual, you’re working on your own shot and that’s it. So you either shoot a 10 or you don’t. And your teammate, who’s also your opponent in individuals, either shoots a 10 or he doesn’t. And that’s just how it normally works, but what we did was we worked with each other to understand a little bit more about each other’s shot cycle, each other’s mental approach. What makes someone better than doesn’t? Do you want to hear your name when you’re at full draw? Like, “Come on, Tim, shoot a 10,” or do you want just, “All right, strong shot.” Something that’s general, but not specific to you.

And so there’s little things that you learn, but then also there’s a supreme trust in each other. And so in team rounds you have to communicate with each other how the shot went and then ultimately where did the arrow go compared to how the shot went. And then the next shooter makes adjustments based on that because the wind is always changing.

Tim Ferriss: I see. Right. So each person is a feedback mechanism for everyone else.

Jake Kaminski: Exactly. And also the coaches, too, because he has this third person view. He’s not shooting but he’s able to look at stuff, the wind blowing in different areas. And actually, the very specific thing that Coach Lee did with the wind that we couldn’t as archers because of a piece of clothing choice that he made different than us at that day. The day being when we shot for medals. So if we just fast forward to the actual medal rounds, we are in the semi-final match against Korea. We almost lose our first match. We’re very close to actually losing and just barely squeaked by by a point or two, but there was no doubt that we were ever going to lose, at least in my head. I had no fear of that. I was so supremely confident because of this affirmation, the power of it that there was never a doubt. Even when we were behind in the match, it just was like it’s supposed to happen this way apparently.

And once we got to the semifinal against Korea, everybody said that was the gold medal match of the games, actually, because everybody wanted to see that. Korea was a powerhouse. US was ranked number one. It’s the Olympic games. What’s going to happen? Everybody’s watching. We actually had, I think, the highest viewership of any Olympic sport at the 2012 Olympics during that match.

Tim Ferriss: That’s wild.

Jake Kaminski: They put us on TV because we were the first medal of the US, our first chance to get a medal. And back then it was Twitter and I had comments saying, “I love my sports team.” Whatever it is, the Sabres, or the Buffalo Bills, or whatever, people from my hometown. And they’re like, “I have never stood on my couch and screamed at the TV, but I did when I saw archery at the Olympics.”

Tim Ferriss: That’s incredible.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, so cool stuff. Anyway, so the wind. Usually we have a windsock. The windsock is not a calibrated windsock. So meaning if it’s at a certain angle, it’s a certain speed. We don’t do that in archery for whatever reason, but it’s always at 50 meters. So the distance we shoot is 70, the flag is three fifths of the way down range or so, and it’s always on a specific pole at a specific height. And you have every so often they’re placed. And so you have a general consistent reference as to what the windsock’s doing and how you can guess where to aim. And that’s ultimately as best as you can do, is guess. And so we were shooting at Lord’s Cricket Ground and on the pitch where they throw the ball back or bowl the ball back and forth to each other, the people who stand on that, the lawn care people, are anointed by the Queen to be allowed to stand on the hallowed ground.

The lawnmower is anointed by the Queen to be allowed to mow her grass. But because our windsock and the stand that held that windsock was not anointed by the Queen or whatever they call it, it was not allowed to be there. So they put it in a different location that it ever had been at any other event. We’re also shooting in a stadium. Within the stadium is another stadium inside of that stadium where the archery fans are sitting. And the stands go down probably 50 meters. There’s several thousands of people in the stand and it kind of fans out towards the target. And so we’re guessing. We’re genuinely guessing where to aim. Ultimately, before that match, Coach Lee was like, “Trust me, I know where you need to aim.” Okay, you’re not shooting. How do you know? I’m the lead off, Jacob Wukie shoots second, Brady Ellison shoots third. And I have to do my job when I lead off to shoot a supremely confident shot.

Tim Ferriss: Clean shots.

Jake Kaminski: Clean shot.

Tim Ferriss: So you can use that to calibrate for everybody else.

Jake Kaminski: Correct. Or be so in tune with my shot when I make an error, I know, or can essentially estimate, where that arrow should land, and then compare where it actually lands to where it should land, and then suggest to Jacob Wukie where to aim. So to give you an idea as a quick sidetrack, when I let go of the string at 70 meters, I can tell you within the size of about a baseball where that arrow’s going on the target the moment I let it go because I’ve shot so many arrows. I verified where it went on the target looking through a spotting scope and attributed my feeling of how the shot went to where it landed. And so I can just tell you exactly where it’s going to go.

And so that’s my job as lead off. Coach Lee’s wearing shorts. We’re wearing pants. He can feel the wind blowing on his leg hairs and he’s like, “Aim left nine.” Okay.

Tim Ferriss: That’s wild.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, so good luck finding any other team that has ever worked that closely together. We ultimately ended up winning and then went on to lose the gold medal match by a fraction of an inch at 70 meters away. But I mean, ultimately everyone came up to us afterwards and said, “That was the gold medal match, regardless of how the actual medals end.” So supreme confidence in that positive statements, those positive affirmations of just supreme faith and belief in the process as it’s happening, even if it’s not going well. Our first match when we were losing, we were behind the first several ends of the match and the matches are only four ends.

Tim Ferriss: So an end is somebody getting up and shooting a group of arrows?

Jake Kaminski: Correct. So as a team, that would be each archer shoots two arrows. So that’s a total of six arrows. That’s an end. And then a cumulative score at that time was shot. So whoever had the highest score of 24 arrows after four ends, because that’s the total amount shot, that team won in advanced in the match.

Tim Ferriss: All right, that’s an incredible story. That’s crazy. I’ve never heard a bunch of these. This is wild. In all the time we’ve spent together, it’s nuts. For comedic relief, because you mentioned the Korean media interviews and them looking shocked talking to Coach Lee, so I’ll just share a sidebar on Coach Lee because I’ve had a little bit of interaction. So I flew to San Diego because we did a little bit of training together and I wanted to meet this famous Coach Lee. Why not?

Jake Kaminski: So I made the introduction and said, “Hey, Coach Lee. Tim would like to work with you.”

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. And so I land in San Diego and a few things that are, I think, fun to share. So the first is we meet at this outdoor range and I’m going to be shooting mostly at 20 yards. So 60 feet, let’s just call it, roughly. And we hang out for 45 minutes. I’m taking copious notes, he’s giving me some pointers, and then we stop and he’s like, “Okay, I think you have plenty to work with and I don’t think you need my help anymore.” And I was like “Uh,” because I’ve flown down, planning to be there for a week or something. Five days, something along those lines.

Jake Kaminski: Not just to be there for five days, but to โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: To be there explicitly to train with him. And so at some point I’m like a bit crestfallen and I’m like, “Oh, man,” letting my head hang like Eeyore. I’m like, “Oh, fuck, I do feel like I need more help.” Somehow we get talking about firearms and guns and he is very interested in marksmanship and all things firearms. And so he gets more excited and we’re chatting, we’re talking about this, that, and the other thing. And then he asks me, “So what brings you to San Diego?” And I was like, “Well, maybe this sounds strange, but I flew here to train with you.” And he’s like, “Oh, okay. All right, tonight’s Korean barbecue.” And so we go out to dinner and end up having an amazing time training with him. And he’s really one of a kind. And also, the reason I was mentioning the shocked look on the faces of the Korean media is you do not worry about Coach Lee speaking his mind.

Jake Kaminski: No. So direct.

Tim Ferriss: You do not have to worry about him sugarcoating things. And to give you an example later, I ended up driving to his house behind which he has all these targets set up. And basically, I was the only non-Asian there. Absolutely 100 percent the only non-Asian there, which is fine. It’s just a Korean army and tons of Korean kids. Also some Taiwanese kids and Chinese kids, but they’re all 12 years old and shooting, by my standards, especially at that point, incredibly well. And I’m off in the corner getting some pointers from Coach Lee and just looking like a total remedial case, which is fine. And then at one point he wants to give pep talk to the kids and he’s like, “Tim, Tim, come over.” Okay. And so we all stand in a circle and he’s giving this very Coach Lee motivational talk, which is like 60 percent inspiration, 40 percent like you need to shape up or ship out, toughen up kids.

And at one point I’m wondering why I’m in this circle. And he points to me and he’s like, “Look, this is Tim and he is an old man, a very old man. And he’s here training, seriously.” And I was like, “Oh, I see.” If I can be an inspirational/warning tale for these amazing young children with so much promise, I’m in. I’m in for it, I’m in for it. But it’s just so endearing and the guy’s a genius. I mean, he is really one of a kind. Okay, so those are my Coach Lee stories. Thank you, Coach Lee. 

Let’s talk about your coaching and what we ended up doing and all the experiments along the way because you mentioned, for instance, Coach Lee’s feeling the leg hair and the movement, and you’re providing feedback, you’re getting familiar with one another’s shot cycles. The little things matter.

It is hard for me to explain verbally just how many tiny, tiny, tiny details make a huge difference with archery. And just the way you hook your fingers on the string, the exact placement, how far it is from the fold of one joint, the amount of curl of the fingers, how much do you use your, you’re using in this case, index, middle and ring finger. The degree to which you can see or not see as a coach my nail on my ring finger and the difference that makes, the angle of the back of the hand and the difference that makes. The level of detail is really unbelievable when you want to start training and performing with precision.

Jake Kaminski: Absolutely.

Tim Ferriss: Okay, so I find you, we meet up and then ultimately about six months out from Lancaster decide to take it seriously. Now there are few constraints, right? One is you live in Florida. I do not live in Florida, so we have limited in-person training. Although I think we did a good job with that, what would you say? Maybe on average, was it a few days a month or a week every six weeks, something like that?

Jake Kaminski: Probably somewhere in that timeframe, but I think I was maybe there for three to four days once every six weeks. 

Tim Ferriss: And we’re doing a lot of virtual training. I travel a lot. So if there are awards for most varied training environments, I think I would win that one hands down.

Jake Kaminski: For sure in the barebow division.

Tim Ferriss: In the barebow, yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Absolutely. The only exception would be if you’re a professional archer who is traveling the world competing, but that’s the only exception. And there’s no one doing that in barebow.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Not even remotely.

Tim Ferriss: So I ended up bringing my roller bag, which looks like it’s carrying an assault rifle. Customs did not love this bag. They’re like, “Sir, what’s in the bag?”

Jake Kaminski: “Sporting gear.”

Tim Ferriss: Sporting gear is the answer. That’s how you get your bow and arrow through customs, but I traveled all over the place, all over the country in the US certainly. And I would check my targets and often it’s just a big cube of foam. And they’d be like, “Sir, what’s in the box?” And I’m like, “There’s nothing in the box.” And they’d be like, “Sir, I need you to be serious right now. What’s in the cube?” I’m like, “It’s solid foam.” And they’re like, “Yeah, but what’s inside it?” I’m like, “Foam.” And this would go on and on and on. And going to Hawaii, going to Canada, going to the UK where I ended up going on this pilgrimage trail, the Cotswold Way. And at every tiny inn I would have to negotiate, try to pitch my little heart out to shoot in the backyard or anywhere. I ended up shooting from inside a hotel to outside the hotel. I ended up shooting from outside a hotel through the living room, through the kitchen, into a laundry room where I hit a target.

Jake Kaminski: Pickleball courts.

Tim Ferriss: Pickleball courts.

Jake Kaminski: Tennis courts.

Tim Ferriss: Tennis courts, just โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Batting cages.

Tim Ferriss: Batting cages, right. Where you have kids whacking balls with aluminum bats and screeching and hooting and hollering.

Jake Kaminski: Eight feet from you.

Tim Ferriss: Eight feet from you.

Jake Kaminski: Deafening.

Tim Ferriss: If you want distraction training, that’s a great way to do it. So we had some things to work around, but the forcing function was for me, and this is always the case, the magic of a deadline. And having a competition on the books, which I wasn’t 100 percent committed to. When I was like, “Let me behave as if, let me train as if I’m going to compete.” It’s like I don’t want to embarrass myself, I don’t want to embarrass you. Let’s see how it goes. I remember probably a few months out paying the registration fee and I’m like, “Okay, now my name is online for everybody to see.” That probably means I should go. And then the question is, all right, what do you do if you have six months to train? And a few things come to mind immediately.

Number one is you’re always going to have things to work around. So it could be logistics, could be, in my case, my left shoulder, which was reconstructed in 2004 and it was a real limiter. Had many different physiological limiters. Right now I have a bunch of torn extensors. I mean, they’re probably going to require surgery in my right elbow, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. It’s like, “Okay, well, we will have to just work around it.” And lo and behold, you can work around. You might have to make some compromises. Absolutely. Okay, fine. But it’s like if, for instance, as we experienced, if shooting with a particular stance causes my back to seize up and it’s producing a lot of incredible pain, okay, we’ll make a few compromises on that in order to minimize that. And then that’s going to trigger a whole chain of other adaptations that we need to make. And like you, I guess as a kid, I very quickly found it meditative. Archery was almost like taking a break from my monkey mind, right?

Jake Kaminski: For sure.

Tim Ferriss: And particularly when you start to focus on, and this is something we focused on pretty early, I want to give Joel Turner, again, credit, Shot IQ in terms of the boot up sequence and blueprinting your best shots, really having a script for your checklist, like your pre-flight checklist, as you’re going through your entire shooting motion and having, for instance, positive affirmation. Where do you put that? You want to put it in the same place every single time.

Jake Kaminski: Absolutely.

Tim Ferriss: And then I would say also recognizing that given some of the physical limitations, it’s like, okay, I can’t do 500 hours a day. Forget it. When we first โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: We started at 60-something arrows of limit a day, I think.

Tim Ferriss: Max.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, that was the absolute max.

Tim Ferriss: Yep, and โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: A lot of that had to do with very typical Tim Ferriss fashion, as I know now, to over do everything to 11 out of four.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I was basically doing a Mr. Olympia pose down every time I was trying to shoot the arrow. So there was a lot more tension in the system than was necessary, which is just, in fairness, in my own defense, really common. Go to a range and watch, especially guys who have a little bit of muscle shooting these things and it’s like, whoa, okay, this guy’s trying to hulk his own shirt off.

Jake Kaminski: But for you, the challenge was you had actual injuries, actual limitations. So how much were those affecting the system versus the excessive tension? And it was this back and forth juggling to figure out what was the cause.

Tim Ferriss: What was what. Yeah, so there’s a lot of detective work. And for instance, in the left shoulder you have two titanium screws, had the whole arm ripped out doing some combat sports stuff a million years ago and my arm ended up sticking out of my chest basically. And I won’t get into all the gory details, but suffice to say, when you tack down the shoulder with these, you create some limitations. And as a consequence of that, I had a lot of tendinosis in rotator cuff muscles. Infraspinatus, supraspinatus, they’re a mess. Really, really tangled up. So what that means is like, okay, how do we work around this rather than do I need to stop? I mean, look, there are times when you need to stop. Right now with this elbow that requires surgery. I’m probably going to have to take a break from the hard stuff for a little while, two to three months. But outside of that, it’s like, okay, how do we work around this?

And that took a bunch of different forms, including rather than trying to whack out, we ultimately got to the point when we were training in person. At least that we were doing, what, 200 plus arrows on some days?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, absolutely.

Tim Ferriss: And there were many aspects to that. And then we can talk about some of the technical stuff, but just from the physical workaround perspective, when I started practicing, there were a few things that I would do. And all of this we talked about and I was building off of your advice. So rather than doing one session, break it into two sessions. And also, start and end your sessions with blank bale practice. All right, do you want to explain what blank bale is? Because this avoids the target panic that you mentioned earlier and I think is an incredible tool, that I found it very, very helpful. What is blank bale practice?

Jake Kaminski: So blank bale is, so the target bale is blank. There’s no target face on it, nothing to aim at, not even a spot, a shadow, a hole or whatever. You can do small amounts of aiming, per se, but it is not for the sake of precision. It’s not trying to hit the 10 ring or anything like that. What it does is it removes the aiming requirement or the aiming distraction from the process.

Tim Ferriss: And when you were at the high level using blank bale practice, how far away from the target are you standing?

Jake Kaminski: Generally speaking for blank bale, I would be eight feet or so from the target. So you’re never going to miss. And so you’re just simply going through repetition. It’s like a palate cleanser, almost. So you go through your motions, you go through your shot process, but you’re not aiming at anything. So you can confidently move through the movements without being careful or over analytical or get yourself in a bind. That can happen when you’re aiming at a target. So it allows you to ingrain your technique to a level that really trains the subconscious brain to try to take over when you’re in pressure situations. And it also allows you to put in a lot more repetition without so much time spent walking the distance to go down to the target. So for me, going down to 70 meters takes a bit of time to walk that distance. So instead, I can just walk eight feet, pull my arrows and pick up my bow and immediately start shooting again.

So that’s what it meant to me. And the amount of training at blank bale really depends on what you’re working on at that time, but generally speaking more is better because it really allows you to focus on the process and ingrain your steps. You talked about the level of detail with just the hook alone. To be able to ingrain that to be automated to where you grab the string and you don’t even have to think about it, you have to put in the reps. And so if you’re putting in the reps and you’re distracted by aiming, it can take away your focus on that grip, on that hook, or whatever it may be.

Tim Ferriss: Exactly. So I could use it for warming up in the beginning of a session, let’s say the beginning of the first session. And then towards the end, I’d be like, “Okay, look, I got, as anyone competitive as likely to do, overly fixated on the scoring, and the aiming โ€” “

Jake Kaminski: Sure, the performance.

Tim Ferriss: ” โ€” the performance. Let me end on a good rep.” And so ending the training practices with blank bale just allowed me to settle the snow globe a bit, focus on the biomechanics. Particularly, something, I mean, at least I took this approach, in the training session, if I notice, oh, you know what, I am collapsing a little bit, meaning losing back tension in the following way, A, B, or C is happening. Or maybe I’m not pulling my bow hand pinky back enough, and therefore I’m landing right, or whatever.

I’m just going to focus on that for my blank bale. That’s going to be my most important cue, particularly in the beginning. Because if you try to incorporate too much too quickly, you’re going to get the Mac ball of death beach ball.

Jake Kaminski: For sure.

Tim Ferriss: You’re not going to be able to divide your attention and maintain any type of performance in the beginning. So a lot of what I found so valuable with your coaching was the layering.

Jake Kaminski: Sure.

Tim Ferriss: When do you choose to introduce certain things?

Jake Kaminski: Sure.

Tim Ferriss: And I also really liked the focus on biomechanics. So the blank bale you could think of, in a way, as if, let’s just say you’re, I don’t even know if they do this, but I’m making it up, let’s just say you’re a major league pitcher, and it’s like, all right, you’re trying to focus on some aspect of your throw, without the distraction of trying to put it right into the sweet spot of a catcher’s mitt. Then let’s just say you had a very, very large net hanging. It’s like 20 feet just hanging down, and you were just throwing the ball into this net, and working on the biomechanics.

Jake Kaminski: It would be similar to dry fire training with a pistol or something.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, very similar. Similar to dry firing, which you should never do with a bow.

Jake Kaminski: Correct.

Tim Ferriss: We talk about that in our video. Unless you want your bow to explode, literally โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Do not do that.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” don’t do that. And I’m trying to think in the early stages, what, because it was a detective process, right? And my mind is a little unusual at times, and I process things a little differently. So do you recall what some of the early most important things were that we focused on in training?

Jake Kaminski: A lot of them were conceptual things, not necessarily technical, physical, but thought process, how does the shot go? What should you be trying to achieve kind of things. So a lot of those are really setting up kind of the process of how to shoot a bow, not necessarily how to shoot tens with a bow. So how to shoot tens with a bow comes later, I think. I’m not sure about that, but โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, and tens, just if people are getting distracted, just think about shooting both sides.

Jake Kaminski: Yes. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So not how to put it in the middle, how to shoot a good shot. And so there are some really key factors that are super important to actually shooting a good shot.

One of those is follow through. It’s a very simple thing to explain. If you think of somebody, say, throwing a ball or kicking a ball, the moment of contact of the foot hitting the ball when you kick the ball is when you let go of the string for shooting archery. Or when you let go of the baseball when you’re throwing it, that’s the moment you let go of the string in shooting archery. And so follow through is what happens after that motion. No one ever, in any other sport, including baseball and soccer, stop their motion of their foot or their arm the moment they let go of the object or make contact with it. It just doesn’t happen. Same thing with golf, right?

So the stuff happens afterwards. That’s a follow through motion. That is a maintaining of your, in archery we call it tension and direction. You maintain that through follow through. So tension and direction being, you pull back the bow, it’s wanting to collapse you. So you have to build tension against the bow, the system, and whatever direction that is going, back with the string hand and forward with the bow hand. That tension and direction has to maintain exactly how it is when you’re at full draw, through the release, until the follow through finishes.

So that would be the principle of tension and direction, and just follow through in general. It’s a very simple concept to imagine, but it’s quite difficult to implement. So we worked a lot on the technical aspects of how to apply that physically, throughout the months or years, because we’ve been working together for a couple of years now. But really, that last six months leading up to Lancaster, trying to hone that in to be fluid, one motion, not fake, not two points.

So not letting go of the string, losing all that tension of the string hand, and then faking a follow through motion. So it’s like, for those that are watching, the motion would look something similar as, so the hand touching the face at anchor, the fingers opening, the arm not moving, and then moving back in a second motion. So a good follow through would be the same fluid backward motion of the elbow, the same exact time that the fingers are pushed out of the way of the string. And then that tension just continues until you run out of range of motion with the shoulder.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I mean, imagine, just for a visual for folks, if you had a TheraBand, or a giant rubber band, and you got into an archery position, and you’re holding that rubber band at max tension, the way that it would simulate holding the string of a bow. And then you closed your eyes and somebody walked up and just cut the rubber band.

Jake Kaminski: Correct. What would happen?

Tim Ferriss: And the arms kept going.

Jake Kaminski: Correct.

Tim Ferriss: Obviously, you didn’t expect it. And that would be what you then have to do consciously, on some level. It should take care of itself if you’re using โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: The proper thought process.

Tim Ferriss: Proper thought process and proper tension in the back and not in the arm or the bicep.

Jake Kaminski: But even if the tension is improper in the back or the arm, the follow through will happen if you have that concept of maintaining whatever tension it is, right or wrong when you’re at full draw, but you continue through release.

Tim Ferriss: Well, and this also relates to the inner monologue.

Jake Kaminski: Exactly.

Tim Ferriss: Right? So when you’re at anchor, okay, so you’ve got the string’s fully pulled back. Again, for people listening who are not familiar with archery, your hand is glued to your face, or under the jaw in the case of Olympic archery. Okay, now at this point, what are you saying to yourself? Or what do you sometimes say to yourself?

Jake Kaminski: For me?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Really just, there’s a lot of different options.

Tim Ferriss: There are a lot of different options.

Jake Kaminski: But basically just continued motion.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, continue motion โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Continue the back shoulder moving around and behind me, and the bow moving forward.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, or finish the shot.

Jake Kaminski: Correct. Or finish the shot. So one of the things that I talked to Coach Lee about, somewhat recently, when I had dinner with him about a year and a half ago or so was, “So anything new to share?”

And one of his responses, well, he chuckled first, and then his response was, “You’re not going to like this,” or “Others won’t like this,” actually. And he said, “release is not a step anymore. We do not release the string.”

And I said, “Tell me more.” He said, “Well, if you follow through, and your main primary focus when you are at full draw, before you let go of the string, is to follow through correctly, the release will take care of itself.” If you maintain and execute a good proper follow through, your release is good. But if you’re focused on the release, you cannot then switch your brain fast enough to the follow through motion. Because the follow through, it’s frankly a reaction, not an action. So it tells you everything about the tension that you’ve built up in the system when you’re at full draw.

So it’s my job to watch you and see the motion that the elbow moves, and the hand moves, and the bow hand moves, and all sorts of different spots of the body, even your head movement. The moment the string comes off your fingers, what direction does a particular body part move? And that the motion of that body part tells me the tension that you have at full draw.

Because I’ve shot enough arrows, and I’ve watched enough people with enough intention and attention to look at their form, analyze it, and just overall just watch, I can see where the tension is built. And then a lot of the stuff that we did working together was, when you’re at full draw, I’m behind you and I’m making motions and doing things to feel what you are feeling.

So I can assume that if the hand’s coming out, there’s a change of tension going outward of the release hand coming away from your face when you let go, instead of maintaining that line along your neck as it comes back off your face. So if I mimic what you’re doing, I get a bit of an insight as to what you’re feeling. And then I can communicate with you nearly at the same language, hopefully. Maybe not using the same words, but at least trying to meet you where you’re at.

Tim Ferriss: Or tap the muscle I should be feeling as a primary mover when I’m supposed to feel it.

Jake Kaminski: Correct. Correct. Correct, yes. And I only get that based on looking at what you’re doing, and just overall trying to really just tear down the shot and see what’s happening on the inside.

Tim Ferriss: So flashing back then, thinking about, say the six months leading up to Lancaster, a couple of things. So one is, I, for a very long time, people are going to find this pretty funny, number one, I didn’t care about hitting the bullseye. I did care about grouping. Right?

Jake Kaminski: Yep.

Tim Ferriss: So I wanted arrows to land very close to one another.

Jake Kaminski: Correct.

Tim Ferriss: But if they were bottom left, top right, my assumption was, and I’m sure this is based off of conversations we had, if you’re shooting consistently, if you’re getting good groups consistently, it’s not just a one-off lucky bunch of arrows, then moving that on the target face is, I’m not going to say necessarily simple, but it ended up being pretty straightforward as we got further down.

Jake Kaminski: Sure. Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: But doing the blank bale, I mean, it got to the point with the blank bale where granted it’s like for me, 10 feet away, 12 feet away, whatever, that these arrows were just getting clumped right on top of one another. Even if I shot, I know this is maybe not your favorite thing, but I did this too, sometimes releasing with my eyes closed.

Jake Kaminski: Sure.

Tim Ferriss: And then later, I mean, how long before Lancaster did I start aiming with the crest of the Aratum?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, so about two weeks. So what Tim was doing was having blind faith that the arrow would land in the middle, by using instinctive aiming, per se.

Tim Ferriss: Well, I was also doing a few things that you recommended. Because in fairness, we tried to have me aim earlier. And I had, for the first time, target panic, with the understanding that the tip is always going to move.

Jake Kaminski: Sure.

Tim Ferriss: But I started to develop this anxiety around shooting.

Jake Kaminski: Because you didn’t want to let it go when the point wasn’t right on the middle.

Tim Ferriss: Exactly. Wasn’t right on the bullseye, so to speak. And I also didn’t have the biomechanical control, and the conditioning, which had to compensate for all sorts of things โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” to do it effectively. Right?

Jake Kaminski: And we also hadn’t adjusted your bow either. Because we did make compromises within your equipment to help work with the shoulder and other things.

Tim Ferriss: We did a bunch of stuff that we won’t necessarily get into, because it gets really technical. But a lot of things that would confuse even certain experienced folks, like the upper and lower limbs where you would attach the string, switching those and making all sorts of tweaks to the equipment, to compensate, or to allow this compromised shoulder to function.

Jake Kaminski: To work with you.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Not against you.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, exactly. I mean, because for instance, the more weight โ€” I mean, there’s a point of diminishing returns, but since you can’t put stabilizers on a barebow, people add weight. They just have to keep the weight very close to the bow because this ring has to be able to pass over the whole thing for you to use it in competition. But people had quite a bit of weight. And it helps to stabilize things.

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: But I could not. Tried, but I couldn’t do it. My shoulder would develop all sorts of pain, and tendon issues, and just couldn’t do it. 

Jake Kaminski: And ultimately, you could only shoot 60 arrows in a session.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, exactly.

Jake Kaminski: You couldn’t put in the amount of arrows that was actually required to be proficient.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, exactly. So I was like, okay, we’re going to make yet another trade-off, which is, I’m going to sacrifice some of the stability in order to be able to add more volume.

Jake Kaminski: Correct. But the point was to allow you to work with the system. And because, when we first started aiming, you started aiming early on, that distraction because you weren’t yet there physically, pulled you out of the process.

Tim Ferriss: If we were to lay out step-by-step every single checkpoint that I go through or you go through, I mean โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: We’d be here for three hours.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, we’d be here for three hours. It’s like 25 steps. I mean, I’m exaggerating a little bit, but yeah.

Jake Kaminski: 25 steps for my hook.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I mean, actually you’re right. If I were to go through every single checkpoint, it’s like hundreds.

Jake Kaminski: Hundreds.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, like a hundred checklist points for every shot. And until you have a critical mass of those steps on autopilot, you cannot add more steps.

Jake Kaminski: Correct.

Tim Ferriss: And therefore, given the compressed timeline we were dealing with, it was also waiting for my nervous system to adapt. And for that reason, sometimes, if you’re trying to grease the groove with a particular motor pattern, it’s like, okay, lighter limbs are fine. Dial it down.

Jake Kaminski: Yep, yep.

Tim Ferriss: Then, so in terms of my instinctive approach, where we found a compromise was, all right, you’re not going to try to put the arrow tip or the crest of the arrow on the bullseye. Again, for simplicity, just saying that.

However, there are a few things you are going to do. You’re going to burn a hole into the very center of the target with your eyes, and you’re going to, people think of shooting an arrow, if they haven’t had a lot of experience, as pulling back and letting go. But you have this equal and opposite action in pushing forward with the bow hand.

Jake Kaminski: Correct.

Tim Ferriss: And there’s a lot of technical detail that goes into how you do that. But basically, pushing a portion of your palm, kind of the right next to your lifeline in the meaty pad of the thumb, let’s just say, roughly.

Jake Kaminski: Where your wrist meets your palm.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, exactly. And pushing that also. So you’re burning a hole into the target in a very dead center, and you’re pushing that point on your palm also towards the exact center of the target.

Jake Kaminski: Despite whatever you’re seeing, as far as your sight picture [inaudible 01:55:37].

Tim Ferriss: Right. And your sight picture. So don’t worry about where the tip of the arrow is. And maybe I said it, maybe you said, I can’t remember. We ended up calling this the Jesus takes the wheel approach. Jesus take the wheel. And it was shocking to see what happened, because more often than not, I would shoot better with that type of approach.

Jake Kaminski: And it worked surprisingly well.

Tim Ferriss: It worked surprisingly well.

Jake Kaminski: Until โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, yeah, it worked surprisingly well, until. I guess we just decided โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: It was working.

Tim Ferriss: It wasn’t reliable. I mean, to give you an idea, and this will mean more to people who’ve shot some arrows. But when I was hitting, and I had some pretty good scores in practice.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Like, I don’t know โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Into the 270s, I believe.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, 270. So like 540 โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: 270 out of 330. So decent. And the goal for where you were wanting to be was 252 plus. So you were in excess of your score goal for Lancaster?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. I wanted to qualify for the top 64 shooters at Lancaster.

Jake Kaminski: Correct. Yes.

Tim Ferriss: And so we trained using my Jesus take the wheel approach, for up until a few weeks before Lancaster, because I was a little gun shy after having so much trouble with trying to hold the point in one place, or roughly floating around.

Jake Kaminski: And Jesus taking the wheel was working so well.

Tim Ferriss: Was working. It was working really well until we started having really variable lighting conditions, and we started dialing in the technique and the biomechanics for more precision.

Jake Kaminski: And when we went to some test events, essentially. Not a test event, per se, but a local club shoot to see how things are going.

Tim Ferriss: Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, that’s a great point. So Lancaster was โ€” I mean, I don’t recommend this guys, so if you can do a ton of warm-up tournaments before the big tournament, I highly recommend doing that. Just didn’t really work out that way. But we went to a number of league nights, and two small events at the Easton Range in Salt Lake City, which is awesome.

Jake Kaminski: I think you shot Utah State Shoots or something like that as a guest or whatever.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, went in and basically just audited the thing, right?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: And to try to get competition condition experience. And there are a few things that we noticed. So one is, in that environment, the bale, so the canvas upon which you put the target, the backstop, is black. And all of a sudden my eyes started doing funny things. And I couldn’t see the arrow tip as well. Now the reason that’s relevant is, I wasn’t trying to place the tip of the arrow in the center of the target, but I would try to see it so that I could tell if I was roughly in the center of the target. So I would pay attention to the left right.

Jake Kaminski: And just really quick, for those that don’t know, with barebow, you use the tip of your arrow as your aiming reference. Part of the game is there is no sight. So you’re using the tip of the arrow as your aiming reference, and then you’re placing that in a particular place every single time to shoot a group in the middle.

Tim Ferriss: Yep. Exactly. So all of a sudden, and thank God we did these test events, which I always have done in any other sport also. You just do not know what’s going to happen and how you’re going to respond in competition conditions until you do it. And so there are a few things I think we did right. There are a lot of things we did. But doing those warm-up tournaments, thank God those were there. And with the black bale, the black background, that ended up being โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: It wasn’t just a black bale, It’s also a black stand, and the wall behind it was also black. It was just all out, just dark.

Tim Ferriss: It was dark. And so I could not reliably track because my arrow tip, people who have done barebowing are going to find this funny, it was like three feet below the center of the target. I mean, it was really, really low.

Jake Kaminski: But you could still see it.

Tim Ferriss: I could still see it, but it was hard to discern with that particular black bale and everything around it. And so what ended up happening in competition is I was all over the place.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. It wasn’t even just that the black background that was different. It was also the lighting condition too, because the light was very different compared to other places you shot in. So the way you actually perceived objects in space was slightly different. And you could not adjust.

It was all over the place, as you said. But the main thing was, your first few shots were so low. And with barebow, we do what’s called string walking. For those that don’t know, string walking is essentially, you’re not pulling the string back right next to the arrow. You’re actually going down the string, walking down the string. And that affects the trajectory of the arrow. So you can essentially use the arrow point as your sight. So you sight in by walking up and down the string.

Tim Ferriss: And so to put it another way, if you add a sight on your bow or on your gun or whatever, you take some shots, assuming your technique is decent, and then based on where it, okay, it landed bottom left. And then you adjust the sight to move that point of impact.

Jake Kaminski: Correct.

Tim Ferriss: You can’t do that in barebow.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, there’s no actual aiming reference.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, you’re not allowed to use the sight. So what do you do? Well, the first thing is for left right, you do have something called a plunger. You can think of it just as a screw that, it’s much more than that, but it pushes the arrow left or allows it to be more flush right. So you can use that to adjust your left right. But how do you adjust your up down, right?

Jake Kaminski: Correct.

Tim Ferriss: Got a problem. Okay. Well, the way you do that, and there are a lot of different approaches to this, but you’re crawling, so that means you’re using your thumb to basically move your fingers down from the back of the arrow to, let’s just say the further down you go, the further down on the target it’s going to land, and so on. And it needs to be very precise. This is part of what makes barebow so frustrating and so difficult.

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: If you’re, I mean, one millimeter above or below a line โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, you’re using, so you have laser etched marks on your finger tab, the thing that protects your fingers from the string, and it’s a flat piece of metal, and you were trying to be as precise enough to crawl to the top of the laser etched line versus the bottom of the laser etched line, and it’s less than a millimeter wide.

Tim Ferriss: And that makes a difference.

Jake Kaminski: Big difference, absolutely.

Tim Ferriss: In terms of point of impact. Okay, so keeping all this in mind, when I got into those lighting conditions, with everything at play in competition, it was a disaster. I mean, it was all over the place.

Jake Kaminski: It was the worst score you had shot by a long shot.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. And I was like, “Oh, fuck me.” Like โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: This is three weeks, two weeks before Lancaster.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, maybe three weeks out. And I was like, well, if I keep this up, I’m definitely not going to Lancaster because it’ll just be a complete clown car disaster.

Jake Kaminski: Heather and I, my wife and I, we were looking at each other after that day and we’re like, “I really hope Tim still wants to go to Lancaster.”

Tim Ferriss: That was the most frustrated, I think, you guys have ever seen me. It was probably after that one.

Jake Kaminski: There was a lot of statements you were making in regards to never being on such an emotional roller coaster from day to day.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Because that timeframe was really challenging for you.

Tim Ferriss: Oh, it was wild, because I would go from one setting, and we ended up shooting at a CrossFit gym from 7:30 to 10:30 at night. That was the only time and the only location that we could find. And thank you to those guys, what a lifesaver. Chris Spealler, I think it was.

Jake Kaminski: I believe so.

Tim Ferriss: At Park City Fit. Amazing gym. The cleanest gym I’ve ever seen. It was like โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, you could eat off that floor.

Tim Ferriss: You could eat off the floor. It was incredible. So thank you to those guys. So we were training late at night, very different lighting conditions, but I would have a day where I’m like, “Man โ€” “

Jake Kaminski: I can’t miss.

Tim Ferriss: ” โ€” I can’t miss.”

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: I am so far above, I have so many more points than necessary than I need to qualify for the top 64.

Jake Kaminski: Which was your goal.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. And even if I fall, even if I’m 10 percent off of this, I’m good. And then went to this tournament, or mock tournament, in the case of the league nights, and it was an unmitigated disaster.

Jake Kaminski: Like a hundred points under what you wanted to be at.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. And I was just like, “What the hell is going on?” So the reason that I sometimes compare it to golf, even though I’ve only played golf a few times, it’s like, you’re looking at this, you’re like, Okay, there are a hundred different checkpoints, which one is it? If it’s even one of those hundred.” And that’s the detective work.

Jake Kaminski: And so I’m looking at you, and everything going down the list. “Try this, try this, try this, try this, try this, try this.” And then it’s like, “Maybe you should start aiming, I think, because that’s really the only thing that we haven’t done up until this point.”

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, exactly. So we went through the list, it was like, “Nope, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail.” All right, so two weeks out when we start aiming and it started working.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Because you had developed your technique enough that you didn’t have that aiming distracting you from the process, from what you needed to do. And a lot of that work that we did beforehand when you were instinctive aiming, I don’t think we really quite covered that, but instinctive aiming is the tension and direction of the bow arm, and just staring and burning a hole with your eyes, but your subconscious brain takes over and just makes the arrow land in the middle.

It’s like throwing a ball. You don’t have a sight to aim with when you throw something or throw an object at something. Through repeated motion, you make adjustments, and you don’t even do that consciously. Same thing with archery when you’re shooting instinctive, per se.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, for sure. And there’s some amazing instinctive shooters. They don’t tend to go to competition.

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: For reasons we could get into. But for instance, I don’t want to name him, I don’t want to dox him, but this amazing guy from Albania at one range I went to, and this guy, all day long with his hunting bow, like a trad hunting bow made out of wood, just drilling the center of this target for two hours straight, every time I saw him.

And he would kind of pull back, and then as soon as he got his finger to the corner of his mouth, he would release. And that was it. And the guy’s just a beast. I mean, incredibly good.

So we finally started aiming, and I want to mention a couple of other things that I think were key to ultimately being very happy with the performance at Lancaster, even though, of course, I always want to do better. But the first I would say is standardizing a handful of things. So obviously, the shot sequence, and anchor, and aiming system, and all of that. The second was experimenting in mock tournament conditions. Because we also discovered, for instance, that when we upgraded from a very, very narrow arrow, so the shaft of the arrow, and therefore the head of the arrow as well, in this particular case, because they’re not broadheads or anything, going from a very, very thin arrow to the maximum allowable, javelin-sized arrow. And what’s the reason for that?

Jake Kaminski: So basically, in archery, when you touch the higher scoring ring where your arrow lands, you get the higher value. So all you have to do is touch that ring. You don’t have to break the line, you don’t even have to be inside out, you just have to touch it. And that’s enough to get you the higher score. And statistically speaking, somebody did a study, an analysis of scores across the board at indoor archery tournaments. And if you’re in that range of score where you were actually targeting to be to be at Lancaster, there’s a very statistically significant impact on your score going up by a tremendous amount, I think it’s somewhere in the neighborhood of eight plus points every 30 shots, which is a massive jump.

Tim Ferriss: That’s a lot.

Jake Kaminski: A massive jump at that 280, 270 range, somewhere in there, the bigger arrows make, statistically speaking, a huge difference. At the highest level, the guys that win the tournaments, when they’re shooting, say, one or two points down from perfect, they do not make any difference at all. Statistically, it’s a zero-sum. There’s no additional benefit to shooting the fat arrows.

Tim Ferriss: But for me.

Jake Kaminski: But for you, statistically, it made sense.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, it made a lot of sense. What that meant though is we had to adjust a bunch of the gear. And when you put the arrow on your bow, let’s keep it simple, you have an arrow rest. And we had an arrow rest that had been working great, fantastic.

Jake Kaminski: Absolutely.

Tim Ferriss: It had been working so well with the little tiny darts that I had been using. Once we put the much heavier arrows on. And I guess, what is the model of those arrows?

Jake Kaminski: So the arrows you were using was the Easton RX7.

Tim Ferriss: RX7.

Jake Kaminski: And before that you were using a Easton Avance, I don’t know how to say it. Basically, you went from an arrow that was smaller than the diameter of your average pen or pencil to something that was three pens combined almost.

Tim Ferriss: Oh, yeah.

Jake Kaminski: As far as the diameter is concerned. So big, big difference there.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. And much heavier.

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: Right?

Jake Kaminski: Not just a heavier arrow, but also a heavier point. Because there’s a lot of technical stuff here, but as an archer, you want your arrow to fly perfect. And you can adjust parameters of the arrow, the stiffness of the arrow, how resistant it is to bending the point weight, the knock weight, the fletching size, the arrow length, all sorts of things to make the arrow work with the bow so they fly perfectly straight. Because ultimately, you don’t want it to have a tendency to go one direction. You want it to have a forgiveness. So if you make a mistake, it’s not going to deviate far from the middle.

Tim Ferriss: And what we discovered, when I did my โ€” I guess it was probably the first time we did the tournament conditions. A few things, number one, my instinctive shooting was not going to work.

Jake Kaminski: Right. Yeah, no.

Tim Ferriss: It was all over the place. No. And on top of that, with the much thicker arrows, which are much heavier, the arrow rest, which in this case, is a fall away, it was a fall away rest. What was the model on this?

Jake Kaminski: So for those barebow listeners out there, it is the Zniper arrow rest, Z-N-I-P-E-R. So it is a magnetically controlled drop away arrow rest. So for those that don’t know archery, a drop away arrow is a rest that holds the arrow and supports it when you’re at hold draw. But the moment you let go, it snaps down out of the way to give the arrow the maximum amount of clearance as it’s going by the bow. For barebow, you use it because of the awful flight of the arrow that happens due to string walking. When you go down the string and you don’t pull it straight back.

So what was happening was, and this is not a design flaw of that rest, it’s just we literally hit the absolute limitations of the system. Because you have to make it stiff enough, hard enough to drop, to hold the arrow up so you don’t accidentally bump it when you’re moving around, but you want it to be soft enough so it drops when you let go of the string. And because the arrow was heavy and more importantly, the point weight was so heavy, it was not dropping. So also barebow shooters that are listening, we were using the 2315 size RX7, so the stiff 420 versions, the 420 spine versions, and we had to run heavy point weights to break the spine down.

Ideally, we should have run the 21 size arrows, I believe that โ€” I forget the exact spine, I think it’s 570 or somewhere in there, much weaker. And we should have shot those light point weights, but I don’t know if they are even available yet. They are or were on backwater at the time, so I couldn’t get you the arrow for the lighter point weight. So we literally just hit a roadblock of the arrow rest not working with that arrow setup.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. And how much can it change your impact at 20 yards if the arrow rest does not fall?

Jake Kaminski: Six inches.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: If not more.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, game over.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. That’s it.

Tim Ferriss: You’re done.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, you’re 10 ring again.

Tim Ferriss: So that’s part of the reason, in addition to my instinctive aiming completely shitting the bed and not working, given all the factors we’ve already talked about, I’d say one out of every four shots maybe was not falling.

Jake Kaminski: And so mentally you’re struggling with the aiming, then all of a sudden the equipment’s not working. So it’s just adding insult to injury and it’s just making this mental struggle so much worse.

Tim Ferriss: And then I should highlight that there’s so many reasons in any sport to mimic or rehearse competition conditions. But in the case of archery, one is you want to get used to being crowded. If you’re training by yourself, that’s not the way it works at any of these larger tournaments. You’re going to be on a line and literally could have somebody, I don’t know, how far away were folks with me?

Jake Kaminski: Less than a foot.

Tim Ferriss: Less than a foot.

Jake Kaminski: Probably.

Tim Ferriss: In front of me and behind me.

Jake Kaminski: Correct.

Tim Ferriss: You just want to hope, if you’re right-handed, you don’t have a left handed person right next to you on your right side because you’re going to basically be eye-gazing them the whole time. It’s really distracting.

Jake Kaminski: Although I encourage you during your training at Gotham โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Try it out.

Jake Kaminski: Go find a left-handed guy and stand right in front of him.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. So I did that. So I had the practice, but that is one reason. Another is to see what happens to your mental state, if and when. I guess it’s not really if, I mean at my level, when you make mistakes.

Jake Kaminski: At my level too.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. It’s like what happens, right? And for those who play poker, do you go go tilt, monkey tilt, how bad does it get and can you recover if and when that happens? And I was just, the wheels came off.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, it did.

Tim Ferriss: The wheels came off. I was like, “Aren’t you stupid? Fuck this game.” I didn’t say that, but I was โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: I think you did inside.

Tim Ferriss: Inside, I was definitely, I was not happy. And then, I mean it was really, I think, a combination of, so I mentioned a few things. We talked about the tournament conditions and with each mock tournament or league night that I did, the scores went up. So everything was trending in the right direction. And I was trying, I mean I used AI and all these tools to find every possible shop within an hour and a half driving distance. And what kind of targets did they use? Can I bring my own target? Which we ended up doing, right?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. You went and shot a blue and white face league night, an NFA league night, and shot a colored face. So instead of shooting the five arrows that everyone else shot, you were shooting three arrows. I was running a timer manually behind you keeping tabs on your actual pacing. Because within tournaments, a simple little added change is just a time limitation. And even though you may never even remotely come close to running out of time, just knowing that there’s a time limitation is enough to make you panic.

Tim Ferriss: Well, that’s another thing that happened to me, right? So given, let’s just say six months of serious practice, now it’s like two weeks out starting to aim, and I still have a lot that is manual. It’s not yet automatic. So I am a pretty slow shooter.

Jake Kaminski: Well, because you have to think through everything.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. And so how much time do you have for how many shots?

Jake Kaminski: You have two minutes to shoot three arrows.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, which sounds like a lot.

Jake Kaminski: I mean, oftentimes you had three to five seconds left.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. Which is not a good feeling because you’ll see the timer. It’s like what happens when it goes from green to yellow?

Jake Kaminski: So 30 seconds less, a yellow light comes on that’s way brighter than the green light. Green is meaning your โ€” just standard time left.

Tim Ferriss: And what happens to a lot of people, what happened to me initially is I would rush through that shot and let rip, and I would still have 15 seconds left, but I rushed it and it would not be a good shot.

Jake Kaminski: It was a change to your process.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. All right, so other things, mentioned standardizing as much as possible. So one was, and look guys, I’m not proud of this, but I’ll admit it. Figuring out expedient fuel that you can get or bring with you everywhere, especially with the amount of travel I was doing, that was actually very good practice. And it’s like okay, let me know how much caffeine I can tolerate. What am I going to use? And does it help at all? Because oodles and oodles of liquid anxiety does not help you shoot better.










Which is why also why beta blockers are not allowed in competition unless you get deliberately fat enough that you have a prescription for them. That’s a whole separate story. There are actually people who do that, just like the sprinters in the Olympics who, oh, my God, happen to all be narcoleptics so they can take modafinil. What a coincidence. All right, putting all that aside. So what does that mean? That means that I wanted to be able to fuel myself from things I could get at any convenience store, almost any gas station. So it would be some form of basic protein, don’t judge me, but maybe it’s like Muscle Milk or whatever. And then having almonds, I had tolerated Maui Nui venison sticks really well. We knew that I could digest that reasonably quickly. So always traveling with that, then figured out a couple of other things. I’ll give a couple of shoutouts because these products end up being really, really helpful. So Pique tea, P-I-Q-U-E, which are basically, if you think about matcha as whole leaf, these are pu-erh, oolong, they’re all whole leaf, they’re powdered, so you can mix them instantly.

Jake Kaminski: Even in cold water.

Tim Ferriss: Even in cold water and even if you’re combining it with other things. So I figured out the timing for using that, using glutamine, which is incredibly cheap. And I use momentous glutamine also, the next one I’ll talk about. And for muscle recovery and soreness, it is incredibly effective. I wrote about this in The 4-Hour Body, and I know you’re pretty skeptical at first of the glutamine.

Jake Kaminski: I mean the amount you were taking was insane.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, it was a lot.

Jake Kaminski: But after doing a little bit of research on my own, and with the help of Heather, we saw that it was good for people with leaky gut syndrome at very high doses. So if it’s okay for that, then it’s got to be all right for the overall GI system. So it’s like let’s give it a try. And we started trying it as well after seeing you pretty much taking an entire bottle of it in a day. Well, it actually makes a massive difference for muscle soreness. And it’s amazing.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, it’s wild. So I would say when we were doing hard training and look, talk to your medical professional, I’m not giving medical advice here, but I was using a scoop, which is say five grams of creatine, three or four times over the course of a full training session, I would say. And then what we figured out reasonably late, this was a lucky discovery, ended up playing around because I had used this actually on very, very long hikes, which is something called Fuel, also by Momentous. And that is a combination of electrolytes and let’s just call them more slowly digested carbohydrate and a handful of other things. But it’s basically like Bugatti Kool-Aid for mental and physical performance. And it was visibly noticeable when I was on this cocktail and when I was not, I would start getting shaky. And then if I had, and I timed this, if I had everything on a schedule and I knew how long it took me to digest, because the last thing you want to do is have three protein bars and then get up to shoot and you have all this blood in your stomach.

Jake Kaminski: Or even worse, a crash. And then you’re like “Ugh, emergency fuel.” How long does it take to come back to?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So figuring all that out was key. And I would just travel. I would have the Fuel, the glutamine, the Pique, I would have bottles of water so I could mix all of that on my own with a shaker bottle. And these ended up being, I think, really key to also reducing the decision fatigue and possibility for logistics challenges.

Jake Kaminski: For sure.

Tim Ferriss: And that’s why with Lancaster, so most high-level competitors, how early, how far before their first shooting do they arrive at Lancaster?

Jake Kaminski: Most pro shooters?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: 45 minutes. Half hour, an hour, it depends.

Tim Ferriss: But when would their plane land?

Jake Kaminski: Oh, sorry, A few days. Well, it depends on the season, because if the season’s really crammed in, you may land the night before the competition starts because one just ended somewhere across the world. But ideally, you’d try to get there a couple days early so that way you shake off the jet lag, you get used to the bed, you just get used to where everything’s laid out and you kind of just see how things are going. But if you’ve been to the event before โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: How early did we get there?

Jake Kaminski: 10 days, 12 days early, I think. Something like that.

Tim Ferriss: And so again, this is just, if it’s helpful for folks, I do this whenever I’m competing in anything new. So figure out where you are, figure out your food options, figure out your bed. For instance, I slept really poorly on the hotel mattress, so I ordered a pillow topper, got that all figured out. Where are you going to practice?

Jake Kaminski: How long does it take to drive from your hotel to the venue?

Tim Ferriss: How does that differ with different times of day?

Jake Kaminski: What does it look like, the venue? So we did a lot of different things too. We went to the venue early and checked it out after hours when no one was there. We’re the only ones walking around except for the Zamboni cleaning the floor. And so we’re checking it out. And so you get an idea of what the field looks like, what the lighting looks like, where the bathrooms are located.

Tim Ferriss: Figuring out where the bathrooms are. This is not a small thing, right? Because when you’re shooting at this particular tournament, on each bale you have four targets, A, B, C, D. So you’re shooting with three other people, you all score one another. And I’m simplifying things a little bit, but basically you are switching back and forth. Two people shoot, and then the next two people shoot and then the next people shoot and you alternate back and forth. So you may not have a whole lot of time to get to the bathroom. How crowded is the bathroom? Where is the least crowded bathroom? Where is the secret bathroom? Figuring all this out ahead of time because I recognized, look, I don’t have a lot of time under my belt. I’ve trained my ass off to the extent that my body would handle it, like I pushed my body. 

And I do need to give a huge thank you, Heather, who is a top-tier manual therapist, magician with soft tissue, and no way that I could have made it to Lancaster without her help with โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: You were on the ragged edge.

Tim Ferriss: I was run pretty ragged. Yeah. I mean I had kinesiology tape all over me. A couple of other recovery tools that were really helpful. One I really didn’t anticipate because I had no exposure to it, but this is, I guess, full-spectrum cannabis oil โ€” and was it Rick Simpson?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, RSO, Rick Simpson Oil, I believe, is the name of the guy that came up with this.

Tim Ferriss: And what was fascinating for me, you did not feel any psychoactive effects whatsoever. Topical, to be clear.

Jake Kaminski: Topical, yes. It does not cross the blood brain barrier.

Tim Ferriss: Not suppositories. Don’t fall for the marketing campaigns for the archery THC spots. And you don’t feel any psychoactive effect. Obviously do not break the law where you live. So pay attention. But in terms of reducing or eliminating muscle spasms, incredible.

Jake Kaminski: It’s amazing.

Tim Ferriss: Incredibly effective. And also if you’re going to get, let’s just say massage therapy, do not get, necessarily, Heather would be able to speak more intelligently to this, but incredibly deep, hardcore work right before you’re going to train, right? I mean there are different types of massage for flushing.

Jake Kaminski: Sure. You don’t want to overly lengthen the muscle because then you can lead that joint that it’s supporting or around to become potentially unstable, which results in a potential, serious potential for an injury to the joint, like an actual injury.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. You can also get really sore, as Heather was saying, and โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Increase your inflammation.

Tim Ferriss: Which does not help with anything. My main issue was my shoulder or my wrist or my forearms would just be on fire and they’d be all swollen like a puffer fish. And it’s like, okay, this is our first day of four days of training. We need to fix this. How do we fix this?

Jake Kaminski: From an outsider’s perspective, it was fascinating to see, with an unlimited ability to just make things happen, what you can do to maximize your potential to perform. So what can you control? Can you get that bed topper? Can you get there 10 days early? Can you see the venue? Can you have the Bugatti of electrolytes? Can you get the things that actually make a difference? And have you experimented enough leading up to the event to know how you respond? And if you take enough detailed notes, you know exactly how you’re going to respond. What is the lag time? What is the delay? How many days after I shoot this 300 arrow day am I going to be sore and unable to shoot properly?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, exactly.

Jake Kaminski: So many different things.

Tim Ferriss: And actually this is as good a point as any to mention the glue that holds us all together, which is note-taking and training logs.

Jake Kaminski: Yes, entirely.

Tim Ferriss: Right?

Jake Kaminski: This is such a pivotal thing to consistently performing under pressure. You might get hot once and shoot great and win a tournament, but if you didn’t know what you did that led up to that, how are you going to repeat it? And so you have to blueprint, as Joel says in his system, the Shot IQ. How do you blueprint an ideal shot or an ideal tournament? And leading up to that, a training session, whatever it may be, what can you do to replicate that every time?

Tim Ferriss: Yep, and so a few things that were surprising to me, for instance, if I felt like I’d just been put through a meat grinder, I would maybe, if left to my own devices, look back one training session, maybe two training sessions, but often it’s five days ago, five training sessions ago, you have to look back further than I would’ve expected. That is going to be beyond your memory.

Jake Kaminski: For sure. How many arrows did you shoot? What did you do that day? Did you strength train as well? How about massage therapy? Whatever, what did you eat? Whatever it is you’ve got to know. If you don’t know, you’re guessing.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, exactly. And also we’re mentioning a lot of these different things. Most of these are not expensive in the grand scheme of things.

Jake Kaminski: Correct.

Tim Ferriss: Actually, I mean the only one that might be out of range that I used quite a bit is the low intensity continuous ultrasound. There are these devices that basically put a very light ultrasound stimulus through these electrodes, and there’s a SAM device. There are a number of other ones that is LICUS, L-I-C-U-S, low intensity continuous ultrasound. People can look it up. That one’s a little pricey, but there’s a whole lot you can do that is not expensive. Almost everything I’ve mentioned is well within reach.

Jake Kaminski: I mean, you’re doing it right now, you’ve got a pen and a paper. That’s like the weapon right there. That is so important. I’ve encouraged so many people I work with that come to me for coaching to take detailed notes. And I can’t tell you how few do, and you’re the only one that I’ve ever seen take a sufficient level of detail of notes on how the training session went, what you did and how you ultimately felt. And then just being able to look back and see. I can’t tell you how many times you pulled it out and said, “Let me look back to San Diego when I went and visited Coach Lee and he told me to go away after 45 minutes. Oh, yeah, this is what we worked on. Interesting. Okay, let’s make sure I’m doing that today,” three months later or more than that.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. That ended up being such an important key to everything. And I would log the workout, give you just a couple of tips. I mean, this is going to seem really rudimentary. And it’s like, yeah, duh. But very few people do it. When did you work out? When did you do your training?

Jake Kaminski: The time of day?

Tim Ferriss: When was your last meal prior to that? Write this stuff down. You are not going to remember. And then going through training, it’s like, well, if you had a period of shooting really poorly and then you tested a number of things to fix it, what happened? So for instance, that pulling back on the pinky of the bow hand ended up being something, when I got fatigued, I would start to lose that tension and it would have a whole cascade of negative effects. And I was like, “Okay, interesting. For whatever reason, that cue seems to fix a lot.” And there were a handful of things that you’re only going to discover if you are taking those types of notes.

Jake Kaminski: Correct. And I think this applies to way more than archery. If you’re not really paying attention to what you’re doing and maximizing your chances for success and ultimately maintaining what you’re doing in training or leading up to an event, whatever it may be, if you change everything at the event, because “I’m at the event; I should probably clean up my diet.” Why would you do that?

Tim Ferriss: It’s too late.

Jake Kaminski: It’s too late. If you’re eating Cheetos at home, as much as you shouldn’t be eating Cheetos at home, you should probably just do it at the tournament. If you drink 7 Up or you have a beer the night before or whatever it is, you should probably continue to do that. You don’t want to all of a sudden sober up at the event, deal with withdrawal syndromes from not having enough sugar because you used to have whatever, Cap’n Crunch for breakfast. I don’t know, whatever it may be. You might want to just maintain the same thing. And so this applies to so many things, not just archery, I think.

Tim Ferriss: Oh, absolutely. And also, if it’s helpful to people, when I would take notes, I mean you can even, I won’t show off all this because some of these are top secret in this one, but I also basically draw a little square, you’ve seen these, in the bottom right of each page in this training log. And my training log is actually this big, it’s a larger paper.

Jake Kaminski: It’s bigger than an eight and a half by 11 sheet.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, it’s a large notebook. And in that bottom right corner, I am not only taking notes, I’m also reviewing all of those notes after the session. And in the bottom right, I am putting my next actions or key takeaways to focus on for the next workout. And so when I land at the gym, or in this case the range, the next day or two days later, I know exactly where I’m picking up. I do not have to spend any time on that. And all right, so we’re doing all this stuff, chugging Muscle Milks and fuel and glutamine and Pique and learning to aim.

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: Like a big boy.

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: Then what happens at Lancaster?

Jake Kaminski: Well, at Lancaster โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: And what’s the goal? What were the expectations, hopes, from your perspective? I’d be curious to hear.

Jake Kaminski: I would say my number one hope was just that you’d be happy with how it went no matter what. Because ultimately there’s no way to know how it’s going to go. Would it be great if you made the cut? Would it be great if you won the event? Sure, that’d be cool. But how is it going to go? No one knows. Competition is very interesting. It really is. It is just unknown until you do it.

Tim Ferriss: So just a quick side note. So I remember, I don’t want to mention his name, but I was training somewhere and I saw my first barebow shooter who was in my eyes, really good and in practice, just incredible. And do you remember what you said to me after that? I can tell you.

Jake Kaminski: Go for it.

Tim Ferriss: Practice scores don’t matter.

Jake Kaminski: Oh, yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Now, on some level, yes. I mean, consistent practice scores are one indicator, but competition is just a different โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: It’s a totally different animal.

Tim Ferriss: Different animal.

Jake Kaminski: And so you can expect to falter, you hope to do well, but ultimately it’s, looking at where you were, you really hit rock bottom three weeks before the event. So from there, there was an upward trajectory and you were heading in the right direction. So that’s a lot of stuff that I remember I was reminding you about. You’re headed in the right direction, you just have to maintain your focus on these things, do not get distracted by anything else. Each arrow is its own. You give it the care that it deserves. The arrow that you just shot does not affect the next, and the arrow that you’re about to shoot doesn’t affect anything.

It’s just its own individual thing. Treat it with care. It’s a 60 arrow round, not a one arrow round. So it’s really unimportant what happens on each individual arrow. Ultimately, it’s how you control the whole event, how you maintain focus, whatever it may be. Just composure ultimately is what’s required to succeed. It’s not about being perfect, it’s just about maintaining what you do in practice better than the next guy. That’s who wins. And so that was just the main focus that I was trying to hammer home to really say, “This is what you need to lean into and avoid any of this other distracting thoughts.” It’s not Lancaster, it’s nothing. It’s just another venue. You’re just shooting arrows. Nobody’s interfering with you. It’s you and the bow and no one else.

So ultimately, nobody’s going to prevent you from succeeding or failing except for yourself. So you’ve just got to get out of your own way and let it happen. You’ve already put in the time, you put in the effort, just go have fun, just shoot some arrows, and maintain composure.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. And I was, of course I was nervous, but I also came into it feeling like I cannot imagine with the limitations that I have, having taken this more seriously, I’ve done the prep I was humanly capable of doing.

Jake Kaminski: So ultimately it was just, there was no expectations. I don’t like to have expectations when it comes to competition because it adds a level of pressure, distraction.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, well I can also say for myself, and I hadn’t done a proper large competition in a super long time. Right?

Jake Kaminski: You said 20 years.

Tim Ferriss: 20 years, 20 plus years. And for me, I was so curious. I’m like, “Is that gear going to click? Is there going to be another gear?” Ultimately there was, and I was very happy to see it because I had not seen it in the mock tournaments.

Jake Kaminski: No, me neither, for the record.

Tim Ferriss: And part of that though, for me was, okay, now this is a real competition. This is what we’ve been training for. Adding extra pressure to myself now, much like changing your diet last minute, is not going to help.

Jake Kaminski: Correct.

Tim Ferriss: The training has been done. And so coming into it, I don’t even know if I’ve told you guys this, maybe I did, but I basically just told myself, “Just treat this like training with distraction. That’s it. This is just another training session with a lot of distractions.”

Jake Kaminski: It’s healthy.

Tim Ferriss: And I have had my best competition performances, whether it was going to the World’s in Tango or the National Championships in Sanshou, Chinese kickboxing. When I’ve done that and having high hopes, certainly, but the mental prep that I did for that was, “My pass/fail here is not the score. It’s how well I can recover and keep my calm.”

Jake Kaminski: Exactly.

Tim Ferriss: That was it. And I was like, “Okay, I have a lot of room for improvement,” because I remember throwing a tantrum of epic proportions when everything went sideways at Easton. In fairness, that was pretty rough.

Jake Kaminski: It was rough.

Tim Ferriss: That was rough.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, I felt bad too.

Tim Ferriss: It was bad. It was really bad. And I was like, okay, so this is it. This is like a meditation practice, and success is viewing it as training with distraction and just keeping calm. And if I get excited, that’s okay, just like reeling it back in.

Jake Kaminski: It’s part of it. Yep. Everyone’s going to get it.

Tim Ferriss: So Heather was sitting there with a mutual friend, and what Heather was saying is she was looking at me and she’s like, “Wow, Tim is overstimulated.” And โ€”

Tim Ferriss: It’s very easy to be overstimulated there. I mean, it’s โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: So loud.

Tim Ferriss: It’s so loud. It is a cavernous space. There are how many shooters?

Jake Kaminski: There was close to 600 shooters on the line at one time.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, exactly. And what Heather was saying is that when I crossed the line to straddle the line to shoot, there was just this calm that washed over me. And she was saying that โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: You were just pie-eyed, walking around.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. My eyes were saucers beforehand.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. The moment you crossed it was just like, “This is what I do. This is how it’s going to go.” And it was the first time, genuinely the first time where it was just like you held your shit together.

Tim Ferriss: And so that was an experience, and I was like, “Oh, oh, yeah, I’ve done this before.” Because I guess, and we will get to this, but it’s like historically, I know I don’t have a technical advantage over everyone there. Some of these guys have been shooting forever. And I was like, “Okay, well how can I try to stack the deck?” We already talked about a lot, nutrition, sleep, taking away handicaps that I can easily remove. Then it was like, okay, well, being consistent for 60 arrows, which means trying to contain the fluctuations in energy and also contain the fluctuations in emotional reaction.

And I remember taking the first few shots, and I’m standing on the line and there’s a person 12 inches in front of me and sweet, sweet people, but her arrows are sticking out and literally jabbing me in the stomach, like the knocks, the back of the arrow. And I’m like, “That’s distracting.” And then there’s a guy right behind me who has a huge longbow. He’s in the longbow division, he’s holding it sideways and he’s holding it right in front of me, so I can’t even lift my bow.

Meanwhile, the timer’s going and I’m like, “Oh, man, okay.” But then I was able to, I think in part from visiting the venue, in part from doing the Easton comp prep and having the black bales, which they also had at Lancaster, walking in that late night when the Zamboni was there, because it’s indoor lighting, to see what the lighting is like, let my eyes adjust and feel it out. Not worrying about the bathroom, not worrying about nutrition. And it took a little bit of shooting to get comfortable with the process and the turnaround speed from one pair to the next pair, shooting on the same bale, but ultimately ended up with a โ€” I think it was exactly 500 points, right?

Jake Kaminski: I think so. Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. I think it was exactly. Look, somebody could find it online. It’s easy enough to find. But ended up with 500 points. It’s not anywhere close to my practice high scores, but that’s fine. But it was my best tournament scoring.

Jake Kaminski: Most importantly, in my opinion, the best performance you’ve had. It’s not about the outcome. It’s about the performance. If I shoot beautifully, in my opinion, and someone else out shoot me โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: So be it.

Jake Kaminski: I have to be happy with that.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. So be it.

Jake Kaminski: I did the best I can.

Tim Ferriss: And so, what does that mean? I think I’d have to go back and look. I don’t know what number I’m ranking.

Jake Kaminski: I think you were 80th something.

Tim Ferriss: 80 something?

Jake Kaminski: 80s, in there.

Tim Ferriss: I don’t know.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. So you’re not quite at 64 where you wanted to be.

Tim Ferriss: It was really fun, and just the fact that I didn’t lose it irrecoverably was a huge highlight. And also, we ended up, because a glutton for punishment, doing โ€” I guess it was the next day maybe. Maybe it was a day later. But doing a bunch of practice, and figuring some stuff out.

Where it’s like, “Oh, okay.” I feel, automatically, some of these tweaks would lead to a higher score. And if I can basically just get my practice scores closer to my competition scores, or maybe you frame it the other way. Then, if I’m able to maintain my composure, it’s like, “Okay. I think, certainly, a 540, or something like that should be enough to get into the top 64 for sure.”

Jake Kaminski: You would think so. Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: You would think so. So, great experience. Thanks so much for the amazing coaching.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Heather, thank you for keeping my body in one piece. And I’m just trying to think of what else we could mention just in terms of approach, or anything else that’s worth adding. And this is particularly given some of my orthopedic issues, and just tendinosis limitations, and so on. This isn’t totally right, and I’ll explain the modification. But this actually comes from a very famous track coach with many, many world records to his athlete’s credit. Henk Kraaijenhof, or something like that.

I believe he’s Dutch. I’m sure I’m messing up that. But it’s in The 4-Hour Body, if people are looking for the actual name. And he said, “The goal is to do the least necessary, not the most possible.” And the way that ties into the training is I found if I really, really overdid it, then I might need four or five days off. If my shoulder’s really inflamed, and problematic. So it’s like, “Okay. How can we use smaller doses with higher frequency to make this work?”

Jake Kaminski: Ultimately, that’s super beneficial in archery. So if I were to wave a magic wand, and try to make things better the next time, it would be doing archery more often. So it’s not about how many arrows you do in one session. It’s how many sessions in a week can you do, and how many days in between each session are there? Anything more than one is too many, in my opinion. So if you could standardize your schedule better. Better for the sake of archery performance. That, of course, requires sacrifice elsewhere. Time hanging out, time working, whatever it may be. It’s a challenge.

Tim Ferriss: I mean, for the competition, that was a commitment, right?

Jake Kaminski: Oh, 100 percent.

Tim Ferriss: It was like, unless my body failed for a period of time, which happened with alarming regularity. But I mean, certainly when we’re looking at the training in Utah, and a lot of other places. I mean, certainly in person. I mean, it was two and a half to three hour sessions.

Jake Kaminski: It was intense sessions, and in Tim’s famous last words, “One more end.”

Tim Ferriss: One more end. Yeah, one more end. It’s one more bunch of arrows, and I’d be like, “One more end. Okay.”

Jake Kaminski: Three hours later.

Tim Ferriss: “All right. One more end.” Three hours later, “Okay. One more end. One more end.”

Jake Kaminski: It’s hard.

Tim Ferriss: Which, by the way, that ended up, for solo training, being important to me. You gave me the advice of, and this might sound a little counterintuitive. But not setting a minimum number of arrows you need to shoot, but a maximum number of arrows.

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: And it’s like, “When you hit that, you are done.”

Jake Kaminski: Yes. No matter what. No matter if it’s your best day ever, and you cannot miss, and you’re just enjoying archery more than you’ve ever enjoyed in your entire life. You have to stop. But also, if you’re struggling. You’ve got to push towards that upper end of that limit. You need to put in the best.

Tim Ferriss: Well, where I got into trouble was, let’s just say, I wanted to shoot 100 arrows as a minimum. If I were shooting poorly, and I got to 100, I would be like, “I’m not ending on that.”

Jake Kaminski: “It’s terrible.”

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, exactly. Whip my back. I’m not ending on that terrible, shitty end. There’s no way. I want to end on a good rep, and so I push, and push, and push. And more often than not, it would just continue to deteriorate. And then I would end up with some type of inflamed shoulder, inflamed X, Y, or Z that now keeps me out of training for three or four days.

Jake Kaminski: Or potentially hit you real hard five days later as you start to compete.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, exactly.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Exactly.

Jake Kaminski: Yep.

Tim Ferriss: So, not worth it, but that takes a lot. And to beat a dead horse, it comes back to, also, the journal. The notes. Training logs.

Jake Kaminski: But something that was interesting that you kind of discovered watching people on the practice range the day after you competed, or whenever that was. And you learned some things. You were watching a couple of different shooters out there. There was, I think, the number one ranked barebow shooter that won the ranking round that year, and set the new Lancaster record for the ranking round. You were watching him shoot.

And you first pointed him out to me, and said, “Hey, keep an eye on him. See if there’s anything that he’s doing that maybe I should start to work on. Just maybe there’s something I’m missing.” And I watched him for two arrows, and I think I just walked right over to him. I said, “Hey, how’s it going? What’s your name? How long you been shooting?” “Oh, I was a successful recurve archer.” His form looked recurve-like. There’s a very distinct look to that. And he shot as a junior competitively nationally, I believe, for Canada if I remember correctly.

And then he shot all through college shooting recurve competitively. And then he started shooting compound for a while, and set down the bow. Came back to it four or five years later, and started shooting barebow. And so, he already had a decade plus of archery experience doing, essentially, the same thing. The same kind of form. And then you pointed out some 13, 14-year-old Korean kids, or something like that. Korean American kids that were just pounding. They were just stacking the arrows in at the center.

Tim Ferriss: And when you say, “Stacking,” it’s โ€“ 

Jake Kaminski: Shooting six arrow ends in the size of the, “Okay,” symbol that you can make with your fingers, basically. And that’s impressive, especially at that age. And so, same kind of thing. I pointed them out. “Look at these guys. I bet you they’re shooting X amount of arrows a day for 300 plus arrows. I’m just guessing. They shoot a lot, I can tell.” So I went over to their coach, who didn’t really want to respond to me. So then I went to the kids directly. I was just like, “How much do you shoot? How long have you been shooting?”

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, which is possible because we have to go pull our arrows at the same time. Right?

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: So you can have a conversation.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. And even if not, it’s the practice range, and it’s fine. Again, we talked about the community. They’re very welcoming. People are willing to discuss, and communicate. It’s just everybody is in the same game. They’re all struggling, quote, unquote, with the same thing that you’re struggling with. And so, they’re just in a different stage. And so you can learn from their experience, if you ask them the right questions. And hopefully, they’re willing to share.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. The kids were super friendly, too.

Jake Kaminski: Super friendly. And so you’re, “Hey, how long have you been shooting?” “Five years.” “How many days a week do you shoot?” Six days a week.” “How many arrows a day do you shoot?” “200 to 300 arrows every single day.” That’s why they’re good, Tim.

Tim Ferriss: Well, now, okay. Now, I’m going to get back on the witness stand, and defend myself. Not defend myself, but โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Not that you weren’t good. It’s just there’s a stage, right?

Tim Ferriss: No, no, no, it’s not saying that I’m good. I mean, they’re doing a lot of volume, but that was despite having technique that was not great.

Jake Kaminski: Sure. I also want to โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Now, to my untrained eye, I’m like, “I can’t tell.”

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, but I said, “This, this, and that. They should do these things.” Despite these issues, they’re still able to do well because they’ve put in sustained reps for a very long period of time. So they’re able to just default to what they do, and you had six months. They had five years. There’s a โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, it’s a different thing.

Jake Kaminski: โ€” huge difference.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, it’s a different thing.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, and it’s just you look experienced from experience. You don’t just get it. You’ve got to make that groove, as you said, in the brain. And really make that neuromotor connection strong enough to where it just fluidly happens. That’s why an expert is an expert. They’ve done the same thing thousands and thousands and thousands of times. I’m well over a million shots the same way. Same technique, same thought process, same thought at full draw. So it’s an immense amount of effort and work over time. Sustained effort is what really makes you good.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, but that’s true for everything.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. Well, it’s been a hell of a journey. It’s not over. It’s not over. But we might bounce around, might ask you some more questions, but do you want to talk about the Backyard Championship?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: What the hell is the Backyard Championship?

Jake Kaminski: So everybody loves to be a backyard world champion, per se. Like I said, practice scores don’t matter. Everybody can shoot well in their backyard. Everybody’s happy to tell you how they’ve shot so well in their backyard, and post their pictures of their targets all over social media.

Or potentially not just their backyard, but the range they shoot at, or their club. And that’s great. I’m all for it. I love that people are proud, and passionate about what they’re doing. And so we’re forming this thing that we’re calling the Backyard Championships, which is essentially a digital tournament. We’re going to have two events this year. An indoor event, and an outdoor event. And essentially, you will, with an honor code and a buddy system, hopefully, submit your scores after you sign up for the actual event.

And after you submit your scores, we’ll have a digital leaderboard that people can, essentially, rank themselves amongst other people throughout the world. And it’ll be bracketed, male/female, adult/kid, different disciplines, compound, recurve, barebow. You name it. Just stick bow, horse bow, whatever it may be. Well, as we identify important disciplines, we will make sure to have that available so you can compete against other people shooting a similar bow. So this kind of ties into encouraging others to pick up a bow, and shoot archery. And as Joel Turner told me, “It’s archery. Try it.” Meaning, it doesn’t matter what style of bow you shoot, you could shoot horse bow with your thumb. You could shoot a trad bow.

You could shoot a compound with a scope, and a level, and a release aid, and huge stabilizers. It’s archery, and it’s really, really fun. And this is, hopefully, going to make it more accessible to more people to show up at their local range, rent a bow, go shoot some arrows, get a score, get it posted on the internet, and just see how it goes. It’s really fun to build a community. And then within that, we’re going to have a Discord server that is exclusive for people who are competing at the event. So we’ll be able to have people discussing back and forth, maybe bragging rights, things like that. And ultimately, it’s nothing really being awarded other than bragging rights of being a Backyard Champion.

Tim Ferriss: All right. So I’m excited about this. I want to recommend everybody, “Archery, try it.”

Jake Kaminski: Absolutely.

Tim Ferriss: I’ll echo Joel who, by the way, is an amazing โ€” we don’t have time for this, but an amazing thumb shooter. He’s got a gnarled Frankenthumb because he does it so often, but you can check that out. In fact, the oldest way of shooting probably, I would say โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Probably, yeah.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” is his thumb release. So you can check out Joel, and his monster thumb, and his system as well. Shot IQ. But coming back to this. So the Backyard Championship, a few things I want to say. Number one, this is an opportunity to have an end goal. It doesn’t have to be Lancaster, as it was in my case. Which, also, it’s not where I started out. I just wanted the meditative practice, and quite frankly, this sort of blast from the past of using a tool granted with some modern materials that humans have used for thousands of years upon thousands upon thousands.

And I think it is really therapeutic for a lot of people who try it, and it’s just fun. It’s really fun. So now you have the chance to have some type of goal related to giving archery a shot. And if you don’t have your Backyard Championship set-up, and you don’t have your own gear, that’s no problem whatsoever. I didn’t buy my own gear for a long time. And you can go to a local range, and the folks are almost always incredibly welcoming. Ready to help. Try a bunch of different stuff, right?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, try a compound. Try a recurve. Try a horse bow. Whatever.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. Try them all out. At the very least, I mean this is going to sound like an oversell, but it will give you a regular meditation practice. Maybe you have trouble sitting on a cushion, closing your eyes, and doing it that way. A lot of people do. Try this. It, for me, was such an unlock for tabling my monkey mind for an hour or two. It’s really remarkable. So I encourage people to try it out.

Jake Kaminski: And the Backyard Championship allows you to shoot multiple different disciplines, and submit multiple different scores. So if you have a compound, a recurve, a barebow, a longbow, a horse bow. Whatever you’ve got, you can submit a score for each discipline for indoor, and outdoor. And once you submit your score, we have these really awesome quiver pins that we’ll send to you as well. So you can show that you actually participated in the Backyard Championship.

Tim Ferriss: All right. Where should people go?

Jake Kaminski: Just head to my website, JakeKaminski.com. Everything will be available there as far as the info, the leaderboard, all that info. It’ll just be all right there.

Tim Ferriss: All right. Perfect.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: All right. Everybody check it out. At the very least, go to a range, pick up a bow.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, have a good time.

Tim Ferriss: Take some intro classes. They do fun stuff. Some places, they’ll blow up balloons, or throw on the black lights. There’s a lot of fun to be had. Also, if you have kids, this is an awesome activity to do with your kids.

Jake Kaminski: Absolutely. And on your YouTube channel, we recorded a video that’ll be coming out soon, or will be already I’m sure.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. And that will show Gear 101 from Jake, and then also Technique 101.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. So if you’re really not sure, and there’s nobody nearby, or they’re not sure how to help you, you’ll at least have a basic understanding of the equipment to be safe. And to also have a lot of fun, too. So it’ll be great.

Tim Ferriss: So check that out. JakeKaminski.com, folks. YouTube channel, I guess people can find it through the website? Is that the best way to do it?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, it’s on the website. You can just search Jake Kaminski as well. It’ll pop up on YouTube direct. It’ll pop up on any internet search as well. Very prevalent, as far as the search engine results.

Tim Ferriss: Easy to find.

Jake Kaminski: Yep.

Tim Ferriss: Jake Kaminski. K-A-M-I-N-S-K-I?

Jake Kaminski: Correct.

Tim Ferriss: Kaminski.com?

Jake Kaminski: Yes.

Tim Ferriss: And once again, thanks so much to you and Heather. It’s been a hell of a โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Quite a journey.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” awesome adventure, and trip. And has reinvigorated me in so many different ways. And also, I will say, it’s given me so much energy, in a sense. It’s been such a recharging activity that it’s given me a lot that I can then apply to other places.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, yeah.

Tim Ferriss: I cannot tell you. I’ve had some challenging family issues, meaning medical issues, over the last, let’s call it, six months. In particular, a year. And having this as a way, again, to just take a break from that for a period of time. To have a constant. I don’t need to rely on an entire team of people to gather for a rec soccer game.

It’s like, no, I can just book time. Often, these lanes. Meaning, where you would stand, and practice at a range. I mean, sometimes it’s like $10.00 an hour. I mean, it’s not going to break the bank, and rentals are generally very, very affordable. And I can just take a break. I can go in two hours, just quiet my mind. And it’s been such an incredible tool. So I want to thank both of you guys again โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Yeah. Thank you.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” for that.

Jake Kaminski: It’s been fun.

Tim Ferriss: Anything else you’d like to add? Any closing comments before we wind to a close?

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, archery’s difficult. It’s single-sided, rotational, and static. So it’s not exactly good for you. I mean, it’s great because it clears your mind. It’s activity. You’ve got something to focus on, but it can be a bit much for the body. So taking care of yourself is super important.

Tim Ferriss: And part of that, I’ll give it another plug, JakeKaminski.com. Watch Jake’s videos on technique. If you are doing the same thing over, and over, and over again. Just imagine you had a pebble in your shoe, and you refuse to take it out. And you take 10 steps, okay, you’re fine. Maybe you walk to Starbucks, and back. You’re fine.

Jake Kaminski: 1,000.

Tim Ferriss: You walk 1,000 miles with that, you’re going to have a big problem with your foot.

Jake Kaminski: Absolutely.

Tim Ferriss: And that is true with really any repetitive motion. There are a lot of sports with repetitive motions. Also, applies to archery. And the problems, I think, are very easy to avoid with a few basic pointers that you follow religiously.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, and I’ve got an academy of sorts coming out. It’s like a Jake Kaminski academy that’ll teach you the technique. It is currently available as far as form advice that I give on my YouTube channel. But this academy is an ultra premium, high production quality that, once you buy into the system, you have lifetime access.

So as you develop as an archer, you can come back and check it out as often as you’d like. So that’s something that is in the works, and we’re getting very close to launching. That’ll also be available on JakeKaminski.com as well. And as Joel Turner said, “Either way, it’s archery. You should try it.”

Tim Ferriss: Oh, amazing.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Well, thanks again, Jake.

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, yeah, appreciate it.

Tim Ferriss: So nice to see you โ€” 

Jake Kaminski: Yeah, same.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” and train with you.

Jake Kaminski: It’s been a lot of fun.

Tim Ferriss: Heather, thank you again. And folks listening, show notes. We’re going to have links to everything, as per usual, tim.blog/podcast. I can pretty much guarantee you there will not be another Kaminski on the podcast as of yet. So you can check that out, or just search Jake. I don’t think there are many Jakes in the podcast library.

And until next time, be just a bit kinder than is necessary to others. Also, to yourself. If you’re on the line, and shoot a terrible shot, don’t go full monkey tilt and punch yourself in the groin. Not worth it. Be kind. And I appreciate the other hidden chuckle from behind the pillar. And until next time, thanks for tuning in.

2x Olympic Archery Medalist Jake Kaminski โ€” Lessons Learned and Mantras Used After 1,000,000 Arrows (#811)

โ€œIโ€™m well over a million shots the same wayโ€”same technique, same thought process, same thought at full draw. … Sustained effort is what really makes you good.โ€
โ€” Jake Kaminski

Jake Kaminski (@jake_kaminski_) is a two-time Olympic silver medalist in archery and a longtime member of the US Archery Team, with more than a decade of international competition experience. Known for his technical precision and deep knowledge of the sport, Jake helped lead the US to team silver medals at both the 2012 London and 2016 Rio Olympic Games.

Since retiring from Olympic competition, Jake has become a leading voice in the archery world through content creation, product innovation, and educational events. He runs a successful YouTube channel, writes training guides, and develops high-performance gear under the Kaminski Archery brand.

Sign up for the Kaminski Archery Backyard Championship here.

Please enjoy!

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This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep premium mattresses; AG1 all-in-one nutritional supplement; and Shopify global commerce platform, providing tools to start, grow, market, and manage a retail business.

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Want to hear an episode with MeatEater kingpin Steven RinellaListen to our conversation, in which we discuss how Steven got me to overcome my lifetime aversion to hunting, why the conservation-minded non-hunting crowd should care about the decline in hunting and fishing license sales in the United States, the politics of reintroducing predator species to popular hunting grounds, close encounters of the grizzly kind, and much more.


What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

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The Tim Ferriss Show Transcripts: Terry Real โ€” The Therapist Who Breaks All The Rules (#810)

Please enjoy this transcript of my interview with Terry Real, a nationally recognized family therapist, author, and teacher. He is known for his groundbreaking work on men and male psychology as well as his work on gender and couples.

His book I Don’t Want To Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the first book ever written on the topic of male depression, is a national bestseller. His new book, Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship is a New York Times bestseller. Terryโ€™s Relational Life Institute offers training for therapists and workshops for couples and individuals.

Transcripts may contain a few typos. With many episodes lasting 2+ hours, it can be difficult to catch minor errors. Enjoy!

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Tim Ferriss: Terry, so nice to see you. Thanks for making the time for the show.

Terry Real: It’s wonderful to be here, Tim. I’m a big fan.

Tim Ferriss: And I am a big fan, and it all started with two people. I would say Peter Attia first, on the topic of male depression, and then Kevin Rose on couples therapy, specifically. So we’ve had, I suppose, indirectly and directly a few years, or I’ve had a few years of Terry Real, and I thought that I would share more of Terry live and in person with my audience for a number of reasons. And as we discussed before recording, I thought we would start with some stories, story time with Terry. And I will cue it with bread. 

Terry Real: Pumpernickel.

Tim Ferriss: Pumpernickel. Exactly. As all good stories begin, pumpernickel. So could you fill in the blanks with that particular story, please?

Terry Real: So as you know, Tim, my specialty, a couple on the brink that no one else has been able to help, that’s what I’ve been doing for 20 years and that’s what I teach. So here’s a couple on the brink.

The issue was that he was a chronic liar. I teach my therapists, you pay attention to what people report, you pay attention to what they do in front of you, and you pay attention to how you feel. And he’s one of these guys, I walk in and I go, “The sky is blue.” And he goes, “Well, not really blue. It’s really  โ€”” The guy is a champion evader, so I get that. He’s an evader.

Then I ask a relational question. A standard therapist would think, “Oh, where’d you get that?” No, there’s somebody else on the other side of that habit, he learned it. So I say to him, “Who controlled you growing up?” He’s an evader. Who was he evading? Sure enough, Dad, military man, how he sat, how he ate, his friends. I said, “Well, what did that little boy do with that controlling father?”

And Timmy smiles, and that’s the smile of resistance. I like that smile, very mischievous smile. And he says to me, ready? “I lied. Dad said, ‘Don’t play with Henry.’ I played with Henry and told him I was playing with Tom.'” Smart boy. I always teach my students, be respectful of the exquisite intelligence of that adaptive little boy or girl that you were, you did just what you needed to do to get by.

But guess what? You’re not that little boy. Your wife is not your father. Maybe you’re on death’s door here, but maybe it’s time to change this up. That’s it, one session. Of course, I don’t tell you the one sessions that don’t work, I only tell you the ones that work. Anyway, one session. They come back two weeks later, this is absolutely true, hand in hand, “We’re done,” and they were. They were done.

“Okay, there’s a story here. Tell me this story.” Guy says to me, over the weekend, his wife sent him to the grocery store to get, say, 12 things. And true to form, he comes back with 11. The wife says, “Where’s the pumpernickel?” I want folks to feel this. He says every muscle and nerve in his body was screaming to say they were out of it. This is a moment my wife, wonderful family therapist, Belinda Berman, calls relational heroism. Every muscle was screaming to do the same old, same old. “And I took a breath, I thought of you.” He was borrowing my prefrontal cortex. “I thought of you, Terry. I looked at my wife and I said, ‘I forgot the goddamn pumpernickel.’ And she looked at me, true story, and she burst into tears and she said, ‘I’ve been waiting for this moment for 25 years.'” That’s the story.

Tim Ferriss: It’s a hell of a story, and you are a very good storyteller. 

Terry Real: So in Relational Life Therapy [RLT], the work I’ve created, we talk about three parts of the human psyche. The wise adult, the part I’m talking to right now, prefrontal cortex, the most evolved part of the brain. That’s the part that evolved last in the human species, that’s the part that evolved last. Hey, you parents out there with ADHD kids, 26 years old is when the โ€” chill, you’ve got 26 years before they start to calm down. Anyway, prefrontal cortex, stop and think and choose.

But what makes life interesting and dicey is there are two, we call them subcortical parts of the brain, automatic, knee-jerk response. The mature, wise adult. All the way, amygdala in the back, is the completely flooded wounded child part, first moments of life to forethought. Just flooded, just wants to crawl in someone’s lap and cry.

Between these two is what we call the adaptive child part. And Tim, that’s the part most of the people I see have lived most of their lives in, thinking that that’s an adult and it’s not. It’s a kid’s version of an adult. And the hallmark of the adaptive child part of us is that it’s automatic, fight, flight, fawn. I’ve got to get out of here or the world’s going โ€” I’ve got to stand up for myself.

Tim Ferriss: What is fawn? Could you explain that again?

Terry Real: Codependence. “Oh, my God, Tim’s feeling bad. I’ve got to make him feel good because if he doesn’t feel good, I don’t feel good.”

Big for a lot of women, but not only women. And it’s not an adult, “Let me see what I can do to make this relationship work.” It’s an anxious, compulsive, “Oh, my God, I’ve got to fix this guy.”

Okay. What we teach is shifting out of that, we call it relational mindfulness. This is the core skill from which all other skills depend. The adaptive child part of us, you played the losing strategies from Fierce Intimacy in a podcast. It doesn’t want to use skills. It doesn’t want to be intimate โ€” intimacy’s scary โ€” it wants self-protection. So I’m going to control you, I’m going to scream at you, I’m going to withdraw from you. I will never get what I want in the relationship when my adaptive child has taken over. And almost all of the people I see, that’s what happens. Skills are great, but when you’re flooded, they go right out the window.

So the first skill, I call it remembering love. Remember the person you’re speaking to is someone you care about and you live with them, dummy. It’s in your interest, so get centered in that. Somebody wrote, “Wait, why am I talking?” And be honest with, are you talking to nail your partner into the ground or prove you’re right? Then take a break. I’m a big fan of break. Wait until you remember you’re talking to someone you care about and the reason why you’re opening up your mouth is to make things better.

Now, what makes life even more dicey is that that adaptation, like the guy in the story lying, was born in a relationship. And what happens is when people shift out of, I call, I speak about miserable comfortable, happy uncomfortable. And when you move out of that into new territory, vulnerability, risk-taking, courage, standing up for yourself for some, coming down and yielding for others, when you move into intimacy, you lose that old relationship. And there’s a lot of, not always, but there’s a lot of unconscious guilt and loyalty.

So part of the reason why we don’t change is we’re loyal to the relationships that we learn how to be screwed up in. And it feels odd. I say we’re immigrants. We leave the old country and the old people behind.

So a story. Here’s a story, true story. A guy comes to me, he says, “You’re my ninth therapist.” There’s a challenge. Gauntlet’s down, right? Another notch in the belt. “You’re my ninth therapist, eight therapists have tried to help me,” and he was screwed up. The guy is an award-winning artist, a celebrated artist. He’s got a bad back, he doesn’t go to the doctor, he’s got rotten teeth, he smokes too much. He’s just a mess, going to die early at this rate.

What’s his story? Here’s his story. He was raised by a single mom. She died of alcoholism, didn’t know his dad. Her story was when she was a little girl, her father beat everybody up in the whole house, mother and all four sisters and her. As a little nine-year-old girl, this feisty chick walks over to her father and says, “You lay a hand on my mother or my sisters and I’m going to call the police and have you sent to jail.” True story. Father looks at this little nine-year-old says, “Okay. You win. I’m not going to lay a hand on your mother or sisters ever again. I’m just going to beat you.” And he beat her every day of her life until she finally escaped at 16.

Tim Ferriss: Jesus.

Terry Real: Then she became an alcoholic.

Tim Ferriss: Wow.

Terry Real: Catholic family. So here’s what I say. I say, “Well, I know why eight therapists have failed.” And he cued me. I said, “What happens with these therapists?” He said, “Well, sooner or later, they all care more about me than I do.” And then I ditch him. “Okay, got it.” I said, “Okay, I know why that happened.” I say, “Your mother,” who he adored, “Your mother was a sainted martyr. What she did to save her family as a nine-year-old girl was crawl up on that cross and get crucified. And guess what? You’re up on that cross with her. And if you take care of yourself and live a life and get happy and successful and intimate, you will leave her on the cross. She’s dead, by the way, but it doesn’t matter. You’ll leave her and you ain’t going to do that. So you know what? I’m not going to try and make you better. I’m going to celebrate your sacrifice.”

And this is a true story to me. He looked at me and goes, “My back is killing me. Do you know a good doctor in New York?” And there we were.

Tim Ferriss: So what do you do with that?

Terry Real: I got him a good doctor in New York. Once there’s progress, you move it. 

Tim Ferriss: I’ve got it. So at that point, he was ready to actually make change.

Terry Real: Yeah. I say, “Look, this is what you’re doing. I admire it.” I always side with the adaptation. “I admire it. By the way, you’re going to die. Your mother’s already dead, she doesn’t care anymore. But what a loyal guy you are. Congratulations. You really want to live like this?” And he says, “No.” Everybody else argued with him. “You’ve got to live. You’ve got to live.” “No, I don’t. No, I don’t.” I went, “Why don’t you crawl up on that cross and die with your mother?” He goes, “Ugh, I don’t think so.”

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. So one of the maybe differentiating characteristics that I appreciate about you, and I can only speak to my experience with you, but I’m sure it applies to therapists you’ve trained, is taking a position, right? You’re not playing the neutral mirror with all of your clients, which gets old very quickly, for me at least, when I’ve worked with other therapists, when I ask them what they think and they’re like, “Well, what do you think?” And it just becomes โ€” 

Terry Real: Oh, God.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” this game of echo. Why do you think it is so uncommon to take positions? And how can it be effective?

Terry Real: Oh, my God, we’re taught not to as therapists. We’re actively taught not to. God forbid you should โ€” thou shalt not take sides. If you take a side, particularly if you side with a woman against a man, then you have to go to your supervisor and talk about your mother for a while and you can go back into the therapy. No, no, no, no, no. The idea is that all problems are 50/50, and common sense knows that’s just bullshit.

Literally, I treated a couple. The guy was an untreated, bipolar, manic-depressive, alcoholic rager. What was the woman’s quote-unquote contribution? She was there, that was her contribution. And this was the feminist critique of family therapy. You don’t say to an abused spouse, “What’s your 50 percent of this?” That’s grotesque.

So in RLT, we call it like we see it. “Tim, you’re a nut. And Mrs. Tim, you’re an even bigger nut. And here’s why. And here’s what I think you need to do about it.” So some problems are 40/60, some problems are 99/1. We call it like we see it.

Tim Ferriss: I want to bring up some other, perhaps, concepts or ways of looking at common problems that I think could help people. Could you discuss objectivity battles? Maybe paint a picture of what that looks like. And this is something I found personally very helpful, by the way, not just in intimate relationships, but in all relationships. So could you speak to this, please?

Terry Real: Yeah. I’m glad you said that because relationships are relationships. We’re doing a corporate piece, we’re doing a big thing for the general public, and the same skills in work, with your kids, with your dog. Although most people treat their dogs better than they treat their spouses, but anyway. Okay, what were we talking about?

Tim Ferriss: We were talking about objectivity battles.

Terry Real: Ah, okay.

Tim Ferriss: So what does it look like to do that the wrong way?

Terry Real: Actually, let me go big picture for 30 seconds.

Tim Ferriss: Sure, sure.

Terry Real: The essence of my work, the new book, Us, is about correcting what Gregory Bateson, the father of family therapy, husband of Margaret Mead, called humankind’s epistemological error, philosophical error. And here it is. We stand apart from nature and we control it. We stand apart from nature, that’s individualism. We control it, that’s patriarchy.

And by the way, control can be one up, that’s male, do what I say. Or regulating up, one down, that’s traditionally the female, enabling. Don’t set daddy off. Both forms of control, all bullshit. Nobody controls anything.

Instead, we offer a map and then tools to live it. But here’s the new map. You’re not outside of nature, idiot. You’re inside nature and you depend upon it. Our relationships are our biospheres. We breathe them, you’re an ecosystem. You can pollute your biosphere with a temper tantrum over here, but your partner will retaliate with cold distance over here. There’s no escape, you’re linked. And the idea that you’re not linked is deluded. So once you wake up to the fact that I’m in it, I’m not above it, then all the rules change. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Who cares?

So objectivity battle. Here’s the bitter pill. Objectivity has no place in personal relations, I’m sorry. The relational answer or ecological answer, they’re two ways of saying the same thing. The relational answer to who’s right and who’s wrong is who gives a shit. What matters is how are you and I going to work this thing in a way that’s going to work for us? And proving who’s right and who’s wrong is not the way to do that.

Look, I’ve been married 40 years. When my wife and I have a disagreement over accuracy, who remembered it correctly? Whose feelings are more valid? Man, she’s a very difficult person, Belinda, and she has this nasty way of thinking she’s right and I’m wrong. I don’t know why she does that. It doesn’t work.

So let me give you an example of the new world. Here’s a true story. Okay?

Tim Ferriss: Okay.

Terry Real: True story. It’s totally heteronormative. Her to him, “You’re a reckless driver.” Him to her, “You’re overly nervous.” How many of us have been through this one? And everybody starts marshaling their evidence and arguing their case. “No, you’re nervous. You’re nervous about this.” “No, no, you’re reckless. You tailgate.” Okay, that’s an objectivity: who’s right? Who’s wrong?

After one session with me, true story, her to him, “Honey,” start with that, change your energy. “Honey, I know you love me. Right or wrong, maybe I’m overly nervous or whatever.” See, she just takes the whole battle off the table by talking subjectively. “Maybe I’m overly nervous. Nevertheless, when you tailgate and you go switch lanes and you speed up, I get crazy, I get scared. Now, when you’re driving on your own, I worry, but it’s your life. When I’m next to you, you don’t really want me sitting here being terrified the whole time we’re driving. As a favor to me, could you please slow down and drive more conservatively?”

And him to her, beat, beat, beat, “Okay,” and he does. What might’ve been a fight that lasted 40 years is done in 15 minutes because it moves out of objective, who’s the authority? Who’s right? Who’s wrong? What’s fair? What’s unfair? And it becomes relational. “We’re a team. You love me. As a favor to me, could you?” “Sure.” New world. New world and new tools.

Tim Ferriss: And just to underscore that, I remember hearing you give an example, and suppose the overarching point that I was going to underscore is there isn’t a threshold past which your objective data wins typically, right? So if you think your wife is yelling at a server at a restaurant, it doesn’t matter if you have an audiologist sitting right next to you with various types of measurement equipment, it’s still not going to work.

Terry Real: It’s not going to work. It’s not going to work. Of course, applying the scientific method to your relationship โ€” good luck.

Tim Ferriss: Yes. So I’m probably going to do a poor job of prompting this, but I found it so fascinating when I heard you present it once. And that was, in effect, the same way that people sometimes escalate problems where they say, “Da, da, da, da, then you always do this and it’s reflective of this character flaw, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,” and you could lay it out much more eloquently than I could, is the same way that you can de-escalate something if you apologize for it.

Terry Real: If you out yourself.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. Could you speak to that? Because I just thought that was such a brilliant turnaround technique when I heard it, that it stuck with me ever since.

Terry Real: Yeah. This is a step in the critical process of repair. And either in this one or you invite me back, I would love to lay out some skills. We did the losing strategy, I want to do some of the winning.

And here’s a skill that’s part of repair. First of all, look, all of us, when someone we care about confronts us with something difficult, we move into two orientations. The first is objective reality. Well, that’s true. That’s not true. That’s accurate, that’s not. Well, you got to understand that. And then we argue. In our heads, it’s not out of our mouths. We don’t listen, we rebut.

And then the second orientation we all go to is ourselves. “I can’t believe I have to put up with this crap. Belinda, I was just on the road telling thousands of people how to love each other and I come home and you  โ€”” Okay.

Let go of objective reality, let go of you, and take a breath. And I want everybody to write this one down. Enter into compassionate curiosity about your partner’s subjective experience. Let me say it again, compassionate curiosity about your partner’s subjective experience. They’re nuts, okay, but find out what kind of nut they are. “That feels bad, honey, tell me why that โ€” help me understand.” Who sounds like that? But that makes peace.

And then when they tell you, “You did this, you did this, you did this,” acknowledge it. Don’t deny it, don’t minimize it, don’t, “Yeah, but  โ€”” That’s not an apology, “Yeah, but  โ€”” “I did it.” Land on it. And if you really want to get slick, here’s the deal. This is the advanced course. You went right to the PhD. Here’s what I want you to notice. Generally speaking, functional moves in a relationship are moves that empower your partner to come through for you. Nobody gets this. Functional moves in a car make the car go. Dysfunctional moves stop it. Functional moves in a relationship empower the other guy to give you what you want. Dysfunctional moves render them helpless.

So what we do, because we’re trying to get heard, is we go, “You did this and last week you did that and 10 years ago you did that and you always and you never.” The normal escalation is from this moment to trend to character. And I teach people to stay particular and not do that because every move up that ladder renders the person you’re speaking to more helpless, and they’re either just going to get mad or leave or, “You did it, you always, you never, you are a โ€” you’re a slob.” “Okay, what do you want me to  โ€””

No. All right, so stay particular if you’re the disgruntled one. But if you’ve been confronted, a B is, “Yes, I did it.” Here’s an A. You walk up the same ladder I’m telling you not to do as the disgruntled one. You really, “I did it. It’s not the first time I’ve done it.” “Terry, the kids and I were waiting for you. You knew dinner was at 7:00, you come waltzing in at 7:45. You don’t call, you don’t text. It was really rude.” “You’re right, I did it. And I can be late. It’s an issue, we know that. And when I do that, I’m being thoughtless. I get caught up in the moment and I stop thinking about the impact I’m having. And that’s really kind of selfish of me. I do have some selfish tendencies. I’m working on it.” Holy shit, now that’s an apology.

So if your partner outs you, “You did it, you did it before, you often do it, you never, you always,” it’s terrible. But if you out you, oh, my God, your partner’s going, “Wow, there’s hope. This is great.” It’s a funny thing.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, it makes me think of, I think it was Hurt Locker and the bomb defusing. It’s like, “Wow, nice job. Nice job with the defusing.” And then, of course, ultimately, you should be working on this issue that you say you’re going to work on or pay attention to. 

Terry Real: Tell me if this is your technical bullshit.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, yeah. Right.

Terry Real: Actually โ€” I’m sorry, but I have another story. One of my clients told me this, it’s a true story. He said on his wedding day, and I say this, no offense, but particularly for men, on his wedding day, his father-in-law said, “Let’s go for a walk.” Okay. He says, “Son, I’ve got two things for you to master. You master just these two things, your marriage is going to be great.” He said, “Okay, Pops, I’ll buy. What you got?” He goes, “You’re really sorry and you’re going to work on it.”

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. Yeah, I imagine that’ll give you a lot of payoff over a lot of miles. What is, another term that I’d never heard before, being exposed to your work, normal marital hatred?

Terry Real: I got this from Ed Tronick, infant observational researcher. Ed, along with Berry Brazelton, was the first generation โ€” you know, since Freud, what we said about child development all came from listening to adults. We didn’t watch any kids. And he was one of the first people to actually plunk a video camera in front of mothers and infants and then fathers and infants and actually look at what happens. And when he came up with, I borrowed and it’s central to RLT, which is the essential rhythm of all relationships is harmony, disharmony, and repair. Closeness, disruption, and a return to closeness. That’s where the skills come in, how to move from disruption to repair.

Our culture doesn’t teach it. Our culture doesn’t even acknowledge that this rhythm, a good relationship is all harmony. Just like a good body is pure or a good body is like a 20-year-old body. A good sex life is like what you had when you were two weeks into the relationship. No, all harmony is bullshit. Bullshit.

One of the things I like about you, Tim, is you tell the truth. You know what? You go to a cocktail party and you go, “Oh, there’s Harry and Shirley. They’re in their 80s. They still have sex, they love each other.” Makes me โ€” one of these days I’d let you go to a cocktail party in here, “There’s Harry and Shirley. They actually split up for a year. He fell in love with another woman. He couldn’t take it because she was such a drunk. But then she got into AA and got sober and the two of them are really doing reasonably well. Aren’t they cute?” Just once, I’d like to hear that.

So we don’t deal with reality. The father of couple’s therapy back in the ’50s said, “The day you turn to the person who’s next to you,” it was assumed it was your marriage, “and you say, ‘This is a mistake. I’ve been had. This is not the person I fell in love with.’ That,” said Framo, “is the first day of your real marriage.”

So here’s what I want to say about disharmony. You ready? It hurts. It’s dark. You can really, really feel like, “What the hell did I get myself into? This is such a disappointment. And guess what? Your partner’s probably feeling that about you, too. So I talk about normal marital hatred. When you’re in that dark phase, you hate your partner. That’s okay. Don’t kill yourself or her. That’s okay. I’ll teach you how to get through it, but it’s part of the deal for many of them. And here’s what I like to say, I’ve been going around the world talking about normal marital hatred for, oh, my God, what? 30 years. This is true. Not one person has ever come backstage and said, “Terry, what do you mean by that?” It’s okay, kids. Don’t sweat it. You can get through it. It’s normal. Relax.

Tim Ferriss: What are some of the first steps or tools that you would recommend to someone listening who agrees with what you’re saying, but has had no models for repair, has never learned how to use any type of approach for repair? And this is something that your help, well, your direct help, and then also your books have really helped me with because I did not grow up in a household with repair, right? It was basically, one person screams, then the other person goes to fix, which they don’t really want to do, but it’s their attempt to basically quell the disaster and fury, and that’s it. Then everybody’s kind of upset, and it never gets addressed. That was the model growing up. So what do you suggest to people who want to start with repair?

Terry Real: Of course, I’m tempted to say, “So are you a screamer or a fixer?” But I won’t. Leave that alone.

Tim Ferriss: I’m a fixer. I’m not a screamer.

Terry Real: Oh, wow. Okay. Lucky for your partner, but โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Well, yeah.

Terry Real: The problem is the resentment that builds up.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, exactly. Yep.

Terry Real: Yeah. Okay. So, repair. First of all, I like to say I have a number of bitter pills to swallow, but if you swallow them, things will be a lot better in your life. And here’s one of them. Repair is a one-way street. Everybody gets that wrong. It’s not a dialogue. It’s not, well, these are your issues with me. Well, these are my issues with you. No. You have your turn, but not then. Take turns. So if you have a disgruntled partner, you are at their service โ€” that’s the first thing to master. I like to say, Tim, you’re at the customer service window. Somebody comes to the customer service window and says, “My microwave doesn’t work.” They don’t want to hear you say, “Well, my toaster doesn’t work.” They don’t want your excuses. Fix the goddamn microwave. Tend to your partner and bring them back into repair with you, then hours later or maybe, or the next, then they might have some interest in what you’re โ€” but tend to them. Put yourself aside and tend to them.

What does that look like? Two things. First, do I get it? Listen. Don’t argue. Don’t rebut. Listen. Empty the well. “I’m sorry you feel bad.” That’s beautiful. Compassion. “I’m sorry you feel bad. I love you. I don’t want you to feel bad. Help me understand. What feels bad? What’s it like for you?” Okay, and then you reflect, “This is what I hear you say. Did I get it?” Yeah, good enough. Good. Two, “Is there something I could say or do right now that would be helpful? What would you like?” Who says that? And then if anything short of jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, give it to them. Be generous. So those are the basics. I could be more specific, but โ€”

Tim Ferriss: Let me ask you a follow-up which is related to this. When someone is attempting to do this, but they’re having trouble biting their tongue because you ask what’s upsetting someone, or you ask them to describe their feelings, and they say, “Well, when you did this, this, and this,” and you disagree with their assessment of reality. We already talked about where objective reality, it doesn’t exist, but nonetheless, it could trigger a visceral response. What is your advice to people who struggle with that? Where it’s like, “That isn’t a reflection of reality. Come on.” And they want to rebut, but they’re not supposed to. How would you suggest they table it? What should they say to themselves, or do you have any other pieces of advice?

Terry Real: Well, we both know you’re a nut. Let’s investigate exactly what kind of nut you are. Let’s get curious. And actually, let’s get compassionate. One of the things I say is, “No one’s a nut to themselves.”

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Terry Real: The paranoid who’s crouched under the desk because the Russians have put germs in the ventilating system knows that we’re all going to die. And if you knew that there were germs, you’d be under there with him. No one doesn’t make sense to themself. They don’t make sense to you. So let go of you, and see if you can enter into the world of the person. When you show up to our interview with a t-shirt, these are the rules of speaking. I make up, we teach people to say, “What I make up is โ€”” No objective reality. “What I make up is you have a very casual feeling about this interview. Don’t you know that you’re talking to the great Terry Real? How about a little formality? And I feel really insulted.” Oh, yeah, you’re sitting there going, “Fuck you. Give me a break.” If we were partners, you would take a breath and you would go, “Okay, help me understand, what is it about the t-shirt that was so upsetting to you?” And then, “Okay, so you think it was disrespectful? Did I get that right?”

It’s like, “I know you’re a nut. I know that Russians didn’t put germs in the ventilating system, but I want to understand you. Look, I’m sorry that hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to be overly informal.” And then if you really want an A+, this is really parking your ego at the door, “I can understand how you might feel like that.” And really what it is, is, “I can understand, friend, thinking the nutty things you think. If you think that way, that you would feel like that.” So give it to them. Be generous. “I can understand how you might feel like that. Is there something I could say or do that would help you feel better?”

Tim Ferriss: Got it. All right, very helpful. I wanted to shift gears just a little bit, and we can go in a lot of different directions. We can also come back to repair because, as you said already, I mean, this is practically universally neglected in terms of any type of education that people tend to receive. But we’ll park that for a second. I wanted to know what types of deal breakers exist when you work with clients, and that could include addictions, psychiatric conditions, et cetera. But I wanted you to maybe run us through what that list looks like because I might want to double-click on a few of them.

Terry Real: Great. So if you go to my website, and I’m supposed to put in a plug for social media, you can follow me. May I say how?

Tim Ferriss: Of course.

Terry Real: Okay, let me get it right. You can follow me at all socials @RealTerryReal. So @RealTerryReal, or you can go to my website terryreal.com. Anyway, so I have an article about this. Should I stay or should I go? And the tool I use is what I call a relational reckoning. And it’s a question you ask yourself. Here’s the question. “Am I getting enough in this relationship to make grieving what I’m not getting worth my while?” Let me say that again. “Am I getting enough in this relationship to make the pain of what’s missing okay with me?” And if the answer is “Yes, it is okay,” then stop whining and embrace what’s good. Work the change to get more, but embrace what’s good and stop walking around like a big, angry victim. If the answer is “No, it’s not enough,” then do something about it. Lean in and fight. And if it doesn’t work, drag your partner to hopefully an RLT therapist, they’re the ones I believe in, and get an ally and get some help.

And if that doesn’t work, you’re done. You’re done. So okay. So in answering the question, what’s a deal-breaker, let me be clear. Deal-breakers come only after you’ve dragged your partner to a couples therapist, and one that actually helps. And you know you’ve heard me say, I don’t think most do, but get one that will side with you and be an ally and take that person on.

Okay, deal-breakers. Basically, do they want to work or not? If you want to work and they don’t, you could be done. And that could be an addiction, could be sexual acting out, could be anger, could be lying, could be withholding and passive aggression. But if you’re not getting what you want, and the truth of the matter is, your partner isn’t going to do the work of giving you more of what you want, you’re done. And there are a lot of variations on that. Obviously, if somebody’s got an active addiction and they don’t want to work on it, I would not. And people do. People go to Al-Anon and manage, but I’d prefer you break up. If somebody’s a rager or mistreating you, if they violate contracts, particularly monogamy, if they’re chronic liars, and if they have an untreated psychiatric condition, anxiety, depression.

And then, this is interesting, and I would really not trust yourself. I would only trust a professional. If there’s a massive difference in the maturity level of the two people, the evolution of the two people, the immaturity of the unevolved one will start to feel too painful to the more mature one. And they should leave and find a different partner.

Tim Ferriss: So when you, I guess a few questions related to everything you just said. The first is, I have to imagine that in many instances it’s one partner who, not necessarily drags the other person, but convinces them to do therapy. They’re not equally enthusiastic about perhaps being in front of the therapist. So I would imagine there’s a grace period of sorts to enlist the other person.

Terry Real: One session.

Tim Ferriss: One session.

Terry Real: Get one session.

Tim Ferriss: How do you do that, if one person is more resistant or stoic, and the other person is the one who’s more enthused, who sort of initiated that first session?

Terry Real: Instead of carrot and stick, I talk about leverage, negative and positive leverage. “Tim, your partner is saying you’re this, this, and this. She’s pretty fed up.” “Are you fed up, partner of Tim?” “Yeah, I’m fed up.” “How fed up are you exactly? Do you believe her? Why should he believe you?” And what I’m doing is, I’m amplifying the negative consequences. They’re there, but you’re not looking at them. So, my first move is to empower your partner to be firm and speak up to you. And I use that as leverage to get your interest.

So this is the negative thing that I can help you avoid. And here’s the positive thing I can deliver. Would you like a happier, warmer, sexier partner? Okay. And if you have kids, this is a big one. “Hey Tim, what kind of father did you have? What kind of father do you want to be? I’ve got bad and good news. If you don’t do this work, you’re going to do some version of what got done to you to them. You want to do that? Would you like to be a better father than the one you grew up with? Okay, well, you’ve got to let me help you.” And a lot of, particularly, men, who won’t do โ€” it’s hard work, this work, and they won’t do it for themselves, they won’t do it for their witchy wives. They will do it to spare their children. So I get buy-in, and it’s a combination of, “This is what’s going to happen to you if you don’t change, and this is what could happen for you if you do. Here’s the consequence, here’s the reward.”

Tim Ferriss: And when you’re talking about deal-breakers, could you just clarify in what sense they’re deal-breakers? Does it mean that you will not work with them as clients until they address one of those deal-breakers? For instance, they have addiction to alcohol or gambling, or whatever it might be. I found it interesting that you mentioned the anxiety and depression because one of the topics I wanted to talk to you about is male depression. And I guess I’m curious if you work with some of those in tandem, or if people are kind of left to their own devices to figure it out.

Terry Real: No, never. Never do that. I never confront somebody and they let them swing in the wind. I’m always right next to you telling you, “Okay, this is what you’re doing that ain’t working. Let me take your hand and teach you what does work.” And that’s different than a lot of other therapies. We roll up our sleeves and get granular. Tim, this isn’t you, I’m just โ€” “Tim, do you notice that your face is kind of frozen when you talk and you’re speaking in monotone?” And your wife is out of her mind right now because nobody’s ever said this to you, but she’s bored as hell next to you. “This is what I want you to do as we learn, really learn for you to start speaking about your feelings, I want you to go like this with your face.

Tim Ferriss: Animate it.

Terry Real: I want, yeah. “Let me see a little oomph here.” I mean, that’s what I call micro coaching. And we roll up our sleeves and get right next to you and teach you how to do it better. 

We call them preconditions: addiction, acting out, psychiatric conditions. Acting out either violence or sexual acting out. We will not take couples if there’s domestic violence. You go off to a safety program, you go off to a perpetrator program. I don’t ask people to tell the truth to power if it’s dangerous, safety for โ€” about the others, sexual acting out, addictions, psychiatric disorders, RLT therapists will meet with the couple, but only to talk about the issues. What are you going to do about your depression? What are you going to do about your womanizing? How are we going to settle this? The idea is, it would be bullshit for me to pretend that I can help you and your partner get closer while you’re still engaged in this though.

Tim Ferriss: Right.

Terry Real: So sobriety first. I will meet with a couple, but to deal with what you’re not dealing with, then we can work on your relationship.

Tim Ferriss: So let’s double-click on your first book, I Don’t Want to Talk About It, because I know Peter Attia, who’s an old friend of mine, of course, very well known doc these days, is a huge fan of this book. I have not yet read it. I apologize for that. But I would love for you to perhaps describe what people get wrong about male depression, or we could dive directly into covert depression. Because I’m wondering how many of these preconditions might be explained by depression, as opposed to being separate problems.

Terry Real: Yeah, great. First of all, for those who haven’t, please read Peter’s book Outlive. It’s great. And the last chapter is about his work with me and Esther Perel. It’s about his own psychological work. And also, if I may, Peter had a podcast that we did together and he talked about his work with me. It was very moving. So look those two things up.

Male depression, when I wrote that book, it’s 30 years old. It’s selling as well as my new book, by the way. It’s really been a keeper. Depression was seen as a woman’s disease, and I argued against that. And what I said is that a lot of men have the same kind of depression that we normally think of. I call it overt depression. But a lot of men, unlike women, have what I call covert depression. You don’t see the depression. You see what the man is doing to defend against the depression.

And many of the problems we think of as typically male may be fueled by depression. So self-medication, rage, philandering, radical withdrawal, all of these may be symptoms of an underlying depression. A lucky guy gets what we call a dual diagnosis. Forgive me I can’t be, you know the joke. “You’re terminal.” “I want a second opinion.” “Okay, you’re ugly.” It’s like, okay, the bad news here is you’re addicted, and the worst news is underneath the addiction, you’ve got depression. Lucky guy gets a dual diagnosis. Unlucky guy gets one or the other. If you stumble into an addictions person, they’ll clean up your addiction, but they won’t deal with them. If you go to a psychiatrist, they’ll give you meds for your depression, but you’re drinking like a fish. First you have to deal with the defenses. When they settle down and move into some level of sobriety, then the underlying depression comes. You don’t even have to go after it. It comes up.

I say the cure for a covert depression is an overt depression, and once the pain comes up, you deal with it. But I think part of the reason why that book has lasted for 30 years is there’s a third piece, which is, not only do men express depression differently, but the etiology is different. Girls and women get depressed because they famously lose their voices and blame themselves and turn inward. 

Boys and men get depressed because of what I call normal boyhood trauma under patriarchy. We are taught at three, four, five years old to deny our vulnerability, to disconnect from our feelings, to disconnect from others, all in the name of autonomy. We cut off half of our humanity, the feelings, the vulnerability, connection, really, in some ways, the most rich, nourishing parts of what it means to be a human. And that cutoff, which is imposed on boys, I have story after story, that cutoff is traumatic. And it also renders you isolated and lonely. So there’s a lot of trauma. That trauma becomes depression, that depression becomes acting out or self-medication. And if you really want to heal someone, you hit all three layers. First the defenses, then the depression, then the childhood trauma.

Tim Ferriss: How do you think about teasing out when, for instance, addiction is paired with underlying depression, maybe downstream of it versus independent? Because I suppose there’s a risk of asking a barber if you need a haircut in the sense you go to the surgeon, they tell you you need surgery. You go to the fill-in-the-blank, right, they tell you that you need whatever their specialty happens to be, just like you mentioned with getting the single diagnosis versus the dual diagnosis. So how do you determine if something is actually paired with underlying depression, since that’s the, sort of, example we’re talking about in men versus independent.

Terry Real: It’s really simple. When the person starts to get sober, do they get depressed?

Tim Ferriss: I see.

Terry Real: And the depression that they get looks just like psychiatric depression.

Tim Ferriss: I see what you’re saying. So if they’re a workaholic and they pare that down, does the depression then have room to breathe and express itself, basically? When the coping mechanism is removed in some capacity.

Terry Real: Yeah. As opposed to you remove the coping mechanism and, “Oh, my God, I’m so much better.” However, you can cut out the middle piece depression, but 99 out of 100, you go from sobriety to trauma. You have to deal with the underlying trauma. My great mentor, Pia Mellody, a great legend in the 12-step community, ran The Meadows for 70 years. First the addiction, then the personality issues, and then underlying childhood trauma. If you don’t deal with the underlying trauma, it’s going to be hard for that person to stay sober.

Tim Ferriss: What type of approaches or modalities do you favor for working with trauma when you get to that layer?

Terry Real: We like to do trauma work with your partner sitting next to you. And we’re unique in that. And I’ve got to tell you, I’ve argued against what I call toxic individualism in this culture, and psychotherapy is up to its eyeballs in supporting individualism and supporting patriarchy.

Tim Ferriss: I want to ask you about this word patriarchy, because you have so many messages that I think I want to convey to, not just a male audience, but I have a very large male audience, and I feel like patriarchy can be a very loaded term and that there are matriarchal or matrilineal, there are patrilineal societies, both of which function pretty well. And I’m just wondering how you think about using versus not using that term, because I feel like there’s a risk that you might turn off men who actually need to hear a lot of what you have to say. How do you think about that?

Terry Real: It is what it is. So let me talk about what I mean, and then we can talk about the marketing of it.

I make a distinction between what I call political patriarchy and psychological patriarchy, and political patriarchy is the oppression of women by men. It’s all over the globe, and it’s deadly in some cultures. It’s a very real thing. Psychological patriarchy is basically traditional masculinity writ large. I’ll double back, but psychological patriarchy, traditional masculinity, guys, listen up, is a system that does damage to everybody, everybody. And does deep, deep damage to our relationships.

What do I mean by that? Let me just take traditional masculinity. The essence of traditional masculinity under patriarchy, the overarching system, is invulnerability. The more invulnerable you are, the more manly you are, the more vulnerable you are, the more girly you are, and that is not a good thing. And of course, we both know there’s been a huge resurgence, a backlash. “Don’t tell us we’re bad people. I’m a guy, and I want to exert my  โ€”” I’m not talking about not being powerful. I’m talking about not being dominant. There’s a difference.

Riane Eisler talks about power over versus power with. I want men to be powerful, and I also want women to be powerful. I want all of us to be whole. And what patriarchy does is, it’s what Carol Gilligan calls the binary. These human qualities are feminine. A good man has none of them. These human qualities are masculine. A good woman has none of them. And it’s what Olga Silverstein called the halving process. You take a whole human being, you draw a line down the middle, half of your humanity say goodbye to. That is not healthy. That’s not good for anybody. So vulnerability, for example, what we do, the way we, quote-unquote turn boys into men under patriarchy is through disconnection. We teach them to disconnect from their feelings. There’s hard research. Three, four, five little boys have more feelings than little girls, actually. They’re more sensitive.

But by three, four, or five, they know better than they open their mouths and say anything. They’ve read the code. So no vulnerability, no emotion, not too connected to others. You’re independent. Great. Here’s what I say. I would say it to you if you showed up in my office. “Tim, the things you learned as a boy about what makes a good man are the very qualities that will ensure that by today’s standard, you’ll be seen as a lousy husband.”

Across the board, I’ll just deal with heterosexuals for a moment. Women want men’s hearts, they want connection. “Tell me what the fuck you’re feeling. Open your mouth and share with me. When I come to you with a feeling, be compassionate and not dismissive.” Well, guess what? All of that goes against what was imposed on you as a boy about how to handle yourself as a man. But one of the things I say is moving men, women, non-binary folk into true intimacy is synonymous with moving them beyond traditional gender roles, beyond patriarchy. Men have to move into vulnerability and open their hearts. Women have to move into assertion with love โ€” not with harshness, but with love. And doing that on both sides moves beyond anything that this culture teaches us. It’s pioneer work.

Tim Ferriss: Thank you for unpacking that. We might come back to it. I’m happy to talk about that more. I have follow up questions, but I don’t want to take us off track with the trauma question because you were talking about one of the supposed defining and unusual characteristics by conventional therapy standards is that RLT does trauma work with the partner present. That’s where I, then, took us on a side quest with the question about patriarchy 

Terry Real: Yeah. As a relational therapist who argues against exaggerated individualism, look, here’s the thing. We’ve never wanted more from our relationships than we do right now. It’s historically new. We don’t think historically, so we don’t get this, but our parents, grandparents, a companionable marriage was plenty good enough, but we want more. We want real intimacy and to sustain it. We want to hold hands, walk on the beach, have heart to hearts, have great sex in our 60s and 70s. I mean, we want to be lifelong lovers. This is new. Marriage was never built for that. Go into Western literature and find me a passionate marriage. All passion is adulterous.

Tim Ferriss: It’s new.

Terry Real: Yeah, it’s new. But we live in an anti-relational culture โ€” that’s patriarchy. We live in a culture that’s about up down, win, lose, right, wrong. No, we have to wake up to ecological wisdom. We’re a team. We’re in this together. “What do you need, honey? It’s in my interest to keep you happy.” That’s the new world order. And not to diss on man, but I’ve got these big burly guys and they say, “Why should I have to work so hard to please my wife?” And I go, “Knock, knock. You live with her. It’s in your interest.” That’s what I teach people. It’s in your interest to learn how to do this though.

Tim Ferriss: And also I just say for clarification that you mean to keep someone happy, but in an interdependent, not codependent way. Because it’s easy to go into that fixing mode to think you’re making someone happy.

Terry Real: You’re right. And I didn’t say it’s in your interest to make them happy, what I really say it’s in your interest to take care of your biosphere. And if you’re riding the one up, at some point we should talk about that, if you’re more in the one up and you’re more entitled, demanding, dominant, you don’t listen, you’ve got to come down off your high horse. If you ride in the one down like a fixer, “Oh, my God, oh, my God, my partner’s upset.” Codependent. You need to take a breath. What your biosphere needs is for you to be assertive and be more conflictual.

Fight a little more, stand up for yourself. You have to correct what’s off. It’s not one size fits all, it’s what’s off for you. If you’re one up, come down. If you’re one down like a fixer, then assert yourself and take some risks. But both are vulnerability. When we think of vulnerability, we think of sensitivity, but for a fixer like you, standing up for yourself and “Oh, my God, they may get mad at me,” that’s vulnerability for you. So what does my biosphere need?

Carol Gilligan says there can be no voice without relationship. So come down off your high horse if you’re dominant. There can be no relationship without voice. So I would work with someone like you and I would have you, okay, I want you to identify what you’re feeling. I want you to identify what you want and need right now. Don’t worry about pleasing them. What does Tim want? And I want to teach you how to articulate that in a way that might get listened to. May I hypothesize about you?

Tim Ferriss: Sure, go for it.

Terry Real: This could be wrong, but here we go. “What I make up,” as we say. So you have this dominant, I’m assuming, father โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, it was father.

Terry Real: โ€” and this codependent, unhappy mother. This is what I call the unholy triad of patriarchy. You’ll wonder why so many men are love avoidant or avoiders. Well, here’s why. You have an irresponsible or shut down father, you have an unhappy mother, and I guarantee this was you, a sweet, sensitive, big-hearted young boy. The mother doesn’t have to do a thing to enmesh him, to use him. That boy looks at his unhappy mother and says, “What can I do to make her happy?” And he lets go of what he wants and needs and becomes her caretaker emotionally.

Grows up and his template for relationship is “I’m a caretaker, I’m a fixer, I’ve got to take care of them. My needs, nobody gives a shit.” So what that breeds maybe, maybe not, is what we call a love avoidant. You live behind walls because relationships mean “I surrender my needs and to care-take them. I’m a human, so I need relationships, so I pull them in, but once they’re in, I’ve got to keep them at arm’s length or they’ll eat me alive.” So you live behind walls to protect yourself. That’s that adaptive trial. How am I doing?

Tim Ferriss: I mean, you’re 100 percent spot on. I think at the very end I had a question in my mind as to whether I have those types of walls because I don’t know what they might look like. So perhaps could you give me an example of what those might look like and then I could tell you yes?

Terry Real: How good are you at identifying what you want in a relationship and assertively going after it?

Tim Ferriss: I’d say pretty good at identifying. Could be a lot better at proactively going after it and requesting it. Tend to be very indirect. So yeah, that would be accurate to say for sure.

Terry Real: Yeah. And the cost of that indirectness is you don’t get your needs met and then resentment grows and whatever.

Tim Ferriss: Making progress. Making progress.

Terry Real: I can feel that, by the way. I can feel that. I would teach you the cure for love avoidance is negotiation. I would teach you to identify what you want and lean in and have the daring to break the rules and say, “Hey, you know what? I don’t want to eat Indian tonight. I want to eat Japanese. And the last two nights we ate what you wanted and tonight we’re doing Japanese.” “Well, I don’t like that, Tim.” “Well, okay.” And for you fixers, I say, “Let the bad thing happen.”

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, that’s good.

Terry Real: That adaptive child part of you is petrified of conflict. You don’t want to make Dad angry and you don’t want to make Mom unhappy. You’re a fixer. You’re a good boy. You want to bring peace. Well, I would say because this is where trauma enters into our relationship. That adaptive child part of you has no model for healthy conflict. It’s either yelling and screaming or giving in. And we children, we look at Mom and Dad, we go, “I’ll be that one.” You looked at mom, “I’ll be that one. I don’t want to be Dad. I don’t want to be that aggressive.” So you don’t have a healthy template for healthy aggression.

Tim Ferriss: Didn’t have that model.

Terry Real: Yeah, me too. I had a violent father. And I would teach you how to have healthy conflict and feel good about that, but it would be very scary initially.

Tim Ferriss: So you nailed a couple of things that I want to revisit. So the first, and this will come back into the patriarchy thing too, because what you do, Terry, is so powerful and so important. I want as many men to listen to it as possible, which is why I’m talking about the patriarchy piece. It’s not because I disagree with a lot of what you’re saying, although I do have some clarifying questions. So one thing you said is you hypothesized. The story you make up is that I was very, very sensitive or I was a very sensitive young kid, which is true.

I was very sensitive, much more so than my schoolmates. And then for a host of reasons, also including some pretty terrible childhood abuse, not from my family, ended up trying that. Yeah, I’ve written about it extensively, but yeah, maybe another time. But the upshot of it is that I turned that off, emotions, insensitivity, or liability. So I completely compartmentalized that, locked it, put it away. And that continued to be the case and I paid a lot for that. There was some upside. There’s some upside.

I had a very high pain tolerance. I could handle certain things. I could be aggressive and take a lot of shots in the course of doing various things, competitive sports, business, whatever. So I had some quote-unquote “success” from that, but there was a lot of collateral damage. And then around 2013, for a number of reasons, including a relationship I thought was going to end in marriage and kids coming to a halt decided to reopen the doors and reactivate that sensitivity. That’s been a project for the last 12 years or so.

Terry Real: Brilliant and courageous both. Congratulations.

Tim Ferriss: Thank you. And so that’s been an incredibly rewarding and challenging path thus far, and it continues. I don’t regret having done that. My question, I suppose, and this might seem a little out of left field, is that, when you’re talking about men being available to their partners and emotionally attuned, and I know I’m using different vocabulary. I agree โ€” 

Terry Real: That’s all good.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I agree with all of that, but I suppose some people listening might feel like men and women might be positioned as equivalents in a lot of ways, emotional doppelgangers. And I’m just wondering if you feel like there are any patterns in terms of male and female differences that you spot again and again that don’t need to be fixed, that they’re actually just whether intrinsic or otherwise differences to embrace. And I’m just curious what your thoughts are there. I tend to think there are, but I’m curious what your position is on that.

Terry Real: I don’t know. Who are we beyond our socialization? I don’t know. What I do know is that the bifurcation of men and women under patriarchal culture, which is virtually ubiquitous in the world, is so strong. You gave up your sensitivity because your sensitivity was punished. And the playground is the greatest enforcer of traditional roles. You learn. Three, four, five-year-old boys learn to keep their mouths shut or they’re going to get punished.

And for the guys out there, I’ve got to say, after 50 years, for a girl to cross into boy land, it’s yeah, she’ll get some shit. For a boy to cross into girl land evokes violence, emotional, and I’m sorry, at times, even physical violence. It’s dangerous to break the rules. It’s dangerous to stand up for being whole in this culture. And I talked to parents about having their boys be literate, gender literate. Can I tell you a story?

Tim Ferriss: Of course. I love your stories.

Terry Real: So when my kids were little, I’ve got two kids, one’s a massive jock, Justin, and one is a gay doctor, ballet dancer. Danced professionally and he’s got vibes. Anyway, they were both amazing and very, very different kids. And we went off to vacation and it was the Dominican Republic and they had cornrows put in their hair. The kids did that. My little one, Alexander, who turned out to grow up to be gay, did his whole head in cornrows and they were green โ€” no, pink and gold, his favorite colors.

His older brother, Justin the jock, had a couple of Keith Richards, cool, rock and roll. All right. It’s time to go to school, we’re back from vacation, but then I sit them down and go, “Here’s the deal. If you go to school with that in your hair, you may get crap from the other kids. If you don’t go to school with that in your hair, you may feel like you’ve missed out on expressing yourself. And it could be the kids are going to love that stuff in your hair. I don’t know. What do you guys want to do? It’s not my decision, it’s yours.”

And we talked to the boys about, “Do you want to express yourself and deal with the crap you’re going to get, or do you want to comply and deal with the inauthenticity of that? It’s your choice, not ours.” I don’t make those choices for my boys, but it’s on-the-table conversation. So they both said, “Sure.” And as the older one who delved in the Keith Richards โ€” he puts his foot in the car, he goes, “I can’t do it.” And we wind up cutting his hair. His brother, Mr. Pink and Gold, was, like, the toast of the town, but it could have gone another way.

So I would teach young Tim how to negotiate his sensitivities so that when they were welcome, they were overt and when they were unwelcome, you put up a shield of toughness to protect yourself, and having some sense of which moment is when.

Tim Ferriss: How did you navigate that with your boys? How did you raise your boys? I’d be so curious to hear more about it, because there is a time to โ€” it’s not limited to men, of course, or boys, but I think there’s a lot of value placed, and I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing, on competition and winning and so on and so forth. And I’m just so curious, since you mentioned the jock, in particular, how did you think about raising those two boys and did you raise them any differently?

Terry Real: I did. No, they were both raised similarly to one another, but they’re very different from the culture at large. It’s funny. We just had our first Relational Life Therapy annual conference and my sons got on stage with me and the older one, Justin the jock, was very funny. He looked at the crowd and he said, “You know, being the son of two therapists, the way I grew up, you want to talk to me about how your nanny had sex with you when you were five or your deepest anxiety? I’m there. No problem. It took me into my 20s to learn how to sit on a bar stool, have a beer, and talk to the guys about a game. Nobody’s perfect.”

The thing is I want whole people. And I’m going back to people who may be turned off by what I’m saying. It absolutely kills me when people describe my work as “Terry’s trying to feminize men.” No, I want whole human beings. I want smart, sexy, competent women. I want powerful, big-hearted, compassionate men. We don’t need to halve ourselves in compliance to the world order. We can be whole. And the issue is whole and adaptable. What is this moment calling for? And I’ve got to tell this story. This is one of my favorite stories.

Tim Ferriss: Please.

Terry Real`: So I had the privilege of going to Maasai land in Tanzania with another family who knew this particular compound, these guys very well. It took 10 hours of driving to get to them. They were remote and this is the real deal. I mean, we’re talking earlobes down here and everybody, they have spears and they kill lions and these are real warriors. So I had a men’s group with the elders for four nights running and we talked about everything.

So I go like this to them, “In the United States, there’s a debate about what makes a good man?” Morani, warrior, all one word. “What makes a good Morani?” “Some people say a good Morani is sensitive and thoughtful and kind. Some people say a good Morani is fierce and tough and no bullshit. What do you guys think? Which is it?” True story, Tim. So this little guy who’s got to be four foot three and a thousand years old, crooks his finger and he sounds like he’s totally pissed at me. And “Blah, la, la.”

And it goes from Maasai to Swahili to English to Swahili, and this is what he says, “I have no interest in talking to you about what makes a good Morani. I could[n’t] care less. But I will talk to you about what makes a great Morani.” He said, “When the moment calls for fierceness, a good Morani will kill you. Don’t mess with him. I mean, he’ll kill you. When the moment calls for tenderness, a good Morani will lay down his sword and shield and be sweet like a baby. A great Moroni is a man who knows which moment he’s with.”

Tim Ferriss: That’s good. Yeah, that’s very good.

Terry Real: I want whole people who can adapt to what’s in front of them. That’s health.

Tim Ferriss: How did you and your wife think about changing how you would raise your kids from how you were raised? How did you think about think that? And just be curious to hear you approach that from whatever angle makes sense.

Terry Real: Well, as you probably know, both my wife and I came from terrible trauma, terribly violent families. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. And four books, 40 years, here’s probably been my single most famous quote. They say it’s the height of attention to quote yourself, but I’ll do it. Family pathology rolls from generation to generation like a fire in the woods taking down everything in its path until one person in one generation has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to their ancestors and spares the children that follow.

Belinda and I made a rock solid commitment that we were not going to leak the kind of reactivity and violence that we grew up with on our kids. And we didn’t. We did it on each other. We had a real rock ’em sock ’em marriage for years. We were both fighters, but we spared the children. And they know that. And they’re really robust, radiantly healthy boys. I am the son of an angry, depressed father. He was the son of an angry, depressed father. I have two boys, neither of them say that and neither will their children. And that is the greatest achievement of my life.

Tim Ferriss: I mean, it’s an amazing achievement. And I’d love to get a little more, not microscopic, but granular in the sense that a lot of people say they want to change. A lot of people have nearest resolutions and they say, “You know what, I’m not going to be the diabetic my parent was because I can fix it. I can change it.” And they don’t change. So I’m wondering how, especially since you had the rock ’em sock ’em experience in your marriage, what were the actions you took or the strategies you had to check yourselves and ensure that you weren’t letting those older, inherited behaviors bleed into your parenting?

Terry Real: Well, first of all, get help. Men don’t get help. In the book, I said a man is about as likely to get help for depression as he is to ask for directions. If you come from a tough background, I say this to the people I work with all the time, you can come from what you came from and have the happy, healthy family you want without doing a shitload of therapy, a shitload of work. Men’s groups, women’s groups, 12-step groups, therapy, but therapy that works. But the first thing I want to say is thank God you don’t have to do this on your own because you won’t know what to do. Get help. And get help that helps.

Tim Ferriss: So you guys had help.

Terry Real: Years and years of spiritual work. I’ve been meditating over 50 years, and all stripe of therapy work. There’s a saying: “Therapists are people who need to be in therapy 40 hours a week.” I became a professional therapist to heal myself and then I became a family therapist to learn how to have a relationship. I mean, I was so far behind the starting gate. In 12-step, one of the things folks say is “The last phase is gratitude.” I was so on the ropes.

Unlike a lot of people, if I did my default, I’d be dead now. That’s true. A lot of my friends I grew up with are dead. If I did what I learned, I’d be dead. I had no choice but to go under or reconfigure myself. And that’s a gift. Same with Belinda. And we are. We’re reconstructed human beings. Belinda calls us retreads, like a tire. And I love reconstructed human beings. We have a lot of depth. And if I can do it, you can do it. There’s a way to do it no matter where you come from, but you’ve got to be willing to do the work, and it’s hard goddamn work.

Tim Ferriss: What do your group therapy experiences look like? I remember, and I don’t think you would mind me saying this, I’ll double-check with them after we finish recording, but Kevin went through a group, I want to say for lack of a better way to describe it, therapy experience with seven or eight people. He didn’t tell me anything.

Terry Real: Men. Men’s group.

Tim Ferriss: Men. Men. And he didn’t tell me anything about the content, of course, but it had a really big impact on him. And I’m curious what the format was, what the rules looked like for a men’s group like that.

Terry Real: We start off with check-ins. How’s everybody doing? What’s on your mind? And then either we move into a theme that emerges. So my practice is 10 full-pay people and four pro bono at any given time. And the 10 who pay, they tend to be high rollers. So here’s a group of some of the bigger mover and shaker guys in the world right now and then we had a hilarious time talking for two hours about how we were all petrified of our wives.

So sometimes that theme will emerge. Fathers, anger, self-medication, being afraid of our wife. And/or as the check-in evolves, one person will pop and I’ll go deep and do trauma work with you. We’re not going to do it, just go around anyway, but if you were in the group at some point I would say, “I want to go back to that little boy who learned how to be a fixer. How old were you when you first adopted that? Four or five is whatever it was. Close your eyes, go into your body, find that four-year-old boy, ask him to come out and sit in a chair facing you. What’s he look like? How do you feel toward him? What do you want to say to him? What does he need to hear from you? What’s it like for him? How does he respond to what you just said?” 

And I get into a dialogue between you and this little boy. Of course it’s very emotional. And it ends, always, with you saying to that little part of you, “I’m here now. I can take care of you. Your angry partner may not be available and that’s frightening to you, but I’m available. We don’t need her. You turn to me.” And that’s transformative. So I do deep trauma work in the men’s group or we do a theme or we just all hang out and talk about what’s going on in our lives, any or all of the above.

Tim Ferriss: Are there any guidelines for how people can respond to what someone else says or discloses? I’m just thinking there’s sometimes rules in organizations like the Entrepreneurs Organization and in forums and things like this and these smaller-sized groups. Do you think if somebody was thinking about creating something like this for themselves, and I know it’d be good to have a professional involved, of course, but are there any other rules or guidelines that you think are helpful in these types of groups?

Terry Real: As you know, I have eight million sayings, here’s one of them: “Generally speaking, unsolicited advice doesn’t go very well.” So we all learned to have good boundaries in these groups, which we can double back and talk about. A core principle of RLT is what we call full-respect living. I may disagree with how you think, but I hold you in respect. And it is a part of the culture of the group that we speak to one another with humility, this is what I’m making up, Tim, and with respect. No one in these groups said, “What a fucking asshole. How can you do this to me?” We just don’t talk to each other that way. And I never had to make that explicit. It just happened.

Tim Ferriss: When you were talking about identifying the age of the little boy and having him sit in the chair, for some people listening, they might hear echoes of, say, Internal Family Systems, IFS. Does your approach โ€” is it similar to that? Does it differ from it? How do you think about that?

Terry Real: Let’s do this briefly because this could be a whole โ€” there are some similarities. For example, there’s a three part of the psyche, what I call the wise adult has some correlation to what Dick calls self, what he calls protectors and managers has some correlation to what I call the adaptive child and his exiles, my wounded child. So there’s some similarities, but there are also some very distinct differences.

I don’t believe that the adaptations that you learned as a kid are all defensive or are all about protecting the wound. And I believe there are bad parts. Dick is almost a religious fervor that there’s no such thing as a bad part. No, there are grandiose, retaliatory parts of you that you really need to corral and they’re not all there. And there’s also entitlement and privilege and it’s not all grouped around protecting a vulnerability.

We think that in psychiatry too. We think all grandiose behavior is a defense against shame. No, some grandiose behavior is just entitlement and hatred. That’s part of where humanity. I don’t think Hitler killed millions of Jews because he was protecting a vulnerable part of himself, there’s more to it than that. So we take on some of the issues of grandiosity and entitlement and some of the less savory parts of our humanity in a way that I don’t think IFS quite does.

Tim Ferriss: Broadly speaking, do you think there are any new or particular challenges with modern relationships? Whether it be โ€” 

Terry Real: Oh, my God.

Tim Ferriss: Dating or marriage, anything that is relatively new on the scene, in your opinion?

Terry Real: Well, polyamory is interesting.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, let’s talk about it. Fire away.

Terry Real: Well, Belinda and I had spent three months in Costa Rica, and amongst the young expats who can’t find a monogamous couple anywhere, and polyamory is a real challenge. Monogamy is the challenge too. I used to say that monogamy is unnatural in open marriages. Wow, hold on. So people trying to โ€” there are people experimenting with different models of intimacy and, okay, open the doors and there are challenges.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I remember I was chatting with someone who had experimented with every variant of polyamory and she referred to it as polyagony. That was her label for it. But I would love to know, are there challenges for monogamy now that didn’t seem to exist 20 or 30 years ago or that are just much more exaggerated now?

Terry Real: Yeah, a number of things. First of all, we men are trying to figure out what the hell we are. And here, someone once described my work as “Women have had a revolution and now men have to deal with it and no one knows what to do.” Women have had a revolution and they are speaking up and they are insisting on intimacy from us guys in ways that are exactly in conflict with our traditional role as men. Erik Erikson said, “It’s a sign of a healthy culture that socialization practices in childhood equip you to succeed in your adult roles, and it’s the sign of a culture and transition when there’s a disjuncture between the two.”

And for men there’s a disjuncture. What traditional masculinity teaches you as a boy, whether you want it or not, often through punishment, by today’s standards, will give you problems in your relationship. You’ve got to be vulnerable, you’ve got to open your heart. Literally, you have to reconfigure masculinity in order to be a good partner these days, and people need help with that. The cultural response to feminism and women’s empowerment has been a big backlash. You know the Manosphere and that sobering [series] Adolescence, there’s a big resurgence of “I’m a man and I’m tired of being told I’m bad and go screw yourself.” It ain’t going to work. The toothpaste ain’t going back in the tube.

So what I say is I don’t want women to stand down. I want men to stand up and meet these new demands. Look, I’ve been saying this for 40 years and research has finally caught up with me. Relationality, intimacy, open-hearted connection. The ace that we RLT therapists have in our back pockets, that’s what we human beings are designed for. We’re designed to be intimate. Not being intimate โ€” I know you do a lot of great work with health on your podcast. Not being intimate is as bad for your body as smoking a pack and a half of cigarettes a day. This is hard, black and white research. We are born to be intimate. Moving beyond traditional gender roles is the only way to get there. So stop whining, stand up, and learn a few relational skills. It’s good for you, it’s good for your body, you’ll live longer, it’s good for your marriage, and it’s good for your children, and let me help you learn how to do this better โ€” and that’s revolutionary.

You’ve got a lot of people out there. I’m so happy to be on this podcast with you, truly. You’ve got a lot of people out there, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not putting up with it. We men need to reclaim our power and โ€”” No, we need to open our hearts and listen. And listen, here’s a simple way. You don’t like patriarchy, here’s what I โ€” I teach the men I work with to learn to become family men. Here’s how you’re a family man. You decentralize yourself. I wrote this in I Don’t Want to Talk About It. “A boy’s question of the world is “What do you got for me?” A man’s question of the world is “What’s needed here?” And I teach men to show up as men and not boys. What’s needed here?

Research on happiness is, I like black and white research. If you get a gift, you’re happy, you get happier for a bit. If you give a gift, you’re even happier and longer than if you get it. What men need to understand is it’s good for us to be empowered, be assertive, and also to be connected and show up and ask ourselves what’s needed here? How do I need to show up here? That’s a man.

Tim Ferriss: I liked that framing, the questions and how they differ for boys and men. It does, I think, perhaps to some listeners sound like men have a lot of heavy lifting to do and women have had this revolution and all is well in woman land. Is there such a thing as toxic femininity? Is there collateral damage to all of these societal shifts?

Terry Real: Yes. I’m glad you brought this up because in family therapy we talk about first and second order change. First order change is just a rearrangement. Tommy’s truant. Get Tommy to not be truant and then Sally starts pooping her pants. It’s like, okay, well, rearranging the furniture. Second order change is a revolution. No kid has to be symptomatic. In our culture, there’s a lot of what I call individual empowerment. “I was weak, now I’m strong. Go screw yourself. I am woman. I have found my voice. Hear me roar.” No. And you get a lot of, I’m going to get into trouble, but too bad. You get a lot of people in that traditional feminine side of the equation. It doesn’t matter what body you’re in, you as a fixer on that feminine side.

You get a lot of the people on the feminine side move from disempowerment to individual empowerment. I call it “I was weak. Now I’m strong. Go screw yourself.” And everybody will cheer. Mom, dad, therapist, 12-step sponsors, your men’s group. No. Relational empowerment is the next step. “I was weak. Now I’m strong. I’m going to go toe to toe with you. I’m going to tell you just what I want and need. Now listen to this. What could I give you to help you do that for me? Who sounds like that? We’re a team. I love you. What do you need? Let’s work together.” 

That’s the next step. And a lot of women, early stage feminism moved from disempowerment to individual empowerment. As a couples therapist, often the bane of my existence as an individual therapist who’s individually empowered their client right out of a workable relationship. No, “I was weak. Now I’m strong. I love you. We’re a team. Let’s roll up our sleeves and work on this together.” That’s the new world order.

Tim Ferriss: We’ve covered a lot of ground. I’m looking at all my notes. There’s a lot that we, I’m sure, could cover, but are there any other tools that you would like to cover? 

Terry Real: Yes, I want to go back and talk about the relational empowerment versus individual empowerment because here’s how I say it. Under patriarchy, you can either be connected, that’s you, the fixer, accommodating, self-sacrificing, peacemaking, or you can be assertive. That’s more traditionally masculine, independent, competent, aggressive, but you can’t be both at the same time because power is power over. When you move into power, you break connection. That’s individual empowerment. “I was weak, now I’m strong. I don’t care how I sound. Just listen.” No, you do care how you sound or you’re not going to get listened to. I teach people, and particularly women in this one or whoever’s coming up from the one down, what I call loving power.

Tim Ferriss: And could you, just for the sake of just revisiting, just describe one up one down one more time ’cause people may not have gotten that.

Terry Real: Yeah, it’s what Pia called, my great mentor, “coming out from under the great lie that a human being could be inherently superior or inferior to another human being.” Healthy self-esteem, which I have to teach people in this culture comes from the inside out. You’re here, you’re worthy, you’re lovable, you’re a good human being because you’re breathing, period, and your essential worth can’t be added to, it can’t be subtracted from. This is democracy. This is one person, one vote. We’re all equal under the law โ€” until recently, anyway. This is democracy, but we don’t live like this. We live in the world of patriarchy, which is one up, one down, superior, inferior, better than, less than, all day long.

And the one down, shame, inferiority, helplessness, defectiveness, unlovability. For 50 years my field has focused on helping people come up from that one down. Good. But we’ve almost totally ignored helping people come down from the one up entitlement, anger, judgment, contempt, self-righteous indignation, all forms of grandiosity. There’s a lot of ink now being spilled on the so-called narcissistic partner, which is almost always a man. And the idea is “They can’t be treated, leave him.” Bullshit. That’s more individual empowerment. We treat grandiose men breakfast, lunch, and dinner at RLT. Come down from that entitlement, come down from that contempt. It’s poison for you. Let me teach you how to do it. You’ll be happier. And we do. We effectively help people come down from the one up.

Tim Ferriss: How do you do that? Just because people probably view this as very unfamiliar territory, as you mentioned, 50 years of bringing people up from one down, but how do you bring someone down a step back to baseline from grandiosity?

Terry Real: You have to wake them up. There are three phases to RLT. The first we call waking up the client, which is loving confrontation, which most therapy doesn’t do. Once we get what you’re doing that will never work. And if you ride in the one up your grandiosity, then we move into trauma work. What set you up to do that? And then we teach you skills. It’s all three. IFS doesn’t teach skills. By the way, a lot of trauma people think you remove the trauma. You don’t need to teach skill and wishful thinking. Anyway, so first we confront what you’re doing, then we go back to your childhood roots and where it came from and help you with that. And then we teach you new skills to replace it with. Why should you come down from your rage and dominance and control? Why? Well, how’s it working for you?

I talked about poisoned privilege, and let me say this, and this is particularly true for men. God in her wisdom has given me access to the dream. The real American dream is that if you have money and fame, it will transmute you. You’ll become a demigod and you’ll be happy. I treat those people, they’re not happy and they’ve done well in the world, but they’re not happy between their ears and they’re miserable to live with. Some so-called expert got on his television and talked about aspirational masculinity and Elon Musk. Yeah, go to the moon. Great. Be the richest man in the world. Great. You want to be married to that guy? You want to be that guy’s kid? Good luck. All of the people I treat are incredible successes in the world and a mess inside. Why? The first thing I teach is the difference between gratification and what I call relational joy.

Gratification is pleasure, short-term pleasure. You make a million bucks, great. Pretty girl flirts with you, great. I like pleasure in its place. Relational joy, which many of the people, the grandiose people in particular, I have no idea what I’m talking about. Relational joy is the deeper down pleasure of just being there and being connected. And many of the grandiose people I work with simply don’t know what relational joy is. They’ve lived their whole life for gratification and it’s empty and they feel the emptiness and the people they live with are fed up with them and they certainly feel that. So while what I have to offer is relational joy. That’s the ace in my pocket because that’s what we’re born for. That’s the only thing that will make you happy. Let me teach you to come down off your perch and enter into being a human being like the rest of us. And let me teach you to really look at what you’ve been doing. Can I tell you a story?

Tim Ferriss: Yes. Always.

Terry Real: A guy came in and he was “depressed.” Another one of these guys with five therapists under his belt. Nobody’s been able to help him. And he’s on the brink of divorce and I listened to him and I go, “I can’t help you with your depression, but I can save your marriage.” Okay. This is a guy, he’d literally go to work, come home, flop on the couch, his wife would be running around, they’d all have dinner, she’d do the homework with the kids, she put them to bed, then he slump off to bed and go to sleep. Get up the next day, go to work, and she’s ready to divorce him.

I say, “You have a very mysterious depression. It goes into remission at 8:45 and it comes roaring back at 5: 15. When you’re at work, you manage to function. When you’re at home, you’re on the couch. A million people have tried to help you with your depression. I’m not going to try. You’re depressed. Sorry, been there. Here’s what I want to tell you, read it through. Here’s what I want to tell you.” Says, “What?”

“Get off the couch. Go do homework with your kids. Go help your wife with your dishes. You manage to pull yourself out of yourself from nine to five. You give yourself a pass when you get home, you’re going to wind up divorced and you’re going to do great damage to your children.” And he looks at his wife and he says, “I realize I’ve really abandoned you in this family and I made excuses for myself all these years.” And he starts to cry. That’s remorse, that’s open heartedness. I say, “He’s come out of the coldness of outer space into the what? Connection, true remorse.” “Oh, my God, I see what I’ve been doing to you, I’m so sorry.” And I looked at him and I say to them I say to so many people in that moment, I say to them, “Welcome to the planet Earth. Welcome to the human race. It’s been really lonely up there, hasn’t it?”

Tim Ferriss: Well Terry, you have a lot of resources and a lot of books. Who should start where? In other words, do you suggest people start with any particular book or resource? If they have a particular challenge or issue, where would you point them? How can we provide a road map for people who want to explore more of Terry Real?

Terry Real: Do the social media thing @RealTerryReal, that covers all the social media @RealTerryReal. Go to my website, terryreal.com. I’m pleased to say we have a lot of offerings now online for the general public, a course on self-esteem, course on healthy boundaries, courses on relationship skills. We have little mini courses, how to come back from infidelity. We have particular topic courses now that are followed up by online groups that you can join. So if you’re coming back from infidelity, here’s a three-hour workshop and here’s an ongoing group you can be part of. We’re doing more and more of that. In terms of books, I like Us, the new book, I like I Don’t Want To Talk About It, the old book, and I like Fierce Intimacy. I like all three of them.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, Fierce Intimacy is quite funny because I loved Fierce Intimacy and I wanted to find a Kindle edition to highlight. And could you explain why there isn’t one, at least as it stands right now.

Terry Real: There’s an audio Sounds True asked me to, you know, it’s one of those things. God was with me. I sat in a booth, no notes, and I just talked for three days. And that’s Fierce Intimacy.

Tim Ferriss: Yes. It’s insane for people who want to listen to it. There’s certain people maybe at that point the spirit was at your back. And similarly, I remember at one point I was using a meditation app design by Sam Harris and he had this interlude, which was this commentary, and it was five or 10 minutes long. And I said, “Could you please send me the text? Could you send me the Google Doc?” And he said, “What text?” I said, “What do you mean what text?” He goes, “I just got in the booth and riffed 10 minutes.” And I was like, okay, there are levels and then there are levels. So nicely done on Fierce Intimacy.

Terry Real: Thank you.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. Just a few more questions and everybody should go to terryreal.com. I’m sure that the socials are also available from terryreal.com. And we’ll link to everything we’ve discussed in the show notes. Outside of your own books, are there any books that you have gifted frequently to other people or re-read more than once yourself that come to mind?

Terry Real: I’m a big fan of Jim Gilligan’s book Violence. It’s not an easy read.

Tim Ferriss: What was the name of the book again?

Terry Real: Violence.

Tim Ferriss: Oh, Violence.

Terry Real: Yeah. Jim was the medical director of the Bridgewater Hospital for the criminally insane, and he worked with serial killers. He worked with, like, Hannibal the Cannibal, and he starts off as a young man taking this over and he says to himself, “If I can figure out the dynamics of these guys, I can figure out what violence is,” and he does in the book. So that’s been a great inspiration to me. I love Carol โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Why has that been an inspiration to you, Violence?

Terry Real: Because I deal with male violence. I deal with violence. Both Jim and I agree that violence is the shunting from the one down to the one up, from shame to grandiosity, from helplessness to attack. It took them 25 years to write that book and it shows. Not to drift, but when 9/11 happened, I wrote an op-ed piece that nobody published. In the piece I said, “This is the first time we’ve been hit on American soil. This is a national trauma unlike anything we faced before, and as a trauma expert, I know that you have two choices. You can tolerate the discomfort of sitting with the vulnerability and pain of that trauma and maybe asking some tough questions about why and what needs to happen or you can escape that discomfort by a flight into one up grandiosity, judgment, contempt and attack. And my hope for this country is we join together in the vulnerability rather than escape into attack.” Nobody published that. Two weeks later we were in Iraq.

So I like the book. I want people to resist the temptation of flying from discomfort into one up, superiority, contempt, judgment and attack on all sides. The left and the right. The left is not shy about moving into self-righteous indignation and contempt either. We talk about full respect living. I’ll put my body on the line and be on the streets, protesting your agenda and still hold you in regard as a human being. I don’t have to dehumanize you in order to fight you. Gandhi knew that, Martin Luther King knows that. That wisdom is being lost all over the globe right now. It needs to be rekindled.

Tim Ferriss: Any other books that come to mind besides Violence?

Terry Real: I like Raymond Chandler.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, Raymond Chandler’s amazing. Where would you have people start, or do you have a favorite?

Terry Real: I love lines. Belinda made my day by giving me a book called Great One-Liners from Noir. I like Noir. Well, The Big Sleep, I guess. There’s a great line when Humphrey Bogart meets Lauren Bacall playing Sam Spade. She says, “Oh, I see you met my little sister.” He said, “Yeah, she tried to sit on my lap. I was [standing] up at the time.” Now that’s writing.

Tim Ferriss: All right, so speaking of one-liners, just a few more questions and then we will wind to a close. If you had a billboard, metaphorically speaking, just to get a message, a line, a quote, a question, anything like that, to many, many millions of people, what might you put on that billboard?

Terry Real: Have the courage to move beyond the defaults you were handed, and do it with help.

Tim Ferriss: Hear, hear. Terry, thank you for taking the time today. It’s so nice to see you again. I really appreciate you carving out the time, being flexible on start time and covering so much ground as well.

Terry Real: You’re a wonderful interviewer, Tim, and I am sure you’re going to edit this out, but if I dare say, even the little I know you, I’ve grown fond of you. I’m rooting for you, so what a service you’re offering and thank you for having me on.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, absolutely. Thank you, Terry. And to everybody listening, we will have links to everything in the show notes as per usual at tim.blog/podcast. Just search Terry or Terry Real and it’ll pop right up. And until next time, as always, be a bit kinder than is necessary to others, but also to yourself. Don’t forget the last piece, and thanks for tuning in.

Terry Real โ€” The Therapist Who Breaks All The Rules (#810)

“A boy’s question of the world is ‘What do you got for me?’ A man’s question of the world is ‘What’s needed here?'”
โ€” Terry Real

Terry Real is a nationally recognized family therapist, author, and teacher. He is known for his groundbreaking work on men and male psychology as well as his work on gender and couples.

His book I Don’t Want To Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the first book ever written on the topic of male depression, is a national bestseller. His new book, Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship is a New York Times bestseller.

Terryโ€™s Relational Life Institute offers training for therapists and workshops for couples and individuals.

Please enjoy!

Listen to the episode onย Apple Podcasts,ย Spotify,ย Overcast,ย Podcast Addict,ย Pocket Casts,ย Castbox,ย YouTube Music,ย Amazon Music,ย Audible, or on your favorite podcast platform. Watch the interview on YouTube. The transcript of this episodeย can be found here. Transcripts of all episodesย can be found here.

This episode is brought to you by Cresset prestigious family office for CEOs, founders, and entrepreneurs; Ramp easy-to-use corporate cards, bill payments, accounting, and more; and Wealthfront high-yield cash account.

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This episode is brought to you by Wealthfront! Wealthfront is a financial services platform that offers services to help you save and invest your money. Right now, you can earn 4.00% APYโ€”thatโ€™s the Annual Percentage Yieldโ€”with the Wealthfront Brokerage Cash Accoount. Thatโ€™s nearly 10x more interest than if you left your money in a savings account at the average bank, with savings rates at 0.42%, according to FDIC.gov, as of 05/19/2025. It takes just a few minutes to sign up, and then youโ€™ll immediately start earning 4.00% APY from program  banks on your uninvested cash. And when new clients open an account today, theyโ€™ll get an extra $50 bonus with a deposit of $500 or more. Terms and Conditions apply.  Visit Wealthfront.com/Tim to get started.

Cash Account offered by Wealthfront Brokerage LLC, member FINRA/SIPC. Wealthfront is not a bank. The APY on cash deposits as of 04/30/2025, is representative, subject to change, and requires no minimum. Funds in the Cash Account are swept to programย banks, where they earn a variable APY. Tim receives cash compensation from Wealthfront Brokerage for advertising and holds a non-controlling equity interest in the corporate parent of Wealthfront Brokerage. Tim and Wealthfront Brokerage have no other affiliation. Tim reflects his own opinions and Wealthfront does not endorse, sponsor, or promote them.ย See full disclosuresย here.


This episode is brought to you by Cresset Family Office! Listeners have heard me talk about โ€œmaking before you manageโ€ for years. And for meโ€”as a writer and entrepreneurโ€”I definitely gravitate toward making. So itโ€™s important that I find the right people who are great at managing. Thatโ€™s why I trust this episodeโ€™s sponsor, Cresset Family Office

Cresset is a prestigious family office for CEOs, founders, and entrepreneurs. They handle the complex financial planning, uncertain tax strategies, timely exit planning, bill pay and wires, and all the other parts of wealth management that would otherwise pull me away from doing what I love most: making things, mastering skills, and spending time with the people I care about.ย  Experience the freedom of focusing on what matters to you with the support of a top wealth management team. Schedule a call today at cressetcapital.com/Tim to see how Cresset can help streamline your financial plans and grow your wealth.

Iโ€™m a client of Cresset. There are no material conflicts other than this paid testimonial. All investing involves risk, including loss of principal.


This episode is brought to you by Ramp!ย Ramp is corporate card- and spend-management software designed to help you save timeย andย put money back in your pocket. Ramp has already saved more than 25,000 customersโ€”including other podcast sponsors like Shopify and Eight Sleepโ€”more than 10 million hours and more than $1 billionย through better financial management of their corporate spending.

With Ramp, youโ€™re able to issue cards to every employee with limits and restrictions and automate expense reporting, allowing you to close your books 8x faster on average. Your employees will no longer need to spend hours submitting expense reports. In less than 15 minutes, you can get started issuing virtual and physical cards and making payments, whether you have 5 employees or 5,000. Businesses that use Ramp save an average of 5% on total card spending and related expenses in the first year. And now, you can get $250 when you join Ramp. Just go to ramp.com/Tim.


Want to hear five chapters from the audiobook Fierce Intimacy by Terry Real? Listen hereโ€”it will help you identify both your and your partner’s losing strategies in relationships and help you move from disharmony to repair.


What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

Continue reading “Terry Real โ€” The Therapist Who Breaks All The Rules (#810)”

“What might this look like if it were easy?” โ€” A Conversation at Harvard Business School

Harvardย Business School (HBS) reached out last year to create a case study on my entrepreneurial journey, which tracks me from childhood to the current day. The case study, titled “Tim Ferriss: What Might This Look Like If It Were Easy?” is roughly 40 pages, andย you can buy it for $11.95 here.ย I donโ€™t earn a penny. The whole experience culminated in two classes at HBS inย Professor Satchuโ€™s โ€œFounder Mindsetโ€ course.

Following one of the classes, student Jay Bhandari interviewed me for the “Between Two Classes” series at The Harbus, a publication by Harvard Business School students, who kindly gave permission to share it with you here.

I hope you find something below useful.

In a Q&A with your fans, you talked about the value of identity diversification. This approach is antithetical to advice we often get to commit and focus on a domain. How do you reconcile those two competing philosophies?

I think they complement each other rather than compete. Identity diversification simply means cultivating multiple, independent areas of growth in your life where you can chart progress. This is engineered so that your self-worth isnโ€™t entirely dependent on one thing, such as the regular ups and downs of your own startup. Being overinvested gets a lot of media play and X threads, but thereโ€™s a nasty survivorship bias at work. Iโ€™ve seen dozens of founders implode because their โ€œstartup as self-worthโ€ metrics went sideways for a few months. I prefer an approach with more margin of safety, and itโ€™s entirely compatible with domain mastery. For instance, you could very well spend 40 to 80 hours per week on your startup, but if you supplement that with indoor rock climbing, weight training, chess club, or something else that has its own metrics for growth, even if new regulations or a competitor tank your startup for a short stretch, you can still offset the blow with progress outside of the office. Itโ€™s cheap psychological insurance. I think of identity diversification as a huge competitive advantage in games that depend on endurance. At the highest levels, thatโ€™s pretty much everything. If Michael Jordan could afford to play copious amounts of golf and poker, you can afford to have side interests.

Is there anything about your life you wish you had focused on sooner? If you could spend time with 28-year-old you, what would you tell him?

To my younger self: meditate twice dailyโ€”10 minutes is plentyโ€”and get accelerated TMS as soon as itโ€™s ready for showtime. See my other answers for elaboration. Iโ€™d probably also share an embroidered quote I bought at a thrift shop in Marfa, Texas: โ€œToday is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.โ€

What do you think young ambitious people are over- and under-indexed on?

I think HBS students are over-indexed on buying the implicit investment banking and management consulting pitch of something like โ€œget broad exposure to industries and then you can pick your lane and do anything!โ€ If youโ€™re non-technical and stay in either of those for more than a few years, the odds of you leaving to start your own startup (outside of finance or consulting) is roughly the same as the likelihood of a five- to 10-year entrepreneur joining investment banking or consulting. In other words, low. Iโ€™ve seen this play out 100+ times. Sure, there are some exceptions, but I wouldnโ€™t bet on being one of them unless youโ€™ve committed to an exit plan before you enter those games. And if you want to be an edge case, find and study at least five to 10 edge cases you could emulate before you accept the job. If you canโ€™t find them, that tells you something.

Many in the HBS, Type-A crowd are no stranger to stress, anxiety, and depression. What are tips, mantras, and systems youโ€™ve developed for managing your mental health when youโ€™re actively in a dark place?

To be clear, Iโ€™m not a doctor and donโ€™t play one on the internet. The โ€œactively in a dark placeโ€ makes this a very dicey question. That said, having spent some time in dark places, especially in college, Iโ€™ll share a few things that Iโ€™ve seen work. Please do your own homework and speak with your medical professionals.

For acute suicidal ideation, I would call the 988 helpline first and potentially consider a series of ketamine infusions/injections per the protocols suggested by John Krystal, MD, professor of neuroscience at Yale University. Ketamine can be very addictive, and Iโ€™ve seen people unravel their lives with it, but in dangerous self-harm circumstances, it can be a life-saving intervention. It effectively pauses the incessant thought loops driving the desperation. For more of my thoughts on suicide, including my description of a close brush in 1999, read tim.blog/suicide.

If weโ€™re talking about general prevention and self-care, I would highly suggest daily cold exposure (e.g., I do 3โ€“5 minutes in a 40โ€“45ยฐ F bath daily) and short meditation sessions 2x/daily (e.g., Transcendental Meditation for 20 minutes twice a day or The Way App with Henry Shukman for two 10-minute sessions). I typically meditate immediately upon waking and then again before dinner or bed. This is less than 30 minutes a day. Do your pre-hab, and youโ€™ll need less rehab.

If you have a history of trauma, see tim.blog/trauma for a list of resources that I and designer Debbie Millman have found effective. Trigger warning: itโ€™s not a fun read, but it might be helpful for some. Your mileage may vary.

For treatment-resistant depression, I would consider accelerated TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation), ร  la the SAINT protocol co-developed by Dr. Nolan Williams at Stanford University. BrainsWay and MagVenture both make compelling devices with different approaches. I firmly believe TMS and other forms of brain stimulation can have near-immediate and durable effects that rival the effects of psychedelics in outcomes. I say that as someone whoโ€™s funded a lot of the science related to psychedelics since 2015 through my non-profit, Saisei Foundation.

Once legal, and assuming you have no family history of schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, psychosis, etc., I might suggest investigating various psychedelic-assisted therapies for depression (e.g., psilocybin) on a once-annual cadence, but there are more known risks than with brain stimulation like TMS. For instance, and Iโ€™ve seen this firsthand, combining ayahuasca and SSRIs increases the risk of serotonin syndrome, which can be life-threatening in severe cases. Regard any of these compounds with the same respect you would treat major neurosurgery. For more education on the science, applications, and possible mechanisms of action, I suggest the research of Dr. Gรผl Dolen and Dr. Nolan Williams, as well as the Netflix miniseries based on Michael Pollanโ€™s book of the same name, How to Change Your Mind. The MDMA and psilocybin/mushroom episodes are particularly strong.

Last but not least, donโ€™t ignore diet. Read up on โ€œmetabolic psychiatryโ€ and Dr. Chris Palmer, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. Ketosis and other interventions can produce nearly miraculous results for a number of psychiatric conditions, including those that are strongly contraindicated with psychedelics, like schizophrenia.

If you were starting over today in 2025 and were in your late twenties, what would you be doing?

I would be looking for fast-growing industries that are unsexy and under the radar, and Iโ€™d aim to join a startup of fewer than 100 people, where Iโ€™d be able to watch deal-makers making deals and making decisions. In contrast, if youโ€™re trying to create an AI startup like everyone else, itโ€™s going to be a crabs in a bucket scenario for 99% of the people involved. Sure, you might be the super crab 1%, but I generally prefer less crowded spaces, where you can typically get more regular interaction with the A+ players.

Letโ€™s take luck out of the picture. What skills, habits, mantras, or areas of personal growth would you most attribute your success to?

Playing the long game and not being in a rush. I choose projects and a lot of investments based on the learning, skill development, and relationships that will transcend them. If you allow such things to snowball over time, eventually the critical mass makes success almost inevitable. This might sound hand-wavy, but you can approach it systematically. Go to tim.blog/mba or Google โ€œTim Ferriss real-world MBAโ€ for some angel-investing examples of how Iโ€™ve applied this. This isnโ€™t the only approach Iโ€™ve seen work for โ€œsuccessโ€ (dangerous word, that!), but it seems replicable.

If you could put a message on a billboard that reaches HBS students, what would it be?

I would borrow from Dr. BJ Miller, a hospice physician whoโ€™s helped thousands of people to navigate death, whose answer was โ€œDonโ€™t believe everything that you think.โ€


Reprinted with permission from The Harbus News Corporation. All rights reserved.     

The 4-Hour Workweek Tools That Still Work โ€” The Art of Refusal and The Low-Information Diet (#809)

This time around, we have a bit of a different format, featuring the book that started it all for me, The 4-Hour Workweek. Readers and listeners often ask me what I would change or update, but an equally interesting question is: what wouldnโ€™t I change? What stands the test of time and hasnโ€™t lost any potency? This episode features two of the most important chapters from the audiobook of The 4-Hour Workweek. The chapters push you to defend your scarce attentionโ€”one by saying no to people, the other by saying no to excess information.

The chapter is narrated by the great voice actor Ray Porter. If you are interested in checking out the rest of the audiobook, which is produced and copyrighted by Blackstone Publishing, you can find it on AudibleAppleGoogleSpotifyDownpour.com, or wherever you find your favorite audiobooks.

Please enjoy!

Listen to the episode onย Apple Podcasts,ย Spotify,ย Overcast,ย Podcast Addict,ย Pocket Casts,ย Castbox,ย YouTube Music,ย Amazon Music,ย Audible, or on your favorite podcast platform.

This episode is brought to you by David Protein Bars, with 28g of protein, 150 calories, and 0g of sugar; Our Place’s Titanium Always Panยฎ Pro, using nonstick technology thatโ€™s coating-free and made without PFAS, otherwise known as โ€œForever Chemicalsโ€; and AG1 all-in-one nutritional supplement.

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This episode is brought to you by David Protein Bars! Iโ€™m always on the hunt for protein sources that donโ€™t require sacrifices in taste or nutrition. Thatโ€™s why I love the protein bars from this episode’s sponsor, David.ย With David protein bars, you get the fewest calories for the most protein, ever. David has 28g of protein, 150 calories, and 0g of sugar. I was first introduced to David by my friend Peter Attia, MD, who is their Chief Science Officer. Many of you know of Peter, and he does his due diligence. And David tastes great. Their bars come in six delicious flavors, all worth trying, and Iโ€™ll often throw them in my bag for protein on the go. And now, listeners of The Tim Ferriss Show who buy four boxes get a fifth box for free. Try them for yourself at DavidProtein.com/Tim.


This episode is brought to you by Our Place’s Titanium Always Panยฎ Pro! Many nonstick pans can release harmful โ€œforever chemicalsโ€โ€”PFASโ€”into your food, your home, and, ultimately, your body. Teflon is a prime exampleโ€”it is *the* forever chemical that most companies are still using. Exposure to PFAS has been linked to major health issues like gut microbiome disruption, testosterone dysregulation, and more, which have been correlated to chronic disease in the long term. This is why I use the Titanium Always Pan Pro from todayโ€™s sponsor, Our Place.ย  Itโ€™s the first nonstick pan with zero coating. This means zero โ€œforever chemicalsโ€ and a durability that will last a lifetime. Thatโ€™s rightโ€”no degradation over time like traditional nonstick pans.

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This episode is brought to you byย AG1!ย I get asked all the time, โ€œIf you could use only one supplement, what would it be?โ€ My answer is usuallyย AG1, my all-in-one nutritional insurance. I recommended it inย The 4-Hour Bodyย in 2010 and did not get paid to do so. I do my best with nutrient-dense meals, of course, butย AG1ย further covers my bases with vitamins, minerals, and whole-food-sourced micronutrients that support gut health and the immune system.ย 

I have always admired AG1โ€™s commitment to improving one product over many years, which is why I am excited about their latest upgrade:ย AG1 Next Gen. Itโ€™s the sameโ€”but improvedโ€”single-scoop, once-a-day product to support your mental clarity, immune health, and energy.ย Right now, youโ€™ll get a 1-year supply of Vitamin D free with your first subscription purchaseโ€”a vital nutrient for a strong immune system and strong bones.ย Visitย DrinkAG1.com/Timย to claim this special offer today and receive your 1-year supply of Vitamin D (and 5 free AG1 travel packs) with your first subscription purchase!ย Thatโ€™s up to a one-year supply of Vitamin D as added value when you try their delicious and comprehensive daily, foundational nutrition supplement that supports whole-body health.


Want to hear another episode that features content straight from The 4-Hour Workweek? Listen here for the chapter preceding this one that includes tools and frameworks that I use to this day, including Paretoโ€™s Law and Parkinsonโ€™s Law.


What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

Continue reading “The 4-Hour Workweek Tools That Still Work โ€” The Art of Refusal and The Low-Information Diet (#809)”

The Tim Ferriss Show Transcripts: Stephen West โ€” From High School Dropout to Hit Podcast, and from Stocking Groceries to Reading Philosophy for a Living (#808)

Please enjoy this transcript of my interview with Stephen West (@iamstephenwest), father, husband, and host of the Philosophize This! podcast. He attempts to explain, translate, and humanize philosophy in a way that doesnโ€™t ever aim to tell people what to think but to invite them to better understand their own thoughts by exploring alternatives.

Transcripts may contain a few typos. With many episodes lasting 2+ hours, it can be difficult to catch minor errors. Enjoy!

Listen to the episode on Apple PodcastsSpotifyOvercastPodcast AddictPocket CastsCastboxYouTube MusicAmazon MusicAudible, or on your favorite podcast platform. Watch the episode on YouTube.

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DUE TO SOME HEADACHES IN THE PAST, PLEASE NOTE LEGAL CONDITIONS:

Tim Ferriss owns the copyright in and to all content in and transcripts of The Tim Ferriss Show podcast, with all rights reserved, as well as his right of publicity.

WHAT YOUโ€™RE WELCOME TO DO: You are welcome to share the below transcript (up to 500 words but not more) in media articles (e.g., The New York Times, LA Times, The Guardian), on your personal website, in a non-commercial article or blog post (e.g., Medium), and/or on a personal social media account for non-commercial purposes, provided that you include attribution to โ€œThe Tim Ferriss Showโ€ and link back to the tim.blog/podcast URL. For the sake of clarity, media outlets with advertising models are permitted to use excerpts from the transcript per the above.

WHAT IS NOT ALLOWED: No one is authorized to copy any portion of the podcast content or use Tim Ferrissโ€™ name, image or likeness for any commercial purpose or use, including without limitation inclusion in any books, e-books, book summaries or synopses, or on a commercial website or social media site (e.g., Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.) that offers or promotes your or anotherโ€™s products or services. For the sake of clarity, media outlets are permitted to use photos of Tim Ferriss from the media room on tim.blog or (obviously) license photos of Tim Ferriss from Getty Images, etc.


Tim Ferriss: Stephen, I’m so happy that you’re here in Austin, Texas. Welcome.

Stephen West: Thank you. I made it. I’m here.

Tim Ferriss: You made it. And I want to give a thank you up front to a friend of mine. I think you’ve had some virtual interaction with him. Dave Elitch.

Stephen West: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Professional drummer, all around mensch. Amazing human. And he sent me an article I’m going to quote from very shortly, which was in a sense, a revisiting of you, and not so much your story, but your thinking for me, because I started listening to your podcast ages ago. And our dear videographer, who is helping with everything behind the scenes, listens to Philosophize This. My producer listens to Philosophize This, and in my little world, it is very well represented.

Stephen West: Wow.

Tim Ferriss: Okay.

Stephen West: Thank you.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, absolutely. And it’s an amazing contribution, incredible craft that you’ve honed. But as promised, I wanted to quote from a piece that was sent to me by Dave Elitch. This was in The Atlantic, written by Thomas Chatterton Williams. Great name. And here’s the line or two that I will share. 11 years ago, Stephen West was stocking groceries at a Safeway warehouse in Seattle. He was 24 and had been working to support himself since dropping out of high school at 16. Okay. We’re going to start there. And actually we’re going to rewind the clock even further. Could you just share a bit about your childhood, how you grew up, anything that comes to mind?

Stephen West: Sure. Yeah. I mean, clearly something went wrong along the way if I ended up dropping out of high school at 16. By the way, great writing from Thomas Chatterton Williams, by the way.

Tim Ferriss: Incredible.

Stephen West: Dense writing there. It’s like Hemingway. Anyway, yeah, I mean, my parents had their own issues as people’s parents do. Everybody grows up with their own stuff.

Tim Ferriss: Where were you born?

Stephen West: San Diego. San Diego. And then I moved to Alabama, actually, North Carolina. My dad was in the military when I was very young. So yeah, I went to North Carolina, then Alabama for a while, and then we went back to California. And then, yeah, I was taken by CPS off the streets when I was nine for the first time.

Tim Ferriss: Child Protective Services.

Stephen West: Yeah. We hadn’t had an apartment in a few months, and they just thought it was best. And so yeah, I then went to group homes and I was placed with family members at first, and then they also had pretty toxic relationships. Apparently that’s how it works. My parents come from messed up situations, so when I then get replaced with one of these people, apparently they also have messed up situations. But anyway, taken by CPS again, separated from my big sister early, long-term foster placement when I was 14 up in Washington, which is where I live now, and I haven’t moved since. 

But yeah, when I was 16, I didn’t have any place to stay. There was a long-term foster placement, like I said, and they did me a solid. They said, “Look, in the state of Washington, you don’t have to report somebody as a missing person if they’re over the age of 16. So what we can do for you is, if you just were to run away, because this obviously isn’t working in this whole circumstance, we won’t report you as a missing person.” That was the best offer I’d ever gotten at that point. So I took it. I lived in my friend’s car for a bit. I got an apartment with a person that I was working with at the time. I wasn’t old enough to sign a lease, so I had to just sort of be on an honor system with him. And eventually I moved in with my girlfriend at the time. Anyway, it was a โ€” people make due, and so yeah.

Tim Ferriss: What did your day-to-day, week to week look like at that point?

Stephen West: I worked a lot. That’s why I had to drop out of schools is because I had to work full time to pay my bills. If I had no place to stay, I needed to get a place to stay, and so I made money. And so I worked at Safeway as a bagger for groceries. And then eventually I got promoted to helper clerk, which is like, you stock shelves and you refill stuff, get stuff for customers. So that was the biggest accomplishment of my life at the time.

Tim Ferriss: And when did you get that promotion? What age were you roughly?

Stephen West: 16.

Tim Ferriss: 16?

Stephen West: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Okay. Got it. And then did you continue working at Safeway? How long did you continue working at Safeway?

Stephen West: Until I was about 17 and a half. And then, well, actually, I worked at Safeway and I wasn’t making enough money at Safeway making seven, whatever an hour it was. So I worked at Jo-Ann Fabrics, which actually was next door.

There was a Safeway and a Jo-Ann next door. I mean, this is a grandma’s wet dream, and I would just wound the yellow yarn every morning at 4:00 a.m. like stock stuff there. That was literally my life for a while is just I would show up to Jo-Ann at 4:00 a.m. work from 4:30 to 12:30, and then I’d work the night shift at Safeway. Well, not night, but the last helper clerk shift from 3:30 to nine or whatever it was. That was not fun. 

So yeah, eventually I didn’t want to do that anymore. I thought instead of having two jobs, I will just get one job where I make $14 an hour at the warehouse, and I’ll use whatever good reputation I’ve accumulated here thus far. And my manager was cool with it, and I transferred over there at 17 and a half.

Tim Ferriss: So, dumb question. I’m somewhat of a specialist in those. Why does the warehouse pay more than the other roles you had?

Stephen West: It’s harder. It’s harder work. You show up every day, your back hurts at the end of the day. You don’t want to come back the next day. Look โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: That’s why they pay you.

Stephen West: The thing that made me want to start a podcast is looking at the old dudes that were working in the office, and they would walk out to their car just like their backs had been fused together by multiple spinal surgeries. It’s just walking on that hard concrete and lifting 50 pound boxes on a pallet all day long. It’s repetitive labor, and it’s brutal. Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. I challenge anyone listening if they have never done it, just go stand on concrete for a few hours. It is excruciating.

Stephen West: You need good shoes.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, yeah, it is. And people are like, oh, no. Well, I walk on the streets. No, not the same. Asphalt’s different. It’s like a trampoline compared to concrete. What were the best aspects and the worst aspects? I think you covered some of the worst of that warehousing job.

Stephen West: You are so wise for asking that question because you know when you get older, you look back and you notice things that you didn’t notice at the time. The best aspect of it, I miss it sometimes. Talking to the guys in the warehouse, there are a lot of really good guys there, and I don’t have that social element to the podcast. The other thing is, I got to listen to audiobooks all day long. I mean, what other job could I have gotten? I didn’t even know I was stumbling into something that would open up so many possibilities for me at the time. It felt like I was just a day laborer, just horrible. But yeah, I got to listen to philosophy books all day long and talk radio. I got to listen to โ€” 

I mean, Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew and Howard Stern, just listening to these people just paint pictures with their words. It was beautiful. Yeah, I mean, if I worked at an office or if I worked at a fast-food place, I easily could have ended up in any of those spots. If I did, I wouldn’t have been able to read books 10 hours a day. That was, in retrospect, an amazing thing about the job. Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: So for people listening, they may think to themselves, I wouldn’t immediately, if I were in your position, find philosophy. It could have been, not to devalue any of these things, but it could have been Hunger Games, could have been any of a million genres, any of a million authors. How did you end up listening to philosophy, or how did philosophy even enter your life in the first place?

Stephen West: I kind of looked into that one too. I was a dumb 17, 16-year-old kid, right on that cusp. But I knew, I was self-aware enough to know that I had had trauma from the messed up childhood that we just talked about. I didn’t want to just spend my whole life taking that out on the people around me. So I knew that I needed mentors, and I wasn’t in school. I didn’t have people to look up to really, and I wasn’t talking to my family. I literally googled “wisest person in the history of the world.” It was my best idea I could come up with at the time. And one of Plato’s dialogues, Gorgias, came up there and it talked about this guy Socrates. He’s harassing people in the Athenian Agora. He’s asking them questions, trying to find a wise man, and I just got hooked, man.

Tim Ferriss: What was it about it that hooked you? Were there any particular aspects that grabbed you? Because a lot of folks listening to this, no doubt, some of them took compulsory classes in school related to philosophy, and they were just like, please shoot me in the head now. In some cases, not all cases.

Stephen West: No, I don’t blame them.

Tim Ferriss: And it did not have that effect on you, at least with your self-directed exploration. What was it that appealed to you or hooked you?

Stephen West: It was voluntary. I mean, that’s a big part of it is I’m not being forced into doing it. This is why I don’t want to force my daughter, who’s eight, to think about stuff or ask her philosophical questions. I think the best way to get your kid to not do something is to tell them to do it. But yeah, aside from the voluntary nature of it, I think that I just have always been somebody that thinks my way out of problems. And so the idea that this is the discipline. If comedians go to a comedy club and it has this pure endeavor of trying to make people laugh, that’s what makes a comedian what they are. For philosophy, thinking about things like that, forming new conceptual tracings of reality, seeing it in a new way, I mean, of course I would be attracted to something like that, as somebody that always thinks my way out of problems. I mean, that’s the only service I can really provide to the people around me that matter to me.

Tim Ferriss: For the purposes of this conversation, how would you define or rebrand philosophy for people who have an immediate, semi-allergic reaction? Because perhaps they’ve heard a bunch of ivory tower specialists speaking in riddles or speaking in logic/math puzzles that no one can make any sense of. How would you โ€” I shouldn’t say no one. Yes, there are like 17 people who probably make a lot of sense out of all of it. But how would you suggest people think about philosophy?

Stephen West: Yeah, I mean, those guys, I used to dislike those people. I thought that they were being too selfish. They’re making it all about them. I think they have really good intentions. I think it’s hard when you get to be a professor to know what it’s like to just be starting out. For me, I would say philosophy, a way that I’ve heard it described is it’s the disruption of common sense.

I mean, what is looking at the world at all? It’s an approximation. We are works in progress. I look at the world one way for a while, and everybody knows what it’s like to change the way that you see everything in the world. Yeah, I mean, I just think that philosophy is the method of doing that. The question is not whether you’re going to change the way that you think about things conceptually. The question is, how deliberate are you going to be about it? It’s like the gym for rethinking, retracing reality in a new way that opens up new possibilities to you. And it’s also something that needs to go on at the highest levels of conversation.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, it’s like recreation or kind of unfocused activity versus deliberate practice. To use your comedy example, I interviewed Jerry Seinfeld, actually, I was at this table and it was a few years ago. But the actual craft, the lifting of the weights, so to speak, the writing, the testing, how do you approach it in a systematic way, and how could you take something like that and then apply it to the love of knowledge or philosophy or reframing things, learning how to stress test your own thinking. When you were in the warehouse, you got 10 hours a day with headphones, were there any particular kind of formative inputs that influenced the path that would later land you in the podcast?

Stephen West: I was reading everything I could get my hands on, and, transparently, The 4-Hour Workweek was a huge book that allowed me to think about possibilities in my life in a new way. I mean, that’s why I think โ€” I get that it’s maybe weird to call it a work of philosophy, The 4-Hour Workweek, because it’s in the business section.

What I love from philosophy books, what they do to me, that book did for me in certain areas. You’re calling into question assumptions that we’re making about things like the “new rich,” what it is to be wealthy at all. Retirement. This is something that most people just assume is going to be at the end of their life. They don’t even really think about it any more than that. What was possible in terms of how to make money or how to automate certain aspects of your life. And you’re also talking about it in contrast to an emerging digital world that at the time was just coming about. New possibilities were presenting themselves in people’s lives that they weren’t necessarily aware of. And yeah, I mean, what philosopher is talking about these issues? So that book was beautiful for me to even think that it was possible to start a podcast. So for whatever it’s worth, thank you for that.

Tim Ferriss: Thanks, man.

Stephen West: I mean, I wouldn’t be here.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. So thank you for saying that. And also, what’s wild about the book is I revised it in 2009 and then realized this is an absolutely Sisyphean task to try to revise this because the tech is moving so fast. So everything in that book, from a technical perspective, is completely outdated. All of it. But it’s sort of the philosophical underpinnings, which I think still apply.

Stephen West: Yeah. When you wrote it, did you intend for it to inspire people like me to โ€” I mean, were you thinking about it philosophically, or were you thinking about it? I have all this knowledge and I’m going to trade it for $13 or whatever the book’s price was?

Tim Ferriss: I would say it was more the former. I mean, at that point, I had โ€” let’s see. Had these experiences with my first real business. I had had the corresponding implosion slash personal and professional meltdown, and then the Rebirth from the Ashes, but figuring out the technological approaches and so on. However, when I first was automating my business and traveling, I want to say mid-2004, there were only a few books I took with me. If I’m remembering correctly. I think there were actually three. I think in some places I’ve mentioned two of them, Walden, very aspirational at the time, although the backstory on Walden‘s pretty funny with Thoreau sneaking off to have fancy dinners with Emerson or whatever. But let’s just take it for what it’s worth. Okay, Walden. Then Vagabonding by Rolf Potts, which had a huge impact on me. An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel, I think it is, which is also a very deeply philosophical book, fundamentally. And then the third was the expose, technically The Moral Letters to Lucilius, but Letters from a Stoic. Seneca.

Stephen West: Seneca.

Tim Ferriss: And what I realized over the following year or so, which was well before writing the book, well before selling the book, the tools are secondary to the sort of assumptions based on how you’re going to use them, what you can do with them versus what you can’t do with them and the objectives. And when you come down to those, let’s just say base levels of the pyramid, it turns into a philosophical discussion, whether you use that word or not. It’s a mode of thinking. And how do you cross examine your own thinking?

Stephen West: I think philosophy has a tendency of living in the shadow of the thing we actually give credit to for the thing. And that goes on personally in our lives. I mean, it would be very easy for me to just call what I did with the podcast, a matter of hard work and a matter of circumstance and content strategy or a knowledge thing that I’m doing. But really, it was a philosophical shift that made it possible to even think about. You mentioned Walden, and I mean another one of the transcendentalists, Ralph Waldo Emerson is a person that had a huge impact on me at this time as well. In fact, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him either.

I used to think something that he talks about in “Self-Reliance” and other essays, that to have a podcast or a YouTube channel or whatever it was, you needed to be a genius. It’s kind of a myth that I think gets promoted is if you’re not a genius, you have nothing really that interesting to say. So who’s ever going to follow you? And that stuff. He was living during a time, right around the abolition of slavery. So in the United States, it’s a crucial time. A lot of changes are going on. There’s also an Irish immigrant crisis going on at the time, and he wants to inspire people with his work to take action, to think for themselves, to be the catalyst for change in the world, if that’s something that they want.

The way to apply what he’s talking about to a YouTube channel is, I mean, look at these YouTube creators. Are they geniuses? Are these people unparalleled geniuses, thinkers of our time? No. They’re people that have a certain message that they’re sending, and that message corresponds to something that already exists in culture. You don’t need to be a genius. You just need to be saying something that resonates with other people. That was huge for me to notice. That you can just be a catalyst for a sentiment that already exists in the hearts of people, and then you become the thing that they connect to. They start to see you as symbolic of that. So really, he made me change my thinking. To write and to say something worth saying is not to be a genius, to be brave. It’s to be the one to say it, and to have courage.

Really, that’s probably a primary factor that determines whether one of these YouTube creators is successful or has a channel or not, it’s just they were the ones to say it. They had the courage to say it and risk all the bad that might come from that.

Tim Ferriss: For folks, where would you suggest people start with Emerson if they haven’t read his writing?

Stephen West: It’s been a while since I’ve jumped in. I’d say “Self-Reliance” and “On Nature” are the two that you absolutely have to read. But if you like what he’s saying in those two, I would definitely go to secondary sources and just read every essay that he ever wrote. He actually didn’t write that much. He was a guy that was kind of preoccupied with other things.

Tim Ferriss: So when did you switch gears and do something other than the warehouse job? Or did you do something concurrent and then sort of fade something in while you’re fading something out? What did the next chapter look like?

Stephen West: I wanted to start the podcast. I mean, I didn’t know if it was possible. I certainly didn’t have a dream of doing it as a living where it could provide for my family. At the time, I was much younger, so I had less responsibilities. I did some math. I realized I needed to make 800 bucks a month to be able to do it. And there’s this guy, Scott, I was playing guitar with at the time, and he inspired me here too. He worked at Duke’s Chowder House. It’s like a seafood place up in Seattle. He was a server, and his mom would give him crap all the time, “Why don’t you get a real job?” He’d just play guitar all day and then go serving at Duke’s Chowder House. 

And I would talk to him about it, and he’s like, “Look, I don’t want to be a rock star. I don’t want to be a millionaire doing this. All I want to do is be able to play a few gigs on the weekend or some studio sessions or something, and then I’m playing guitar for a living. I am literally living the dream if I can do that. And Duke’s Chowder House is just how I pacify my mom. I just pay her some rent.” 

For me, it was like I needed to find a way to make 800 bucks with the podcast. That could satisfy whatever obligations I had at the home, my half of the rent and utilities at the time. And so yeah, at the warehouse, they had this thing weekends only.

Instead of working seven days a week on call, which was the norm, I never had a scheduled day off my entire time working there. I would just work on the weekends. It would be a guaranteed thing I’d come in. And the reason they would do it that way is because they don’t have to pay a benefits package at that point. It benefits the company at some level, but for me, it was perfect. Then I could work five days a week, and if I could find a way to make 800 bucks a month just doing the podcast and writing on the side and stuff like that, I’d just go in on the weekends, eight hours. That was my version of phasing in the podcast and phasing out the warehousing. Another thing I’m very fortunate to have.

Tim Ferriss: So let’s take a closer look at that because I’m so interested in the catalyzing periods. What happened in the span of a few weeks where you thought, “Maybe I could do this, but aren’t those people geniuses?” to, “Okay, I’m actually going to do weekends only and take that, which is a non-trivial step. What did that look like? Was there a particular conversation? Was there a particular week of just gobbling Advil because your back was bothering you? How did it go from, “Maybe kind of in some universe that may be possible, but I have to be a genius,” to, “All right, I’m going to work two days a week.”

Stephen West: It was two things. I mean, on one hand, I’d been working there for years, so my back hurt every single day. It was utter desperation on one level. I hated my life there. Now again, I look back now being in my thirties, and I don’t think I had any reason to hate what I had going on there, but I did at the time. Honestly, that was my experience. And so I was very desperate to try to make anything work. There was a guy named Jimmy Whisenhunt, like a shoutcaster for eSports at the time, but he was my friend.

Tim Ferriss: What is a shoutcaster?

Stephen West: Shoutcaster is like a person that does commentary, like John Madden does commentary for football. This guy does it for Counter-Strike and StarCraft and stuff like that.

Tim Ferriss: Okay, cool.

Stephen West: Yeah. Anyway, I was talking to him at the time and he was just like, look, man, he pulled me aside. And he was like, “It would honestly be a shame if you didn’t at least try something in media. You should just try it, and even if you fail, whatever.” But I’m here to tell you that dude had such an impact on me.

Tim Ferriss: How did you know each other?

Stephen West: I used to play games around this time too. I would play StarCraft II with friends, and I was playing at a pretty high level, so I knew people that were in the business.

Tim Ferriss: In that world.

Stephen West: He was in their circles and stuff, and we just kind of vibed. That’s all.

Tim Ferriss: Nice. Okay. So he’s telling you it would just be a shame if you never tried. You’ve got to try something.

Stephen West: Yeah, that hit me, man. I mean, for a person that’s competitive and then a person that just is already hating my life at the warehouse at the time, yeah, it made me want to take a chance. And then the whole Emerson thing, I don’t even got to be a genius. I’ve just got to be brave enough to say it felt possible.

Tim Ferriss: And what did you look to? This was early days, right? I mean, when was this? Like 2012, 2013? Something along those lines.

Stephen West: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: So this is very early, and I mean, to put that in perspective, this podcast that we’re on right now started that in 2014. So you predated me in the world of podcasting and for people who drown in the paradox of choice problem presented by podcast currently, back then, it was a much smaller pond. Who did you look to for inspiration? In some ways, and it’s not exactly the same, the game is a little different. I say this is a huge compliment. You remind me in some ways of Dan Carlin and Hardcore History.

Stephen West: That’s the literal guy that I used to listen to at the warehouse all the time. It’s a huge compliment to hear.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Stephen West: Thank you.

Tim Ferriss: Okay. Yeah. So Dan, and for people who don’t know, I’ve interviewed Dan, you can look it up, A phenomenal human, but he’s not, he’ll be the first person to tell you, a professional historian. He doesn’t check all the boxes on the CV, and yet he makes it so compelling. And like you said, having the bravery to say what’s in the hearts of others. But fundamentally, the way I see it is you are sharing what is in your heart, Dan is sharing what is of interest to him. “Imagine, if you will, General Subutai looking down.” And that’s from Wrath of the Khans, If people want to watch โ€” 

Stephen West: A fantastic series.

Tim Ferriss: And I say “watch,” that’s an interesting slip because his language is so visually evocative. Okay. Dan Carlin, that makes a whole lot of sense. So was there anybody else who you’re like, ah, maybe I can take a little bit of that, a little bit of that? Because Dan Carlin also does mega series. His podcasts are long. I mean, Wrath of the Khans, I’m making this up, but it’s like four or five parts. Each one is like four to five hours.

Stephen West: Yeah, he’s fantastic. I mean, in terms of inspiration at the time, I remember consciously not wanting to copy other people. In fact, I was listening to a Dave Chappelle interview at the time, I think, and he was just talking about how it was Miles Davis or Dizzy Gillespie or something like that, just at the beginning of their career when they were playing trumpet, they just did an impression of another trumpet player. And you see this in a lot of industries where people will just be even subconsciously trying to do an impression of what they think success looks like. But I had read enough philosophy at that time to really not want to fall into that trap. I mean, I knew I was highly inspired by him, so I didn’t want to sound too much like him. I wanted to be able to develop my own style. If anything, it was a negative inspiration because I noticed there was a gap in the philosophy sort of market. I was a big fan of podcasts, so I would be listening to philosophy, just trying to find something to pass the time at work, right?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Stephen West: So I just noticed there were a lot of really smart, really talented people. Peter Adamson, History of Philosophy Without Any Gaps, The Partially Examined Life at the time was huge, and it’s like I just wanted to do something that was a little more humanizing, a little more translating, so that’s all I was thinking.

Tim Ferriss: Okay. And you commit to working two days a week. What else are you committing to? So now you have five days a week. What does the experimental or prototyping phase look like? Did you apply some constraints right up front? How did you approach that?

Stephen West: Luckily for me, it took off fairly quickly. So I spent a few months before just researching how to launch a podcast. I would just listen to podcasts about podcasting, I would read books about it. About blogging too, because there really wasn’t that much. There was this feeling at the time that, what’s the cliche? The radio is to the TV, the TV is to the phone or something like that. The phone, this narrow casting that is developing is going to be big, but there’s no playbook for how to actually do it. So yeah, I started researching just how to take advantage of the launch phase of a podcast. Nobody really knows what the algorithms are doing or why they’re doing it, but there’s theories and so I would just read every theory I possibly could. So yeah, that’s what I did. On the day that I launched the podcast, I got everybody that I know to listen to it and leave an honest review, and I tried to take advantage of all that I could there.

And so the first week, I was on the New and Noteworthy section on iTunes. It was a successful lunch. And then after that, the people I host the podcast with started reaching out and talking about ads. I didn’t really want to do ads at that point, but it started taking off pretty quickly, so there luckily wasn’t too much of a time period there.

Tim Ferriss: So if you had to, hindsight 20/20, look back and identify some of the other, say, critical decisions, whether you made them really consciously or not at the time, what were other things you did right with the launch of the podcast? Recognizing that launching then and launching now are quite different animals, but still, I think there are lessons to be learned.

Stephen West: I think I just made it as much me as I could. I leaned into that aspect of podcasting. What I loved about Dan Carlin is that it just felt like I was there and he was talking to me. I think a lot of people at the time saw podcasting as an afterthought. It was just the free content so you could drive people to funnels to then sell them the premium content or something. I saw it as a very open-ended medium that was beautiful, and it could be a three-hour conversation with people smoking weed, talking about nothing. It could be 10 minutes of highly focused โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: I can’t imagine who that is.

Stephen West: Yeah, me neither.

Tim Ferriss: Just kidding.

Stephen West: But it’s been highly successful, pretty successful.

Tim Ferriss: The most successful.

Stephen West: You could say. No, but it’s beautiful, the medium, how versatile it is, so that’s what I saw, and so I just wanted to be my own lane there. I didn’t want to be a part of podcasting. I wanted to just be a shop. There was an interview you did with Bill Burr back on the fear{less} series. He was talking about, “I don’t really see myself as part of comedy. I just do my thing, and I guess I’m a part of comedy. I set up a stand in the middle of a mall,” he was saying. That’s how I see it. I didn’t think about what a podcast was and try to appeal to that. I just tried to make it as authentic as I could, and I think that was one good thing that I did.

Tim Ferriss: All right. And in the beginning, my understanding is you approached it chronologically. Maybe you can explain, because there are a lot of different ways you could approach the canon of Western philosophy or any philosophy really. How long were the episodes when you started?

Stephen West: About 4,000 words long. I read slower back then, so it’s about 30 minutes or so. It would vary back then a bit, but yeah.

Tim Ferriss: And what were the first handful of episodes?

Stephen West: The Presocratics. The first episode, it’s so hard to even listen to it. I’ve had to go back recently and listen.

Tim Ferriss: I get it.

Stephen West: It’s just an artist’s dilemma. I’m not trying to talk down to anybody that enjoys those episodes still, but just from my perspective, you can imagine, it’s tough to watch yourself 12 years ago now doing it for the first time publicly. The first episode was literally, I just mentioned the Out of Africa theory and how, oh yeah, people had a lot of free time back then and they talked a lot. So talking leads to philosophy, and they settled around the Ionian coast and the Italian coast and this led to the Presocratics. Most of the episodes are me just telling stories from their life or something. It’s brutal but also beautiful in a way because it’s where it had to start.

Tim Ferriss: It’s sort of striking, not to overwield the comparisons here, but maybe the story of the Presocratics, as you just described, it’s like the origin of the podcast in the early episodes. You know what I mean?

Stephen West: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Figuring it out, finding the language. Try to develop a water feel for what this thing is, whatever this thing happens to be, whatever it will be.

Stephen West: For whatever it’s worth, people tell me that’s one of the endearing things that they like about it. They like seeing somebody build their craft over the years. It’s just my audition tape is on camera for everybody to see. That’s how I see it. That’s cool though, I’ll take it.

Tim Ferriss: All right. So at this point, how many episodes have you done?

Stephen West: 225.

Tim Ferriss: 225. All right. What’s the frequency?

Stephen West: About once every two weeks.

Tim Ferriss: Okay.

Stephen West: There was a period there where I was doing one a month and stuff like that, but now I’ve been working a lot more lately, so I’ve been really enjoying it.

Tim Ferriss: All right. So if we flash forward and we look at this craft you’ve developed, the life you’ve built, what does the Philosophize This! ecosystem look like? You have Patreon. What are the different pieces of the puzzle as it stands currently?

Stephen West: Do you mean from a monetization perspective?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, yeah, from a business perspective.

Stephen West: Yeah, I have Patreon, I have ads that I run now, and I have this book deal. So that’s going to be good for 2026, emerging into a different market there. It is centered around the podcast, so yeah, that’s the core.

Tim Ferriss: And you mentioned you initially weren’t planning on pursuing advertising. Around what episode did you start doing advertising?

Stephen West: I’m not sure. Around the episode that my son was coming into the world, and I prayed at an altar that people listening would be sympathetic to the fact that I’ve been doing it for so long with no ads and now I’m trying to โ€” I don’t know. You live longer on this planet, you don’t know when you’re going to die. I’m trying to leave something for my kids if I kick the bucket one day.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, totally. All right.

Stephen West: It’s been fairly recent though. To the thrust of your question, it’s, I don’t know, maybe episode 180 or something like that.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. Okay, so there we go. The reason that I was hoping, I didn’t know the answer but I was hoping for that โ€” I threw a very, “You were hoping,” on there. So the reason I was hoping that the answer would be something like that is that you were able to hone the craft for a while, for a pretty good long while before distracting yourself with the preoccupations or maybe the easier path, in my case. If I don’t want to write, what do I want to do? I want to talk about and think about and brainstorm marketing and these things because I find it much easier. But you, for a very good stretch of time, were able to focus on figuring it out, finding your footing, honing the craft. And for people who can make that work, I just want to say I recommend it very, very highly, to have that type of focus. It seems to make a lot of difference.

Stephen West: I’ve tried marketing things. One of the good things about podcasting is that people will reach out and they’ll want to support and they won’t want to support financially but they’ll support with their set, like professional marketers or whatever will come along and offer, and I’ve been doing it 12 years so I’ve done things like that. I am not an expert in this field and I just feel that when it comes to content, the content is the number one focus for me. If you do bad content, you may be able to market it amazingly and then that’ll be successful in some way. If you do amazing content that people don’t want to live without, you can’t keep it a secret. That’s why I focused on that for so long. I would never put something out that isn’t content that I hope people don’t want to live without.

Tim Ferriss: What are some of your most popular episodes to date? Do any stand out?

Stephen West: People really like the Dostoevsky series that I just did. 

Tim Ferriss: I’ll tell you what, I’m just taking notes because I’m putting together my own reading list, and we were talking about this before we started recording but I was trying to figure out, was Dave the first person who introduced me to Philosophize This!? It’s possible. Or did a post I put, apparently on Twitter, predate that, where I was listening to it โ€” I think in my car. It could have been in an Uber or something like that, but I took a photograph or a screenshot, and I do remember that really clearly. I think it was in my car. And for that reason, I’m putting together my to listen list and just using this question selfishly so I can take notes on โ€” 

Stephen West: Absolutely.

Tim Ferriss: On what I should grab. So Dostoevsky.

Stephen West: Yeah. So from about last October, there’s a new arc of the show that I’m doing that’s on religious phenomenology. It’s about the limitations of philosophy, it’s about phenomenology as a movement at the beginning of the 20th century and this bridge between philosophy and religion. Is religion just this superficial connection to a man-like God in the sky, or is a belief in God something much deeper than that and something much more embodied in a daily practice every day? It’s been really fascinating for me and people have been really liking it for whatever it’s worth, so if you’re looking for a place to start. But I’ll say this, if I’m ever recommending a place for people to start, I just ask them what they’re into. 

So what are you interested in?

Tim Ferriss: Well, let’s see. I’ll tell you, if I had a wish list, and maybe this is the episode that I tracked down of yours. I’m not sure. I, in my reading of Seneca, realized, and look, this is going to be a very sloppy, simplified way of looking at things, but I was like, okay, the Stoics seem really good at self-regulation on their good days, but they don’t seem great at, and it may be even antithetical to them to maximize joy on some level. And in The Moral Letters to Lucilius, Seneca the Younger keeps referencing Epicurus.

And there’s a whole backstory that’s pretty interesting as to why he was doing that. Was it a rhetorical device to be like, “Okay, okay, you guys like Epicureanism. Sure, I’ll give you that. Great guy. Look at this amazing thing he said. Now let me lead into my argument and what I want to tell you.” But my ability to track down writing for a number of reasons related to Epicureanism has been pretty limited, and so that would be on my wish list. I would say the Stoics are always good reminders, even though some people might feel like I just threw them under the bus, but I still remain an avid fan of Stoicism.

And then I would say, and this is not going to be very helpful perhaps, but I could turn this question around and maybe ask for your help in finding philosophical systems or philosophies, schools of philosophy that are imminently practical. Where it’s like, okay, this is something I’m going through. For instance, right now, a very challenging period with medical issues in my family. And as much as I enjoy getting into the rarefied air of deep conceptual philosophical discussions, I’m like, no, I am stressed the fuck out and having trouble sleeping and have anxious rumination. I would like some tools in addition to the ones I’m familiar with for delving into that. So that’s a bit of a meandering answer.

Stephen West: No, no, not at all. So sorry to hear about your family.

Tim Ferriss: Thanks.

Stephen West: So you’re talking about the Hellenistic age, basically. You’re talking about Epicureanism, you’re talking about Stoicism. So there’s two more there, Skepticism and Cynicism. Cynicism famously is the school of thought of Diogenes. So I think all four of these, it’s been said, represent some aspect of the character of Socrates just turned into its own system, so maybe to fill that out might be a really cool thing to do because then you’ll know the whole period, right? Practical stuff. Don’t you do meditation a lot?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I do. Right now, I’m meditating twice a day.

Stephen West: Okay. So is that practice framed in a utilitarian way for you? Is it like I’m doing it so that I can quell anxiety or is it more โ€” how do you think of it?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I would say there are a few different ways that I look at it. So, shameless plug, I’ll just mention it because it is so good. There’s an app called The Way, Henry Shukman is the teacher. It is Sanbo Zen focused. I was introduced to Henry, actually had him on the podcast, by Kevin Rose. Thank you, Kevin. And I would say that on one level, it is very utilitarian for me. If I use it to boot up in the morning, 10 minutes, that’s it, and I use it to wind down at night. If I have it as bookends on my day, I just find that my resting anxiety level is lower. So it’s very, very practical in that way, and the exercises in the meditations are not explicitly geared to deal with anxiety, but they’re more, I would say, training awareness of different types, and contracting and expanding awareness in ways that allow you to not be compulsively in the washing machine of your own thoughts.

You can step outside of the door of the washing machine and look at your thoughts, and then maybe you can step outside of the room and ask yourself, “What the hell am I doing in this room in the first place? Maybe I should go to a different room,” etc. etc. So there’s that. And then there are, I think deeper, I don’t want to say deeper, but other layers of payoff from the meditative practice that are not driven by that type of symptom addressing, if that makes sense.

Stephen West: No, for sure. So I think philosophy is wonderful obviously, but it’s not a panacea, and it’s certainly not something that I would recommend to everybody, and it’s not something that solves โ€” I just think that what you’re talking about about quelling anxiety, it’s a trap I think to try to think a philosopher or a philosophy is going to fix that. I think it’s more in a daily lived practice, like what you’re talking about, and that lies outside the bounds of philosophy. There’s a quote from a philosopher we were just doing an episode on where he said, “Religion without philosophy is blind, and philosophy without religion is vacuous.”

It’s like you can just make philosophy into an intellectual exercise but not be open to it in any way that really is transformative. So I can list you 10 different practical philosophers and their systems and stuff like that if you want to study them, but for me, philosophy is more a process. It’s a verb, it’s not a noun. Simon Blackburn, a famous philosopher, wrote a book called Think, and he describes philosophy as conceptual engineering. It’s a great metaphor.

If an engineer looks at a bridge and they know about the raw materials of the bridge and they know how they connect to other parts of the bridge and everything, if you can show an engineer one bridge, a particular bridge, and he’d be like, “Well, it holds weight over here, but if we put weight over on this side, it’s going to all start crumbling down.” Philosophers do this with world views. The philosopher is the engineer and the worldview is the bridge. Worldviews are made up of concepts that are linked together by assumptions is how I think about it.

A concept in philosophy, for whatever it’s worth, is just the way we chop up and make sense of reality. So a person is a concept, a tree is a concept, democracy is a concept, love maybe a concept. And so our worldviews are piecing these things together based on assumptions and philosophers are the people that are shaking up those rigid definitions that we have of these things and allowing us to see the world in a new way, and the systematized practice of doing that deliberately. So I do think for somebody that’s struggling emotionally, being able to be good at that skill of shaking up their static definitions of how things are in the world and seeing it in a new conceptual tracing, that is valuable to that person potentially. I just wouldn’t ever prescribe it as the way if you’re feeling bad about some real issue in your life with your family going through problems.

For me, it’s been really helpful, but I think it takes years to even get to the place where you can embody ideas without necessarily accepting them, where you can really entertain and be open to these things in a way that they can change you. So anyway, I would just say I think philosophy’s limited here.

Tim Ferriss: I think it’s limited, but for me, I would say I could think of it as necessary but not sufficient, if that makes sense. And you mentioned years, but I will give an example of something that is not new to me, but revisiting it today in preparation for this conversation. This is a philosophical concept. You don’t even really need the modifier “philosophical” if it complicates things for people listening, but amor fati. So this is something that helped me over lunch while I was preparing for this because it helped me to reframe. Could you explain what this is for people who may not be familiar?

Stephen West: Sure, yeah. It goes back probably before the Stoics if we’re being honest, but my favorite formulation of it is in Nietzsche where he’s talking about amor fati translates into love of fate. It’s the idea that so many traditions in the religious sectors or just in our everyday lived experience are renunciative. They aim at denying some aspect of ourselves or of reality in an attempt to try to make it better.

Nietzsche said “amor fati” is how he’s going to live his life. Henceforth, he decided everything he’s going to say yes to. He will be a yes-sayer, is what he says. This is an affirmative stance towards reality where, even if things are bad or uncomfortable or horrible, we’re going to affirm reality as it is and not idealize it into something that it’s not. It’s very common for people to do, even when they’re not religious, is to think of reality as though it owes you something. But to affirm reality fully is to accept the good, the bad. It’s not to rationalize about it and to try to make excuses for it or frame your suffering in a way where it makes it go away. To truly affirm life and reality is just to be in it and to have life itself be enough, truly. So yeah, I think that really is the essence of amor fati for me.

Tim Ferriss: And the way that I self-help bastardize this for myself, that could be a book title or a chapter in one of my forthcoming books, but if you wanted to bastardize this into something very self-help-y, what I ended up doing is okay, how could I exaggerate this to go beyond acceptance? If I actually had to find a way to praise, to view in a positive light, if I had to, that was an obligation with everything that’s going on right now, how would I do it with the recognition that if you do that with everything, you end up running around with rose-colored glasses and you’re going to whack your head on a lot of corners?

But in this particular case, like, okay, let me try really hard since I’ve been so focused on the things I can’t control or hyper aware of them, and the challenges and the hardship, not just now but that are going to probably be sustained for quite a few years now. That sitting down and just asking myself, what are the silver linings here? If I had to view this through a positive lens, what would I see? Just doing that over lunch for 10 minutes, I’d probably drop my cortisol and resting heart rate tremendously. And that may not be, Nietzsche’s turning over his grave with me just even approaching it this way.

Stephen West: No, I think that it’s an extension of what we talked about with the meditation practice being utilitarian framed, and by the way, I don’t think that should be a knock against it.

People get into meditation because it’s going to help them with anxiety or sleep better or 4x their productivity or something like that, but if that’s what gets you to the deeper stages of that, of your awareness where it’s no longer something you’re doing for some utilitarian end, that’s beautiful. There’s a famous thing from the end of the Tractatus by a philosopher named Wittgenstein where he talks about how all these arguments in this book have led us to this point, and now you can essentially throw out the entire book because we’ve gotten to this new place. He compares it to a ladder. So often in life, we’ll have a conversation about happiness, say. How do I become happy? What’s the best way to be happy? And then you climb this ladder and then at the end of getting to this new place, all these conversations get you to this new perspective in life, and then all the conversations about happiness just seem pointless. They just seemed naive almost, but it was only by having those conversations that got you to this next place anyway.

And Wittgenstein talks about how you kick this ladder out from underneath you. You climb up the ladder, you use it, and then you kick it out from underneath you and you don’t need it anymore. It’s just, I think, a utilitarian approach to practice or to this amor fati thing. How else are you going to get to deeper levels of understanding of it, or who’s to even say that that’s a deeper level of understanding it? Maybe this is just the best practical way for you to be using that in your life. I would not knock on you at all for doing that.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, thanks. I appreciate that.

Stephen West: You have my acceptance there.

Tim Ferriss: I would love to ask you, and maybe this will be helpful for people to hear. In my case, there are certain philosophies that for me are almost like operating systems. Stoicism would be one in some respects where it gives you recommendations or instructions for how you might reframe or respond in certain circumstances. And what I’m about to mention are not usually exclusive, but there’s also a philosophy that if I read it just lets the snow globe settle. It’s intrinsically calming just in the process of reading. That could be say one of Seneca’s letters. There’s one that I just thought was so hilarious.

It’s a microcosm of “On Anger,” but where he’s bitching and moaning about some type of bathhouse and gym below where he’s living and they’re sweaty and slapping things around and dropping weights, and it’s bugging the shit out of him. And it’s just so hilarious and also humanizing to be like, “Oh, yeah. Okay, I’m not the only impatient asshole who’s running around overreacting to these little things.” And then he offers some suggestions. But there are other things that I find very calming in and of themselves to read, and I’m wondering if there are any philosophers or writers broadly speaking with a philosophical bend, or philosophies that have that effect for you.

Stephen West: I personally don’t look to philosophy for a set of protocols to live by. I think it’s reactive. I think the world is always in a state of becoming, it’s always changing into the future, and I see a philosopher taking a snapshot in their work as a beautiful picture to look at, but not something that I really want to live by, at this point. I used to by the way. Throughout my twenties, it helped me immensely, but just for whatever it’s worth at this point, this is just where I’m at. It’s almost like painting is not the Mona Lisa. Painting is not Starry Night by van Gogh. Painting is a verb, it’s a process. For me, this is what philosophy is. It’s the embodiment of a different conceptual tracing of the world.

Tim Ferriss: What does that look like? I guess if we were to just put it in Conceptual Tracing for Dummies, right?

Stephen West: Right.

Tim Ferriss: In your lived experience, what would maybe an example look like?

Stephen West: Well, it’s the iterative process of showing up every day for the show and reading a philosopher and truly trying to embody their work for a moment, but it’s provisional. It’s not something that I’m accepting. I’m not tacking it onto the way that I see the world. It is just, I’m almost method acting a thinker in service to these other people that want to know about the thinker too. It really is a harmonious thing that’s going on and it’s fun, but yeah, I really do try to entertain ideas without accepting them. And it’s given me a lot of peace because I just realized who I am is not one set of protocols. It’s this weird mix of contradictions and I feel two ways simultaneously sometimes, and I’ll take pieces from this thinker and that thinker and put them together. Just for me personally, that’s more how I’m seeing philosophy. It’s this exercise that I’m engaged in. The snow globe settles, to use your metaphor, by being engaged in that exercise more personally.

Tim Ferriss: So if we’re looking at Stephen West’s version one, or maybe version 3.5, in your twenties when maybe you had a different lens on these things, were there particular philosophies or philosophers or writing that hopped out that we haven’t touched on?

Stephen West: Yeah. Nietzsche was huge for me early on in my life. Kierkegaard was very big after that, because I realized in my early twenties, what got me thinking about philosophy was The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins and The Moral Landscape by Sam Harris. I think at that time was Letter to a Christian Nation. It’s this whole new atheism sort of thing that was going on at the time. I had never read any philosophy before, so I thought, I mean, these people showed me what was possible to think about the world. And so I come from that New Atheist beginning. I used to just argue with people on the internet incessantly about that kind of stuff.

Tim Ferriss: That’s what the Internet’s made for.

Stephen West: Yeah. I was very young. But yeah, I remember for years I just wrote off every religious argument as just nonsense. Just like absolute โ€” just man-in-the-sky stuff. And then I read Kierkegaard and I started thinking totally differently about the whole question, about the language that people use to describe universal human experiences. Kierkegaard talks about God and he is a Christian. He’s describing a crisis in the church that’s going on during his time. But I remember it being like, it just hit me like a ton of bricks one day. I’m like, oh, I listen to rap music and they use different words, but I can relate to it because I’m feeling what they’re feeling. We’re both human beings. I may not come from Inglewood or something like that, but I can understand what they’re saying here. They’re using different words. And when I approached Kierkegaard like that and religious conversations more generally, it totally rocked me. And then that led me to Simone Weil, who’s been top five favorite philosophers ever for me. And yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Okay, that name you just gave, how do you spell the last name?

Stephen West: W-E-I-L.

Tim Ferriss: Okay. And how do you pronounce that? I don’t even know.

Stephen West: Weil.

Tim Ferriss: Weil. Okay.

Stephen West: Simone Weil. And for whatever it’s worth, it’s in another language. I’m just a dumb American.

Tim Ferriss: I’ve definitely fucked that up at least a dozen times.

Stephen West: I’m just a dumb American. It could be something totally different.

Tim Ferriss: If we added up all of my mispronunciations on this podcast, it would be the size of one of my phone books that I write.

Stephen West: Dude, she’s incredible because she just is living in this time in the beginning of the 20th century, she’s very skeptical of Marxism and capitalism and fascism and all these things that are going on. She had the ability, she was smart. She went to school. She had the ability to stay and be a professor and just sit behind a desk and write for the rest of her life. She didn’t do that. She got out of her position at the university and went and worked in a factory voluntarily just to see what it was like to be somebody working on the front lines to try to understand it as much as she possibly could. She didn’t want to live in theory, she didn’t want to have some theoretical understanding of what it was like to be a factory worker. She wanted to be there.

She just has this concept of attention, man. Her example that she writes in her journal is just when you’re talking to somebody, you can approach that conversation and filter every bit of it through this idea that like, what use is this person serving to me? Everything that they say, if I’m looking for similarities, it’s just so far as it’s commensurate with the way that I already look at things.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Stephen West: What can this person do for me? This conversation is boring to me, it doesn’t โ€” or there’s a way to not filter the person through all of your own agendas and projects, but just to see them as they are, it’s like a self-emptying, a kenotic. It’s very like you just try to receive them on their own home ground as much as you possibly can. And it’s a totally different framing, and it literally changed my life when I first read about it. So, yeah, that’s something I would write down.

Tim Ferriss: Okay. Let’s talk more about that, the self-emptying. Was it a particular phrasing or story that you read that hit you like a ton of bricks? Was it then trying to use it in your life? Can you say more about how it was impactful?

Stephen West: Sure. It was not a special story that she told. Again, like most of her writing in particular, she never intended for it to be published. It was just personal journals. But it hit me like a ton of bricks because I was realizing at that time that I had very narcissistic tendencies as a lot of people do in the modern world. I just think when we don’t have gods to worship and external rituals to follow, you just end up worshiping at the altar of yourself oftentimes. Narcissism is a default that you can sort of fall into if you’re not careful about it or aware of it. So when she said this though, and I was just, oh my god, that’s exactly what I’m doing. I was like 25 or something at the time, and then it really didn’t hit me fully until I was like 32, just how much every encounter that I’m having is just framing people in the world in terms of what it can do for me rather than for what purpose do I exist in this network around me? And yeah, it was incredible.

Tim Ferriss: So maybe looking at, I don’t know if it would be too presumptive of me to say a reaction to that, but can you speak to your decision, if it is a decision, to have as small a digital footprint as possible? Is that a fair question?

Stephen West: It’s fair. I think it’s just a lack of talent. Generally speaking, that’s what’s going on there. Nobody wants my footprints in their โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: There’s got to be more to it. There’s got to be more to it.

Stephen West: Is it?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. You could be doing choreographed dances on TikTok if you wanted.

Stephen West: No, I couldn’t. That’s where you’re wrong, Tim. No. No. Look, people give me offers. I try to keep the grass cut, I guess. One element of it is I try to keep my life simple.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Stephen West: I have my wife and kids, I have the show, and that’s about it. I love it that way. I love being able to be fully present in these things and not have 10 things going on in my head, and the people that support the show make it possible for me to live a life that simple and that focus. So I’m just super grateful.

Tim Ferriss: What are things, if any, that you’ve trained yourself to categorically say no to or be wary of in service of simplicity? Do you have certain rules for yourself?

Stephen West: Yeah, I really do sacrifice efficiency for meaning pretty often. Reading The 4-Hour Workweek was transformative for me, and it really put a fire underneath me to find a way to come up with protocols to live my days by and everything like that. And I’ve done so many different productivity type efficiency things over the years. In the last few years, I’ll find myself burning out if I separate myself from the task. If I do things for efficiency, personally, and I also realize who I’m talking to here. I know the people that listen to this show are โ€” I have so much respect for what you guys do and how you can be peak performers and all that stuff. It’s just, for me personally, I struggle with it. I struggle when I am giving myself, okay, the next four hours, and then I’m going to like meditate with Baby Yoda on top of a mountain, and then I’m going to like do โ€” me and my cat are going to report on our podcast โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Have you been watching my nanny-cam?

Stephen West: So yeah, it’s just, I will sacrifice efficiency for meaning a lot of times. And it doesn’t make me the most productive, but it โ€” the way I justify to myself is like, it’s a long play. I want to still be doing this for my family in 20 years. I want to still be writing and loving what I’m doing. So if I’m writing and I’m not feeling it, or I’m researching and I’m just not in it, then I will go and hang out with my family, or I’ll go and do something else, talk to my friend Dave. And so yeah, that’s a line that I set for myself, I guess.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I suppose if I were to add something too, there are a number of things I would add, but if I were to update, which I don’t think I’ll do because I don’t want to step on the butterfly, so to speak because I don’t know how that first book really did what it did. I think it would be arrogant of me to think that I could even really deduce what happened there. But if I were to add a few things to that book, one of them would be the dangers of valuing your time very highly and making that an immovable pillar of your life. What I mean by that is on one level, to a certain degree, and the dose makes the poison, I think that’s Paracelsus, but you can apply it here, which is learning to value your time is a valuable skill that allows you to learn, especially in the early stages, what makes sense to delegate and what does not, what is worth doing versus what is not worth doing.

And so you start to develop the ability to then later do things like 80/20 analysis and automation and all of the things that are in that book. However, if you land on some type of number, whether it’s ill-defined or very precisely defined, for what you are worth, what your time is worth per hour, you can end up feeling the agony of wasting time, anytime a minute is sacrificed doing something that you don’t think is high leverage, and that ends up being a very painful way to go through life.

Stephen West: Yeah. I feel that. Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. So for me, it’s like I have more and more, and I really like the way you phrased it, sort of sacrificed efficiency for meaning. But I would also say that when you start to focus on meaning, I think you get better at choosing the what. If effectiveness is the what of what do you do, so choosing what to do, and then efficiency is how well you do something? 

I think paradoxically, perhaps, when you start to sacrifice efficiency for meaning, you make better long-term choices, like you were saying, in service of the long game.

Stephen West: Right.

Tim Ferriss: Right?

Stephen West: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: And to play the long game, at least as far as I can tell, really well, you have to know what game you’re playing. And all of that requires a level of introspection that you can rob yourself of if you are trying to operate in the red zone at 500 miles an hour in the name of efficiency.

Stephen West: Yeah. And I’m not saying don’t be efficient, just make it a second or third order priority. And with as much work as you’ve done learning efficiency techniques, I’d imagine you can’t help but be efficient at a certain level when you do things. So it’s just part of your embodied world.

Tim Ferriss: I think there are like 10 percent of the things I do are default hyperefficient, and then I think people would be disgusted and shocked if they were to have seen the first half of my day today. They’d be like, “What is he doing? He looks like a Roomba with bad software. What is he doing in his house? I have no idea what’s happening right now.”

Stephen West: I think that’s the hard-hitting question.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I know. I didn’t see this turn of events when I was prepping for this conversation. I do think more and more โ€” who knows? Maybe that’s a book in the future, but they take me too long to write. So I either need to get faster at writing or I need to find a better format. Maybe it’s a podcast. Just the long game. What does it mean to play the long game?

Stephen West: Right.

Tim Ferriss: Because I think in a reactive, modern, digitally saturated environment, it’s very easy to get pulled into short games that are not of your own designing.

Stephen West: Yeah. And then to feel quasi alienated from everything you’re doing, like you’re looking at yourself from the outside or something. For me, this is what I struggle with. I don’t struggle with it anymore, but I have to be conscious about this every day for that reason.

Tim Ferriss: So there are a couple of cues I have here that are related to exploratory bullets, things that we can dig into. And maybe we’ve already covered it, but at the risk of repetition, I have here the non-obvious way that engaging in philosophy helps us grow.

Stephen West: Right.

Tim Ferriss: What is that?

Stephen West: I just think, as I said before, philosophy always lives in the shadow of the thing that we give credit to. There’s many examples of this and it’s related to a conversation of like, why would anybody even care about philosophy at all? It would definitely be something that I would think. We’re already thinking about things the best we’ve ever thought about them before. Look at the sciences. Why do we need old men yelling at each other about unverifiable speculation? Why do you need philosophy? And what that point misses is that philosophy is how we got to the point where we’re looking at the world in the way we do now. Some examples of this, Isaac Newton. Big name in the sciences, apparently. His big book is called Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy. One of them. It has “natural philosophy” in the title. It’s because the things he’s talking about that in that book, motion, optics, the relationship of particles. This was the domain of natural philosophy before Newton comes along and writes this landmark work, and then it becomes a specialized field.

Another example, psychology isn’t a specialized discipline until the end of the 19th century. Before that, questions like identity and how we behave around other people, these are questions in the philosophy of mind and ethics and epistemology, depending on what background you come from. One more example, Adam Smith. Scottish Enlightenment, wrote The Wealth of Nations. It’s like a cornerstone of modern capitalist thought. But he wasn’t an economist at first. He was an ethical philosopher. He starts asking questions about what sort of lives do we want to guarantee for people? What is a good life? How do we treat other people? This is what then scales up into his conversations at the level of economics and then turns into capitalism.

My point is that any point along the way here, somebody could come along and say, “Why do we need these philosophers abstracting about the individual human mind or something like that, or how to treat each other. We’re already thinking about things the best we ever have.” And what I’m saying is this is the role of philosophy, is to ask questions that seem a little bit wonky to us living during this moment, but they will become the best practices of tomorrow, and this will always be going on, and it’s still going on today. And it goes on in the lives of individuals and at the scale of the conversations, we’re trying to have better and better conversations.

Tim Ferriss: So if we go and double-click on better conversations, what strikes me, at least as one of the benefits I’ve derived from reading philosophical works, and honestly, it could even be a novel with interesting questions, which is what I want to focus on, that we have developed incredible technology. We have this fantastic framework, scientific method for principally not fooling ourselves, but testing hypotheses, which may start as a question. But I don’t find, and I’m happy to be disproven here, but that the scientific method itself helps people to generate better questions automatically. And at least as an adjunct, philosophy for me has been fertile ground for finding good questions.

Stephen West: Yeah. And by the way that goes on in every one of these specialized disciplines. The Ph in PhD stands for philosophy for a reason. The highest level of abstraction in any field is going to be philosophy. If you’re somebody well-educated in a field at the top of your field, in order to make progress in that field, you have to subvert the existing set of protocols and assumptions, axiomatically, that are going on in that field. To move the field forward, you have to be doing philosophy. And science is wonderful, but it is compartmentalized and specialized and technical and all the things that it is when we’re just talking about an experimental setting. But I think you’re right, anybody at the top of these fields has to be doing philosophy, and that extends to asking good questions in our lives to try to come up with new ways of seeing things. Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: So I’m so curious, since you are hoping to do this 10, 20 years from now in some form or fashion, how do you see it adapting? That may not even be the right word, changing over time in terms of format. And there may not be a need to do that. And I feel like you, by choosing a very well-defined, narrow lane that had not been filled before, you actually have more existential health insurance for your podcast than most podcasts by being that focused. I actually very firmly believe that, that you have much more anti-fragility built into it for surviving in an audio format.

Stephen West: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: It’s not the type of thing, especially given the duration that I feel would be forced into video for discovery. Maybe there are benefits to be had, but it can be an option and not an obligation perhaps for at least a period of time. How do you anticipate this could change over time? You mentioned the book projects, that’s one way of diversifying format, maybe opening new doors. But how are you thinking about playing the long game?

Stephen West: I’m not restricting myself to a plan, certainly. I think I’m just going to continue with what got me to the dance. I genuinely have just been listening to people tell me what they want to hear about and showing up every day. Completely iterative, just trying to do it the best I possibly can. That will change, but it won’t be planned. I think that I’ll just keep listening to the listeners and see what they want to do. I guess, here’s the heart of your question, maybe something you want. I would like to write philosophical fiction at some point. I would like to not be teaching philosophy forever. I would like to just incorporate philosophical ideas and maybe deliver it in a different way. So that’s like an outside possibility, if people are interested.

Tim Ferriss: I don’t think so. I don’t think so. I’ll be like the shoutcaster.

Stephen West: Really?

Tim Ferriss: Oh yeah.

Stephen West: Really?

Tim Ferriss: I don’t think it’s an outside โ€” 

Stephen West: Maybe this is the moment.

Tim Ferriss: I don’t think it’s a โ€” yeah, we have it recorded. I don’t think that’s an outside possibility at all. No.

Stephen West: Really, you think people would enjoy hearing about these philosophical ideas, it delivered to them in fiction? As long as I’m a decent writer.

Tim Ferriss: Especially if it’s not banging them over the head. In the sense that if it’s more of a Trojan horse and you are delivering, and this is a bit of a strained metaphor, but delivering the medicine with some honey. Absolutely. I think people are drawn to it already. They just wouldn’t necessarily describe it that way.

Stephen West: I feel like I’m writing these episodes and it is a lot of writing. Like I did the other day, started writing some fiction just for fun on the side, and I was like, wow, I’m doing the same thing that I do when I write the episodes. It’s just not real. It’s interesting how the skills translate over. So yeah, maybe. Maybe someday.

Tim Ferriss: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I would say I don’t think that’s an outside chance. Particularly, here’s what I would say, my recommendation, if I could be so audacious to give you completely unsolicited advice, but in the world of publishing, I have a couple of rounds under the belt. I would say hope, even though it’s not a strategy, but hope and plan based on the track record that you’ve produced so far. The market validation, that sounds so sterile and terrible, but that you’ve proven with what you’ve done that your first book, particularly with your built-in audience, will do well. So then, as a thought exercise, what do you do once you have bought yourself permission to do something that deviates from what you are known for?

Stephen West: Right.

Tim Ferriss: And then the answer might be fiction โ€” 

Stephen West: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” that has a lot of philosophy embedded. So I think that is a helpful hypothetical plan to think on, because otherwise, what happens to a lot of folks is they have a book that is unexpectedly to them, although in retrospect, it could have been predicted successful, which just means it buys you the right to have a second book. But because they feel pressure from an agent, a publisher, a family member, whatever it might be, to try to capitalize on the success, they end up doing version two of the same book. Or they end up doing, in my case, The 3-Hour Workweek, then The 2ยฝ-Hour Workweek, so on and so forth. And when you travel that path, you end up painting yourself into a genre corner.

Stephen West: Right.

Tim Ferriss: Which is the reason I did The 4-Hour Body after The 4-Hour Workweek, because I knew I could always go back to the first thing. That’s a two-way door. In other words, if you have the first book that’s a huge smash, you try the second book, which is off menu, but is really something you want to try. It doesn’t work? You can always go back to the first.

Stephen West: How do you think of the podcast here? Dostoevsky wrote books in installments. He would release them in papers. He got paid, and he would release a couple chapters at a time or something like that. It was serialized.

Tim Ferriss: Yep.

Stephen West: Much like podcasting. Do you see your ongoing podcast as a serialized version of a book that you’re just always writing and maybe episode 200 through 250 is a book?

Tim Ferriss: I would say my goals and insecurities and fears vary too much week to week, month to month for me to spot. I’m sure there are three lines, but I wouldn’t group it in that fashion. I view the podcast as my laboratory or my workshop, maybe both where I can, much like I’ve seen comedians do, for instance, even on the podcast, I’ve had comedians who have later I realized were testing material they were going to incorporate into their special. And I will kick things around that test the waters, see how my audience responds to guests, see how guests respond to certain types of questions. And then I’m like, okay, I’m getting, at this point, 7 out of 7 positive signals. Okay. Maybe I turn that into a dedicated episode that’s a solo episode. I see how that’s received. Maybe I turn that into a blog post and I see how that’s received.

Knowing all the while that there is, I think, a significant risk to your identity to over-relying on audience signal. I really think you can โ€” 

Stephen West: Get captured?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, you can get captured and shaped. You can turn into a caricature of your greatest clips on YouTube, and God save you if that ends up happening. It’s much harder to undo than it is to succumb to. So paying attention to all of that still, effectively what I’m doing, and the way that I try to avoid that is effectively to say, all right, here are four or five things I want to do anyway. Now I just want to figure out which of these could be viable. I would be very happy to do any of these four. So I’ve decided that upfront so that I don’t get oversteered by the audience. Now, let me see what really resonates. And we were talking about this a little earlier, but the personal being the most universal. What is the thing inside me that also seems to strike a chord and resonate with at least some subset?

And for me, I’m looking for amplitude of effect. I don’t want a six out of 10 from 80 percent of my audience. I want a 10 out of 10 from like 20 percent of my audience. So that’s how I think about it. But the podcast is really, for me, helping me explore things I otherwise wouldn’t explore, solve my own problems, frankly, get some inspiration when I feel like I need some inspiration, and that’s more or less how I think of it. It’s like I haven’t โ€” 

Stephen West: It’s a very wise way to do it. It’s very lived. It matches with your experience. This becomes a forum for the stuff that you’re interested in. And then like you’re talking about, a test, like a case study for whether you want to explore something deeper with your audience. It’s beautiful, man.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, thanks.

Stephen West: Because you’re not just planning episodes out into the future, just saying, oh, this is what Tim Ferriss would do.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Stephen West: Yeah, you’re just living life and then, it’s cool. And I guess I’m here as one little small part of that.

Tim Ferriss: I don’t know how small, man. I’ll give you an example. So you’re talking about fiction, like I have also had this be in my bonnet about fiction and wrote 30,000, 40,000 words of fiction about a year and a half ago, two years ago now, I guess. And it seems hypocritical of me to give you the unsolicited advice that I gave you while not revisiting my own self-imposed limitations around it, or procrastination. So who knows? Maybe I’ll look back and I’ll be like, fuck, I accidentally called myself out. Shit. Didn’t see that coming. My interactions with guests have had such a huge impact on my life. It’s impossible to overstate. Enormous, gigantic.

Tim Ferriss: All right, and this is one of the rapid-fire questions, but it doesn’t need to be a fast answer. It’s just intended to be something that’s fun to play with. So the billboard question, right? If there was a billboard, metaphorically speaking, you could put a message on, a quote, a word, a question, an image, anything at all, just to convey it to mass numbers of people, what might you put on the billboard?

Stephen West: Geez, man, this is a great question, because it’s like the inverse of me. The idea that wisdom can be distilled down into a single quote or an idea or something, this is kind of the antithesis of what I’m doing. It’s a way of thinking wisdom. It’s not a particular idea. If I have to come up with one โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Great question for you then.

Stephen West: How about that be the one that takes advice? How about that?

Tim Ferriss: I like that.

Stephen West: I don’t give advice, because if a person is asking for advice, typically, they’re not the person that really takes the advice, really. So it’s almost always a waste of your time. But if you’re the one that genuinely takes advice, and it’s ironically me giving you advice to be the one that takes advice, but if you can do that, if you can manage that, then you won’t need advice here in six months, you’ll be the one giving it. Right? So maybe that’s what I put on the billboard.

Tim Ferriss: So someone sees that, they’re like, “You know what? I like the sound of that. I want to be someone who takes advice.” How might that manifest? How might they change how they relate to people or the world or otherwise? What might that look like?

Stephen West: Geez, I don’t know. Man, they’d have to really pay attention to the advice that’s being given to them, and that would maybe come from just reading the world around them a bit better. I think advice comes, not just from deliberately like a motivational video on YouTube, but the world around you is trying to tell you stuff all the time, if you’re paying attention to it. So maybe that goes along with it. Just don’t think of the world as just buildings and people walking around. You think of it as education. Truly try to take things from moments and be open to them.

It’s maybe an important point here for philosophy. Like we’re talking about before, it can turn into just this broad theoretical exercise that doesn’t really change you at all, and nobody really takes action. That’s why I think any serious philosophy has to be coupled with openness and curiosity and somebody willing to let the ideas impact them. And I just think education, like advice giving, people often relegate it to a room, a classroom with a teacher in front and there’s desks and there’s pencils and everything. But if you strip away all the rules there and reterritorialize it, education is constant. It’s constantly going on. And so, yeah, I don’t know. That’s what I’d add to it.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I dig it. Okay. So let’s say as part of that, people are listening and they’re thinking to themselves, “You know what? I want to try this philosophy thing that everybody’s talking about.”

Stephen West: It’s a hit with the kids.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, exactly. Minecraft and philosophy, it’s all these kids talk about these days. So how does someone or what advice might you have for someone who wants to find the right book to further explore what they’re interested in or might find interesting within the very broad field of philosophy?

Stephen West: So I used to give overviews of philosophy and stuff like that. I don’t do that anymore. I just think the book that’s best for you is the one that you’re going to stick with. It’s the one that’s going to get you the value proposition of studying philosophy, which is the one that you’re going to be the most interested in. So look into your heart, maybe go to the bathroom and flip the lights on and off for a while and just stare at yourself in the mirror. And really โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: That sounds so intense.

Stephen West: โ€” really think about what you’re interested in. And then, when you find it, go to, I would say, The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. It’s like Wikipedia on steroids. It’s a free site and it has an entry for basically anything out there. It’s certainly not like the gospel. You shouldn’t go there reading it and thinking you’re an expert in the field, but it is a step up from Wikipedia. Because it cites academic sources. It’s usually written by somebody from academia that has dedicated a good portion of their thought in life to this particular area. So it’s a great place to start.

That’s what I would say, start with a secondary source, meaning don’t just go to Barnes & Noble, look at Being and Nothingness by Sartre, it’s like 700 pages long, and just pull it off and start trying to read it. You’re not going to get much out of it. It’s a great classic way to just be bored, I guess. Why would you ever do that? There’s so much context about these thinkers and why they’re even interested in the questions that they are.

Tim Ferriss: So when you say, “secondary source,” what you mean by that is someone who is commenting on the work?

Stephen West: Some expert that is trying to humanize this work, trying to make it available, that maybe dedicated their whole life to studying them, but they’re talking about the work itself, giving you context, explaining the ideas, not in the language that a philosopher uses. So I think that’s massively helpful, and I don’t know why anybody that’s just starting out, which is what this example is for, would ever start with something other than a secondary source.

Tim Ferriss: So I guess maybe an example of that for Stoicism would be, certainly, Ryan Holiday’s work. He’s right here, nearby. He’s 30 minutes away or so.

Stephen West: Nice.

Tim Ferriss: The Obstacle Is The Way and so on or I think it’s just called [A Guide to] the Good Life, William Irvine, I believe it is.

Stephen West: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: Could be getting that wrong. But something along those lines, which then comments on Epictetus and so on, all of these figures โ€” 

Stephen West: Right, after reading those books, those secondary sources, you read the originals and you get much more out of them, because you know where they’re coming from, right?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. You can wade through all of the astronomy and the sort of cosmological arguments and not throw the book away in anger and confusion.

Are there any really bizarre philosophers or philosophies, strange โ€” 

Stephen West: Yeah.

Tim Ferriss: โ€” that you’re kind of into it, like philosophy kink? Is there any โ€” 

Stephen West: Yeah, there’s people that are deliberately bizarre to try to invite people to do more philosophy and do it in new ways. So a great example of this is a guy named Gilles Deleuze, who actually just died in the ’90s.

Tim Ferriss: How do you spell the last name?

Stephen West: D-E-L-E-U-Z-E.

Tim Ferriss: Okay, got it.

Stephen West: So he’s a great example of somebody that his philosophy is an invitation. The only reason I use the word, “bizarre,” is because it would seem bizarre to somebody else that just doesn’t really like thinking about philosophy or something. So most philosophers throughout history, if we can paint them into a broad category, think of concepts, remember the ways we chop up and make sense of the world.

In terms of nouns, they think of them in terms of a thing that exists statically. But Deleuze, to put this in extremely simple terms here, he just doesn’t think anything has a fixed formal essence like that at all. Everything is constantly moving and changing. So we’re only setting ourselves up for misunderstanding in the world if we think about things in terms of fixed categories, snapshots of the world at all. So because of this, he thinks of the world mostly in terms of verbs, you could say. This is, again, a big oversimplification of it, but he doesn’t even think in terms of concepts. He thinks in terms of machines. A tree is not a thing that exists out there in the woods. It is only a thing insofar as it connects to many other things that present a problem to us in some way for that tree. The tree is part of a process that’s going on, an assemblage of things, a machine, that is constantly moving and changing. And it can be used for a million different purposes by somebody, but the thing in itself doesn’t really have a static identity at all.

When you ask for a bizarre example of a philosopher’s work, this is one that I love, because it gets you to start thinking of reality in maybe entirely different ways. What would reality be structured around adverbs, for example? It would just be the modulation of the way that things are arising or โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Quickly and cheaply.

Stephen West: Exactly. And so what would that look like? It wouldn’t be a machine. It would be like a song or something, or a poem, or I’m not even sure, but this is the point. This is philosophy right here. It’s just like, how do we look at the same things through a different framing and then, get exciting new ways of looking at the world, new possibilities for us on the other side of it? So Deleuze is perfect for that, I think.

Tim Ferriss: Great. Thank you. One of the big questions on your show, I believe, please fact-check me, brutally, if need be, but is, in essence, why do you believe what you believe, right? Is that fair to say?

Stephen West: Sure. Yeah. Certainly, at the beginning of the show, yeah.

Tim Ferriss: So can you unpack that for us? How does someone begin to attempt to answer that? Or are there toolkits that you would recommend for someone who wants to try to engage with that question, “Why do you believe what you believe?” Why this question at all, I suppose, is where we could start.

Stephen West: Yeah, I think that was something towards the beginning of my show, because I just find the question, personally, to be unanswerable the older that I get. I don’t think we’re in the best place to know why we believe the stuff that we believe. We just come up with rational narratives after the fact that sound good to us, I think. That’s more how I see it. But yeah, I’m telling you, if you want to be more self-aware of your beliefs, the key is to do this very philosophical exercise we’ve been talking about. Take a concept that is seemingly well-known, that everybody has thoughts on, and just shake it up. Love is one that I use on the show a lot, because it’s so common. Love, justice, freedom, these are concepts that basically everybody has thoughts on.

Love. What’s a common way of thinking about love? Love is a thing that happens to you. “It’s not a choice that I made. I was just around this person, and then, I fell in love with them. That’s how I go from this liking somebody to loving somebody.” What is that transition? “Well, it just happened to me. I fell in love. That’s how it happened.” Then somebody else can come along and say, “No, love for me is a choice that I make. It’s a set of conditions. I choose to love someone. And it’s when they meet these criteria, it’s when they make a certain amount, it’s when they look a certain way. These are secondary things, but really, it’s that they provide some kind of emotional service for me. That’s when I know I love someone is when my Starbucks order can be messed up and I get a little testy when they don’t put the extra shot inside of it. And so, the person I love is going to be there for me and submit to me and make me feel good about it.”

But then, a philosopher might come along and just shake those things up. “It’s not something that happens to you. It’s not a set of conditions. Love is something more unconditional,” they might say. They might say, “Love is a verb, not a noun. It is a commitment, an active commitment, to a little slice of the universe and a person that I’m going to affirm them exactly as they are. I’m not going to idealize them. I’m not going to demonize them. I’m not going to make excuses for them, rationalize them in some way. I’m just going to look at them and try to receive them on their own home ground, that this is the essence of love.”

Now, even if you disagree with that, first of all, that’s one of thousands of different ways a philosopher might shake up love and try to get you to think about it in a new way, even if you disagree with that, you have to defend your position on what love is. You’re already doing philosophy, and it’s valuable. It makes you have to come back to your core principles and define them and defend them in a way that’s, I think, good for the world. Yeah, there’s also an outside chance you hear that from the philosopher, and it changes the whole way you see every relationship in your life.

This is why you’ll hear a philosopher talk about the philosophy of language or something. They’ll talk about, “What does it mean to mean something?” or something like that. And rightfully so. Everybody looks at that and cringes, and it’s just like, “Why would anybody be thinking about that?” But I just think, to do it with these well-known concepts, to read the thinking of people that are trying to stir up these rigid definitions and get you to see the world in the new conceptual tracing, massively valuable. People that send me emails will say they feel like they’ve lived 10 lifetimes in the amount of time they used to live one, because with the love example, they might go through five relationships, get their heart broken five times before they think about love in this new way and try to create a new tracing of it. So anyway, why we believe what we believe, I think, comes from just engaging in that process more. 

Tim Ferriss: So let’s do a callback to the New Atheists, Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, both tremendous writers.

Stephen West: Fantastic.

Tim Ferriss: And so you used to yell at people on the internet.

Stephen West: Hard to yell over the keyboard, but yeah, I would type very ferociously.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah. Yeah, lots of aggressive typing. And now, you’re looking at, if I remember correctly, sort of the maybe intersections or comparisons between philosophy and religion. Where do you personally sit with religion now?

Stephen West: Well, I’m not going to church every Sunday.

Tim Ferriss: Yeah.

Stephen West: To the spirit of your question, do I believe in a God that is in the sky that has a moral dictate for me to follow, that I’m going to get into the after โ€” no, no, I don’t. But I will say this. The older that I get, the more I realize that most of the high-level theologians and philosophers that talk about these issues don’t believe in a God like that either. This is almost like a dramatized version of a God that speaks to people when they’re just being people. They’ve got kids, they’ve got a job to go to, they don’t got time to sit around and read philosophy and religion all day long. You need a story that’s going to relate to them, and it guides them to wisdom that’s written into it. I don’t think that God needs to be anthropomorphic like that.

In this religious phenomenology thing, it’s been much more along the lines of Aquinas, where he just believes God is being itself or somewhere along these lines. Obviously, a very complicated conversation to try to put into a summary form here, but yeah, I am more and more interested with what โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: How would you answer that question on a billboard with three words?

Stephen West: That’s all you get. No, yeah, for sure. It’s tough. But yeah, I would say that I’m deeply fascinated in it and humble, like humbly reading these thinkers and genuinely opening myself to trying to understand what’s being said deeper. And that’s all I can do really, I think.

Tim Ferriss: So I suppose, if I were to improve upon my question or add a little more context, I suppose what I’m wondering, because I used to also be on, I would say, the militant atheist side of things, in part because of a friend of mine, a very, very close friend, one of my closest friends, was sort of weaponized within a very militant church during a very vulnerable time in his life. And so, I took it upon myself to try to rescue him from that situation. Did not work, but in the process of trying to arm myself with the right tools, I read all the books. And I was like, “Okay, I’m going to read Bertrand Russell. I’m going to read this. I’m going to read Dawkins. Da da da da. I’m going to gather the Avengers of the sort of atheist world or the four horsemen of the atheist apocalypse depending on who you ask, and I’m going to go in with all the arguments.” And ultimately, didn’t really work.

I also realized that religion for him at that point was actually really important lifeline/raft that he needed in a life of incredible instability at that point in time. So I didn’t end up pressing it. But then, over time โ€” well, I don’t want to make this some kind of TED Talk for me right now, but the question for you is, I’ve softened around those edges a lot, and I’m wondering if, in your reading of philosophy, if you’ve come across writings from people who might be described as mystics, people who’ve had these direct experiences, with different labels, revelatory experiences, divine experiences, whatever they might be, or who struggle to divine something. And again, maybe they use terms that you’ve learned to see as symbolic, much like the rap music, or basically, you wouldn’t use the same words, but you feel like you understand the intention behind them, where you’re glancing across their descriptions of the numinous, and that’s affected you in some way. That is what on some level has happened to me through a few different channels.

Stephen West: You’ve read the mystics?

Tim Ferriss: Yeah, I do read a lot related to whether it’s Sufism or could be in the Christian traditions for sure. It could be any number. The team, so to speak, doesn’t matter as much to me as clear lucid description of what they feel was a direct encounter with something that is, I don’t want to use this word, but it’s as good as any right now, divine or but both accessible and perhaps ubiquitous and everywhere, while, at the same time, being or feeling hidden to most people. Right? Something like that.

Stephen West: Yeah, it’s not like you’ve argued a set of theoretical abstractions, come up with a philosophical system, and arrived at the divine. It’s like you strip away something, it’s imminent. It’s always sort of there. And various different types of self emptying, where just, through a practice, you can feel communion with the stuff around you at like a level that’s just extreme. Yeah, this is what we’ve been talking about on the show recently, and yeah, it’s fascinating to me the limitations of philosophy there, where there are aspects of the human experience that cannot be put into abstractions. 

So yeah, it’s dope, man. I’m super fascinated by it myself and excited to keep going deeper into these waters.

Tim Ferriss: Any particular, again, for lack of a better word, sort of mystics who’ve grabbed your attention?

Stephen West: Simone Weil’s often described as a mystic, more of a mystic practitioner than she is a mystic. Julian of Norwich. There’s multiple of these that their stories are just fascinating. Dogen, I’ve only read his name, but he’s a Zen โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: Dogen.

Stephen West: Dogen. So I don’t know if he’s a mystic, but he definitely is in this wheelhouse of people as a Zen practitioner that is saying โ€” 

Tim Ferriss: He’s a first cousin at least.

Stephen West: Really?

Tim Ferriss: To the mystics, I mean.

Stephen West: Yeah, definitely. So those are people that I find truly fascinating. And what I find also fascinating are people that are arriving at this kind of insight, but they’re trying to not go into religious practice. Like Camus is a guy that I’m doing on the podcast right now. I’m deep into his work, and he is just kicking and screaming, it seems, in his work to not go religious. Because he’s so skeptical of what it leads to. But he’s so interested in a pre-theoretical like justifying our behavior without justifying it with rational abstractions and just absurdism, as lucid revolt against the absurd, a descriptive endeavor, not a normative one. He’s talking about it in very mystic-sounding language, but then, he’s trying to do it within, not even the realm of philosophy, he rejects philosophers. He famously said he’s an artist and not a philosopher.

Tim Ferriss: He made a tough assignment for himself.

Stephen West: Yeah. He died in a car crash, unexpectedly. I honestly stay up at night these days thinking about what his late work would’ve been like. How does he not eventually go more in this religious direction, a daily lived practice as being the most authentic way to get access to this stuff? Although he was very skeptical of deifying eminence, as he says, this thing that we’re talking about, turning that into a God of itself. Anyway, he’s fascinating to me.

Tim Ferriss: Well, I look forward to more episodes.

Stephen West: Definitely.

Tim Ferriss: And Stephen, we covered a lot of ground. Is there anything else you’d like to say? Anything we haven’t covered? Any closing comments, requests for my audience, anything you’d like to point them to? Certainly, they can find you at philosophizethis.org on Patreon. They can find you very easily. PhilosophizeThis on X. I am Stephen West, that’s with a P-H, Stephen West YouTube @PhilosophizeThisPodcast. Anything at all that you’d like to say before we wind to a close?

Stephen West: I guess I would just say thank you for being patient with me. And I get going in my head talking about philosophy. I don’t get to have conversations this deep about philosophy with very many people. I’m mostly around my wife and kids who want nothing to do with those sorts of things. So thank you for giving me a forum, and if I was a little too speedy talking through this stuff, I apologize. But just send me an email if you have any further questions, anybody. Thank you for you, man. Thank you for the sacrifice over the years, for doing something when you could have just sat around and did nothing, with your life. You did something. And that sacrifice literally opened possibilities for me that landed me here in this beautiful place. So thank you very much.

Tim Ferriss: Thanks, man. I really appreciate that, and I love doing it. How did I end up with this as a job, right?

Stephen West: Definitely.

Tim Ferriss: And I’m very excited for more episodes. People check out Philosophize This. It’s so relatable. It is so easily digested. Give it a shot. You will not regret it. And I’m also very excited about your book adventures. So we may offline chat more about that.

Stephen West: Definitely, yeah, thank you.

Tim Ferriss: So to be continued. And to everybody listening, we will link to everything that we discussed in the show notes, as per usual, Tim.blog/podcast. If you search West, I think you may be the only West I’ve interviewed, so Stephen West with a P-H.

Stephen West: You haven’t gotten Kanye? Kanye hasn’t been on the show?

Tim Ferriss: He’s not returning my texts. I don’t know. He’s very unpredictable.

Stephen West: Why’d I even come?

Tim Ferriss: Until next time, as always, everybody, be just a bit kinder than is necessary, not only to others, but to yourself as well. If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete, as Jack Kornfield would say. And also, as always, thanks for tuning in. See you next time.